Title: Up close and personal with Sev. Snape

Authoress: Lady Domino

Rating: M

Summary: Snape started keeping a diary about the time he first went over to Lord Voldemort. Lord Voldemort may have been destroyed by baby Harry, but Snape's still got his own problems to worry about.

Warnings: Slash.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, they belong to J. K. Rowling. Sigh.

A/N – Thank you so much to those few who reviewed (jumps up and down, hands out hugs etc). As for the rest of you (sniffle). Anyways, here is chapter 4. I'm not sure whether to continue this through the years Harry is at Hogwarts or not. Please could I have some feedback if you want it to go on.

I, Severus Snape, do hereby swear in this diary to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Day 21

Still waiting for Black to finish grieving and move on. Have heard he gave up his motorbike to idiot giant Hagrid. Fear for Black's sanity.

Wrist looks perfect! And v. gorgeous. Not sure about tattoo though. Believe it makes a statement. Something like 'I support a dead idiot'. Must investigate possibility of having it lasered away.

Wore boots and black dress all afternoon to celebrate perfectness of wrist. Have fallen in love with purple ribbons. Will now wear them on everything, including robes, hats and shoes. Not socks. Still hate socks.

Other Deatheaters will not accept reality and move on. Half want to bring Voldemort back. Went to talk to Lucius about it. Lucius said 'Who's Voldemort?' Feel he is in denial.

Day 22

Lucius has switched to Dumbledore's side. Says he was all confused. Copycat – I switched first! Bellatrix threatening to kill anyone else who leaves. Has started styling herself as 'Dark Lady'. Talked to Rudolphus. Yup, she's still not sleeping with him. Am getting worried – can not imagine why she is still fuming. Have had to beat her off wardrobe three times already. Do not know how Rudolphus can bear living with her.

Must remember to move House Elf porn.

On plus side: Black appeared in newspapers today! Have cut out smouldering pic of him looking all swoonful and sad and sorrowful and pasted it in scrapbook. Then read article. Black threatening to 'murder the sneak' and 'not rest until friends are avenged'. Feel he may need a few more days before I make my move.

Now I am sad and sorrowful.

Day 23

Ye gods! Big horror and much fear. Bellatrix blasted open wardrobe whilst was in loo. Came back to find her in room with scary smile on face.

Bellatrix: 'You will die a slow horrible death.'

Me (innocently/ bravely/ heroically): 'Why?'

Bellatrix: 'You will die a slow horrible death.'

Me: 'Maybe we can reason this out?'

Bellatrix: 'You will die…'

Me: runs for hills.

Am v. confused.

Did not know Bellatrix objected so much to House Elf porn. Think this has something to do with her being deranged. Should have spoken more emphatically about Euthanasia to Rudolphus.

Have asked Dumbledore to hide me from v. scary lady. Have been sent to live with Longbottoms and squidgely baby son.

Already loathe son. Too noisy, too demanding, too smelly, too clingy, too wet.

Am miserable. Have left black dress with purple ribbons behind. Will never see it again. Am consoling self with thoughts of Black. Just a few more days.

Day 24

Woken up four times in night by squalling brat. Will murder son as soon as possible. Most merciful thing to do to a kid cursed with the surname Longbottom.

Asked Mr Longbottom what he does. Was told 'am auror'. Must get freaky, dangerous tattoo lasered away as soon as poss. Will only cause me trouble. Am wearing long sleeves at mo.

Have searched whole house for House Elf porn. Found none. However, Longbottoms have real live house elf! Can not wait to be left alone in house with him.

Day 25

Heard Bellatrix is still searching for me. Has trashed my room and my house. Feel she is overreacting a little. House Elf porn isn't even that exciting any more.

Still missing black dress. Took first opportunity to go through Mrs Longbottom's wardrobe. Nothing interesting like in Bellatrix's. If ever looking for a girlfriend will definitely choose ex-Deatheater. In fact, prefer Deatheater dress sense over auror dress sense a thousand times. Was unprepared for Mrs Longbottom's cardigan collection. Am still recovering.

Still, am absolutely safe. Scary Bellatrix will never find me here.

Day 25

Curses. Day not going as planned. Decided to kidnap baby Longbottom, paint lightning scar on forehead and sell over wizardly e-bay for millions. Had just fed baby Longbottom sleeping potion and put him in sack when door flew open. Bellatrix in doorway looking even crazier than usual. Had Rudolphus and some kid in tow.

Longbottoms put up brave fight but were then overwhelmed. Left house as soon as possible. Am saving their son – what more do they want?

Don't know what to do with baby Longbottom. Will perhaps hold him for a while days then ransom him back to loving, distraught parents.

Am hiding out at Granny Longbottom's place. Have mentioned to Dumbledore he might consider sending some aurors over to Longbottoms. Will probs. receive medal for saving their lives.

Day 26

Foiled again. Have received report from Dumbledore – Longbottoms alive but madder than hatters due to extensive torture. Seems Bellatrix was looking for someone. Can not imagine who. Nationwide womanhunt for Bellatrix begun. Hope she will be caught soon as fear she may not have forgotten the House Elf porn yet.

On minus side am stuck with baby Longbottom. Parents in no fit state to take him back. Don't want him. Considering drowning him in pond.

Missing black dress v. much. Not brave enough to look in Granny Longbottom's wardrobe. Also wrist is acting up again. Left salve at other Longbottom house. Do not like ooziness. Will ask Dumbledore for more salve.

Day 27

Have offloaded baby Longbottom on Granny Longbottom. Am venturing out for first time in days to buy paper.

Totally devastating news. Am off to commit suicide.

Decided against suicide. Have drunk whole bottle of firewhisky instead. World still a crappy place.

World a crappy place which spins.

Am sobering up. Suicide urge returning.

Reread newspaper. Cried.

I hate Black.

I love Black. I hate the ministry.

They are putting him in prison.

Azkaban prison.

Just for blowing up 13 people.

Have killed more than that. Was not sent to Azkaban. Why special treatment for Black?

Can not Apparate to Azkaban.

Will never see Black again.

Nothing to do but start teaching at Hogwarts.

No longer interested in students.

Realise now Black was only one for me.

Need more firewhisky.

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