Disclaimer: I do not own Tele Tubbies, MasterCard, Capricorn, Basta, or Darling Dustbunny.

A/N: Just below this story, there is a little blue button. His name is "Go". Click him. It makes him happy. :)

Dedication: To my wonderful reviewers: Saer, InuSessyYaoiGirl, BeB, -'-Blueberrys-Are-Special-'-, Duckweed, Bastakils, and PrettyInPink16. Please review again!

The Heinous Crime of Fun

Capricorn had been doing a lot of Dark Brooding, lately.

With Flatnose gone it was mercifully… quiet. And Basta seemed to be in no hurry to fetch him, so Capricorn just left him in the dark. Which wasn't a new experience for Flatnose, actually…

Capricorn had let it be known that he was brushing up on his diabolical plotting, but really, he was just watching Tele Tubbies. Same thing really…

Knock! Knock! Knockknockknockknock! Whoever was assaulting his door sounded like they were having fun. Capricorn strode across the room, contemplating possible torture combinations for the heinous crime of fun.

"Mail, my lord." If Basta was surprised to find his master standing there in a fluffy red bathrobe looking murderous, he didn't show it. It wasn't a new experience for him, actually…

Capricorn forgot all about torture.

"Mail!" he roared. "Who the hell sends mail to the devil's own domain?"

Basta was still standing in the hall. What was he expecting, a pat on the head?

Capricorn was tempted to find out what would happen if he said: "sit, down, roll over", but he didn't want to break the rhythm of his demonic rage. If he knew he was committing the heinous crime of fun, he didn't show it.

"Make yourself useful and get me something sedating, alcoholic, and illegal!" he told his minion. Well, at least having an army of Black Jackets at his command was still good for something…

While he waited, he leafed through the mail. Perhaps he could find a good store to steal some new red, fluffy slippers from…

He ended up setting most of it aside for Dustfinger to burn. Then, he could punish the fire eater for the heinous crime of fun, and commit the crime himself at the same time. Capricorn loved being a criminal.

OoOOo

Punishing Dustfinger randomly was fun: A. Because Sword Pen thought he was hotter than all Black Jackets combined and B. She had written two whole paragraphs about him when the story was supposed to be about CAPRICORN!

I would continue obsessing over Dustfinger, but there's a really creepy guy with a torch outside my window…

OoOooO

Back to the story…

Capricorn set all the mail aside… except the last envelope.

"Need Credit?" it advertised.

Capricorn nodded, forgetting that the envelope was an inanimate object.

Of course, the Black Jackets did all the dirty work, but surely the evil mastermind deserved all the credit? Of course he did.

He turned the envelope over, looking for an opening. Damned twenty-first century paper goods…

This side looked much the same, except that it read: "There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard."

Capricorn began to get more and more excited. Forgetting that he had declared fun a heinous crime ten minutes ago, he began to skip awkwardly around the room.

Maybe a little respect was one of those things money could buy! Maybe, with this credit card, he could strike fear into the hearts of all!

MwahhahSQUEAK! That rusty laugh again, breaking his diabolical groove.

"Go away, Basta. I'm busy," he snapped to his minion who was standing uncertainly in the doorway. Capricorn wrestled with the envelope. Perhaps he should hire a paper goods maker. They seemed to have twisted minds…

He handed it to his rabid dog. "Slit this open with your knife!" he ordered.

"Yes, master." Basta turned the envelope right-side-up and opened it neatly with his finger. If he was surprised to see a credit card, he didn't show it.

Capricorn grinned broadly. He could feel the good mood coming on, already. "Now, what was it you wanted to see me about?" he asked.

"There's a traveling salesman here to see you."

Capricorn stopped in mid-giggle. So much for respect.

A/N: Yes, I do have an obsession with the heinous crime of fun. Writing is fun! Yay! I will probably end up with two more chappies. Next up: "Of Hot Soup and Traveling Salesmen".