APRIL 15th, 2015

4:53pm:

Eagle Company had finally reached the heart of Matsuyama. This was mostly uncharted territory by NERV troops, but this was the first day of their rush into the inner city.

The roads were covered with what appeared to be gravel, but was actually just small pieces of debris from blasts and bullet strikes. It was everywhere, and most of the windows in central Matsuyama were shattered.

The company was split up and sprawled out across from each other, all heading the same way. Shiro's heat scanner picked up a warm area just ahead, possibly indicating they weren't far from a company of Angels.

So they all rushed for cover and made slow progress up the streets, each running, stopping and repeating the process to move as quickly, safely, and quietly as they possibly could.

The smell of smoke was present, also alarming everyone in the company. They had to be ready for anything, knowing from previous experiences that Angels were very capable of pulling effective sneak tactics.

Shinji's hands gripped his ADV rifle firmly, but were shaking from the extreme amounts of stress that he was feeling. It was a feeling he could swear he'd never get used to, being this vulnerable to death.

'Follow, lock on, fire. Follow, lock on, fire.' He thought repeatedly. He felt the sweat pour from his face down to his neck, the drops seeping into the cloth of the Chameleon Suit.

To his right, he could see what used to be Matsuyama Castle on top of the hill located in the middle of the city. It was a relic that had been bombarded on the first day of SEELE's attack on the city.

Most citizens of Japan had felt the castle was a great loss for historical value. The troops on the other hand, couldn't care less. At this point, most of them had long forgotten that they were supposedly fighting for their country. They just wanted to make it out alive.

Shiro gestured multiple gestures at his troops, indicating to them that they were approaching the heated area. Everyone hovered their finger over their triggers, and quietly made their way over.

Shiro and the troops up front were the first to see what it was the heat scanner had picked up, and instinctively aimed their guns forward. They were quick to put them down, but all had frozen for a second.

Normally, the leader of a company would signal to the rest of their troops if the coast was clear, but they just stared. Something was very wrong. The troops further back didn't know whether they should keep going or not.

Finally, Shiro gave a rather weak gesture signalling that the coast was indeed clear. Everyone knew something heavy was coming, something obscene. Shinji walked alongside Rei and his friends, bracing for the image he was about to encounter.

As they made their way around the building that blocked their view, sure enough, horror arose. Bodies, laying on the floor all over that particular street. Not troops, civilians. Residents of the city, all killed in their own safe haven.

Shinji felt multiple things at once; chills, a sinking feeling in his chest, and sickness. "Keep your guard up! Enemies might be lurking in the area." Shiro quietly ordered.

Everyone began to slowly search the area. A worn-down car was still on fire in the distance, only making this particular part of the city more unbearable. All the bodies looked so helpless, and their faces still expressed the fear they felt as their lives came to an end.

Shinji's shivers could be heard through his breath, the unusual sight traumatizing him at that very moment. "Don't think 'bout it much, Shin." Advised Toji through a whisper.

Shinji was reminded of Toji's 'human bacon' story, quickly realizing the whole company had probably witnessed tragedies like this multiple times already. It was another horrifying thing he'd need to get accustomed to.

He nodded in response, not being able to muster a sound with his vocal chords. Asuka was not struck by the imagery of dead bodies anymore, but she reacted with anger. She was heard frustratingly sighing multiple times.

Rei paid almost no attention to the bodies, and was solely focused on spotting enemies out. Shinji was fully prepared for combat, but he was paying the bodies most of his attention. He just couldn't look away, no matter how had he tried.

The more he looked around, the more brutal the kills were. Shinji spotted what appeared to be too small to be a body, but was still wrapped in clothes. It quickly dawned on him that what he had just seen was unnatural, and he looked away. As if trying to deny it.

He knew he had just seen a child's dead body, and he couldn't look any longer. He looked over at Rei, and picked up on how she was only concerned with staying on guard, so he tried to do the same, even if the pain inside was great.

Kensuke was also looking at the bodies, looking like he had just had a realization. Toji noticed something was up. "Ken, what's the matter?" He asked, worried about the expression on his friend's face.

