AN: Ok, here we go! Reviewer Replies! Apparently my zinger last chapter worked because there's a lot of them and I couldn't be more pleased!

Greer123: It does seem that way doesn't it? Yeah, Kaido's gonna freak. I'm doing fine thanks for asking (^_^)

Shooter312: Glad you enjoyed!

Slimesam: Hahahahahahahahahahaha Funny you should mention that!

og. grid: Very glad you're still enjoying

King0fP0wers: It does doesn't it? You're right, that will be a fun arc.

Sultan Asil Arslan-Hiatus: He certainly is, and what makes you think he won't? Well I'd love for Oda-sensei to hurry up and get on to the Wano afterparty so we can find out and I can stop off screening things like that! Seriously, do you have any idea how hard it is to write a character who we've hardly seen outside of a combat situation? That said, I'm thinking judging by the fact that she was a happy drunk while drinking and talking with Ace, she is probably a happy drunk. How will Garp react to Sabo? Probably the same as Ace and Luffy I would think.

Soledge1: I'm certainly glad you like it enough to read it all in one go.

NoaRien: Chaos my friend, CHAOS.

ThakurfrmUK: Shouldn't be too many more chapters, one more of Baratie, Arlong Park and then it's off to Loguetown.

Rivet94: Good, I like it when my readers have fun. (^_^)

tommy. istas: It certainly looks that way doesn't it?

bigbrewer: Hooray!

Reptil: Very glad to hear it, and yes I quite intend to (^_^)

Boredoom: Quite correct, Bones may be brilliant at pissing people off, but he's also just flat out BRILLIANT sometimes. I'm very glad you're enjoying, and yes I'm doing quite well thank you.

C: Very glad you're enjoying (^_^)

Guest: Well good, I'm glad (^_^)

Chunky Mutt: The same way I'm handling everything else until we get out of Wano and can get some more info on Yamato: very, VERY carefully.

Guest: Yes indeed!

Ominous Olethros: Yes. As for Sanji, he doesn't really stand a chance against Bones as he is now since Bones has the same brand of invulnerability as Kaido, Yamato and Big Mom.

dragon rose 11: Yes. It is quite frustrating for there to be such a dearth of fics regarding her, but trying to write her myself with so many unknowns about her, I can certainly understand why others might be put off the challenge.

guest: More you say? More you shall have!

GJO1088: Such a thing is not impossible. Yes it should prove quite fun. Worry not, I've got plans for the Kuja. It promises to be quite a reaction. (chuckles) Wait and see! Once again, such a thing is not impossible.

Arch the Ripper: Yes!

Guest: More.

GoddammitMichael1: (chuckles) While I'm certainly glad you're enjoying enough to consider such a thing, I find that the surest way to make something from fun into a chore is to attach payment to it. Support? Like anyone who does this for fun, I thrive on comments. They make me happy and motivate me to continue bringing the story from my mind to the screen. A Devil Fruit? Now who said he was getting one of those? Perhaps he will simply be frightfully lucky! One should however always remain open to possibilities yes?

With all that out of the way, on with the show!

Chapter 6

…

…May 27th, East Blue, Baratie…

…

The bright and festive mood of the small party at the Baratie vanished as the topic of conversation turned to the Krieg Pirate Armada's recent foray into the Grand Line. Even the sunlight streaming in through the windows seemed to dim as the Krieg Pirates' second in command seemed to shrink in on himself. All eyes were on him as he began, even the normally unquenchably sunny Luffy stopped eating and was silent as the broken man spoke.

"It was all going so well until the seventh day, calm seas, a gentle breeze, the sun shining down, it was perfect, beautiful sailing weather…" Gin explained, although his face spoke volumes of the horrors that came on the seventh day as he gripped his rum tight, "Then the lookout spotted something. He said it was a coffin on the water, with a big cross sticking up out of it. I got out my spyglass to look, thinking the man was drunk or seeing things."

Gin shook his head, his eyes a thousand miles away, "No, he wasn't drunk. There was a coffin, floating on the waves, just as casual as you please, and a great big cross sticking up out of it. Riding on top of it on I swear to god a throne, was a man in a black cape. He had this hat, it was a real fancy hat," Gin gestured with his hands to indicate the size of the hat in question, "And…I didn't know why at the time, but…my instincts just suddenly started screaming at me…" He looked up and gave Zoro an utterly haunted look as he whispered, "…run."

