-27 DAYS EARLIER-

MAY 15th, 2015

REI'S APARTMENT

6:18am:

"Can you describe to me... what love is?" Rei asked.

Misato was most certainly not expecting that kind of question from her. The topic of love came out of absolutely nowhere, but she wasn't about to dismiss Rei's question. The girl was emotionally stunted, after all. But she was also curious as to why Rei brought it up in the first place.

"Um, wow. Bit of a tough question there... I mean, what kind of 'love' are we talking about here?" Misato asked her.

Rei, at this point still puzzled about her feelings for Shinji, knew she cared a lot about him. But having seen that couple hold each other the previous night made her wonder what the hug she gave Shinji really meant. There was no way she really knew how to describe it, since she had never really loved anyone before.

"I'm not certain." She answered honestly. "I know what the textbook definition of love is... but I do not recognize how it feels. Tell me, how does it feel to love someone?"

"Hmm..." Said Misato. "Again, it depends on the kind of love. There's familial love, which is a vital part of growing up as a child. You know, the love you have for your mother and father... and vice versa. Then there's cordial love; the one you have for your friends and the times you've spent together."

None of this sounded all that familiar to Rei at all.

"When it comes to the love of family, I can't really describe any feeling I get from it. For me, it's just always been a part of growing up." Misato continued, having suddenly been reminded of her father. "Well, for the most part anyway..."

"And what about cordial love? How does that feel to you?" Rei asked.

"That one's a little different. The love of one's friends, at least for me, was always more of an exciting feeling. Like calling your friends up and going someplace else to hang out or to just have a laugh. Maybe have a drink or two... that's what I recall it feeling like; fun." Misato described.

Still, none of this rung a bell to Rei. Misato knew none of this was really getting through to her, so she brought up the last kind of love she could think of.

"And then there's love in the romantic sense." She said. That one seemed to have caught Rei's interest most of all.

"Yes... please describe that one to me."

"Well-" Misato began. "-this one is probably the most special one of all. It's when you meet someone that you like more than you do other people, be it for their looks or if they make you happy. Maybe you even like them to the point of wanting to spend time with them any chance you get. At a certain point, you may feel like you don't ever want to separate from them. Like they've become an important part of your life that you only want more of, and couldn't imagine losing."

Now this Rei was finding familiar. It was all checking out; that magnetic pull she felt towards Shinji, the pain she felt at having to let his hand go, and the feeling of being cared for she got from him that was now missing along with the boy. It was like Misato had just said, he had become a big part of her life. And now that he was gone, her life hollowed immensely.

Now Rei was thinking about that warmth she was always getting whenever she was around Shinji.

"Does this kind of love bring about a physical sensation?" She asked.

'Physical? Could she be talking about-?' Misato pondered, immediately shaking off the dirty thought that came to her mind. 'No, come on Misato... take this seriously, she needs your help.'

Rei waited patiently, but wondered why it was taking Misato so long to answer her.

"What exactly do you mean by 'physical', Rei?" The purple-haired woman asked, just to make sure she wouldn't bring up something embarrassing.

"What I mean is... does this kind of love bring about some kind of sensation within you? Does being around someone you wish to be romantically involved with make you feel strange inside? Perhaps even... warm?" Rei elaborated.

Now it was all beginning to make sense.

"Oh... yeah! Definitely. That's when your attraction for the person overtakes you, and makes you act differently around them. It isn't the same for everyone; some people get really shy and reserved, while others try projecting some sort of image to impress whoever it is they like. It feels even better when you manage to get intimate with your loved one." Explained Misato.

Rei nodded as she looked away. What she was just been told had confirmed it, her feelings for Shinji were those of love after all.

"That kind of love is a beautiful thing... but it can hurt if you're not careful." Misato warned, which caught Rei's attention again.

"How can love hurt?" She asked.

"Depends. Sometimes you can love someone that doesn't love you back quite the same way, and that can be painful to accept. Some people just can't take that kind of rejection, so they don't even bother with love at all. And sometimes you might fall out of love with a person, or it could be the other way around. Either way, having to leave a person or having them leave you is just heartbreaking." Said Misato, now thinking of Kaji.