"They were trying to get away." Answered Kensuke, looking distraught. Toji looked over at the bodies, wondering what could've possibly lead Kensuke to that conclusion.

He noticed that the doors closest to the bodies were wide open, as if they had been forcibly kicked. Then, he too realized what had occurred; the victims had tried to run out of their own homes, and were killed as soon as they stepped out.

Hell on earth. "Fuck it, man. C'mon." He told Kensuke. Up at the front, Shiro turned his earpiece on and whispered a status report to HQ. He wasn't entirely sure if they were alone over there just yet.

"This is Eagle Company. We're reporting a mass of dead bodies, looks to be about 20 to 30 lost souls. Be advised that the area is not clear of Angels, so only send a medivac once we have pushed or cleared the enemy from here." He said.

Shiro also requested that HQ check the area for enemies with the Watcher Series drones, which they had no problem doing for them. To everyone's relief, no Angels were sighted in the area, and they even had time for a late lunch break.

Now everyone sat together, eating their bland rations to give them the energy to fight and stay strong. They all chowed down quickly, all eating like pigs clumsily making a mess with their food.

All but one; Shinji sat staring at the bag that held the cans of rations that were meant for him. After what he had just seen, he didn't feel much like eating. He knew Rei would want him to eat, but he knew he would just feel more sick.

"Kensuke, here." Said Shinji as he offered him his meal. Kensuke stared in disbelief, as troops were usually extremely possessive of the food given to them out there. "Oh, thanks." He responded.

Rei turned her head as soon as she realized what Shinji had just done. "Ikari, you should not be skipping another meal." She said to him. "Don't worry about it, I'm not feeling very good anyway." He said as he stood up.

"Captain Shiro, I need to relieve myself." He said to the company's C.O. "Go in one of these buildings, it's your safest bet." Shiro advised. "Yes sir." Replied Shinji as he put his helmet on and walked inside one of the abandoned buildings. Rei could only watch as he left.

Inside, he found a room that was out of view from anyone outside. Shinji sat himself on the floor and leaned his head back, his helmet lightly clunking on the wall behind him.

Although he thought he was in the scariest place in the world right now, he felt safe in this little room. It was the only place he could think of to isolate himself and have time to think.

He began to feel lightheaded, and knew what was coming. He got on his knees and prepared to hurl, as he felt a horrible push go up his stomach. He leaned forward and vomited, letting out a deep grunt as he did.

He now regretted having given Kensuke his lunch, knowing he would be really hungry when the time came. He took a few seconds to breathe, and began to spit out any remaining vomit from his mouth.

He still felt awful, but he wasn't feeling sick anymore. He reached into his canteen and proceeded to wash his mouth, as well as take a few sips of it for hydration. He moved away from the mess and sat against another part of the wall.

He looked up to an unfamiliar ceiling again, this one being torn and full of debris and dust. He thought back to his room at Misato's house, and how dearly he was missing it right now.

"I don't wanna be here..." He said to himself. The phrase repeated in his head and didn't leave for a little while. He was so spaced out he forgot about the passing of time. Realizing he had spent over five minutes doing nothing in there, he shot up and headed back.

By the time he arrived, everybody had been doing an ammo check to make sure they were set for battle. As Shinji returned to his spot, Shiro noticed how uncomfortable he looked.

"Hey, you alright?" Shiro asked him. "Yeah." He replied rather unconvincingly, his eyes still looking spaced out. Shiro knew he wasn't being honest, but didn't want to press him on it. Shinji walked back to his friends, and their interaction was kept short.

As he sat, he too began to check on his weapons and ammo. "Geez, what took you so long, Ikari?" Asuka asked teasingly. Shinji wasn't much in the mood to deal with her, so he didn't bother saying anything back.

"You deaf, newbie? I just asked you, what took you so long?" She asked, a little irritated now. "Why's it matter?" He spat back with attitude, not even looking at her when he did.

"Don't you talk to me like that, idiot! I'm the Lieutenant of this unit, so you better have some respe-" "I'm the C.O. here, Lieutenant. Keep your voice down and leave him alone." Ordered Captain Shiro.

