Where I Belong
Chapter one; No Longer Hermione

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to JK Rowling.
All plots and other characters belong to me.
Harry and Hermione belong to each other.

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.
-from the television show 'The Wonder Years'
Even through the black velvet curtains that she hung last spring, the sunlight managed to creep up and chase the shadows off Hermione Granger's face, waking her from her peaceful and carefree sleep.

The sunlight shone along the doctorate degrees on the walls and on the non-moving pictures on the dresser. In the small black frames there were pictures of her and Hugh; camping, smiling, and doing various other Muggle activities. If she had told herself long ago that she would be going without magic, she wouldn't have believed it.

Every picture on the wooden dresser that was now basked in light was the same: Hermione with a pushed smile on her face and of three months ago, a six-carat Harry Winston diamond on her left hand, ring finger.

The light even managed to sneak into the door of her walk-in closet, onto the dozen identical white jumpers and blue trousers. But then again, that was her. Boring, old, Hermione Granger. She would throw in predictable, but then… that wouldn't be true anymore, would it?

She slowly rubbed the sleep off her face.

Sunlight? Already?

Her eyes focused lazily on the walls across the room as she felt a strong arm wrap around her.

'Morning, honey.'

Her lips formed a grin as she turned around and she met the eyes of the completely non-magical man she lived with.

Yes, it was true. Hermione Granger lived with a Muggle. 'Good morning, Hugh.'

He jumped off of the bed, already dressed, and took a small wrapped present out of the drawer of the dresser.

'Hugh?' She asked, 'What's that for?'

He extended his arm towards her. 'A special anniversary.'

Hermione's mind raced. 'Anniversary? Hugh, we've only been going out seven months.'

Not that she'd been counting. She stopped that long ago.

'No, not ours,' She watched him say slowly as she struggled with the wrapping. 'Yours. It's officially been six years since you arrived in Manhattan from London.'

All of Hermione's thoughts and she stopped fiddling with the box as her pretty hazelnut eyes filled with tears.

Six years…

Had it really been that long?

Hugh's voice came to her as if from far away. 'Hermione? Is everything all right?'

She blinked back her tears. 'Nothing. I mean… everything. Everything is all right.' She threw the rest of the tissue to the floor and opened the small box. 'Oh Hugh, it's beautiful!'

She picked up the small gold chain with the obviously expensive pink pearl hanging from it.

'You spoil me, you know that?' Hermione said uneasily. Presents made her uncomfortable.

'Well no one deserves it more than you. May I?' Hugh flashed his brilliant smile at her.

'Of course.'

His rough hands swept back her shiny long hair. The bushiness had left her head long ago, leaving soft waves and curls in its place.

She felt his presence on her neck until he stopped. 'There, all done.'

'How does it look?' she said, flashing him a sweet smile.

'Beautiful. Well, it would look better if you hadn't just rolled out of bed.' He laughed and raised a hand to her face.

'Mmhmm…' Hermione smiled weakly and avoided his eyes. The necklace around her neck was feeling unusually heavy.

'So,' Hugh said, taking a seat on the bed. 'You want to go to dinner with me tonight?'

'Oh, Hugh, I wish I could. But I promised Doctor Lansing I'd work the late shift. And then, well – I wanted to have some time to myself.'

He stood up suddenly. 'What do you mean?'

'Well, maybe do some shopping – visit some friends…'

'So you have time to do that, but you can't go to dinner with me?' His eyes flashed dangerously.

'I-It's not that,' she stared intently at the floor. 'My shift will end at seven, I think, and then I can't-'

'Of course you can! Are you saying that your friends are more important than me?' She winced. She didn't need a row this early in the morning.

'Hugh, no. Don't worry about it… I'll be home by nine.'

'You are going to be out for two hours after you finish your shift? Why do you do this? You always make things so complicated. You never can tell me anything when I ask you.'

'That's not true…' Again, Hermione found herself staring at her feet.

'Yes it is! I'm marrying you, and I still wonder who in hell you are. Where did you grow up? Where did you go to school? And why did you move to the States?'

Tears rose to her eyes and prickled her skin. The words still sting. Even after all these years.

'Hugh, really, can we not talk about it… those things don't matter. It's nothing.' At least nothing I can tell you about…

'Honestly,' His voice was aggressive. 'Don't be such a bitch. What do you have to hide?'

'I'm not hiding anything. All that matters is us…now… Hugh, please –'

'Goddamn you! You are wearing my ring; you are living in my house. Can't you show any appreciation?'

A keepsake-anger that bubbled inside her was hard to control. 'You don't own me, Hugh. Please. This is my business.' Wrong thing to say. He looked at her so angrily she was scared that he would hit her. Again.

As much as she tried to forget about it, the reality was never far from the surface of her mind.

