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"What are you doing?"
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"Is that interesting?"
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"Yes…"
The World a Librarian Only Knows: Flag – 3.2
Before we knew it… I was already being led by the hand.
"Thought you would be silent for the whole session again. Guess I'm lucky you are talking at all,"
I nodded. I like the silence the library provides whenever I want to read.
"How would you… rate that book?"
"It sucks!" The boy before me said with a hint of annoyance. "At most, I'll give props to the writer for being factual but overall it isn't good. A rushed job if I have to evaluate it."
A little irked by the harsh criticism, I decided to ask something instead. "Do we… have to throw away the book?"
There was slight movement as our eyes met for the briefest of moments before he let the book down.
"Sorry,"
It was enough to let me know that said book was no good at all. Even though I find said book passible by my standards.
"I'd ordinarily let these kinds of works pass but we have like, a dozen of the same kind in stock. There is no point in keeping this book if it won't help."
At that I could only pout. Unsaid words were loud and clear to me despite the relative silence we shared. It wasn't up to par with the other books they had.
If I have to be honest, the relationship that me and Sena have is a strange one. I'm a person who likes reading for the sake of reading. There isn't a book I haven't read and there is a place for such works inside the library that is my mind.
Sena, however, treats the books as just tools for learning. A great source of information that may help with our everyday lives.
He doesn't love books per se. I just think that he only shares the same sentiments that everyone else have with my precious books.
That they're just that. Books.
Nonetheless, I will often enough find myself at odds with him. We often have silent clashes where no one would know or find out. Debates on whether such books are to be thrown away or not.
There was no victor but I find myself feeling depressed afterwards.
But for all the animosity we shared together, never have I once thought that his claims were baseless.
And that is because he is mostly, factually, right. Objectively speaking, books are tomes of knowledge passed down by others who have researched on this specific field. A valued resource where it was free for all.
But despite all of that, the both of us agreed on one thing. And that is that the free flow of information the internet is giving is, most often than not, a greater source of information. But, both of us agreed that finding accurate information is harder than it seems.
Still, I loathed this man. For he was not wrong. If there was times which he was wrong then he would amend for his mistakes. The type of guy who openly admits his mistakes.
But mostly, he would point out that said errors were also caused by the books he reads. Often, he would spot such mistakes and he would take it out on them.
And by them, I am referring to the books.
My views about him are close to that of a savage beast who tears down weaker prey. In my heart, I find that books have no faults. For it is the author's fault for making such mistakes in the first place!
Interestingly enough, what he is currently reading is a book guide about martial arts and how to handle spars correctly. You would be surprised by the number of people who actually borrow said book to improve either their training or club activities.
Honestly, I don't really understand why he would pick up the book at all. He isn't an expert on martial arts.
"If I have to compare this book with the other then… it is best used for those starting out. But!" He said with emphasis. "Most of the ones who borrow said books are in martial arts clubs or any sports related clubs. You seldom see others take interest in them."
I cannot refute him but I really want to smack the smug look he had on. In the end, this book is doomed to be recalled and get a refund. Of course, he fails to mention that the other books are too worn to use.
"We'll be using the money to get more copies of those, if that is what you are wondering."
Sometimes, I find myself wondering how this man is able to read my mind. Or am I just that obvious?
"It's obvious,"
Then stop reading my mind!
"Hehe," Sena laughed as I pouted. He knows that I don't like being teased but he does so anyway.
This would be the 5th time this month where we had to recall some books to get a refund. This guy has been coming by every few days evaluating all the new arrivals before placing them on our shelves.
Needless to say, the Student Council love him for it as it saves them the money for other projects they have to commit in.
I asked him if he liked the attention. For some reason he silently shook his head lost in thought. It was strange but I never asked about it nor did he clarify. I guess there are some things he isn't ready to say yet.
We spend our time like this. I would read the new arrivals and enjoy myself while this brute does the work of the library committee all on his own.
…it feels so wrong to have an outsider do our job.
The library committee looks up to him. Our president treats him really well despite being a guy and everyone else often flock to him to do their jobs for them.
I asked him once why he does said jobs. He told he gets paid by the hour and said, "'sides, I have nothing better to do."
Despite all of that, everyone pushed me to accompany him. Something about, getting along with a fellow classmate of the same year? I never really clarified as they push me to get along with him. Which we really aren't… much.
