APRIL 10th, 2015:
This is me.
I am this object...
...the shape that forms me.
A vast, empty ocean of orange - L.C.L. - Sunlight scattered from above, warming the nude entity known as Rei
But... it feels like I'm not me.
It's so strange.
The entity's baby blue hair flows freely through the liquid
It feels like I'm dissolving.
My shape is disappearing.
I can't tell what I am anymore.
The sunlight begins to fade - The ocean of L.C.L darkening
...I feel someone else.
Is someone there, beyond this place?
A large shadowy figure approaches - The entity appears unafraid
"Who are you?"
NERV HQ:
"How does it feel, Rei? To be in the Coding Pod, after so long?" Asked the false blonde doctor. Rei's expression remained unchanged as it usually did. "It smells like Ikari..."
Gendo and Ritsuko were the only adults around the control room. They had run a test on Rei in the Coding Pod again, asking her how she felt throughout the whole process.
"Besides that, how does your body feel?" She asked. "I feel the loss of sensation. I feel myself becoming nothing. Yet I find myself deep in my own thoughts."
Ritsuko looked over at Gendo, a grin on his face was visible. "Perfect Rei, we're done here. Shower once you're out of there and we'll run your baseline test." "Affirmative, doctor."
She turned her microphone off and proceeded to shut off the pod shortly after. "I think we're getting there. What she described sounds spot-on, Commander."
"Yes, we are closer. Do you suppose Shinji was somehow affected by this?" Ritsuko pulled up her report on Shinji through her computer screen. "He described the same things Rei did. But, he described feeling like he wasn't alone in there."
"Was this presence visible to him?" "No, he only felt its presence. He did describe feeling comforted by it, though." Ritsuko noticed Gendo's fingers fidgeting. "I see. Once Rei is done with her shower, take care of her baseline test and send her home."
"Yes sir." She said as she watched him exit the room.
BASELINE TEST:
"Ayanami Rei, let's begin. Ready?" Rang Ritsuko's voice from a speaker, having the test recorded for archival purposes. "Yes ma'am."
The baseline test was a sort of 'check-up' only Rei had ever gone through at NERV. It was in a tiny white room, with a chair in the middle for the occupant to rest in.
On the wall in front of the chair stood a camera, watching for her every move. Finger twitches, neck pulses, eye movement; anything that would indicate a sense of unease on the occupant of the chair.
"Recite your baseline."
"In blood-black, nothingness began to spin. A system of cells interlinked within cells interlinked within cells interlinked within one stem. And dreadfully distinct. Against the dark, a tall white fountain played."
"Cells." Said Ritsuko. "Cells." Replied Rei.
"Have you ever been in an institution? Cells."
"Cells."
"Do they keep you in a cell? Cells."
"Cells."
"When you're not performing your duties, do they keep you in a little box? Cells."
"Cells."
"Interlinked."
"Interlinked."
"What's it like to hold the hand of someone you love? Interlinked."
"Interlinked."
"Do they teach you how to feel finger to finger? Interlinked."
"Interlinked."
"Do you long for having your heart interlinked? Interlinked."
"Interlinked."
"Do you dream about being interlinked?"
"Interlinked."
"What's it like to hold your child in your arms? Interlinked."
"Interlinked."
"Do you feel that there's a part of you that's missing? Interlinked."
"Interlinked."
"Within cells interlinked."
"Within cells interlinked."
"Why don't you say that three times? Within cells interlinked."
"Within cells interlinked. Within cells interlinked. Within cells interlinked."
A silence fell upon the room. "We're done." Said Ritsuko, Rei nodding in response. "The 'Constant Rei'... you're free to head home now." She said as she turned off the machine. "Yes ma'am."
MEANWHILE:
TOKYO-3 JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL:
It was Shinji's second day of school at Tokyo-3. The majority of Unit-01 (those who were uninjured and were at the carrier for the Aha Beach mission) had noticed the boy ease up a lot more.
He was laughing and smiling more. Though he was still very shy, he looked more like a normal teen. They still knew very little about him though, aside from him being the Commander's son and being the successful test subject of Dr. Akagi's coding experiment.
