APRIL 23rd, 2015

2:01pm:

Eagle Company had been trekking for an hour. After having lost two souls just two days ago, they were on high alert. Over at HQ, they decided Eagle Company would be much better suited for a vantage point, up at Mount Katsuyama. It was perfect for trained snipers (Toji in particular was excited) and machine gunners.

They were ordered to dig foxholes, which luckily gave the troops some time to rest. They split into multiple mini-groups and were assigned spots to tend to. And though the walk up the mountain was quite exhausting, the look of the trails and the view it provided was truly pleasing to the eyes.

But of course, no one in the company had time to think about that. Especially not Shinji or Asuka. Their strange behavior hadn't gone unnoticed by their friends. Toji and Kensuke had asked him if anything was up, but he downplayed it.

Not even Rei could get an answer from him. They were all very worried. As they continued to dig in the dirt, Toji tried to find out what was up with Shinji one last time.

"Shin, yer lookin' pale, man. Whatever happened, y'know you can trust Ken and I." He told Shinji, trying to get a conversation off the ground. No response.

"Of course, there's Ayanami too." He added.

Shinji shook his head without a word, preferring not to talk about what had made him act this way. Toji was no closer to understanding what had put Shinji in this state, but was okay with not talking about it. He chose not to press the issue any further.

The scene had replayed in Shinji's head several times throughout the day. The sheer anger in his mind, the adrenaline pumping in his blood, and the tears escaping Asuka's eyes. There was nothing he could do to block it out, so he continued digging the foxhole.

Asuka stuck with her friends, and was in a separate group from that of Shinji's. After his violent behavior last night, she made sure to stay far away from him. She couldn't even look at him, and this time it wasn't out of anger. It was genuine fear.

So when Hikari began to walk up to Shinji, he knew he was in for it. He avoided eye contact with her, somehow thinking that would make her go away.

'Asuka must have told her. Shit, I'm in serious trouble...' He thought as he prepared for the worst.

Hikari was eyeing him like a hawk as she stepped into his unfinished foxhole. He continued to avoid eye contact, now looking the opposite direction of which Hikari stood.

Toji and Kensuke noticed the tension between the two, realizing what had happened was much more serious than they had imagined. Rei continued to dig her foxhole, not minding the situation a bit. Hikari inched closer to Shinji's face in an attempt to intimidate him.

"What the fuck was that bullshit you pulled last night, Ikari?" She confronted him. "Throwing a fit at the Lieutenant? Threatening her?" Shinji looked down, looking very ashamed of himself.

"I messed up." He said quietly, not wanting anyone to hear about what he did.

"Look at her! She's fucking shaking!" Hikari said, pointing to Asuka over in the distance. Shinji gave her no response. She had no choice but to bring Asuka up to him.

"Lieutenant will you come here, please?" She called out to Asuka, who looked over at the mention of her name. Hikari gestured for her to come over. Asuka was very hesitant to even want to come near Shinji again, but Hikari had assured her that she would defend her if he tried anything again beforehand.

"I messed up, alright?" He said to Hikari.

"M'kay." She replied dismissively. He didn't want to face Asuka again after what he put her through. Asuka approached the two, being very cautious as she got closer to Shinji. He turned away in defiance, but didn't leave. He knew that would only make things worse.

"Look at her." Hikari ordered him to do, despite being the same rank as he was. Shinji still faced the other way and said nothing.

Hikari raised a fist and threw it towards him, but didn't actually hit him. It was an empty threat, only done to get a reaction out of him. He barely moved, but her message had been received clearly.

"You fucking do that again, and I will shoot you myself!" She yelled. Toji and Kensuke watched in shock. Even Rei's attention had been caught by now.

"Alright?" Hikari asked him, her voice slightly cracking. She was clearly somewhat nervous, but had been very good at keeping her cool.

Shinji's face could no longer remain straight. He frowned, but only because he couldn't hold back the tears that were forcing themselves out. He slowly turned to face Asuka, who was also looking very troubled.

"I-" He said in between sobs. He swallowed hard and looked down for a second. He wanted to regain his composure, but couldn't help himself.

"I- I'm really sorry..." He finally let out, ready to break down right then and there.

Asuka, still in shock of what he had done to her, only nodded. She looked very uncomfortable, and understandably so. But for a moment, even after what he had done to her, she swore she had somewhat understood him just a little better at that point.