She glared at Shiro with a vicious frown, but couldn't protest. She looked back at Shinji and moved closer to him. "Don't think you can go around giving me attitude like that, got it? Last thing I need from a scaredy-cat like you is your whining, so shape up." She demanded of him.

"Ikari has to do no such thing, Lieutenant." Rei rebutted. Asuka was surprised, never having heard Rei talk back like that. "Excuse me?" She asked in a threatening manner. "Back off, Wondergirl. I'm not about to let some moody brat like him disrespect me."

"The Captain just ordered that you stand down, I suggest you follow that order." Rei added, not showing any signs of fear. Shinji was indeed grateful (and also very surprised) that Rei was defending him, but didn't want any conflict to arise between the two of them.

"Guys, please. Can we not g-" "Shut it, Ikari! It seems the doll is trying to prove something to herself! Well don't bother... all you are is a doll!" She said as her volume had gradually raised. "Doll?" Shinji asked quietly.

The other two units in Eagle Company overheard and even watched in complete shock at Asuka's behavior. Unit-01 however, were all too used to it. "That's all she is! Just a mindless little toy that follows her every order!"

"That'll be enough, Lieutenant." Blared out Major Katsuragi from Asuka's earpiece. "Wha-?" She said, not understanding how Misato even heard her without her earpiece being on.

"I told you to leave him alone, Lieutenant." Shiro told Asuka as he stood up. Being the C.O. of the company granted him control of every troop's earpiece. So when Asuka started scolding Shinji again, he simply turned her mic on and broadcasted it to NERV HQ.

"Captain Shiro has been filling us in on your recent misbehavior. You haven't been following his orders and on top of that, you're mistreating your own troops." Misato stated with a straight voice. Asuka didn't know what to say, but she felt she needed to say something anyway.

"I- I'm just-" "Lieutenant Soryu, Private Ikari, you two are being brought back in for re-evaluation. Private Ayanami, the Commander needs to see you, so you'll go with them." She ordered. "Wait, what?" Both Shinji and Asuka exclaimed in confusion. "Yes ma'am." Said Rei in return.

"Um, why am I going back, Misato?" He asked, though he wasn't bothered by the idea of going back. Misato shut off Asuka and Rei's earpiece and talked only to Shinji, as to keep some privacy about his situation.

"Shiro also reported to us that you've been showing signs of battle fatigue. We can't have a soldier out there with an unhealthy state of mind, so you'll be doing some therapy when you come back." Misato explained to him.

Hearing about therapy made him nervous, and he was glad Misato spoke to him privately about it. "U-Um, okay..." He said to her. She switched to all three of the troops' earpieces.

"A helicopter's being sent your way shortly, be ready by 1750 hours." She told them before hanging up. "What was all that about, man?" Asked Toji, struck by curiosity after seeing Shinji's reactions to what the Major had told them.

"I'm being... sent back." He told Toji. "What? Well god damn! Lucky you, man! What're ya goin' back for?" Toji asked excitedly. "Therapy, apparently..." Shinji said, sounding embarrassed.

"Oh..." Uttered Toji, feeling awkward about asking him. Asuka stared him down, breathing heavily. She looked like she was ready to kill, but instead she went over to her friends and wasn't going to further bother Shinji.

"The fuck's the matter with her now?" Kensuke asked after watching Asuka storm off. "She and Ayanami are going too, but for... different reasons." Explained Shinji as he sat back down.

Mentioning Rei made him think back to how she was defending him. He looked over at her, seeing that her expression still remained unchanged. "U-Um, thank you Ayanami, you didn't have to do that." He said to her.

"You were already feeling unwell before she had scolded you, emotional stress would only serve to impede your survival skills." She said rather bluntly. She was still a little off emotionally, but what she did was still very kind.

Shinji smiled and nodded. Toji and Kensuke looked at each other, finding Rei's unintentional robot-nature puzzling. "Eh, she's got the spirit." Whispered Kensuke to Toji.