It took a while but Sena finished his side of this week's latest arrivals. He took note of the few books he deemed a need to return and recommended to buy new copies of the old ones in stock.
In the end, a few books will be leaving this library and I can't do anything to stop it.
Sena may not know this but every time I have to throw away a book… a bit of myself felt like crying. These books that no one else loves. I love with all my heart. And a piece of myself cries out in pain whenever I am forced to part with said books.
With nothing left to do Sena told me that he would come by the next day when he had time. I don't really know the reason why he keeps telling me this as I, if heaven allow it, don't want to see him ever again.
"See ya next time, Bookworm~" He teased as he left. I sent him an unsavory glare as we heads for the common room us librarians share to drop off his report.
I really loathe this guy.
I spent the rest of my day continuing to read before returning all the books I borrowed to the shelves and leave for the day. I felt that all my energy has been drained for the day.
At home, I continue to wander in my thoughts. How I wish to say what I want to say but couldn't most of the time. That I find myself powerless in a conversation and end up being awkward.
There was that one time I tried to communicate by writing an essay but… it just made things more awkward as I find myself holding on to stacks of paper with no one willing to read them.
Well, unless we exclude him. Sena once took the time to read my thoughts. A severely abridged one with only five pages worth of words pertaining to my recent issues.
Surprisingly, he took it well and a bond grew from that. Though it was a small bond it still felt like I accomplished something.
Sena commented that it was better if I voice my thoughts. I did try it once but I noticed midway that I was talking too fast for our conversation to make any sense.
Out of kindness, Sena manages to recall certain parts of our conversation but not all of them. And he even game his own opinion about certain topics that I chose.
With that we became… friends? Sena never really derails the conversation when we talk but we often find ourselves in an awkward position once the conversation ends.
This was especially so when I wanted to talk about the books he was reading. He would often give simple answers while we both read. Sometimes he would even nod his head while listening to me but not by much.
I guess the only thing we share in common is that we get lost in what we are reading once we become engaged in them. It was a pleasant surprise once I did notice it.
I took the next few hours catching up on a few books I had on my shelf on my own room. I have a healthy amount of books to read and since there isn't much homework to do I decided to indulge myself.
And with that I find myself waking up on my desk with the sun shining on my face.
..
The walk to school was spent absentmindedly wandering in my thoughts again. There wasn't a need for me to go to the library today as I needed to work on my studies for a bit.
On my way to class where some of my classmates are already there doing their own thing. I notice a seat a few rows away from mine being occupied by a familiar sleeping face.
It was Sena.
I found out around a month ago that Sena was actually in my class. Of course once I noticed I quickly went up to him and glared.
Sena looked confused for a moment before he asked if I didn't really notice that he was literally my classmate.
My glare softened by just a bit but it was still there!
It made sense to me why my upperclassmen wanted to push me towards this boy. We are in the same year in the same class. Practically, we can see each other every day.
'Don't we already do just that?' You may ask but I would like to remind you that after classes I immediately head for the library to read. I never noticed him until that one time I was passing around the papers after our test were graded.
After a few minutes of absently staring down at him. Sena took notice and tiredly opened his eyes, a soft smile present on his face.
"Am I in heaven? 'Cause all I see is an Angel~"
The nerve! How could you flirt so early in the morning!?
"Morning bookworm~ Need something from me?" He asked with that charming smile. A look of friendly relief reflected on his eyes as I look down on him.
"Didn't… get enough sleep?"
"Spent the night doing a lot of things. I slept at around ten at the evening before waking up at around five in the morning to do my morning rituals?" He lazily turns his head to look outside the window as gentle spring air enters the class.
"I got into class and found myself under the perfect conditions to seat back, relax, and close my eyes for a moment… you know~"
Sena silently yawns as he closes one eye still feeling a bit tired. For some reason, Sena acts differently while in class. When he is at the library, with me, I only see him take his task seriously. Like it was the only thing occupying his mind. Outside of his routine check-ups, no one really knows what he does.
Seeing him like this feels really out of place. A completely different person occupying the same body. A person I respect while at the same time loath from the bottom of my heart.
Speaking of which, Sena occupies one of the seats at the back of the class almost near the window. Someone occupies the seat to his left so he can't absentmindedly look outside as he pleased.