"He was just floating along, I could've sworn he was asleep, but nobody'd be crazy enough to just go sailing on a coffin in the Grand Line right? Then BOOM!" Gin exclaimed, "A shot's fired from the ship on our left."

Gin paused for a moment, taking a drink to steel his nerves against the horrors flashing behind his eyes. Even with the liquid courage in him, he set the bottle down looking like he might be sick, "If I ever find the man who fired that cannon, he'll wish he hadn't survived, because he'd have to have been the only man aboard that ship who did."

"What happened?" Usopp asked, clearly very invested in the story and very, very spooked.

"The man on the coffin woke up when the shot splashed into the water next to him," Gin replied, "And then he reached back behind him and we realized…that wasn't a throne behind him. It was the hilt of his sword. Massive thing, real fancy, must've been worth fifty, a hundred million beris…but that blade…" he shuddered at the memory, "it was as black as pitch, and as long as a man is tall. This guy though, he's just casually drawing it with one hand…He picked it up straight over his head, I swear he never even looked up, and when he brought it down…"

He looked around for some kind of visual aid and then settled for clasping his hands together, fingers pointed at Luffy, "Imagine this is the bow of the ship that fired on him, big ship, really sturdy, seen half a dozen battles with the Navy and still strong. When he brought that sword down…" Gin let his hands fall to the table palms up, "The ship split like a melon. From the bow to the stern, just as clean as if you'd dropped a giant guillotine through it! Even the mast was split clean in two! Just, just…crash! All of a sudden men were screaming and drowning, someone tried to fire on him again and he just casually swung that sword again like waving a twig! Boom! The cannonball exploded midair without ever getting close to him!"

"Then…then he stood up…" Gin whispered as he started shaking, "The Don ordered us to flee…I can still hear our men screaming and our ships splitting apart…I…I know we should've tried to help them, but…what could we do? He…that…that thing… there's no way he was even human! You, you can't just split ships like firewood with a sword! It was black magic, it had to have been…I…you may not believe me, but I do believe it was the Devil himself…come to collect our damned pirate souls…"

He looked each of the young folk at the table in the eye, "Please, I know I've no right to say this to you young kids who are so full of dreams, but don't go to the Grand Line! The Devil's there waiting for you!"

Silence reigned for a few moments and then Reiju sighed, "No, not the devil. Just a man."

Everyone, especially Gin, stared at her in shock. "…What?" Gin asked.

"Specifically, the World's Strongest Swordsman," Reiju explained, "Hawkeye Mihawk, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea. Don't feel bad, he's one of the strongest fighters in the world, including the ones who aren't human."

"That was…Hawkeye Mihawk?" Zoro asked, sweat suddenly breaking out across his forehead.

Reiju nodded, "According to Bones, that's who that was."

Gin sat forward, "Um, Miss, I'm not trying to be rude, who's Bones and what the hell has he got to do with it?"

Reiju smiled sympathetically, or maybe pityingly, it was hard to tell with her sometimes, "Bones is an oracle who I have yet to see a wrong prediction from except for the ones that he or I personally made go differently. If he says Hawkeye Mihawk did it, and judging from your description which sounds exactly like Hawkeye Mihawk confirming it, then you can bet money that it was Hawkeye Mihawk. I have a picture of Mihawk if you'd like to check."

She rifled through the papers she now kept close to her chest at all times before extracting the page she was looking for, "Here you go. Is this the man you saw?" She slid it across the table and Gin looked like he'd seen a ghost as he took in the figure burned into his memory recaptured in sharp jagged lines of crosshatch.

Spotting the disbelief in Gin's eyes, she smiled and pulled out a different page, "Oh, perhaps this will help convince you that strength beyond your imagining exists in this world."

She handed the paper across to Gin who accepted it and upon unfurling it went ghostly pale before looking across at Reiju, "This can't be real."

Koala leaned over to look at it, "Nah, I got my bounty the same day. Same incident. Yeah he just, ya know, casually knocks down buildings and shrugs off bullets like they're not there." As Gin looked at her in horror, Koala shot a teasing grin at Reiju, "The real question though is why did you have that in your boobs?"

Reiju's face was a study in neutrality as she replied with a polite smile, "Why, where else would I keep important papers? If he had been duping me, I'd have wanted to remember his face to kill him."