They were about to head onto their first break of the day, the class impatiently waiting for the bell to ring. Shinji had noticed that Rei hadn't showed up today, wondering what might've kept her home.
'Probably a common cold, or something.' Before everyone knew it, the bell had finally rung and the class gleefully stepped outside for their break. Shinji, Toji and Kensuke headed for the rooftop for some fresh air.
The rooftop had a cover against the rain so that no student would get drenched in the toxic rainwater of Tokyo-3. The air was still very warm and humid, but the rainwater brought a slight cooling breeze.
"Y'know Shinji, I'm surprised ya seem so happy to be in school. Shit's borin' for everyone else." Said Toji. "Well, it's different for me now. I didn't have any friends in my other school, I would just tune out to my music."
"Well, I mean yeah I guess there's that 'n all... but schoolwork sucks, man!" "Of course it does, I hate doing it too. But, this is really the first time I've had a real group of friends."
Toji and Kensuke looked very surprised. "Really? So you not having friends at your old school wasn't just some exaggeration?" Shinji chuckled. "Nope. I always sat somewhere by myself, in and out of school."
"Well that sure explains a lot." It was why he was so intimidated by them back in carrier despite them not having any beef with him. The whole unit would just watch as he trailed off around the ship, all by himself.
"Anyway... where's Ayanami today, Shin?" Asked Kensuke. Shinji scratched his head. "How should I know? I barely know her." "Hey, even barely knowing Ayanami is a milestone here in Unit-01... she's a total mystery!"
"I bet he fucked 'er so hard last night, she couldn't make it to class today." Kensuke couldn't help but to laugh hysterically at Toji's suggestion. "You two are so fucking inappropriate..." Said Shinji, partially laughing himself.
"But seriously, I don't know. I've only talked to her like, twice." She was still a very blank slate to him, he wondered if he should even be wanting to find learn more about her or not.
"Well whatever it is that's up with her, let's just hope she's okay." Toji and Kensuke nodded, knowing that he didn't really have any clue where she was.
3:15pm:
The bell had rung, and Unit-01 were free to go home. As everyone was leaving, Hikari stood by the door waiting. As Shinji and his friends tried to leave, Hikari barred the door from them.
"'Ey, class rep! What's the deal?" Toji asked, slightly irritated. "You guys aren't going anywhere... you have clean-up duty!" Toji and Kensuke looked around the room, not knowing what she was talking about.
"Is that necessary, rep? The class looks just fine to us." Hikari forcibly turned the two around and pushed them further back into the classroom. "Don't worry, Ikari. You can head on home."
"Okay then. Guess I'll see you guys tomorrow, then." He said as he turned for the door. "Oh, just wait a sec! Take all these handouts, it's all the work Ayanami missed today."
He received the papers, not sure what to think about it. "Uh, okay. I'll be sure to uh, give them to her." He put the handouts in a sealed plastic folder, so there was no chance it would get wet in the rain outside.
He waved goodbye to his friends, who pitifully waved back at him as they gathered their cleaning tools.
Shinji took the 705, the very bus he planned to take to leave Tokyo-3, to reach Rei's home. It took him a good 20 minutes to reach the 7th district, making him wonder why she chose to live such a distance from everyone else.
As the bus approached Haido St., Shinji headed for the rear exit, waiting for the crowd at the bus stop to clear. As he stepped out, the rain was thankfully a little weaker than it was before, but it obviously continued.
He opened his umbrella when he began the trek to Rei's house, her building now in full view. It didn't take him long to arrive at the familiar site, covered with trash and homeless people.
Like last time, he walked through them as to not perturb them. Once he got through them, he made his way upstairs to the 4th floor, just as he remembered from the last time he had been there.
Shinji finally reached her floor, Apt. #402 was straight ahead of him. He pressed the electric doorbell beside her door, but no sound was made. 'Huh, seems it doesn't work...'
He tried knocking instead, which ended up working. The door was slowly opened and out came Rei in a loose button shirt low enough to cover her waist and no pants, rubbing her tired eyes. He thought maybe she had slept in.
