A.N Okay so I was dramatic, which is my reason for killing Cole off but I have my reasons for it but he will be back.

Disclaimer I don't own Charmed. You take pleasure in making me say that don't you?

Chapter 15

Cookies and letting him go.

It had been 4 months. Four long, lonely hard months. Obviously she had given birth, and the child she had received from that had lifted so much pain. But it wasn't the same, it was never the same. Cole was gone, she had to accept that, but the burning desire for him to come back never once left her heart. The letter he had written her had been placed tenderly into a box, where precious mementos had also been placed. Pictures, letters, and the ever usual notes they wrote to one another. The demon that killed Cole still hadn't been found, Paige couldn't bring herself to see her boyfriends killer, demon or not. Paige wrapped her arms around her chest, once again she had moved back into the manor. She stood in her son's nursery room, looking out of the window. The sky was grey, there were reports of a storm heading to San Francisco, but she didn't take any notice, the fact that the sky mirrored her mood only made her realise why she was so upset. Her saddened expression spoke volumes to her sisters, she sloped around the house, and only emerged from her room when Ben, her son, needed feeding and she took him downstairs. He had named him after Cole's father in the end, she had grown accustomed to the name, and in some way she thought by naming him after Cole's father it was keeping a part of him close to her. She sighed heavily and dragged her eyes back to her sleeping son, he looked so much like his dad it was scary, he had the same blue eyes, the dark hair not that he had much of it, and the darker skin. Course he had inherited some resemblance to his mother, her nose, her mouth, but Paige never looked at him and saw herself. She always saw Cole. It was as though he had left a piece of himself behind to remind her of him. She padded across and looked down at him, a smile on her lips and a glint in her eyes. Cole would be so proud, heaven knows she was. Life without Ben now would be too scary, too alone. She reached down and stroked her son's cheek carefully and walked out of the room, leaving the door open a crack in case he made the slightest noise. With a heavy sigh she once again walked to her room and sat down, lifting the television remote and turning it on. She heard the rain pounding the window outside and her eyes glanced to the baby monitor at the side of her bed for any signs that her baby would be waking up, but he had inherited his fearless side from his dad as well. Piper walked up the stairs and across the hallway towards Paige's bedroom a plate of cookies in one hand, which also balanced two glasses of milk, with her foot she nudged open the door and walked in. Paige curiously looked up and saw her older sister walk in, she stood up and gave her a weak smile before taking the glasses from the plate and putting them on the bedside cabinet, her eyes caught the cookies then the motherly look on Piper's face,
"Cookies and Milk? Isn't that a bit pre-teen?" she quipped, Piper pretended to be hurt and sat down on the end of her bed,
"It's supposed to be comfort food" She replied, placing the warm plate on her knee and patting the empty mattress beside her "Freshly baked comfort food I might add" Paige let out a sighed laugh and sat down next to her,
"I don't need this" She lied looking down at the plate. For the last few weeks she had been unable to look her sisters or Leo in the face, Piper shook her head in an attempt to move some of her hair out of her face as she looked at her baby sister. She was a wreck, and she knew with some help she would get through this.
"Still it's tasty to eat" Paige shook her head but picked up a cookie anyway, if it was just to keep Piper happy. "Want to talk?" She asked quietly. Paige bit her bottom lip and attempted to force the tears she knew were forming in her eyes,
"Did you hear Ben? I think I did, I need to check on him" Paige quickly tried to get off of the topic and stood up, she felt Pipers warm hand on her arm and without a fight sat back down on the bed, she put the cookie back on the plate and moved her focus back up to Piper,
"You'll feel better" She reassured her, gently moving some hair out of her face so that she could see her better, "Talk to me Paige" She saw Paige's bottom lip quiver, a sign she was upset, as she tried to hold her sadness back
"I need him back Piper. I can't do this without him" She was breathing deeply as she tried to compose herself "I love him so much, I can't let him go, it's too hard" Piper saw the grief stricken pain in Paige's eyes and moved the plate onto the bed, she wrapped her in a hug, she felt Paige's shoulders shake as she cried softly.
"Paige you have me, and Phoebe and Leo, we can help you through this" She felt Paige pull away and look at her,
"But its not the same" She sobbed "You wont be the ones holding me at night, you wont be the ones kissing me or whispering sweet nothings in my ear. You, Phoebe and Leo…Ben, you all mean the world to be, but I can't love you the way I loved Cole, and you can't return that love. I miss him so much Piper, it hurts" Paige rubbed her eyes in an attempt to block away the tears that were perching in her eyes. "I just want to see him, one last time"
"You can't it's too soon, leave it a few more months, you have to get over him" Piper tried to console her but the hard truth was Cole was dead, and there was no going back from it, Paige nodded
"I guess so" She admitted quietly "I just, I miss him so goddamned much" Piper looked up at her, Paige eyes held so much hurt, so much sadness but there was glimpse of hope in them. Like there could be a way that she could get over this.
"Want to come downstairs, I've made dinner?" Paige looked up at her sister and smiled her first genuine smile,
"Cookies and milk before dinner? What's the catch?" she inquired. Piper let out a small laugh before picking up one of the cooled cookies on the plate, Paige followed her lead and also picked one up
"The catch is I want to help my baby sister get over this problem she has" Piper looked at Paige who cocked her head to the side in shear happiness that her sister wanted to help her. "Plus the fact I'm sick of eating dinner before the best part" she added taking a bite out of the cookie and standing up. Paige laughed and took Pipers now outstretched hand, "Just don't tell Leo, he's a fiend for stealing the cookies" Paige's eyes twinkled as she walked out of the bedroom with Piper, with family beside her she knew she would get through the sorrow of losing her one true love.