Sabo and Koala snorted in unison trying to restrain a laugh. Reiju frowned, "What's so funny? Bones thought I could kill him."

Sabo smirked, "We're not laughing at that Miss Reiju, what's funny is that you think Bones has a dishonest bone in his entire body."

Reiju did blush ever so slightly at that and noticed Sanji paying razor sharp attention, so she explained, "Sanji, if someone told you Marines were going to salute pirates, would you believe anything else they said?"

Sanji snorted, "You're kidding right? There's no way they'd do that!"

Zoro and Luffy swapped a glance and smirk which was not lost on anyone else. "Wait, wait, wait," Usopp protested, "You mean that actually happened?!"

"Yeah," Luffy declared with a grin, "Coby and all the other guys at Shellstown did after me an' Zoro beat up their boss and his son!"

"They had it comin'," Zoro explained.

Zeff snorted with a smile, "Far from the strangest thing I've seen. Just out of curiosity though, where did you say that was?"

"Shellstown," Reiju replied, "Captain Axe-Hand Morgan. Zoro carved him up like a turkey when he tried to get a cheap shot in on Luffy."

Gin sat forward in shock, "You guys took down Axe Hand Morgan on his own turf?!"

Luffy nodded and then paused with a frown, "Is that bad?"

"That's incredible!" Gin declared, "Shellstown is a fortress and Axe Hand Morgan's an absolute terror! Even the Don didn't tread in his waters! Did you two really…wait a minute," he went slightly pale, "Zoro? As in Roronoa Zoro, the Pirate Hunter?!"

Zoro looked at him, "Yeah, that's me."

Gin leaned over to Koala and stage whispered, "We're sitting with some very scary people."

Koala stage whispered back with a smirk, "I'm from the Grand Line, I've got a hundred million beri bounty, and I can take down entire pirate crews by myself. I am very scary people."

Gin leaned away from her with a look of shock and then a weak little laugh escaped him as he wilted in his seat, "I… I wanna go home now…"

"But why?" Luffy asked with a quizzical tilt of his head, "The party's just getting started. Is it because we don't have music?"

Nami sighed, "There you go again, I told you Luffy, we need a cook before we get a musician! A musician won't join if we can't feed him!"

Sanji pulled a guitar from seemingly thin air and strummed a chord, "Music?"

Luffy looked liable to explode from excitement as Nami blushed. Sabo and Koala on the other hand were trying hard to contain their laughter at Sanji's instantaneous response to Nami's words. Zeff just sighed with a fond smile and shot a glance at the young pirates, "So you're needing a cook and a musician? Well then, since you've already got his sister with you, have the eggplant too."

Sanji's mood switched from 'people pleaser' to 'enraged argument' in an instant, "EXCUSE ME?! I TOLD YOU YA SHITTY GEEZER, I'LL BE HERE UNTIL LONG AFTER YOU'RE GONE! YOU'RE NOT GETTING RID OF ME THAT EASY!"

Reiju huffed quietly between them and considered the argument that had erupted to life between her baby brother and the man who was very clearly his adopted father. Then she placed a hand on each of their shoulders, "Sanji? Chef? Can I have a word with you two in private? You two need to know about something."

Sanji and Zeff swapped a glance and then nodded in agreement before getting to their feet. Reiju rose and then paused, shooting a glance at Luffy. After a moment of thought, she extended her hand over her plate. A vicious looking magenta liquid fell out of her palm and covered her food, "Luffy, that's poison. I'm the only person who can eat that now. If you eat my food while I'm gone, you'll go blind, you won't be able to eat for three days, and your manhood will shrivel up and fall off."

Reiju smirked as Luffy immediately covered the body part in question with a look of horror on his face. Now certain that her food would still be there when she got back, she turned, "We'll be back soon."

.

…Meanwhile, In The Grand Line…

.

"Captain Isuka reporting as ordered ma'am!" The beautiful young red haired woman declared as she stepped into the Commodore's office. Her ship had been assigned to patrol alongside a minor detachment from an infamous anti-Devil Fruit user task force headed up by a semi-retired Admiral. The Commodore was one of his three seconds-in-command.

"Oh good you're here," the Commodore noted as she looked over the top of the stack of papers in her hand, "Have a seat."