"Good. Get back to digging your foxhole. We can go now, Lieutenant." Hikari said before heading back to her group. Asuka followed, only further confusing Shinji's friends and fellow troops surrounding them.

As they left, Shinji buried his face in his palms and dropped into his incomplete foxhole. He was breaking down. Everyone in his group was speechless. Not even his two closest friends could bring themselves to say anything. But it wasn't out of bitterness, they just couldn't begin to think of anything to say.

Rei approached him, however. She didn't fully understand the situation, but had only worried about one thing; Shinji himself. She didn't see a person who had clearly harmed another, she just saw someone in need of comforting. She didn't say anything. She just sat with him, with her arms wrapped around her knees.

The surrounding troops wondered if sending the bickering pair back to Tokyo-3 had even been worth it. Things looked like they had only gotten worse.

NERV HQ, MAIN LOBBY ENTRANCE

3:37pm:

Misato was somewhat relieved that day. But only because today was a rare occurrence when she was allowed to sleep in for a few more hours. With Eagle Company having been busy setting up camp at the trails of Mount Katsuyama, there was no battle she needed to tend to at the moment. Makoto, as usual, had taken her lead while she was out.

She was about to enter HQ's main lobby, but was stopped when she heard the low-end growl of a sports car. Looking behind her, she saw a silver two-seater convertible pull up at the driveway. And of course, a familiar smirk staring her down.

"What in the world?" She uttered as Kaji proudly showed off his brand new ride. One of her eyes twitched at the sight.

"Hey Misato! Glad I ran into you! You mind handing something over to Ritsuko for me?" He asked as he pressed the yield button.

"Call her down yourself." She said as she turned back around to storm off. But before she could, Ritsuko walked through the main entrance.

"I already did. I just didn't see her anywhere." He explained in a more serious tone. He was a little frustrated at her refusal to forgive him for his hiding of information from her, but didn't confront her about. As usual, he kept his cool.

"Well look who finally got her beauty sleep." Ritsuko teased. Misato gave her the stink-eye in response.

"And you say that I'm the cranky one." Her blonde friend added, only making Misato even more irritated.

"How am I supposed to be happy with either of you after that bullshit you pulled over at the steakhouse? Ritsuko, I was really looking forward to hanging out like we did in the good old days!" She said to her, now sounding more upset than rather than annoyed.

"And to think that you guys still refuse to give me any information. I can keep secrets too, you know!" She complained to the both of them. Kaji and Ritsuko looked at each other, having been puzzled by what Misato had just said.

"You gave it to her, right?" Ritsuko asked Kaji. He nodded, swearing in his mind that he really did. Misato had no idea what they were talking about.

"Gave me what?" She asked the two of them desperately.

"That hard drive... you didn't give it a look, did you?" Ritsuko asked Misato, rubbing her forehead in frustration. Misato looked clueless.

"Hard drive? What hard drive?" She asked. Both Kaji and Ritsuko felt like facepalming right then and there. This was very much a 'Misato move'.

"You got too drunk to even remember we gave you a fucking hard drive..." Ritsuko explained. Misato went from angry to extremely embarrassed. There was no dodging this, she was definitely at fault.

"Ah... well, I-I'm sorry..." She said, avoiding eye contact with either of them.

"You should watch your drinking, Misato. I really hope you didn't lose it, I spent a good few hours working on it..." Kaji said to her.

Misato wished she could say something back to him, but she couldn't. She just stood there, looking like a child that had just had a tantrum be resolved by the simplest solution. Her face was slightly red.

"Well, I must be on my way now. Got a lot of important stuff on my plate that I've yet to resolve. Ritsuko, here you go-" He said as he handed her the package he was carrying for her. "-and Misato, tone it down on the drinking, alright?" He said before he revved up his car's engine.

He drove off, the loud engine catching everyone's attention as he went slightly above the speed limit. He was clearly very proud of his new vehicle. Misato and Ritsuko just watched as they eyed his car go off into the distance. Ritsuko looked inside the package, making sure Kaji had brought the very tools she had asked for. She then looked over at Misato, who was still very unsatisfied. Ritsuko rolled her eyes.

"God, does nothing appease you anymore?" She asked her purple-haired friend. Misato turned her head to face Ritsuko, having just thought of something else that didn't make sense.

"Where'd he get the money for that kind of car?" She asked. Ritsuko wasn't sure of what to say to her, but not because she didn't know the answer.