She still loved him, she couldn't deny that truth to herself anymore. But her attraction to him deeply troubled her. Yes, she loved Kaji more for who he was than she did for his looks. But the realization that she only got with him in the first place because he subconsciously reminded her of her father freaked her out, and understandably so.

Misato had to leave him for her own sake, and though she hated having to hurt him like that, there was no alternative for her. Having thought back to her attraction to Kaji, she now realized why Rei was asking about love. Misato grinned ever so slightly, which Rei didn't notice.

'I get it now...' She mused. 'She has feelings for Shinji, but doesn't know that what she's feeling for him is love.'

Rei was intrigued. Now that she knew she did in fact love Shinji, she wasn't sure if she should even pursue any kind of romantic relationship with him based on what Misato was telling her. Rei cared a lot about him, but feared she'd only hurt him if things didn't work out. That was the last thing she wanted.

'But at this point in time, I do not even know if I will ever see him again.' She thought depressingly.

"This is about Shinji, isn't it?" Misato asked her.

"Ah-" Rei let out, not ready for the question at all. "Y-Yes... it is."

Misato was saddened by the tone of her voice. Judging by what Ritsuko had told her happened the day before, she was now fully understanding what caused Rei's unusual behavior. Shinji's disappearance must've hit her hard to have made her cry for the first time in her entire life. And yet at the same time, Misato found this extremely heartwarming.

She was always teasing Shinji about his crush on Rei, but she didn't know that he actually managed to connect to her on such a level.

"Oh Rei... I'm sorry that his disappearance has hurt you so." Misato said to her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Rei didn't say anything, instead having teared up a little. She now knew that she was in love with him, but it may have been too late. The life she didn't even realize she had grown so tired of was now all she had left, and the only chance she had to change it wasn't there with her. Shinji was taken from her.

"You do not need to apologize. It is not your fault, Major." Rei told her.

"The name's Misato." The older woman said back, much to Rei's surprise. "Yes, you have an obligation to refer to me by my rank when in battle, but we're not currently on duty. Please, call me Misato."

"I do not wish to disrespect you..." Rei added, still sounding very gloomy.

"Oh please... calling a friend by their name is not disrespectful!" Misato said to her with a bright smile, despite not feeling very happy herself.

'A friend.' Thought Rei. 'Another friend...'

"Thank you, Misato." She said, weakly smiling back.

Rei's new friend let go of her shoulder, and even shed a few tears of her own. She was hit hard by his disappearance as well, and was happy that she could talk to someone about it other than Ritsuko, who was more caught up in recovering him as a job than she was in the emotional toll of possibly losing him.

"So...-" She began. "-you and Shinji, huh?"

"I think I love him, Miss Misato." Rei admitted. "He was always so concerned for me, and no one has ever cared about me in such a way. I wish I had more time with him, and that I could have told him about the way I felt. But up until now, I did not understand my feelings for him."

Rei looked down once more and sighed defeatedly.

"I am not sure he even returned these feelings, but I would have liked for him to know the truth." She added.

"Who said he wouldn't return these feelings, Rei?" Misato questioned, knowing that not to be the case at all.

"It is just a possibility." The blue-haired girl replied.

"I find that very unlikely." Misato tried assuring her. Rei appreciated Misato's attempt to cheer her up, but she wasn't so inclined to believe her at first.

"How could you be so sure?"

"Because-" The older woman said as a grin emerged on her face once more. "-he's had a fat crush on you for a while now."

Rei blushed a little.

"He... takes an interest in me as well?"

"Oh of course he does! He was always acting like such a klutz when he talked about you, and got so embarrassed whenever I joked with him for so obviously liking you. And when you called my house phone asking to see him... oh, you should've seen the look on his face! It was adorable." Misato said, her grin now bigger than ever.

So Shinji did like her. It explained why he was always so concerned for her in the first place, despite her not having (as Rei herself would put it) a purpose to serve for him.