Isuka took a seat, immensely nervous. The woman at the desk wasn't much older than her, but the fact that she was a Commodore in charge of one third of such an infamous task force and a well known Devil Fruit User in her own right was more than a smidge intimidating. If one weren't aware of her standing, they might mistake the well dressed, midnight blue haired beauty with disorienting maroon eyes for the secretarial assistant of some big wig. Such underestimation would quickly prove lethal.

"Says here that you had multiple run-ins with the pirate "Fire Fist" Ace, now Second Division Commander of the Whitebeards," the Commodore declared, "And that you were even present alongside Vice Admiral Draw when he was offered a seat among the Seven Warlords, a nomination which you independently backed, apparently unaware that the same nomination had been put forth by Vice Admiral Garp. Is all that correct?"

Isuka felt a very unpleasant chill run down her back, "Yes ma'am, that's correct."

"Says here that you and he are on amicable terms?" Isuka tensed with worry as the Commodore looked over the top of the report in her hands.

"Ace…may be a pirate, but I do not believe him to be malicious," Isuka declared cautiously, "He is simply one who doesn't live within the law, not someone who seeks to harm others. If left alone, I truly believe him to be rather harmless."

"Harmless isn't a word that springs to mind easily in regards to a Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates," the Commodore noted with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, certainly he's strong, frightfully so really!" Isuka replied, scrabbling to not make a fool, or worse a sympathizer of herself. She'd managed to avoid that so far in the few years since she'd met the man, but if it was being brought up now by a superior officer… "In a fight he's terrifying! I just meant that he doesn't actively go seeking to cause destruction! With a power like the Flame-flame fruit he could easily burn down anything in his path, but he doesn't, he wouldn't. He's just a goofball looking for a place to call home! I…wish it hadn't been with Whitebeard, but I still stand by what I said. Ace would've made a fine Warlord! If the Vice Admiral Garp agrees then clearly I'm not wrong to think so, right?!"

Isuka was downright scared now, she'd let a lot more slip than she'd intended and now the Commodore was sitting forward, her fingers steepled across her desk as she gave her a steady look. Isuka felt like a mouse staring down a snake and her instincts were screaming for her to draw her weapon. Then the Commodore smirked, "The Vice Admiral Garp might have his opinion skewed a bit by Fire Fist Ace being his grandson."

Isuka's expression went slack as half of her reeled in shock at the revelation and the other half in horror at the implications. The Commodore let her stew in discomfort for a moment and then lifted a hand to still the storm of terror in Isuka's mind, "At ease, you're not in trouble."

Isuka's mind screeched to a halt, "Huh?"

The Commodore smiled, "The Whitebeards are generally harmless unless provoked, that's why the Navy doesn't do more to stomp them out. As long as they stay on their side of the Red Line, the Navy doesn't worry about them. We do however have certain operations in place to keep an eye on them and the other Emperors, along with any other pirates we can keep an eye on. The reason I asked you here today is to see if you'd be interested in assisting in one of those operations. Your connection to Fire Fist Ace is the reason I'm asking."

Isuka felt something like a chunk of ice settle in her gut, "You…want me to spy on Ace?"

The Commodore tilted her head, closed her eyes for a moment and frowned, "Mmm… 'Spy' is such an ugly word…think of it as a chance to gather vital information. The Navy has a question and we think that Fire Fist Ace might have an answer."

Isuka thought for a moment, "What sort of question?"

The Commodore pulled out for Wanted Posters and slid them across the desk to Isuka. Isuka's eyebrows went up as the saw that two were worth a hundred million beris and the other two worth double that. "I've, not heard of these four. What did they do to rise to such infamy so quickly?"

The Commodore tapped the picture of the woman worth two hundred million, "This is the daughter of Kaido. You heard about his rampage a few weeks ago? Her disappearance is what set him off. She resurfaced a few days later in the East Blue. We want to know how."

Isuka took a moment to wrap her mind around that and then nodded, "I see. What does it have to do with Ace though?"

"We learned from Vice Admiral Garp that this man," the Commodore tapped the man worth one hundred million, "Is Ace's adoptive brother Sabo. These four here all earned their bounties in the same incident, although Kaido's daughter and Whitebeard Jr. had their bounties doubled a few days ago due to an incident which according to witnesses, Sabo and Outback were not present for."

"Through Donquixote Doflamingo, who attempted to calm Kaido down," the Commodore continued, "We learned that Ace is also friends with Kaido's daughter. Between that connection and her running with this apparent Whitebeard Jr., we suspect that the Whitebeards, especially Fire Fist Ace, may know something."

