Disclaimer: &if I have to put this on every chapter I'm going to knock myself out with a meatloaf. So here it is. Enjoy it.
I do not own Pokémon. Apart from the money it generates, I would not want to own Pokémon. I do, however, want to own a Pokémon. Not that I wouldn't want to own many Pokémon but hey, I don't. So, here it is once more, I do not own Pokémon. Both in the generic and specific sense. I do not own any Pokémon, either. If you want to own a Pokémon don't speak to me, because you very likely are too young to remember the Black Plague. Not that I remember the Black Plague, but I refuse to talk to anyone who doesn't. That includes me. Oh lookie, I'm ranting.
Oh and an Author's Note here… I've decided to name the towns and cities after Elements. Not Fire, Water and Electric or anything, but… well. Yeah.
After Ash finally learnt how to open and close a Pokéball, he stepped out once more with his trusty Ultra Ball. This time he waited for the door to open.
It was already getting light, which was good, since it gave the writer an opportunity to describe the surroundings; oh, and also because Ash could actually see what he was catching.
Palladium City was one of those generic city types with a Pokémon Center, a Pokémon Research Lab, and a Pokémon Mart. Like many other cities, it had probably been created with the intention of breaking the monotony of the average Pokémon trainer's trip through the inexplicably dense forests on either side. Not that it wasn't scenic, though; in its own way it probably was. The houses were neatly arranged in a pattern that some might call unnatural, but added to the charm of the place. Trees which looked suspiciously foreign grew from more than one lawn, while others held ponds which contained a plethora of multi-coloured life; from Magikarp to Lotad, the yards of Palladium City were like a veritable menagerie of wildlife.
Ash knew, though, that he wasn't allowed to catch any of those Pokémon. If he'd tried he'd probably have been arrested. Instinctively he stepped out of the city borders into a patch of tall grass. It cut like elephant grass, and was probably the same height as an elephant, too.
"Why would Pokémon even bother trying to live in this…?"
Trying to force his way through the grass was hard enough; finding a Pokémon while doing it would be downright impossible. Stumbling and thrashing, he finally made his way out of the thick grass, and landed face down in a clearing.
A/N: Now obviously any patch of grass would seem like a clearing to the poor guy.
Dazed, he stood up in time to hear a rustling coming from a slightly tamer patch of grass. Without thinking, he threw the Ultra ball, hoping that it'd somehow catch whatever had caused the disturbance. Unexpectedly, the ball snapped open with a click and captured the grass. Seriously. It was there one second and was red immateria the next. Puzzled, Ash picked the Ultra ball up. Now it would never be able to hold another Pokémon, that much he knew.
For all he knew, his starter Pokémon was now a blade of grass.
Back at the Laboratory, Ash told the professor what had happened. What really puzzled the professor was the fact that he'd failed to spot the multitudes of Pidgey and Rattata which lived in those very fields. He was hardly listening as Ash placed the Ultra ball on the table. Finally losing interest in the back of his eyelids, Goldenrain opened his eyes in time to see exactly what Ash had caught.
"Erm Ash… that's a potato."
Which was funny in itself, because potatoes didn't grow where a trainer could catch them. They grew underground, so unless Ash had somehow…
"Professor Goldenrain… the potato has eyes." One of his less astute assistants (He'd hidden under a lampshade during the earlier episode) pointed out.
He was ready to dismiss the obvious remark when he realized that the assistant was right. The potato did have eyes. No eye which buds may have grown out of; that was the only inconsistency. The only eyes on the potato were beady and black…
Ash himself was more than surprised. That is, he was very surprised. How had a blade of grass turned into a potato…? The only way, of course, was if…
"Mew!"
"Ditto!"
Both professor and trainer blurted out the two names before either had time to register what the other was saying. As always, both had different ideas as to what the other was saying.
The professor started first.
"It can't be a Mew. In the first place, why would a Mew appear in Palladium City, of all the strange coincidences…? In the second, the eyes are definitely those of a—"
Ash shook his head. "Eh… wait a moment. I thought you thought it was a Mew as well?"
"What? I said nothing of the sort… why would you think I thought that your thought was— wait a minute…"
A/N: Thank the Author for that break in his speech; the 'you thought I thought' banter gets a tad boring. Let's fast-forward a bit.
"In case you haven't realized yet, I was talking about the Pokémon Ditto. Not that I would ever agree to your preposterous idea."
But what was a Ditto doing there…? I've never even seen one…
It was at that point in time that the potato turned back into a small pink blob. He sighed.
Guess the Professor was right after all. Why don't I ever get that kind of luck…?
It was then he noticed that the Professor had gone back to sleeping. He checked his watch; it was five. Just as well.
Picking up the Ditto and the PokéNav every trainer got at their initiation, he turned to leave. A few seconds later he put the Ditto back into its Pokéball, and then left the building. It would be years before the stains would fully disappear from his shirt…
The instant he got home, he knew something was wrong. Call it instinct, call it a sixth sense, call it the giant Gyarados that had emerged from the side of the house.
I knew they should never have tried to cook it. Not that I enjoy Magikarp anyway. Hardly any meat at all.
He rushed into the house just in time. His parents undoubtedly had their own Pokémon, but for some strange reason they hadn't bothered to use them. His mother beamed at him as he returned.
"Look at the appetizer! Isn't it magnificent?"
He shrugged; he wasn't sure what if he'd call it magnificent… but it did have a certain air of majesty, even as it flopped about uselessly, half-in and half-out of the house.
"Well, go ahead! Show us what Pokémon you got!"
It was then that he realized his parents had left the creature to destroy the house just so they might witness his first Pokémon battle. If he had been a die-hard Pokémon battler, he might've been moved to tears. If he'd thought a little deeper, he might've laughed. As it was, he didn't have to do anything. The PokéNav woke.
… Processing… Trainer ID #900817… Pokémon team confirmed… Name: As – What are you doing in a battle with a Gyarados! Calculated chances of winning are ZILCH! ZERO! NIL! KAPUT!
Obviously it was more than a tad temperamental.
"Err… go, Ditto?"
He threw the Pokéball at the creature. Unfortunately he hadn't as yet mastered the releasing of the Pokémon; he'd ended up hitting the Gyarados. Since the little button positioned in the center of the Pokéball had remained untouched, though, the little creature inside remained inside.
Sighing, he picked up the Ultra ball and pressed the tiny little button to open the Pokéball. Just in time, he turned the ball away from himself so the Ditto didn't splatter all over him. Like all proper parents, they oohed and ahhed as their child's first Pokémon ("A Ditto!" they exclaimed delightedly) made its debut appearance.
"Now attack it, son!"
Throwing all caution to the wind, he randomly called an attack.
"Tackle, Ditto!"
Oh for heaven's sake –
Ditto slammed straight into the Gyarados, doing minimal damage due to its squishy body.
"Er… Swords Dance?"
Ditto hopped around, wondering if this was meant to achieve anything.
Ash! Just listen for a second! The only attack Ditto is meant to use is Transfrom!
"Transfrom…?"
Oops typo. Transform. Just… use it.
"Fine. Ditto, Transfrom!"
Transform!
"Sheesh. Got it."
A/N: And here I am at the end of the second chapter. Just how many Gyarados can Ash's house fit? Stay tuned for more! Oh and remember to R&R. Fine. So you've read. Just review, then.