"What is it, Ikari?" She asked, her voice somehow even quieter than it always was. "Oh, I'm sorry... Did I wake you?" He asked with a sense of guilt. "I had testings at NERV, it took all evening."
"Ah, okay. Well, here." He handed Rei the work she had missed for the day. "These are all of today's handouts. Go get some rest." He said, turning to face the stairwell.
As he began walking forward, Rei felt strange about it. "Ikari..." Shinji stopped in his tracks, waiting for her to say something. "...would you like to come in for a while?"
Feeling rather surprised, he processed her question a bit longer than he thought he would. "Um, sure." He said, making his way into her home. Upon stepping in her home and shutting her door, he was shocked.
The mini-corridor barely had any lights inside, so he couldn't see very well at first. Once he began taking off his shoes, he saw just how dirt-stained the tiles beneath him were.
He walked to the living room, finding the place almost entirely devoid of any furniture or decorations, only a bed and a night table beside it. The walls had small cracks on them, the curtains were always closed; it almost looked like a hospital room.
'This is... so weird. Though, it's strangely fitting for her now that I think about it.' He refrained from making any comment of her housing situation, as he could see she didn't really mind it.
He followed Rei to the kitchen, where she pulled out a kettle, two cups and a tiny box of tea leaves. He watched as she stared inquisitively at the box, looking for instructions.
'I wonder what it is about her that makes her like this... she seems to not be bothered by almost anything at all.' He mused. 'I wouldn't be able to live in a place like this, it feels too much like a prison cell.'
"How many leaves does one usually put in to make tea? I have some, but I have never made it before." Asked Rei, still trying to figure out how to make the tea. Shinji approached her to see what she needed help with.
She grabbed a spoon and overfilled it so much, it looked like a small tea leaf mountain. "Uuh, that's way too much. Let me help you-" He said. Rei wasn't looking where her hand had been, and ended up touching the hot tea kettle, burning her hand.
"Ah!" She let out, quickly removing her hand from the kettle. "Woah! Are you okay?" He asked, looking really concerned. "It's okay, I just... got burnt a little." She said, not panicking in any way at all.
"What do you mean 'just'? Pour some cold water on it!" He said, grabbing her hand and quickly putting it under the running water at her kitchen sink. The two sat for a few seconds, watching mindlessly as her burns cooled under the water.
It didn't take long for the silence to become awkward, as Shinji realized how close he was to Rei. "Uh, I'll... make the tea. Just... stay put for now." He said as he turned off the stove top. "Okay..."
"Thank you." She added. 'I have thanked him?' She thought. 'Those words feel... alien to me.' "It's no problem at all, Ayanami. Just be sure treat that burn." He said, snapping her out of her thoughts.
As Shinji continued to prepare the tea, he began to think about how so much had changed in so little time. He looked at his hands, the marks from the tree branch he had saved Rei from were still visible.
He tightened his fingers into a fist, remembering the lives of two Angels he took. All of this happened because of his father, the father that abandoned him, left him behind with no remorse or hesitation.
Yet, was he not to thank for all of his new friends? Shinji had certainly opened up more than he ever had before, and at the moment, things weren't very bad at all. All he wanted, was to talk to him.
"Ayanami?" He said. Rei turned to him, covering her burn mark with a piece of paper towel. "You talk with father all the time, right? What do you talk about?" Rei wondered why he would ask such a thing.
"Why?" "I don't believe I've ever had a talk with him, besides work of course." He said, looking a bit sad. "You want to talk to your father?" Shinji nodded, still looking upset.
"Yeah, though I'm not sure much would change. The way things are between me and him... it's really hard. I just keep hating him... How can I fight for his organization, for him?"
"You should tell him." She answered assertively. Shinji was kind of surprised by her suggestion, he didn't think he'd get any such thing from her. "You should tell your father what you're really thinking. Otherwise, nothing will change."
Shinji stood awkwardly, not knowing what he should say or if he even would want to do that. Rei looked at the tea Shinji had finally prepared, looking mesmerized by the sight. "Such a pretty color... May I drink it?"