But so what? So what if he raised his hand to her sometimes. Everyone needed to sacrifice. She chose to stay where she was. At least she would be taken care of. And he said he loved her. She was marrying him. She loved him, too. Right?

But what was love?

Hermione didn't know if she'd ever really loved anyone. She started to whimper, and she hated herself for it.

'Sorry, I didn't mean –' she lamely said, and his voice got soft again.

'It's just, you… are so strange sometimes, Hermione, and I just want to know you. Now, can you come to dinner with me?' She knew it as a command, not a request.

Hermione looked with as much gentleness that she had left. 'Hugh – I promised Doctor Lansing I'd-'

'That you'd work late. I know Hermione! I'm asking you to change your plans. You are spending the night with me.'

'But I c-can't just cancel… trust me, Hugh, understand –'

He stood up quickly and struck her across the face. Hermione fell against the fall, defeated. A single tear rolled down her cheek but she remained completely silent.

'Don't talk to me about understanding. I understand that you won't even try to spend some time with the man you are about to marry.'

A sob escaped her chapped lips. 'I-I'll go to dinner with you.'

The devilish smile returned to his face. 'What was that?'

Hermione took a deep, shaky breath. 'I said... I'll go to dinner with you.' She gave him a small smile.

He grabbed her chin and raised her face to his. He kissed her softly. 'Good to hear. I'll see you tonight at Arabelle around seven thirty. Have a good day at the hospital, Honey.'

He picket up his jacket and walked out of the huge New York flat like nothing had happened.

Her eyes continued to tear as her hand went to her cheek and sighed. This was just the typical morning. She gazed down at the necklace hanging from her neck. It really was beautiful. Just like the last one he gave her. And the one before that. Not to mention the one he bought for her the first day she arrived in the city.

Her eyes went to the dresser drawer that held her wand.

How long had it been since she'd used any magic? Six years?

Too long. A voice inside of her head whispered.

She scolded herself. She was supposed to forget about all that rubbish.

Merlin knows she tried.

Hermione glanced at the supposed happy pictures on the dresser and set them down. She couldn't look at them any longer.

The clock alarm rang. 6:30. 'Oh, bugger,' she said under her breath. She was expected at work in half an hour. She slipped out of her nightgown and into the shower.

Needless to what she thought of herself, Hermione had grown to be a gorgeous witch.

Flawless, sunkissed skin covered a trim hourglass figure that she'd maintained since seventh year. When she really smiled, she glowed. Her eyes shone with emotion, and while she always wondered whether she really had grown into her teeth, she captured men's attention. Not that she ever tried.

She stopped worrying about her love life. Ever since…

Him.

She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower with a fuzzy towel around her. Sometimes she thought about him. His smile. His eyes. His love.

Her fear.

And sometimes she thought about why she ran away. But those thoughts were nonsense. She knew.

Hermione swore that she would try to forget about him. But did she want to?

'No.'

But that didn't mean she loved him. Just because she memorized his laugh and thought about how his hair never really laid flat at the back didn't mean she loved him. Just because she imagined he was here so she would never be lonely didn't mean she loved him. Just because she saw his face when she kissed Hugh didn't mean she loved him.

No. Hermione Granger refused to give into something as delicate as love. Especially now.

She buttoned up her jacket and looked in the mirror. She wondered how she got to be this way. She used to be so naïve. So carefree.

The alarm clock went off again. She was never good with electricity. 6:56.

Damn. There was no way she could get to the hospital in four minutes.

The most acclaimed Healer and the most famous witch in the wizarding world worked as a Muggle doctor? She couldn't imagine what she'd tell them if the people back home found out. But it was true. Dr. Granger. Ha!

You could always Apparate to the hospital… said that voice inside her head that she cursed.

But she knew she couldn't Apparate. If she did any magic the Ministry would find her.

He would find her.

She desperately hoped they already didn't know where she was. But she trusted her secret keeper.

No one would guess that she chose Draco Malfoy as her secret keeper. But he trusted her and he was the only one she could think of… everyone else was too… and…

She took the small pad that she always kept by the phone and wrote a small apology note to Hugh, though she wasn't sure why, and made her way down to the car Hugh gave her for one of their anniversaries. Who could keep track of them all?

Hermione didn't know much about her life anymore.

Except…

She would give anything to be that young, naïve witch again.

A/N: Mehhhh. So what did you all think? Please please review because I will love you forever. Sorry I didn't update sooner, but I was away from home for awhile. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Much love.

Next up is Chapter Two:

He spent days searching for her; sometimes he'd feel her hand on his shoulder, her cheek on his lips, her breath on his ear.

Then, after awhile, he just got used to eating alone, sleeping alone, living alone…

Being alone.

Next chapter is one of my favorites :). See you thennn.