"No clue. Maybe he's just got a higher pay or something." She replied dismissively.

"You know what I think?" Misato asked as she turned to her old friend. "I think you're full of shit." She said aggressively, storming off into the lobby.

Ritsuko sighed, pulling out a cigarette to puff on as to relieve the irritation that Misato had just brought upon her. Before entering HQ again, she looked up at the Geo Front's holographic 'faux sky'.

'Your skies still look beautiful, mother. Even better than the real thing.'

MOUNT KATSUYAMA

5:28pm:

"You attacked her?" Kensuke asked in shock. He, Toji and Rei sat around Shinji in his foxhole, listening to the details of the story.

"Basically, yeah. She was berating me again, and I guess I just couldn't take it anymore. I pushed her around and yelled at her, but I didn't mean to hurt her. Ugh, I'm so awful..."

The two couldn't believe what they were hearing. They found it hard to believe that Shinji, of all people, would have such a violent reaction to something Asuka said. Though, they honestly didn't blame him. They had all felt like giving her a piece of their mind. But never to that level.

"Look, the Lieutenant's done enough for most of us in Unit-01 to at least wanna bitch-slap her. But damn, she must've really struck a chord. What did she say to you, if you don't mind me asking?" Kensuke inquired.

Shinji thought back to it, and remembered getting fired up at Asuka's constant throwing of insults at Rei, who he felt was undeserving of any of it.

"Ugh, I'd rather not say." He answered while looking the other direction. Something, however, didn't sit right with Toji.

"I dunno, man. Somethin's not clickin'." He said with his arms crossed.

"What? I just don't want to talk about it!" Shinji said defensively.

"No, not that! I mean the Lieutenant's panic attack ain't clickin'!" He explained.

"Y'know now that you mention it, yeah. It doesn't." Said Kensuke

"How so? Wouldn't you be panicking yourselves if someone were to attack you?" Shinji asked them. Toji shook his head.

"Shinji, this is Lieutenant Soryu we're talkin' about. That bitch has been through some craaazy shit! She's dodged so many bullets and avoided bein' blown to tiny bits from incomin' mortar fire. That shit ain't ever phased 'er!"

"Huh..." Shinji said back, now actually wondering what caused her to have the panic attack in the first place. Then they were all silent. They didn't say anything, but it was as if they all read each others minds.

"You... you don't think-" Kensuke began. Toji shook his head, so did Shinji.

"Perhaps it is some form of trauma?" Rei suggested, turning everyone's heads over to her.

"Woah, she speaks!" Toji joked.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I think we were all getting at that, too." Shinji said in reply to Rei's suggestion.

"Yeah, but what?" Kensuke pondered.

"Hard to tell. At this point, nothin' would surprise me." Toji let out. They had all figured something had scarred Asuka in her early life for her to act in such a narcissistic manner. But what they didn't even consider, was that she too had her limits. After all, she was just another person. Just like all of them.

"I might get court-matrialed for this..." Said Shinji, worrying about the possible legal battle that would ensue if Asuka decided to press charges.

"Don't think about it much, man. I mean that's always a possibility, of course. But don't get caught up in it. You'll just depress yourself even more." Kensuke warned him.

"How am I supposed to just not think about it?" Shinji asked desperately, raising his voice slightly.

"Calm down! Look, I know it's stressful. But honestly, what would you rather put up with? A court-martial, or all of this bullshit we've been putting up with all this time?" Kensuke said back, pointing towards the city.

He was right. A simple legal battle was a heaven compared to the horrors of war Unit-01 had faced in the past. But that wasn't what Shinji was worrying about.

"I'm not talking about the charges on me, Ken. I'm talking about-" He stopped. Toji and Kensuke were confused again.

"What, man? What're ya talkin' about, then?" Asked Toji.

"I guess I'd feel useless. Nothing more than a burden; a waste of everyone's time." He started. Toji and Kensuke listened as he went on, as did Rei.

"Being assigned to Unit-01, sent to eliminate Angels, even that crazy experiment Dr. Akagi pulled on me... all of that would be a waste. Worst of all, I would have proved nothing to father." He admitted.

"I thought you hated him, though?" Kensuke said.

"Of course I do. I always will, that fucker abandoned me and only brought me back into his life to risk mine! But deep down, even with all this hate I have for him... I always hoped I could finally prove myself. That I was worthy of his attention, and that maybe we could eventually work things out."

His friends remained silent.