"Uh... yeah, of course!" He said as he simultaneously picked up his own tea and handed her her cup. Shinji watched as she sipped from her cup, she looked so calm and at peace.
"Sorry, it's a little bitter..." He said. "Yes..." She replied. "...but it's warm."
8:30pm:
MISATO'S APARTMENT:
Shinji sat at his desk, the chair reclined backwards as he stared blankly at the ceiling. 'Is she right? Should I really just try to talk to him?' He looked over at his phone, placed on his desk.
'I mean... it won't hurt to try...' He reached over and dialed a number he was given to get in contact with any of the NERV personnel he needed to talk to. "NERV HQ, how may I help you?"
"Hi, I wish to speak to Commander Ikari." He said. "Are you NERV personnel?" Asked the phone operator. "Yes, I serve in the war with Unit-01. This is Shinji Ikari speaking."
"Just a moment." Said the operator just as they connected his line to his father's work number. "Shinji, what is it?" He was nervous, he didn't know where he wanted to begin.
"U-Uh, w-well, father... I just wanted to-" "I don't have much time, Shinji. What is it?" He took a deep breath to try and compose himself. "I-I just wanted to talk a bit with you, if you wouldn't mind..."
He awaited his father's response for what felt like minutes, in reality only being seconds. "Be sure to only call me for emergencies, Shinji. I've no time for trivial affairs." He said, abruptly hanging up.
Shinji felt a sinking feeling in his chest. He didn't know whether he did something wrong, or if his father would never change. He guessed it was both. He put his phone down and resumed watching the ceiling.
"So there you have it." He said to himself, feeling defeated. Looking around, he saw how truly crammed everything was in his room. Most of this stuff wasn't his, but he managed to organize some of it.
He thought about Rei's home again, and how dreary it looked. She appeared to be completely unbothered by the shelter she had to live in. It looked like a prison cell, yet she lived practically.
Shinji's home brought him comfort, but Tokyo-3 was what felt like his prison cell.
REI'S APARTMENT:
The blue haired child laid on her bed, face resting on her crossed arms against her pillow. After Shinji had gone, she had kept thinking about the moment she said 'thank you' to him.
'Thank you... words of gratitude... words I've never told anyone.' She quickly thought back to Gendo. 'Not even him.' She didn't know why she had been feeling so conflicted in the past few days, she had never dealt with such feelings.
Her phone had rang suddenly, nearly making the crimson-eyed girl jump. She picked herself up from bed to get it. She picked up the phone and answered. "Hello, this is Ayanami speaking."
"Hello Rei, this Commander Ikari. We have some more tests ready for you. Get down here immediately." He ordered. "Yes sir." She complied, hanging up shortly after.
She changed to her usual attire and went to put on her shoes. Just as she did, she happened to look at the two now-empty tea cups she and Shinji had drank out of. She thought of Shinji's struggle with his father.
She had no time to waste, though. She quickly took her mind off it and made her way to NERV HQ. She could hope everything would go well with Shinji.
NERV HQ, GENDO'S OFFICE:
Before they had run any more tests on Rei, the Commander decided the two would have some dinner first. Gendo had fine steak with a side of mashed potatoes, carrots and peas. The benefits of such a position in the military.
Rei was given fried rice with a plethora of chopped-up vegetables. She was one who didn't care much for luxury or fine details, only because she had been taught to do so by Gendo.
"How are things, Rei? How are you feeling?" He asked. "No problems, Commander. I hope to get some work done at school tomorrow, if possible."
"We'll see how things play out tonight. Speaking of which, how is school?" He asked, raising his glass for a sip of his wine. "No problems." She answered. "I see. That's fine." Though he acted the same way he always did, Rei felt a very different energy about him.
She thought again about Shinji's struggle, especially how sad he looked every time his father was brought up. She looked at him, as if trying to study him, something she had never done and would never do otherwise.
She couldn't read a single emotion from him, he was a blank slate. Yet again, nothing had changed, making her wonder what it was that felt so different.
'All we talk about is work... he seems to care about me, but he's really thinking about someone else.' She mused. 'I'm the one... for whom nothing is going to change.'
Unbeknownst to her, it was she that was changing inside.