Even if he wanted to, he couldn't as someone else may mistake his unfocused gaze as something else…
"Stop that lecherous look, you pervert."
That it may be mistaken as sexual harassment by one another of our classmates.
However, this girl is someone else entirely. You can even say that, other than Sena, this person also is an anomaly in our class.
Or in this case, a girl who is practically a genius that common folk like myself can't relate to her.
"Fuse-san," I greeted with a slight bow of respect which she barely acknowledges.
"Fuse is being a short circuit again~ I guess that's one of the luxuries geniuses have."
Under the withering glare of the smartest girl in the grade, Sena indifferently jokes about her name like it was a common thing to do. Fuse-san didn't comment on that but I saw her raise her lips for the briefest of moments before returning to fixing her board.
"Do you want to play or not?" She asked as all the shogi pieces are in place.
"Fine but we only have a minute to make our move. That fine with you?" Sena asked as he got up from his seat and occupied the one in front of Aoba-san.
"It matters not, lowly one. I'll be taking another victory today." She said rather coldly. I felt sweat drop near my cheek but Sena chuckled at that.
"I'll let you have the first move,"
And with that the two set off in a bout of intelligent shogi playing.
You may ask yourself, 'Why are these two playing shogi?'
Well, the short answer would be is that this is a regular thing these two have on days when they are bored.
That's all of what I can grasp between them as Sena's smile turns excitedly predatory while Fuse-san had a look of mischief on hers.
I decided to ask them why they keep doing these games they do. Sena was the only one to answer while Fuse-san would give a nod to confirm or shook her head to deny any of his claims. This was a time when they were busy playing Old Maid.
Sena, during a certain afternoon earlier in the school year, decided to pester Fuse-san for something. He never clarified what it was or why. Abridging it in a way that made sense, Sena decided to annoy Fuse-san for her aloofness.
Of course, Fuse-san became annoyed and slapped him on the face. Undeterred, Sena challenges her to game of her choosing.
The game she picked… was tick-tack-toe… a game that even kids can play. Surprisingly, Sena won three times in a row which left Fuse-san furious.
He later told me, during our time reading that he let Fuse-san go first where he would always go for draws until he saw the opportunity to take control of the game.
Basically, he tricked and manipulated the flow of the game. The next two games were just her throwing his frustration at him.
From there the two would find themselves challenging the other to any contest they could think of. Be it mundane, practical, or challenging. They even set up rules they abide by whenever they fight.
There were only three rules and I only became aware of one of them when Fuse-san suggested doing contest of endurance. Sena shut her down and reminded her of rule number one.
Rule number one is that they would never do contest that may strain or cause harm to each other or anyone outside their little contest.
Since their contest happens only two or three times a week. The number of contest they can undertake came with significant preparation or on the fly improvisation.
Their contest became the talk of the school from time to time. How the two of them would challenge each other just to prove they are better at something.
It became so widespread that sometimes the teachers would even watch just to see how the game would go. While some students would bet with a small pool of money on who would win.
Sena, of course, would call for a draw when the contest was going nowhere and Fuse-san would agree.
Currently, Sena was winning their contest by a small margin. About three points, he would clarify when I asked. Fuse-san apparently, held an obsession of keeping tally of their scores.
That and I would notice from time to time the look of complete elation whenever she would claim victory.
It took them about twelve minutes before Sena gave up midway during the game. Sena gave Fuse-san a run for her money as he aggressively goes for the offensive. However, she solidly built up her defenses and Sena had no choice but to give up some of his units before he finally raised the flag.
"You win today, Fuse," Sena said as he raised his fist up.
"Just as planned," She said with a certain glow in her eyes. She ended up bumping fist with Sena which didn't look out of place for the two of them.
I guess Sena treats her as a friend now. Surprisingly, these two get along.
That was it for their contest for the day. Too bad only a few of our classmates get to see it but playing shogi takes patience and only a few are patient enough to see anyone play shogi.
The two put away the shogi board and returned to their seats satisfied for the day.
And the day went on with relative ease and nothing new to add.
Except that Sena was sleeping through class but that was a regular occurrence so no one paid any mind.
..
At the Library, Sena has come again to check out the new stock that just arrived. A few students are also here doing research or doing their homework.