"So you want me to ask him?" Isuka reasoned cautiously, "I don't have any way to contact him."

The Commodore nodded, "That's correct and perfectly fine. You'll be accompanying me on my next rendezvous with my contacts, which has been moved up due to recent events, one of whom will be bringing Ace since everyone has drawn the same conclusion. While we're there, you will ask Ace about this Whitebeard Jr. and Kaido's daughter. As long as you do that, whatever else you do with the evening is your own business, if you accept the mission."

Isuka blushed slightly, "Um…I'm…afraid I don't quite understand Commodore? I mean, of course I'll take the mission, this is clearly important, but…I feel like I'm missing something…"

The Commodore laughed lightly, "Yeah, you missed the bit about needing to borrow a cute dress from me. Don't worry, my contacts know to make sure Ace looks his best too."

Isuka's stammering denials as that sunk in a second later were completely undermined by the fact that she was blushing the same color as her hair. The Commodore got to her feet, "Well come on, let's start getting you an outfit picked out, and I'll get on with the briefing."

Isuka's years of military discipline were all that dragged her to her feet, "A-aye Commodore…"

The Commodore smirked over her shoulder, "And Isuka? Call me Ain."

.

…At the Baratie…

.

Reiju sat down in one of the chairs in Zeff's office after pulling a small table over and set the rest of the papers containing Bones' predictions on the table and gently spread them out, "These are the single most important possession I have right now. The intel recorded here has already allowed the wholesale decimation of a pirate crew with a twenty to one numerical superiority. I fully expect them to continue to prove that useful."

"Oh? Something you got from that oracle of yours?" Zeff asked curiously as he and Sanji sat down across from her.

Reiju nodded, "The future and some important bits of the past. Sanji, Bones told me that you had grown up to be a fine man who would never leave a woman in peril and do anything in your power to help. Is that correct?"

"Of course it is!" Sanji and Zeff chorused.

Reiju nodded and exhaled before flipping through the pages to find the one she was looking for. She looked Sanji square in the eye, "You can not tell Nami you know about this. Bones said you've got some kind of latent fire abilities tied to your emotional state. You burn this page and I'll bury my foot so far up your ass you'll taste the boot leather."

Sanji blinked and then nodded, "I don't know about fire abilities, but I'll certainly be careful." He immediately took out his cigarette and stubbed it out in the ash tray before reading.

.

…

.

Sanji,

I hope this letter's finding you well. If so, then it means my directions were correct and Reiju has found her way to you. I sincerely hope your reunion is a happy one and in the event you two wish to depart from the course of events I've foreseen, I wish you both nothing but the best. If you are a real man though, then I am certain that after reading this you will be heading for the Conomi Islands with shark fin soup on the brain.

The young lady accompanying the Strawhat Pirates, who should be the ones who brought Reiju to you, is as I'm sure you've already learned, named Nami. Somewhere between strawberry blonde and red hair, beautiful, brilliant navigator, meteorologist, thief and accountant, I'm sure you've made her acquaintance by now if you're reading this.

NAMI IS IN GRAVE DANGER.

Her hometown, Cocoyashi Village in the Conomi Islands was invaded by the Arlong Pirates something around ten years ago, and has been subject to a tyrannical occupation ever since. The people are taxed 50,000 beris a year for every child and 100,000 for every adult. If they do not or cannot pay, they are executed.

The first collection was the day the Arlong Pirates invaded, and at the time, Nami's mother only had 100,000 beris. Nami and her sister Nojiko's lives were bought with that 100,000 beris, but their mother was murdered right in front of them. Afterwards, Arlong's henchmen found one of Nami's maps and forcibly recruited her into their crew.

Arlong struck Nami a deal to keep her working for him, 100,000,000 beris and she could buy her village's freedom. ARLONG WILL NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN.

He has Marine Captain Nezumi on his payroll to keep his activities quiet. Since Nami is carrying the last of the 100,000,000 beris needed to save her village with her now, Nezumi will very soon lead his men to raid Nami and her sister's farm, ransack the entire place and steal every bit of the money Nami has been working her ass off and risking her life to accumulate.

When this happens, the townsfolk, who are aware of what Nami's been doing even though she's tried to keep it secret, will decide that they have no choice remaining except to try one final, poorly armed revolt against the Fishmen. If they do this, they will be slaughtered wholesale, and Nami will likely kill herself out of grief afterwards.