That night as the lightening storm light up the sky, and the crash of thunder echoed through the city Paige lay awake. Every now and then she would get the baby monitor and hold it close to her heart, listening to her son's steady breaths. Once again she fluffed the pillows behind her and pushed them up against the headboard as she lent back upon them. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep but sighed in frustration when she heard someone whisper her name across the room,
"Not now" She spoke, her eyes still closed "I need sleep before Ben wakes up again". No reply came and Paige opened her eyes, scanning the room but to find nobody there. Bringing the sheets up to her chin as she sat up she took another glance around "Hello?" Her eyes caught a shadow, near her window and in haste she turned on the light at the side. What she saw made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, her blood in her veins run cold and her heart skip more beats than it had ever done before, she wanted to be pleased at the image she saw before her, but instead she was scared that it was real. "Cole?" Sure enough stood before her was Cole. He looked shocked at first and then fear took over,
"You can see me?" Damn what kind of lame ass question was that? Course she could see him otherwise she wouldn't have spoken his name. This wasn't supposed to happen, he was supposed to come back just this time, take one last look at Paige before he finally moved on, she wasn't meant to see him. Paige gathered the sheets together and in one swift movement of her legs she pulled herself up and off of the bed. "Don't be scared" He said,
"Scared?" Paige hissed "I'm not scared of any demon. Shape shifters like you are pathetic. Is this how you get your thrills? Imitating the one person in my life who meant more to me than anything, but is no longer here? God demons are so sick" Her voice was laced with hate, "Get out before I vanquish your sorry ass"
"Paige" Cole tried to speak in a calm manner but it wasn't working. He didn't know how to leave, he was to stay until 12 and then he would go. His eyes darted to the clock which read 11:05. Damn! "Paige it's me Cole, baby please" Paige narrowed her eyes at him,
"I swear to God don't you even think of calling me baby" She spat "You can't have me. Or my son" Cole felt a knot deep in his stomach,
"I have a son?" He stepped forward. Bad move. Paige lunged forward in an attempt to hurt him and take him down. To her surprise she neither went down nor hurt him, instead it was as though she went straight through him. She spun around on her heels and looked at him, the shock in her eyes,
"Cole?" She whispered, he nodded almost as shocked as she was, if not more so. "What…how are you…" she took a few steps back and felt herself bump against her bed as she sat down, Cole took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy to explain.
"You're not meant to see me" He started "I had a deal, you know me always doing something to get what I want" he tried to lighten the situation but Paige's face stayed frozen, he continued "The deal was I got to see you one last time before I went, so I could move on easier because I was holding on to you. I guess I needed to say goodbye since we never got to before" He looked down at the floor, Paige felt her eyes sting the harsh reality of Cole's words hit her hard.
"What if I don't want to say goodbye?" She felt her heart pound fast. So furiously she thought that if she didn't control herself it would pump out of her chest. Cole knew this was coming, he knew she wouldn't let go. "I need you here Cole, me and Ben we need you" Cole saw from where he was stood that she was trembling. God! What he wouldn't give to be able to hold her.