Then, Shinji's anxiety shot up as he remembered he had two shots of BR-ZRK in his pouch. If they were to catch him with that, he'd be in serious trouble. "Toji! Shit, I forgot!" He said.

"What, what? The fuck you talkin' about?" Toji asked, freaked out by how anxious Shinji had gotten. "The shots, you gotta take them back!" He told him, reaching for his pouch in a hurry.

"Oh, haha. Don't worry 'bout that. They only search ya when yer bein' sent out to the battlefield, they almost never check when we get back." He calmly assured Shinji.

"You sure? I've never done this before, it just feels risky." Shinji said, now calming down. "Dude, just stow 'em away at home. I mean ya never know when you'll need 'em!" He suggested.

Shinji wasn't really sure why he'd need to use this stuff outside the battlefield, but didn't have any better idea. "Yeah, okay I guess." He replied. "So when's your flight come?" Kensuke asked, not wanting either of them to talk about the drug any longer. They didn't want to draw too much attention.

"Oh, in about half an hour or so." Answered Shinji. "Man, it sucks that ya gotta do therapy... but at least ya get a break from evil shit like this." Said Toji, gesturing at the bodies.

"Being away from here is all I can think about."

NERV HQ, COMMAND CENTER:

"Medivac is inbound, as is the ride for Ikari, Ayanami and Soryu." Stated Makoto, keeping an eye on the aircrafts on his tracker. "Good, everything is going according to schedule." Misato said in a sigh of relief.

"By the way Ritsuko, why is it that you asked Shiro to keep an eye on Shinji specifically?" She asked her long-time friend. "Commander's orders, it is his son that's out there, after all."

'Strange, he doesn't care enough to show him any affection, yet he's worried about his mental health... Guess some parents are better in some fields than in others.' Thought Misato.

"Makes sense, and I'm glad he's going to have a short break from all that chaos out there. It's really been affecting him." Said Misato to Ritsuko. "Makes me wonder why the kid was even sent out there..." Shigeru rudely remarked, making Makoto chuckle.

Misato looked over at him with an annoyed look, but he didn't notice. Shinji was trying his hardest out there, yet not even some of the very crew helping him could see his efforts. They pointed and laughed instead.

"Give him a break, guys, he's been through a lot growing up. Yes, he may not be the strongest emotionally... but he's got to learn eventually!" She said in defense of her roommate.

"Let's hope he does, Misato." Ritsuko said in response. Shigeru and Makoto chuckled again, thinking Ritusko's remark was another jab at him. "Quit it, you two." She ordered of them.

They were quick to cut their laughter, though it was somewhat reluctant. "If it makes you feel any better, a lot of other units have been showing increased levels of stress, they're even bickering more and more, like we just saw." Ritusko said to Misato.

"With how things have been going lately, I can't blame them." She added. "Well come on, Rits. Things are bad right now, but they can't stay like this forever. Our job is to ensure Japan can see the light of day in the end of this conflict." Misato said rather optimistically.

'If only you knew...' Ritsuko thought to herself. "All we can do for now is try to alleviate the tension within this company. We already have Angels trying to tear them apart... we can't have them tear each other apart."

"Well knowing Asuka, she probably won't change all that much. Having them work things out separately doesn't really feel like it'll do much help, Ritsuko." She said.

"Well, what do you suggest we do, then?" Ritsuko asked Misato. She had to think about this, but she had an idea. A crazy one, but one that just might work.

"Say Rits, where's Asuka living at the moment?"

The whirring of the propellers provided such a strong low-end attack on the ears, passengers could only communicate with each other through their earpieces. Aside from the two pilots, Shinji, Rei and Asuka were the only other passengers.

Asuka had made sure she had been the first one in just to get a window seat, not because she particularly enjoyed it, but because she thought one of them might've wanted it first.

She was really uneasy, obvious by the sight of her jumpy right leg. As she stared out the window, she saw flames from battles being fought below. They were at a very high altitude, so didn't have to worry about being fired on.

All the meanwhile, each passing battle she could see from her seat only made her more anxious to go back. "Lieutenant Soryu, may I ask-" "WHAT?" She exclaimed, causing Shinji to jump.

