Disclaimer: I'm broke. I've no originality. I do not own Pokémon.

Two seconds after using the attack, Ash wasn't sure it was such a good idea. After all, his house wasn't typically meant to house two Gyarados; heck, he didn't know anyone whose house was.

The first thing he noticed, though, was that his Gyarados wasn't quite the right colour. Not exactly what every other trainer would have on his mind at such a time, but it was something.

"Eh… Ditto… I'm thinking Gyarados aren't meant to be red and white."

"Eh? Sorrieee… being cooped up in a Pokéball too long does that to me."

Not that Ash actually understood though. However, the two Gyarados were now blue, and that was that. Flipping his PokéNav open, he aimed its receiver at the Gyarados and pressed A.

Analyzing… okay wait maybe I was wrong. You do have a chance of beating this guy.

His parents cheered. He slapped his forehead. Ditto-Gyarados tried to catch its own tail.

"Ditto! Use Bite!"

Ditto tried, ineffectually, to bite down on the enemy Gyarados.

Hey…? It doesn't look like this Gyarados' jaws are adequately developed for biting yet…

Checking his PokéNav, he checked the Moves Database for Ditto-Gyarados.

Splash 5/40

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"What…?"

Like I was going to say… since the Magikarp was evolved at an accelerated mode by being put in the cooker, it stands to reason it doesn't have enough experience to learn any skills yet.

"Fine… Ditto, Splash."

Ditto thrashed around helplessly, damaging nothing but its dignity. It was a mercy that the Gyarados could do naught but the same.

Now what…?

Resignedly, he continued using his only attack.

"Ditto, Splash…"

"Ditto, use Splash…"

"Ditto… just…"

A few Splashes later, though, he realized something had changed in Ditto. The Gyarados was still splashing around energetically, but his Ditto was entirely worn out. A red LED light blinked on his PokéNav. Opening it, he saw the following message:

Splash 0/40

"What happens now…?"

Try getting it to Splash again.

"Again…? Ooh… it can't be serious, Dit…"

"Ditto, use Splash!"

"Ahhh…!"

Tired to the point of collapse, Ditto made a last-ditch effort to use Splash. Instead, it used Struggle.

"What?"

This time, his PokéNav's usual voice was replaced by a completely automated one.

Struggle. This attack is only used by Pokémon with no other recourse. Does minimal damage, while hurting itself.

"That's better. Why'd I have to listen to that stupid voice before?"

Because that was my real voice. I'm just tired of answering your questions.

"Ahh… Ditto use Struggle!"

"What…! Ahh… if I must, I must."

Ditto twisted its body around, flailing madly. Catching the Gyarados under his chin, it sent him flying… and landing neatly in a heap beside the pond.

"Hey I think that did it! Nice work, Ditto."

Exhausted, Ditto de-transformed into a pink blob again.

"You'd better let me have a big rest after this, or I'll never forgive you, Ditto."

"Fine. You'll get your rest after… hey? Where's my Ultra Ball?"

Immediately everyone was down on the floor, searching for the ball. Two minutes later, they found it. Only it wasn't quite the same ball. It had been a marvel of technological circuitry and space-time compression. Now it was quite the same thing, only squashed.

"Well… fine. Ditto, just go up to my room and get some rest. I'll call you when it's time for breakfast."

Ditto slowly slid up the stairs, almost too tired to move. He followed it up and pointed the room out, then watched in amazement as it slipped through the keyhole. Shaking his head, he walked down to help his parents as they pushed the Gyarados back into the pond.

"You know what? I think I'll just head down to the Pokémon Mart to buy us some breakfast."

"Not a bad idea… I'll just give you some petty cash…" sheepishly, his father took out his wallet and thumbed through the notes carefully.

Two minutes later, he had 10,000 yen in his pocket, and was ready to set off. Though it was true, he didn't have Ditto with him, and it was a Pokémon Mart, and of course the shop didn't open until eight… but who could get in Ash's way?

The Pokémon Mart was more of a convenience store; it was one of those generic stores that spring up wherever a city is. It specialized in every thing Pokémon; from Pokéballs and the basic Pokégear to other, more esoteric things, like Tauros jerky and Mantine fillet. Mantines were delicious; the only drawback being their expensive prices.

Ash stepped into the PokéMart, feeling the warm air conditioning wash in waves over his skin. It had helped that he'd waited an hour before trying to enter; he doubted Officer Jenny would be very pleased if he'd tried to force his way in. He wasn't that stupid. The receptionist wasn't there yet; it looked as though he was the first customer for the day. Stepping towards the lift, he fingered the directory while he waited.

5F: Roof Access

4F: Trainer Supplies

3F: Pharmacy

2F: Poké Takeaway

He could just have walked up to the second floor, but of course he had some other things on his mind, too. After stopping off on the second floor to buy the usual (A Miltank brisket, some rice balls and a vegetable soup), he hesitated. His pockets jingled with the sound of loose change; 3700 yen of it, to be precise. Deciding, he stepped into the lift and pressed the button marked with a tiny '4'.

I'm allowed to look, aren't I?

'Ding-dong'

The lift doors opened, and Ash entered to see four other trainers standing around the counter. Each of them, he could see, had an Ultra ball under their belt. He supposed the professor had done the same to each of them. They had probably entered a little after he had, but since he'd dallied around the meat section (The Miltanks weren't exactly the freshest he'd seen) they'd probably come up first.

Two boys and two girls. All of them he recognized; though he wasn't on speaking terms with any of them. At the sound of the lift, though, they'd all noticed him..

One of the boys instantly recognized him.

"Aren't you that crazy kid with…?"

Ash nodded, before turning to the shelves and browsing through a selection of Pokéballs.

"What's your starter?" one of the girls called over to him. Instantly there was a fight for voices to be heard as each tried to show their own starter off.

"Mine's a Vulpix! My mother caught me one the last time she was up at Rubidium."

"Well… I got a Rattata…"

"Come on out, Pidgeotto!"

"I just took the Caterpie that was already there."

Eh…

He turned around to face them. They were all around the same age; they all came from the same Pokémon school. It was funny to think how fast time had actually passed. Soon they'd actually be rivals.

"Well, where's your starter Pokémon?"

The other kids were looking at him strangely now.

"Sleeping at home," he shrugged.

"Can't it sleep in its Pokéball?" the girl who asked the question obviously was intent on taking her Pokémon everywhere she went.

I can't because it's crushed.

"Well… it just has a thing about Pokéballs… see…"

But they had already made their purchases and were heading towards the lift.

"Did you see how angry Goldenrain looked this morning…? Looks like he woke up the wrong side of the bed…"

And then they were gone.

Confused, he left as well. The cashier sighed as she watched them go. The boy with the Caterpie had forgotten his change.

A/N: First time he doesn't appear quite so insane. While it's meant to be strange and funny, it's meant to have a plot as well. So I'll try not to spoil it by making him entirely crazy.