"Paige you know that's not possible. Whether you say goodbye or not I have to go, I've gone. It's time for us to both move on." Paige opened her mouth but Cole knew what she was going to say and interjected before she could say it "I don't want to move on anymore than you do, but we have to face facts Paige. I'm dead." Cole regretted saying those words as harshly as he did, when he saw Paige bite her lower lip softly he took a step towards her, at no use, he couldn't touch her. Only talk. Words couldn't help what they were both feeling though.
"I miss you" She whispered "Everyday I think about you, us or what could have been" Cole's clear eyes watched her as she slowly gathered her feelings together, "Why did you leave me Cole? What made you even think I could cope with a child on my own?" She wanted to be sad, or even happy Cole was there, but instead she was angry, for the simple reason that it was the easiest emotion for her to register. "What do you want me to do when Ben is about 6 or 7 and he wants to know why all the other kids at school have a daddy and he doesn't?" Cole parted his lips and let out a sigh,
"You'll meet someone else by then baby" He looked at her and Paige's eyes seemed to burn with an intense fury
"I don't want anyone else! I want you. I want Ben to have a proper dad, to have his real dad beside him. And even if I do meet someone, what do you expect me to tell Ben? That his dad was killed by some demon because he messed everything up?" She took a deep breath and blinked a few times, not only did she shock Cole with her outburst she shocked herself. She always thought if she saw him again she would fall into his arms, or kiss him, but now she had nothing but anger towards him. She didn't want to feel like that but he had left her. Cole glanced at the clock once more, only 10 minutes had passed.
"I'm sorry" he told her simply "I know it means nothing but you need to know that. Of all the people in the world, you know everything happens for a reason and…" Paige's eyes darted up,
"No don't give me that cryptic shit Cole. How is my boyfriend getting me pregnant then dying even for the intentions of the greater good? God Cole I need you, I need you back here with me" That's when it hit her, all the anger left her and the mourning came in, she felt her knees buckle beneath her and she fell to the floor, cupping her head in her hands. Cole wanted so badly to go over to her and cradle her, whisper it would all be fine, and it tore him apart that he couldn't.
"I want to come back Paige, more than anything, but I can't. This is why you weren't meant to see me. I was to come here, say goodbye to you go see my child and then leave. I don't know how or why you can see me, and I only wish you couldn't because I can see how hard this is for you" He looked down at the floor "I'll go" he sighed. To be honest he didn't know if he could just leave when he wanted, but the plan was no-one could see him so if he wandered around until 12 he should be fine. She looked up, she knew it was best if he left, she just wanted him around for that moment longer,
"I'll bring you back" she whispered, she saw Cole roll his eyes "I mean it, I'll bring you back tonight if I can" He shook his head,
"No you wont" He spoke calmly. Well as calmly as the situation before him could let him. Paige rose up from where she was,
"Yes I will, and don't tell me any different Cole, if I'm this all powerful witch I think I have a right to bring you back" She stood up, her body tight and her eyes filled with determination. "Tonight I'll bring you back Cole" Blinded by her idealistic views to bring Cole back she walked out of the room. Cole sighed and lamely followed, deep down he knew that it was a small chance he was going to be brought back. All he wanted was for this to be simple and just look at her one last time. He didn't want for her to build her hopes up and then be devastated once again when her plan didn't work. He just hoped she could handle it.

A.N Okay so I'm done lol. I didn't know how to finish that off which is why it's kinda choppy but hey its another chapter isn't it? Anyway I'm on holiday for a week and I have a feeling I might not get round to doing another chapter for a while. Review please keeps me happy.