Julian's Warning

In Potions, Roy and Patricia had just tried together to brew the Draught of Living Death, but – unusually for them both – they failed at it, for they had more eyes for each other than for their potion.

When they presented their dark brown broth to Whiteman, who had followed their flirting with a grim expression, they provoked his sarcasm:

"Miss Higrave, Mr MacAllister! I don't know what you've brewed here, but if it happens to be a potion neutralising certain hormones, I strongly recommend you both to drink it."

The class, consisting of students from all houses, laughed out loud, and even the two addressed smiled, though slightly embarrassed. The sizzling between Roy and Patricia was the top topic of schoolyard gossip, and the bets that were made no longer were on whether, but when they would get together.

When the lesson was over, Roy wanted to wait for Patricia who had something to discuss with Whiteman, but Julian gently urged him out of the classroom.

"Tell me," Julian asked when they were strolling towards the Great Hall for lunch, "don't you think you're vastly overdoing your flirting with Patricia?"

Roy stopped dead, looked at his friend with his mouth open and needed a moment to reply: "Don't you think you of all people are exactly the wrong man to give me moral sermons?"

"For that I would be the wrong man," Julian agreed calmly, "but I'm the only one who dares to kick you in the ass to protect you from your own stupidity."

"Stupidity?" asked Roy indignantly.

"Intellectually, you're the most intelligent person I know," Julian said softly, "but emotionally, you're probably the biggest idiot on the planet."

"Sorry?" Roy looked offended – but Julian was one of the few people who were allowed to talk to him like that.

"Well, how would you call someone who lets the two birds in his hand fly away to reach out for the one in the bush?"

"Patty isn't sitting in the bush," Roy replied indignantly.

"For what you want and need, that's exactly what she's doing – I understand that it is flattering and delightful to have the most beautiful girl in school making eyes at you ..."

"She is not only beautiful, she has a sound character, too!" Roy shouted angrily. "Or don't you remember how she went out on a limb for all of us when ..."

"I do," Julian cut him off, "and yes, she has shown more character than any of us would have expected. There was just a reason why we didn't expect her to do so. Patty is a person to whom it is important to meet the school's and her family's expectations, to be socially respected and so on. She's simply a conformist. The fact that she has managed to jump over her own shadow once doesn't mean that she wants to or will do so for her entire life. The man she will end up with at some point won't be you."

"Why not?"

"If only because the Higrave family will hardly accept a Muggle-born son-in-law. To have at least a small chance, you'd have to come from the Muggle aristocracy – or at least be an ambitious, smooth, low-profile careerist like the Higraves themselves are. But you are a non-conformist pigheaded free spirit. That's not what they want. Believe me, these pureblood establishment families have a fantastic instinct for who fits in and who doesn't."

"Son-in-law ..." muttered Roy, frowning. "Don't you think you're anticipating too much? Hey? I'm sixteen, I don't need to find the woman of my life so early!"

"You do. I needn't, but you must."

"Why?" Roy sounded annoyed.

"Because you are who you are," Julian replied. "You take life, and especially your relationships with other people, incredibly seriously. Who but you, for example, would have promised Ginny Potter to protect her son with his own life? And I know you mean what you say and stand by your promise! This is no fault at all, quite the opposite! But it means that you are not, like me, the kind of guy who can change his girlfriend every two months. Basically, you can't change her at all. You find it tremendously difficult to trust and commit to someone, but once you do, you won't let her go. That's why you mustn't look for a girlfriend who will drop you one day. It would destroy you."

They had stopped at a window overlooking the Quidditch pitch. Roy stared out of the window. "And you think Patricia would drop me?"

"She is no bad person, please don't misunderstand me. But she wouldn't be happy with you and neither would you with her. You are as different as two people can be. Sure," Julian admitted, "it's appealing in the short term. There is something to the saying that opposites attract. I am not surprised that such a well-adjusted girl like her is fascinated by a rebellious guy like you. But this kind of attraction is superficial and fades quickly. Sooner or later, Patricia will leave you, and your soul, my friend, is far too fragile to survive such a disappointment without harm."

"My soul is fragile?" asked Roy, puzzled and slightly piqued.

"Oh dear," Julian sighed, "you really don't know yourself at all! You are much more vulnerable than you admit and want to believe. What you need is a girl who is like you and has just the same deep longings and fears that you have, and who, above all, loves you more than anyone and anything else. And this girl is right under your nose!"

Julian now moved close to Roy and spoke softly and insistently: "Should you ever get to Azkaban – and that's where you have the best chance of ending up – Patricia wouldn't even visit you there. Arabella, in contrast, would not only visit you, she would let herself be locked in there if it meant she could spare it you! And you are stamping on her feelings like a rabid rhinoceros ..."

"I don't stamp on her feelings. In Arabella's presence, I don't flirt with Patty! But she dropped Potions, didn't she?"

"Oh, and you think she doesn't mind that the whole school is talking about you and Patty? Of course, you trample upon her feelings, even though you feel at least as much for her as she does for you. And certainly more than for Patricia!"

"How can you know that?", Roy snapped back.

"Only a blind could overlook the magnetic attraction between you and Arabella. But since last week I have the final proof. I watched you closely when Whiteman showed us the Amortentia potion. This potion smells different for every person – always according to what they are longing for the most. And that very lesson was the only Potions lesson in which you didn't flirt with Patricia!"

Roy stared out of the window again. Julian persisted:

"The potion didn't smell like Patricia, did it?"

"That's right," Roy growled.

"But like?"

"Let's go."

They continued their way in silence. Just before the Great Hall, Roy stopped once more. He looked down at the floor when he said: "It's not so easy with Arabella. I don't know ..."

Julian groaned. "You are not only the most intelligent, but unfortunately also by far the most complicated man I know. From Arabella you would get everything you long for, exactly the deep bond that suits your nature, but you are afraid of really getting it, and that's why you're running away from her! This flirting with Patricia is an escape! Right?"

Without answering Julian's question, Roy asked back: "Why are you telling me all this?"

"I don't want you to become, one day, one of those sad figures who, at fifty, wonder what they should have done at fifteen or sixteen. Be glad you have a friend to tell you now."

Roy stared ahead. Then he said abruptly:

"That's what I am. Let's have lunch."

In the Great Hall, Whiteman's bon mot had apparently made the rounds in no time at all, and Roy was welcomed by countless grinning faces, but hardly noticed them. He sat down and thoughtfully loaded two chicken legs and a huge portion of rice onto his plate. When he raised his eyes, he looked into Arabella's sad eyes, for she was sitting just a few seats opposite and looked at him unblinkingly.

He quickly lowered his gaze.