"Don't… you… have a club to attend to?"
Sena shook his head. A solemn look stretched across his face as he continues to read in relative silence.
The two of us spent our time like this every day of the week. Or at least I do as Sena would be busy with other things he needed to do.
It was during this time that I was reminded that Sena used to be a part of the Enforcers. I heard from my committee president that Sena had a lot of influence in school and even though he isn't a part of them anymore he still has a bit of leeway when talking to authority. A fact that my president would love to squeeze out for all its worth.
"Can I ask you something?" I finally asked without the usual stutter I had.
"Go ahead,"
"Why did you leave the Enforcers? Were you not satisfied of the work they made you do? Or were you planning to leave anyway and wanted to do something else? Is it true that you have connections with the student council or perhaps the chairman himself? Why do you keep coming here even though you have no obligation to the library or the school anymore? Don't you spend time doing something else? Also, what do you do during the time you were away-"
I continued to ask my series of questions before Sena's hand was raised to stop me. I blushed as I once again realized what I did and I became silent once again.
I just sat there my whole body shaking. Afraid of what would happen next. I closed my eyes and feel my heart racing-trembling in fear. I knew I shouldn't have but in! I knew I should have just kept my mouth-
"Don't be afraid, Shiomiya." I heard a voice so gentle that it made my shivering stop. My dark world suddenly felt very warm and I can feel the assurance in his words.
"…" Silently but slowly I look up to him. He was sitting there, hands occupied with the book he was reading but his eyes were staring at me.
I don't know what look that was he was giving me. It felt so foreign that it nearly scared me. A reassuring smile made it to his face and I found myself heaving a silent sigh.
"It was the first time you talk to me," He said once again with clarity. I nodded my head as he continued. "You normally don't talk much. So hearing you ask so many questions like an excited kid surprised me."
Was I talking like that? I didn't realize and thought that it was normal. A moment of silence reigned as none of us continued the conversation.
I didn't know what to do and Sena may have picked up on that as he decided to answer my questions instead.
"I didn't leave the Enforcers," He started, a look of hurt leaked from his voice but his eyes were as cold as steel. "I was retired."
Not knowing how to react to that, Sena continued with giving me answers.
"Most of the work I do is usually paper work. There was the occasional patrol or the coordination of the other committees for routine inspection. Fights, or a lick of trouble however, is handled by yours truly."
A feral smile spread across his face as I unconsciously shivered.
"So yes, I was satisfied with my work." He said finally with a look of nostalgia.
It felt foreign to me how he considers his duties like it was his life's work. But some part of me, a deeper side of me, understood him in that part completely.
I recognized that without our passions for something we love… will there be anything else that would keep us going? Our lives becoming dull without really feeling like we belong to something.
Seeing Sena's eyes, I can tell that he lost the passion he once had. Worse, I couldn't even pity him for it. For I have not been on the same situation he was in.
"I wasn't planning to leave but I had to." He continued and I had to listen closely as I thought I heard him choke or stammer. "I do have connections with the student council. A part of the responsibilities of the Enforcers was to report to them by the end of the week. As for the chairman… I'll leave that to your imagination."
A small but silent smile was on his face but he was already looking away from me. I guess I poke at a sore spot of his heart.
"The reason why I come here? Well, I have nothing better to do so I just come here to read books. Of course, inspecting them was pushed onto me 'cause none of the committee members inspect the books. No offense by the way,"
I shook my head. I can understand why the others wouldn't do such a menial job but that would say something about Sena. He has the perseverance to spot any errors or mistakes the books have. To suggest to return it or throw it away when the standards of our school weren't met.
Of course, that was the reason I loathed him. But at the same time, I respected him for his work. I couldn't deny him that even if I tried.
"I do have a life outside of… well… this(?). But most of the time I just do errands." He clarified at the end, to my surprise. "I get paid to do some things or I get extra credit from faculty. So I spend most of my time doing that. Outside of that is the usual part-time job I am handling too."
That was surprising. I didn't think he had a part-time job on top of all the things he is doing up till now.
"You live… an interesting life…" I was barely able to say that but it ended up only being a whisper.
"Thanks," I turned to him and his smile returned this time. The look on his eyes was filled with joy. "Hearing that from you means a lot more than you think."