"Not to mention he actually told me in his own words that he liked you. Though to be fair, I did kind of squeeze it out of him..."

Now Rei was speechless, her cheeks turning redder after having been told that.

"Funnily enough, he didn't look too different from how you look now..." Misato added playfully.

Her remark was followed by an awkward few seconds of silence, and broken by a light chuckle that Rei let out, much to Misato's surprise.

That momentarily blew her mind mind. She had believed Ritsuko when she said that Rei was acting like a completely different person, but it was hard to really picture another expression besides the usual flat stare on the girl's face.

"I am glad we had this talk, Miss Misato." Rei said to her.

Then the mood lightened up a bit. And for the first time since Shinji was gone, Rei was not feeling so alone anymore.

-PRESENT DAY-

JUNE 11th, 2015

GENDO'S OFFICE, NERV HQ

10:12am:

As Rei entered the office along with the Commander himself, she tried her best to avoid his gaze as much as possible. She didn't know what Gendo needed from her now, since he and Dr. Akagi would have usually told her ahead of time about them. Whatever the reason, Rei had a strange feeling this meeting would be different somehow.

Gendo walked to his chair and seated himself.

"Sit. We need to have a talk." He ordered.

Rei didn't answer at first, distracted by her thoughts that lingered on the moment she had with Shinji not too long ago. She definitely didn't want to be there, so her mind immediately thought of something that would comfort her. She longed for this to be over as quickly as possible just so she could go back and see Shinji again.

"Rei-" Gendo said impatiently. "-you are to give me your undivided attention when I speak to you."

Rei quickly regained her focus and sat just as he had told her to. Ever since that day she got in hot water with both the Commander and Dr. Akagi, she had been extra careful and did whatever she was ordered to do. Only now, she hated every second of it.

"This connection you have established with my son... it ends now." He told her. "He will end up being nothing but a distraction. It is best you keep your distance from him, as he will only get in the way of your true purpose."

Just as she had suspected.

"There is no problem, Commander. " Rei said, now nowhere near as accepting of everything he had to say to her. "I can easily balance my professional life with my personal one. Shinji is no distraction to me."

Gendo hated how she refused to back down.

"You don't seem to understand... you have no say in this. I am ordering you to stay away from him."

"Why?" She asked.

"This relationship is taking a toll on your emotional state. I cannot have you going out to battle under such extreme emotional bouts, it is for your own good."

The Commander pulled some files from his desk and dropped it right in front her. Rei didn't really understand what he was trying to show her, but recognized that the files were medical. Shinji's name was printed on it, and judging by his need to show this to her, she could tell that it must've been incriminating.

Then Gendo pointed at the results of Shinji's blood test.

"There was BR-ZRK found in his bloodstream at the time of his admission at the medical center." He explained. "Shinji is clearly mentally unstable to have taken such a drug... you should not be around someone like him."

Rei was a little dumbfounded at first, having assumed that Shinji would never do something like this. It did, however, explain how he was able to stay alive so long after being shot. The drug itself was very dangerous and illegal, but it appeared to have saved his life.

'And for that I am grateful.' She mused.

"His life was on the line, Commander. I think his use of it actually managed to save him. In fact, it is very possible that he wasn't the one who injected it into himself." Rei theorized.

"That makes no difference. It was in his system, and the use of this substance is strictly prohibited if you serve your country." He quickly rebutted.

"No difference? Commander Ikari, if he wasn't the one who injected it, then he should not be accused of a crime he didn't commit." She argued.

"What's done is done, Rei. He will be discharged from NERV as soon as he has made a full recovery." Gendo said sternly.

He could see that this had very much upset Rei, as she was looking down and upset.

"It's just as I had feared... you are very attached to him." He added. "This is exactly my point. Without him, it is very possible that you might lose the will to fight NERV's battles. This is the risk of attachment. It distracts you from your duties, and can possibly bring even more pain into your life. Look at yourself, you are hurting because of him. Is this what you wanted? Is caring for another worth the pain it brings? No. So I will tell you once more... this ends now."

Rei sighed, which surprised Gendo a little.