"But now... now I know that won't happen. I still serve him no purpose." He said as he turned to look at the overview of the city.

"Sometimes, I think I may as well be dead..." His friends' eyes widened at his remark. Seeing him stare off at the overview, they could tell a little part of him was genuinely contemplating suicide. Before either Toji or Kensuke could say anything to him, Rei stepped up.

"Please don't." Was all she said. There was a hint of desperation in her tone, the first time anyone in the unit had ever heard some kind of expression in her voice. Shinji turned his head back to his friends, staring at Rei as she collected her thoughts.

"Suzuhara, Aida, may Ikari and I have some privacy?" She asked the two. They nodded and stood up to give the two some space. Shinji was really surprised. She had never talked much whenever there was some kind of discussion in his friend group.

"Please do not take your own life." She said to him. Shinji felt a painful tug in his heart, her kind (though very direct) words having hit him with full force. He began to tear up again.

"I- I won't... I'm just overwhelmed with emotion right now, Ayanami." He said in between sniffles. "I'm just tired of being so useless! I can't do anything right! I shouldn't even have been born!"

Rei felt the same painful tug in her heart at the self-loathing Shinji was going through. No matter what, he was always thinking of the negative. Expecting the worst, from everyone around him and most especially himself.

"Father sees me as just a tool anyway... and I've only made a mess of things out here! Look what I did to the Lieutenant, I've brought benefits to no one! I'm useless, and useless tools are thrown away! He's thrown me away before, he'll do it again!"

"You fear being useless? You fear having no purpose? Is that it?" She asked him. Shinji nodded.

"I have that same fear. Commander Ikari has enforced upon me that I will serve a greater purpose. That one day, the promised time will come and I will be the single most important thing to carry his plans out." She explained. Shinji narrowed his eyes at the mention of his father.

"Promised time?" He asked, feeling somewhat suspicious of his father's plans with her.

"I have no information regarding exactly what he has in store for me. But, he's instilled this idea of a 'sole purpose' for me. Whatever it may be, I do worry about losing that purpose. Whether I am injured, or I even perish in battle, I worry about not being able to do that for him."

Though Shinji was still no closer to knowing what her 'purpose' was, he understood.

"Ikari, while I understand your hateful feelings towards your father, you must know that failing him is the one thing I fear in my life. That is because I have no choice. You do." Rei said to him.

"What do you mean you have no choice? He isn't holding you against your will, is he?" He asked her, his instinct being to immediately villainize his father.

"No. It is of my own will. It is the one thing I owe him." She explained. "It is all I have ever lived for, Ikari..."

Shinji didn't know how he should feel about that. Her case was a strange one, since he had never met someone who was so seemingly isolated from other people as she was when growing up. It angered him that she saw his father as a good man, and saddened him that she had placed her sole purpose in pleasing just one person.

"...until recently, that is." She admitted, now getting his full attention.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked, not sure what about she was getting at.

"Ever since you saved me, I have been experiencing... new emotions. Sensations I had never felt before, thoughts and conflicts that I have never dealt with. I had never cared for anyone other than the Commander, until you saved my life out of kindness."

Shinji was very surprised. This was probably the most she had ever opened up to him about something. Though he always saw her as a person, this was the most human he had ever seen her being.

"I have found a new purpose; it is to make sure you are safe. Just like you did for me when you saved my life." She said. Shinji broke their eye contact, knowing he was going to cry soon.

"You are not a burden to me, Ikari. You are not a waste of my time. Please do not say such things about yourself."

Shinji felt his tears well up like the water behind a dam about to burst. Rei had grown all too used to seeing him cry. By now, she understood it was a common reaction of his when something upset or overwhelmed him.

At first, she thought of just waiting it out as she usually did. But seeing him in such pain had only made her want to comfort him so that his pain would end. She had this strange instinct to come closer to him.

She grabbed him by the shoulders, pulled him close, and gave him a hug. She didn't really know what she was doing, but she just went with it. Shinji froze for a few seconds, but eventually hugged back. She let him cry it all out, waiting patiently for him to recover.

"You will be okay, Shinji." She said to him. Her use of his first name did surprise him, but something else was ringing in his mind. Being held by her, and her telling him that he would be fine, something about it brought that familiar sensation he had gotten around her the first few times he'd seen her.

As he calmed down and gained composure again, he felt great. In just one talk with her, she had helped him more than his therapist back home had ever done in a single week.