"Gah! I-I just wanted to ask a question!" He nervously said back to her. She quickly turned away and pouted, somehow blaming him for the whole thing. "Well what is it?" She asked impatiently.

"I just wanted to ask why the Angels are named the way they are... I mean, why such a holy name?" He asked. He had found it strange that such killing machines would be given a name like that, finding it rather ironic.

"Geez, you ought read up on your history before getting into these fights, idiot. It was just some marketing tool, a 'cute' name to give the impression that they were perfect beings who followed your every order." Asuka explained.

"Of course, that didn't turn out to be the case." She added. "I still don't get it..." Shinji admitted. "Wow, you really are an idiot!" She said to him loudly, before turning to face the window, wanting to end the conversation.

For a few minutes, no one talked to each other. Shinji wouldn't dare ask Asuka anything anymore, so he could really only talk to Rei. "Ayanami, what's my father need to see you for?" He asked her, genuinely curious.

"I do not know yet, but I don't think this is information I'd be allowed to share." She explained to him. "Oh, did he enforce that you keep it a secret?" Shinji asked her, wondering what it might be that needed to be kept behind closed doors.

"Yes." She answered plainly. "God, will you quit acting like such a robot? You don't just sound like one, you act like it!" She exclaimed at Rei. Shinji turned to face Asuka, confused about all the things she accused Rei of being that day.

"First a doll, now a robot? How is she any of those things?" He asked in Rei's defense. "All she does is follow someone's orders! Like with Shiro before we were all booted off the company. It's the same with the Commander... She oughta be an Angel, for Christ's sake!"

"Lieutenant, don't you think that's a bit harsh? I mean she-" "Angels are not robots, Lieutenant Soryu." She said to the fired-up redhead. "They are bio-engineered humans. They have the same blood, organs, and thoughts as you and I."

"I'm not talking about specifics, dummy! See? Even your rebuttal sounds lifeless and robotic!" Asuka yelled insultingly. Shinji couldn't take it anymore and clicked his earpiece on, since Asuka's yelling was loud enough to be heard through his earpiece.

"Lieutenant Soryu, this is the last time I'm going to order you to stand down." Said Misato in a raised voice. Asuka sighed aggressively and stopped scolding Rei. "Sorry ma'am, it won't happen again." She said as if she was reading those words from a book.

As soon as Misato hung up, she glared at Shinji again. She stood up and squeezed her way out from the window seat, purposefully elbowing Shinji on the stomach on her way out.

Rei was going to stand for him again, but Asuka had already left their aisle and headed for the seat furthest away from them. Shinji recovered from the hit he took, while Rei observed him to make sure he wasn't too hurt.

Shinji noticed her look of concern, and was quick to shake it off. "Don't worry, Ayanami. It doesn't hurt that bad." He assured her. Rei kept staring at him, having realized another thing about him.

"U-Um, what is it?" He asked her nervously, not sure why she was staring at him for so long. "You always tell me not to worry about you, do you not seek care for yourself?" She asked him.

Another very direct and personal question. He didn't really know how to answer her, as he never really thought about it. It was just something he said by default, but now that she brought it up, he was feeling insecure about it.

"I... don't think I want to talk about it." He answered, looking down in shame. Rei could see he was uncomfortable, and immediately felt regretful. "I apologize, Ikari. I did not mean to upset you."

"No, you didn't upset me. Don't worry abou-" He stopped himself, catching himself actually saying it without really thinking about what it truly meant. "-I mean... it's okay, Ayanami." He said with a forced smile.

Rei felt something new inside her, something very strange. It was a strange sinking-like sensation going from her upper chest down her body. She didn't know what it was, but she knew she didn't like it. She only knew that it was Shinji that brought upon these feelings.

It was pity, she was feeling pity. The feeling would continue to discomfort her, making her anxious to relieve herself of it. The helicopter ride continued, and though Shinji was now more shaken up than ever before, he was glad he would stay away from the horror for just a few weeks.

His little window of escape.