If you wish to save her, go with the Strawhats and show Arlong and his crew what happens to worthless scum who would murder a child's mother right in front of them. You're a seafood specialist, MAKE A BUFFET OUT OF THOSE BOTTOMFEEDERS!

Regarding your new allies:

The captain, Luffy, is an idiot, but he's a virtually UNSTOPPABLE idiot who would upend the entire world without a second thought for his friends. He's also a bottomless pit who eats faster than you can cook. Go on, TRY HIM.

The green haired swordsman Zoro will never treat a woman any different than a man because his first love was also his strongest rival, the one person he could never beat, and her greatest regret prior to her death was that since she was a girl she would never be equal to a man in combat. Zoro told her that was bullshit, they agreed to shoot for the top together, and the very next day… she died, leaving him her sword and her dream of being the world's greatest swordsman. Do NOT bring this up with Zoro, and DO NOT tell him I told you. I shouldn't have told you, but I'm hoping to keep you two from butting heads so much because working together you'll be unstoppable. He is extremely loyal to his friends, but if Nami tries to rile him up, she WILL succeed. You may need to step in if that happens, but I hope that the rest of what I've written in these pages will help you avoid what's written in them.

The long nose, Usopp, is a master sniper. He's a coward, but he's also extremely clever, highly versatile, and surprisingly capable. He may seem like an unreliable wuss, but when it's do or die time, he'll power through and pull off an upset.

Reiju has my notes detailing every threat I have foreseen, the most imminent of which is the remnants of the Krieg Pirate Armada who are currently starving following a disastrous excursion into the Grand Line. Gin will lead them to the Baratie to save his crews' lives. Once they are fed, Don Krieg will order them to storm and steal the Baratie to begin rebuilding his fleet. Gin is nothing like above taking hostages, make sure Chef Zeff doesn't lose track of him should this battle occur. He is strong and skilled enough to fight you and wields a pair of heavily weighted steel tonfas. From what I've seen of Reiju though, she'll probably just put a bullet in Krieg's eye the instant he starts making threats and head this whole thing off quite promptly.

Make sure you don't leave too soon, Hawkeye Mihawk is hot on the Krieg Pirates' trail, Zoro will need to fight him. He'll lose, badly, but for the sake of his dream he needs to take this step and get the measure of the World's Greatest Swordsman. If you're already not getting along with him, then don't do it for him, do it for the little girl whose dream he's trying to fulfill.

If you need any further motivation to join, I'm sure you don't but here's the icing on the cake: the Strawhats' path will lead them to Fishman Island, home of mermaids and more importantly the MERMAID PRINCESS Shirahoshi who is every bit as beautiful as you've dreamed of. There is also an extremely high chance that their path will lead to the Kingdom of Dressrosa, where the beautiful princess Viola lives. She possesses the power to read minds and will find herself quite taken with a man as honest as yourself. See attached sketches for what she and Princess Shirahoshi look like. It will be worth every bit of hardship you encounter on the way because my crappy drawing CANNOT do those two justice.

.

…

.

Sanji read the letter, read it again. He took a deep breath and looked up at Reiju, "You say this guy's been on the money about everything so far?"

Reiju nodded, "Everything. The only things that went different were the things he or I made go differently. I guess you want the pictures now?"

Sanji nodded, "I'm convinced. If what he's written about what happened to Nami is true, then there's no way I can just sit here. I can tell you wouldn't be content to either even if I could, so yeah, I'm in. Chalk another one up for this oracle of yours, he knew exactly what to say. I would still like to see those pictures though."

Reiju breathed a little sigh of relief at the confirmation of Sanji's still inherently good nature and handed over the page with pictures of the two princesses, "I can't vouch for the mermaid princess, but I've met Viola and she does look like that. Better in person of course, although judging from your expression Bones's rendering is good enough."

Sanji's eyes had turned into pulsing pink hearts and were fairly glued to the two beauties on the page before him. Bones may not have thought much of his artistic abilities, but he had managed to do a fine job of crafting likenesses of the women in question.

Zeff snorted with a small nod as he looked over Sanji's shoulder, Bones's account of the Strawhats' time at the Baratie in his hands, "Remember to use protection Eggplant. When you get done ogling those two, go pack. I'll consider this your two week's notice. Give that saw faced bastard a few good kicks for me."

Sanji looked up to reflexively snap at the older chef and then bit his tongue and just nodded.