"Th-Thank you, Rei." He said back with a smile. She smiled back.

NERV HQ, CORRIDORS LEADING TO TERMINAL DOGMA

7:03pm:

The large, menacing corridors were kept in the dark. Almost no light had lit the path to the high-security door that lead to Terminal Dogma. This was by far the deepest and most secretive level at NERV HQ. Only a select few personnel knew of its contents and had access to it.

Kaji found himself walking up to the door by himself. He had a flashlight with him just to be able to navigate at all down there. He was clad in a uniform, very similar to that of a high-ranking NERV officer.

So for him to wear something other than his usual clothes, something was definitely up. He finally reached the door, the sign reading;

L.C.L PLANT: CL3 SEG.
RECOGNIZING SYSTEM:
LOCKED
WAITING FOR PERMISSION KEY

He removed a card key from his pocket, and was about to swipe it to unlock the door. Just as he did, he felt the cold barrel of a PKD pistol push against the back of his head.

He froze and put his hands up, wondering how he hadn't heard anyone tailing him. He didn't know who it was at first, and was very tense at that moment. But upon turning around, he saw that it was Misato. It shocked him at first, but he wasn't about to keep a straight face around her.

"Well, look who it is! Can't say I'm surprised." He playfully said to her, albeit at the worst possible moment.

"So is this your real job? Or just a side gig?" She asked him sternly. He didn't answer, smirking as he usually did.

"Are you Ryoji Kaji, Special Agent, United Nations-NERV? Or Ryoji Kaji, Japanese Ministry of the Interior?"

"You know?" He asked her, genuinely surprised at the information she had found herself.

"Don't underestimate me! That shiny new car of yours spoke volumes about your salary. Sure enough, I find you aren't working for NERV alone. I'll keep this to myself for now. But I'm warning you, keep moonlighting, and you'll be dead. Do you really want to get yourself killed, Kaji?"

"No, I'm not worried about dying. Commander Ikari knows who I am, anyway. He just still finds me useful..." He said. "...I'm only sorry I had to hide this from you, Misato."

"I don't need your god damn apology! I wanted the truth!" She yelled, pushing her gun further into the back of his head.

"I take it you didn't find the information in the hard drive I gave you to be enough, then?" He asked her.

"Not at all. It's part of what made me look for the real truth myself. It's what made me follow you down here. And what do I find? The fact that you're a no-good double crosser."

"I'm glad. That's exactly what I wanted to happen." He said. Misato scoffed.

"This is no time for your smart-ass comments, Kaji! I will frag you right here, right now if I have to!"

Though it pained her greatly to have to say that to him, she saw him as a threat to NERV's work. She still believed NERV was on the good side in all of this.

"No no... That drive was meant to invigorate you. I wanted you to eventually find out about this, I just didn't expect it to be this soon." He explained to her. She was definitely not following.

"You want the truth? Because I know for a fact that you don't understand this organization." He said to her, now more serious than ever.

He swiped his card, granting him permission to enter. The door slowly unlocked itself, the sound of heavy machinery almost overpowering both their voices.

"This is what the Commander and your dear friend Ritsuko are hiding from you, Misato..."

As the door opened more and more, Misato got a good visual on what was hidden behind these walls this whole time. Her grip on her pistol loosened as the shock overtook her.

A large, cross-like structure. A monstrous pale-white being, with its hands nailed to said structure. It was a gargantuan human being, or so she thought at first. Its two legs were missing, in its place were several smaller legs hanging from a grotesque sight. Orange L.C.L leaked from the back of this being, the huge and mysterious spear object impaling it through the chest. And of course, a mask covered its face. On the mask, the same logo that SEELE had been known for was inscribed on it.

This was no human being. This was in fact, an Angel. And not just any Angel; the first Angel.

"N-No... it can't be..." Misato said. "No! This isn't it! This can't be it!"

"Sure it can." Kaji responded. "This is the Instrumentality Project. Project-E. This... is the beginning of everything."

'Adam...' Thought Misato. "Th-The first Angel... it's here?" She asked, as memories of Second Impact filled her head. She was beginning to sweat and her breathing got faster. Kaji gave her no response, as the answer was right in front of them. This changed everything.

"You're right..." She started. "...I really don't understand this organization. What could NERV want to do with an Angel, the first Angel in their very basement?"

"All the Commander told me,-" Kaji began. "-was that the beginning and the end, are one in the same."