"I am willing take that risk." She said to him flatly.

She wasn't making it easy for him to separate her from Shinji, but Gendo wasn't giving her much of a choice.

"I cannot allow that. It is too great a risk for you."

Rei was feeling more frustrated as the minutes passed. Not only was this taking her precious time with Shinji away, but Gendo was trying his hardest to separate the two from each other. Despite her frustration at the man, she kept her calm facade, not wanting to give in to her emotions again and risk a more strict control over her. But most importantly, she wanted to be with Shinji. They were close again, and Gendo was threatening to distance them.

She was not about to let that happen, not after having just gotten him back.

"Well it is my risk to take, then." She tried kindly declining.

So far, nothing was working at all. Rei was adamant to keep Shinji in her life, no matter what the Commander had to say about it. Seeing that she was being rather defensive about it, Gendo tried a different, albeit manipulative approach.

"Listen Rei, you might end up only hurting yourself." He tried reasoning. "This is about your own well-being. Getting too close to another person can bring great pain into your life. Humans are such sad creatures... and often times these relationships never truly last. Shinji may make you happy for the moment, but what will you do if he leaves you? Or if he perishes in battle? What then?"

Rei wasn't buying this 'concerned parent' act he was putting on for her. She could see right through it, and thought back to the conversation she had with Misato.

The Major had been much more of a caring parent for a single month to her than Gendo ever was her entire life. Everything she talked to Misato about that day was about Rei's self-discovery, and she had managed to instill a positive mindset into Rei. Now all the Commander was talking about seemed like an attempt to undo all that progress.

"When I walked in on you two... my eyes were not deceiving me, now were they? You two were about to share a kiss, were you not?" He asked.

Rei didn't answer him, only assuring him that that's what they were going for.

"Do not indulge in such things. Now for your age group, it makes perfect sense that you would want to experience physical intimacy with another. But listen to me when I say it is nothing more than a mental trap, Rei. It feels good. Too good. Once you get a taste-" Gendo explained before stopping suddenly.

He stared at Rei, and thought of Yui again.

"-you will only want more." He finished. "Don't put yourself through that... this attraction you have for my son is a problem, do not carry further with it."

She really didn't like hearing that.

"Why is my love for Shinji a problem?"

"Love?" Gendo questioned, as if insulted. "No... what you feel for him is not love."

Now he had gone too far for her liking. Rei's resentment towards the Commander had built up more over time, but now she was just angry. Angry at his lack of empathy. Angry at him. She could put up with his orders, but she refused to let him pretend to know her better than she did herself.

"You lack an understanding of your own emotions, Rei. You could not possibly know what love really is-"

"I know what love is!" Rei said abruptly.

She had just raised her voice at him, for the very first time in her life.

And then Rei instantly worried that she had just overstepped her boundaries, knowing her defiance of Gendo's nonsensical orders was already risking it a little too much. But even knowing that, she felt great when she did it. It seemed this anger inside her had been building for quite some time, maybe even longer than she previously suspected.

'Just how long have I truly resented him for?' She wondered. 'This feels like something I have wanted to do for some time now...'

Gendo stared at her coldly. He was not happy. Rei was no longer just a tool of his, and was striving to live for herself. It was no longer about what he wanted from her, or what he needed from her. She was going to live for herself now. And he was not happy about it.

"Is that so?" He asked her, to which she nodded back nervously to. "That is your final decision, then?"

Rei nodded once more.

"Very well." He said, letting her off rather easily. "You are dismissed."

At first she wasn't even sure what to say, or if he was playing some kind of trick on her. But she saw that he just didn't want to talk about it anymore. She thought that maybe, just maybe he was actually being sincere and had finally given up on trying to convince her to keep away from Shinji.

"Yes sir." She said before she made her exit.

Once she was out of his sight, Gendo sat back down on his desk and had a very important call to make. He dialed in a number, and placed the phone next to his ear. In his mind, what needed to be done, needed to be done his way. There was no alternative.

He was going to make sure things would unfold as he wanted them to.