Without clarifying what he meant. We spent the rest of our meetings doing the same thing. But something changed that day, for the both of us and I no longer find his presence unpleasant.
..
Barely a week passed by with nothing out of the ordinary really happening. Today we are having a meeting about what to do with our new funds which we accumulated, with the help of Sena.
During our last meeting, we decided to invest on including a CD and DVD section in the library. Right now, we are deciding how we are supposed to go with that.
"We have the CDs and DVDs on storage now and the players to go along with it but we don't have the necessary space to put it in." The chairman declared as everyone listened to the meeting.
"I decided to ask for the advice of the student council and they gave me two options to choose from." She said as she move to the chalk board behind her and began writing.
"Our first option is to cram the booth in with the media section of the library… but the problem with that is we don't have the time to move it all in there. That and we need to renovate the whole area just to fit the entirety of the CD and DVD section."
I don't have a problem with doing that but the rest of the members in these meeting have mixed expressions on their faces. Some of them look annoyed while some have troubled looks on. I have no idea what is going on in their heads.
"Or," She continued ignoring everyone's reaction to the first option. "We can move out a few books to have space for the new resources."
I unconsciously stood up, earning the interest of the rest of the committee.
"Yes, Shiori-chan? Is there something you want to add?" The chairman asked calmly as I try to think of what to say.
My thoughts were jumbled as I was currently processing the idea of having to throw out books from the library. This already happened once but those were the unusable ones. We can't throw the rest out just to have a new booth installed!
"…" Is what I wanted to say but no words would come out.
Completely flustered, I had no choice but to return to my seat and do nothing as the rest decided to vote.
Inevitably, everyone agreed with the second option and everyone was dismissed.
I hated myself. I hated myself for being like this. For not being able to say what I want and only ending up not talking at all.
I don't like it. I never wanted to be this powerless in conversations. But this time, my lack of self-confidence has come to bite me in the back.
The past returns to me once again. During my childhood, at a time where I tried to communicate more. To get out of my own bubble.
But my shyness was mistaken for something else and this earned me the ire of certain girls back then.
My experience with that only made things worse as I tried to bond with someone over a subject we can relate to. However, the means I tried to communicate only made things awkward.
Looking back, it should have been obvious that writing a hundred page paper about the television series we liked was not the best of ideas I had in the time.
This further ostracized me from everyone and I was left to find comport with the only source of happiness I found.
Books. Books that do not judge you and accept you for who you are. My only solace and comfort in the world I was in. That I was alone in. Thanks to these words of text that I continue to read every day made the pain of being alone that much bearable.
Often times, I would hear how I was a weird and strange girl from not only my classmates but also from the teachers. I ignored them and spent my time imagining myself in the world where the books reside.
A fantasy world with dragons and magic. A science fiction setting with lasers and spacecraft on outer space. Or, on the occasion, an adventure on our own world. Of places I wish could see with my own eyes but couldn't.
Such books held a special space in my heart. And because of that, I would do anything to make these books safe.
But again, because of my lack of courage, I have failed them once again. And now, this pain, this old pain resurfacing is threatening to tear me apart.
I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…
I-I wish I was stronger. I wish I can finally say what I wanted to say out loud!
But I can't! I don't have the courage to! In the end I am just afraid of being shunned again. To be left out. I don't want that anymore.
I… I want to be able to talk like everyone else…
But… that is never going to happen the way I am now.
So… I decided to have someone do it for me in my stead.
"…" The usual routine with Sena; complete silence. If what they said about him is true then this boy will certainly help me.
"Is something on my face? You've been staring intently for a while now."
Sena closed the book he was reading and turned to address me. This was my chance. On my hand is a pamphlet detailing about the new booth to install next week in the library. All I have to do is tell him and hope that he will understand.
"I…" I tried to say but once again I froze on the spot. The fear once again laying claim to my heart.
Sena didn't move his eyes away as he waited patiently. We sat there in silence for a good ten minutes but Sena didn't drop his gaze from me. Of course, this didn't help me. As I couldn't say anything under his intense gaze.
That's when he closed his eyes. At that instant, I felt a sudden calm on the horizon. I blinked, the fear disappearing like it wasn't there in the first place.
Taking this chance, I finally told him what I wanted to say.
"I want you to help me," Sena didn't open his eyes but I can tell the slight nod of his head told me to continue. "They-We, are installing a new booth."