Unnoticed by either of them, the last little bits of worry about how Sanji had turned out fell off Reiju's shoulders like water off a duck's back. If she'd had even slightly worse self control, she wondered if she might have actually teared up a bit at the confirmation that her baby brother had turned out alright after all.

.

…Elsewhere…

.

Bones snapped awake as the big comfy pillow he was laying on jerked beneath him. Rising to his hands and knees immediately, he realized that it was not a pillow, it was Yamato, who was looking at him on the verge of utter panic. She was also, he noticed, wearing an extremely fetching white dress with the fabric open to the bottom of her breasts and thin enough that it left little about them to the imagination before clinging just as snugly to her waist. She was also wearing white gloves that covered her arms nearly to her shoulders. Her hair was down and with the breathless blush on her face…

Fuck she's beautiful… Then Bones noticed the wispy thin white fabric just barely visible splayed out behind her head. …wait a minute…is that a wedding dress? What did… Then the events of the past few days came back to him, Oh yeah! Well at least that explains the dress! But why does she look so freaked out? Surely she wasn't THAT drunk…

Bones sat up on his heels and looked down, only now noticing his distinct lack of pants and the fact that he was situated quite evenly between Yamato's nicely stockinged legs, "Ah. I see your concern."

"MY CONCERN?!" Yamato demanded, "BONES WHAT THE HELL DID WE DO?!"

Huh, she WAS that drunk, Bones mused to himself before answering, "We went on a week long bender. We went to the beach where we sat, drank and made merry beneath the early summer sun. We realized we'd had our boat stolen with all our belongings still on it when we saw it headed for the horizon. After that, we had to go get clothes so we wouldn't be reclaiming our boat and belongings in our bathing suits and the only store open was a wedding tailor. After that, we went and got our boat back. We broke an entire island, decimated a pirate armada that got in our way, and did it all while looking utterly fabulous in the process," Bones explained, "And yes, I stopped drinking two days in when I realized we'd been robbed. I honestly thought you had sobered up a few days ago too."

"S-so, while I was drunk…you were sober…and, and we…" Yamato's face went pale at the implications.

"We still have our underwear on Yama-chan," Bones declared firmly with a raised hand. Yamato's impending panic attack pulled up short and Bones nodded, "I stopped drinking expressly so that I wouldn't wind up making love to you while we were drunk."

"Wha-…?! Why?! Am I not good enough for you or something?!"

Bones suddenly surged forward to place his eyes only a few inches from hers, "Do. Not. Put words. In my mouth."

He drew back slightly and smiled, "I didn't want our first time to be one we wouldn't remember. If we do wind up making love, I want us both to be sober while we do so that we'll be able to remember every second of it, and don't you ever think, not even for one second, that I wouldn't gleefully make love to you at the drop of a hat."

Yamato found her breath coming very short and fast with her heart hammering all of a sudden, "…why?"

Bones sat back on his heels again, "Why? Why not? You're pretty freakin' amazing Yama-chan. Seriously, do you have any idea how attractive you are? I think anybody with a pulse would be attracted to you, and even at least one guy without a pulse."

"But…but I'm a man, aren't men not supposed to be attracted to each other?!" Yamato protested.

Bones smiled, "Yes, you choose to identify as male, but you still have this utterly magnificent body and as I said, I think anybody regardless of their leanings would be attracted to you. If you wanted to, you could out-macho entire countries worth of men, and I seriously doubt any woman you decided to seduce would be able to resist your charms. That said, even if there were some law that said I wasn't supposed to be attracted to you, I'm a pirate and I don't give a damn."

He snorted lightly, "And for a guy…" He gently rested his hands on Yamato's knees and leaned forward as he trailed them up her thighs, "Do you even realize how long and perfect these legs are?" Yamato tried to ignore the sparks racing along up her legs ahead of his fingertips to drench the spot between her legs as Bones' hands reached her hips, "I got a look at your utterly perfect ass while you were wearing a swimsuit…I think there's not a man alive who wouldn't want to bury his face in it or have it in his lap."

On up his hands went, thumbs sliding across her abdomen as his fingers tickled across her ribs, "These abs, forget grating cheese on them, I could grate apples, and that has nothing to do with your nearly indestructible hide." He suddenly leaned forward and planted his face right between her breasts, and between the shock of his boldness and the feeling of his breath on her skin in the plunging neckline of her dress, Yamato had to acknowledge that she was getting very turned on as Bones chuckled, "Marvelous, just simply utterly perfect! So big, so perky! Soooft…" He groaned as he playfully laid the side of his head into the side of her breast and sent a fresh wave of moisture downhill with a chuckle.