MEDICAL CENTER

10:44am:

Something felt off about how the Commander had easily accepted her final word. She was hoping, almost praying that it was true. But she knew he was never one to back down easily from getting what he wanted. As she walked down the halls to meet with Shinji once again, she hoped she could finally give him that kiss she had longed for.

Rei felt warm once again just thinking about him.

When she first went for a kiss, she wondered if things were moving along too quickly for his liking. All she wanted now was to be with him, after not seeing him for so long. That time away from him made her want to value and take advantage of every chance she had with him.

So when he also leaned in closer, all she could think about was finally getting to close that gap.

Then some interesting thoughts came to her mind. If they ever got to finally kiss each other, where would they go from there? All she wanted now was to be in his arms again, and to feel his warmth. Suddenly, she was thinking of hugging him and never letting go. All this anticipation was making her a little nervous, but something else was creeping in on her.

A strange, new feeling. Yet another to add to the list of new sensations she had been discovering.

This feeling was exciting. The warmth was still there, but something felt different about this one. It wasn't just some emotional love she was feeling now, but some kind of physical one. All she knew about it was that it was directly related to Shinji. Rei wasn't thinking all that much about it, though. She was actually enjoying this strange new sensation within her. And she knew she wanted Shinji to feel it with her.

Like some kind of physical experience she could share with him.

'Become one...' She thought as she continued down the hall to see him again. 'I... want to become one with Shinji.'

But something strange caught her eye. As his room came to view, there were some officers standing outside his door looking very serious. She could hear some kind of commotion coming from the room, and immediately she could tell something was seriously wrong.

She rushed over at once, only to be stopped by one of the officers.

"Excuse me Miss-" He said to her. "-this room is currently off-limits. Please turn back around."

"What is this? Where is Shinji?" Rei asked him, completely ignoring what he had to say to her.

Just as she had asked that, two more officers exited the room with Shinji, whose hands were cuffed behind his back. He hadn't made a full recovery, so his chest still ached considerably as they dragged him out the hospital room.

"Hey, what the hell did I d- Ow! Watch it, I'm still sore! Where are you taking me?!" He yelled in utter confusion as the officer continued to forcefully push him around. 'What the actual fuck is going on?'

"Miss, you must leave the area now!" The officer ordered once more. Rei still ignored him.

"Shinji!" She managed to call out.

"R-Rei?" He said in a daze, still trying to make sense of what was going on. "Rei!"

He tried throwing himself towards Rei's direction but was met with retaliation. One of the officers tripped Shinji and pinned him down. He grunted loudly, prompting Rei to try and step in herself only to be pushed back by the other officer.

"Ah!" She let out as she landed hard on the ground.

"Hey! Leave her out of this!" Shinji demanded in between his own grunts.

"Shinji Ikari, you are hereby under arrest for possession and use of an illegal substance whilst serving in the battlefield." The officer plainly spelled out.

"Wait what? You guys got the wrong guy! I don't do that kind of-"

And then it hit him.

It was BR-ZRK that had momentarily revived him back at the base. He remembered Toji being there too. He had completely forgotten about that. The drug swimming through his system actually wasn't his doing at all, and he immediately thought of telling them that he was unwillingly given it. He just as quickly realized why that would be a terrible idea.

'No, wait... if they found out Toji was the one that gave it to me, he'd be the one getting in trouble.' He realized. 'Shit, I'm really gonna have to ride this one out for him.'

In a strange way, Shinji felt that what was happening made a lot of sense, given how he always found himself in a cycle. The cycle of becoming happier, and it never lasting. Something bad was always on the horizon for him.

'I mean, of course. Of fucking course...'

"You're being detained for your own good, son. Now quit making this harder for yourself than it needs to be." The officer warned as he roughly pulled Shinji into a kneel.

He grunted once more, still feeling his chest ache the more he was suddenly jolted by the people he was being arrested by.

He was then escorted out by the two men, while the other two followed and promptly left Rei behind. When the commotion started, some of the hospital staff and even patients stood by to spectate. But with the officers now leaving the scene, everyone resumed their normal duties to avoid the intimidating men.