"So I heard," He said without really looking at me. Keeping his eyes closed. Strangely, it felt reassuring that he was this considerate of me. "Aren't you happy?"
"No… I'm not." I admitted, surprised I actually said it out loud or as loud as I know I can be. "They want to remove a section of books to make room for the booth."
Sena finally opened his eyes but this time I can tell that no more fear creeps around the corners of my mind. He listened patiently for me. And I… I wish I can do more for him. To let him know that I appreciated him.
Sadly, I don't have anything I could give. Maybe one day, I can do something for him like he did for me. I'll keep that on my notes on my smartphone.
"What do you want to do?" He asked as he turns to look at me once again. I can almost feel the security and gentleness of his voice. I slightly shook my head before I could give an answer.
"I want to stop that. I want to keep the books here even if only a few of us read them." I know I am being unreasonable but I think that this is worth fighting for. "I know I am going against my peers for books but-"
"I understand," He said as he stood up from his seat across from me. "The look on your eyes. I can tell you have resolved to do something about this."
I nod but something felt wrong. A nagging feeling at the back of my mind telling me that direction I was heading wasn't the right path.
Sena went closer to me and took a seat right next to me. At first, I wanted to move away but I told myself to stay. I need his help and I have already went this far.
There is no turning back now…
I heard the whispers from the corners of my thoughts.
I decided to try and raise a complaint with the committee. Something I don't usually do but it was a start. Sena supported me with this decision but he has other plans. It may take him some time, as he told me, but if he can get a few signatures from a number of our students then we can reverse the decision of the committee.
"If need be, I can even have the student council involve. They can't ignore the overwhelming number of students who don't want a section of the books they love missing."
This is the first time I heard of this. There were others who also feel the same way as me? Somehow, it feels reassuring that I am not alone in this.
"Go ahead and launch a complaint. I'll go ahead and round up a few students."
We only have until the end of the week before the committee goes ahead with their plan. That would be this Saturday, two days before they take action. I have literally have forty-eight hours to make things happen. I won't let Sena's help go to waste.
..
Or so I told myself but something happened.
"We'll be moving the books out on Friday," The president told me after I came early to send a complaint letter to them.
"Some of our members won't be available on Saturday so we'll be working tomorrow to move the books out." She smiled but all I can see is my whole world crumbling before me. "I hope to see you tomorrow, Shiori-chan~"
The cold hard reality hits me like a train coming to the station and flashing cold water on a rainy day. That time was almost up. That I only had less than twenty-four hours to overturn the decision of the Library Committee.
As this reality sinks in, the letter on my hands falls to the ground forgotten as a single thought enters my head. "What should I do?"
To be continued…
Author's Note: I should let you guys know that my situation isn't the best right now. I won't give the specifics as this involves family so you know how it is.
On a more important note to you guys, I am sorry it took this long to literally write a chapter for Shiori. I underestimated her character too much and wasn't prepared on how to interact with her. She literally is the embodiment of shyness. In manga form, it can be written off as good work but like this it feels really weird.
I was cycling through ideas most of the time while I was writing this. I had a total of ten rewrites, reached five writer's blocks, and scrapped at least two or three scenarios on the original manuscript before I settled for this one.
I'll also let you guys know ahead of time that Shiori will have the shortest arc in this whole series. Well, it doesn't mean you won't see her often.
I believe we said this before, with my Co-Author Chief that scenarios would be different. In this case, the timeline is different. Or literally, the scenario of events.
Real-time, Keima has a set of girls he captures right? Well, we originally had this idea pitched that we would use the time, on this case the days and weeks that make up the original story, as a plot device.
In this case, the scenarios of each girl Keima meets… or how I plan to make it flow will change. Now here's a bit of a spoiler for all of you fans out there. Which girl so far hasn't made an appearance from the original girls?
There you have it. I won't spoil much as I already told one of you my plans for this story. I plan to make it come to light and then from there I would like to hear feedback. Also I'll do a poll soon asking which girls you want to see next. The girls not on the poll are already have a fixed position on the story so you will meet them too.
Hope you guys like this chapter so far. The next one will be completely unexpected from everything so far. So please have the patience to read it through!
Love,
Alewar Warinot.
P.S.
I am not dead.