He picked himself up and gently took her hands in his, "Do you have any idea how nice your hugs are? You are amazing at giving hugs." He pulled himself up a little further until his face was scant inches from hers, "Do you seriously not understand how beautiful you are? It's not the standard glamorous beauty like Boa Hancock, or that playfully naughty vibe Reiju has, but you're just as beautiful as either of them, and this sheer raw physicality that comes off you…" He actually growled ever so slightly, and Yamato's pulse and by now utterly neon blush somehow picked up even further, "It's appropriate that you're a Zoan type, because good god you wake up every animal instinct I have…and you're not even trying! Do you have any idea…" he asked as he drew in even closer until their lips were almost touching, "…how much I want to kiss you?"

Before his words could finish registering and Yamato's brain could make the connection to lunge forward and kiss him herself, Bones drew back until he was sitting up just like he'd been when he started. Yamato felt her blush fade as she realized how close she'd just come to giving in to urges she'd never even realized she had before. Bones let out a long slow exhale, "That's how I feel on a physical level anyway. The…other half of it…" Yamato blinked a few times to make sure her eyes weren't deceiving her. Yes, now he was blushing instead as he explained, "That's…that's where I get nervous."

"I…know while we were drinking I told you about my one disastrous crush," he admitted, "Were you…sober enough to remember?"

Yamato nodded, not quite trusting herself with words and not knowing which would be even good words at this point. Bones took a breath, "Then, you know what a coward I am, at least when it comes to intimacy and relationships. I'm…still baffled by how forward I was with Reiju, and what I did just now, all those things I said…"

His blush returned in force and he suddenly couldn't meet her gaze, "Oh gods, if anyone else had heard me I think I'd crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment. I meant every word, but that just makes it scarier for me because I've never been that open about my feelings with anyone since…well ya know. With you though…I'm, I'm not afraid at all."

Then the blush vanished and his nervous, thoughtful expression suddenly morphed into a slightly annoyed sort of pondering as he added, "…which is bloody weird honestly because normally I'd be too terrified of damaging our friendship to ever consider for even a moment admitting all this." He glanced off to the side and continued, "Maybe I'm…" he shook his head, "I don't know."

Yamato felt a very faint tingle of alarm as the nervous but sweet honesty seemed to vanish beneath a wall of cynicism and frustration. Even Bones' voice seemed to have changed as he reburied his vulnerable side. Then even the frustration vanished as his face twisted into a little smirk, "Anyway, that's how I fee-?! Yama-chan?"

Yamato sat up, his cheeks still clapped between her hands as she looked him right in the eye, "Hey. What happened to not being afraid?"

Bones blinked and then started trembling. The confidence vanished. The cynicism and frustration beneath it vanished. Yamato didn't even have to be in her wolf form to smell the outright terror suddenly come broiling out of him as his face turned utterly crimson in the midst of a stream of incoherent babbling that couldn't even be sorted into words. She could tell his eyes wanted to look anywhere but into hers from how they kept twitching, but they never left hers even as his babbling trailed off into a helpless sounding little, "Huh?"

Yamato smiled softly and found herself extremely aware of how her best friend's panicked distress suddenly settled from a whirlwind of fear to a complete halt. He was still terrified, but he wasn't panicking. He looked like he was drowning and had just been thrown a life preserver.

Then a thought occurred to her and her smile spread into an excited grin. Bones raised both eyebrows and followed her hand as it left his cheek. He tilted his head in slightly confusion as Yamato knocked his hat from the hook he'd hung it on and let it drop to the floor, and she could all but see the little question mark over his head.

Then she leaned over to whisper in his ear, "What was that you wanted to do at the drop of a hat?" Bones' earlier blush was nothing compared to the fire engine red tone his face suddenly took on as Yamato pointed out, "Hat's on the floor." Bones's heart stopped in its tracks as he turned back to her and found her smiling, "Because I feel the same way, and I…am all…sobered…up."

No more words were said, no more words were needed, although there were three which would've been fitting, as the luckiest man in the East Blue proceeded to make good on his word to the runaway Princess of Onigashima.