Rei found herself sitting on the floor of the halls. She was alone again.

She was trying to make some sense out of everything that had just transpired. The timing of it all just seemed too weird, and more than coincidental. It had to be the Commander's doing. There was no way it could be anything else.

He said that Shinji would only get discharged after he recovered. But when she came down to see him, he was being arrested rather violently.

Rei knew it. There was no way he was letting them off that easily. Her anger came back, this time really strongly. Gendo had just put Shinji away, after Rei had only just gotten him back. Her anger kept getting worse, until all she thought about was Shinji.

Then sadness overtook her.

Her lip quivered ever so slightly as she remained seated on the floor. Her second chance, now also gone with the wind. It was taken away from her in the most unfair and downright cruel way. On top of that, it was all one man's fault. Rei finally stood up and entered the room Shinji was just taken from.

She closed the door behind her and eventually sat down on the bed Shinji had presumably been dragged out of. The sheets were still somewhat warm.

Knowing Gendo as a man who never backed down, Rei had no idea if she'd ever see Shinji again. Now she didn't know what to do anymore. She didn't know how she'd even face Gendo again after what he just did to Shinji, and feared that he and Ritsuko might begin taking more extreme measures to put her in line.

That was it. Her life was about to revert back to the soulless husk it was before. She laid down on the hospital bed, holding the sheets tightly to get every last bit of the warmth Shinji left behind. Yet another day where more tears were shed. Rei closed her eyes, not caring that she shouldn't be in that room and could get in trouble for it.

She just closed her eyes, and wished for that day to end.

11:00am:

'No... no... no... ah, there it is!' Thought Ryoji Kaji as he finally found the number of Shinji's hospital room.

He had asked Misato about it earlier that day, and decided he'd check in on the boy when he would probably be in a better condition to talk. More specifically though, he wanted to just talk to him and see what was going on his mind. After everything that happened, he knew he'd need to be filled in on certain things that had gone on while he was in the core.

Misato told him that he would most likely be up around this time. She had also specifically told him that she was coming at a certain time, and that he should come before or after she had gone to see Shinji. Kaji, being Kaji, chose to show up at exactly 11 in the morning.

The very hour Misato told him she'd be there.

So the look on her face when the two made eye contact just as they approached his door, Kaji found absolutely priceless.

"Kaji, you moron! You showed up exactly when I told you I'd come see him!" She whined, irritated by the expanding grin on his face. "Ugh! You did this on purpose, didn't you? I knew I shouldn't have told you..."

'Oh, she complains now. But when it's time to get under the sheets-' He thought while suppressing a chuckle. '-whole different story.'

"So which one of us goes first?" Asked Misato with loads of attitude.

"Oh come on! You're more mature than that... I think we can both go in to see him together like the mature adults we are!" He said back to her.

'Mature? You? Yeah right...' She thought. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But don't you dare try pulling any funny business on me in front of him, got it?"

"Geez, Misato! I'm no bad-mannered pig, if that's what you really think of me!" Kaji said before getting closer to her whispering; "And keep in mind, you're the one who drunkenly asks to hook up with me every once in a while..."

He was met with a finger flick to his nose, which surprisingly hurt more than it should have.

"Not the best sport, then?" He joked once more.

"Let's just go in and see him already... you're wasting my time!" Misato said to him.

He nodded and knocked on the door. There was no response. They figured he might've still been asleep, but knocked once more just to make sure. Still no reply. They both assumed he was just asleep, but wanted to check in on him anyway. Kaji now opened the door, and they both walked in to make sure he was okay.

But once they looked over at the hospital bed, Shinji wasn't even there. It was Rei that took up his bed, making everything about the scene even more strange.

"What the- Rei?" Misato said, having been not only confused, but concerned once she saw Rei's expression.

Both Kaji and Misato were hit with a bad feeling. Something was seriously amiss here. And by the looks of it, whatever happened was really bad. Rei sat up and faced the two, not being able to hide the great pain she was feeling.

"Rei what's going on?" Misato asked worriedly. "And... where's Shinji?"