JUNE 11th, 2015

UNDERGROUND EMERGENCY FACILITY

5:58pm:

If it hadn't been for Kaji's flashlight, the surprisingly vast underground hallways would be pitch black. Shinji wondered why no one esle was in there. The only sound echoing inside the place were his and Kaji's footsteps, he couldn't even hear voices in the distance. He felt like a lost child following Kaji as he lead the way. And as if it wasn't already an eerie experience walking down there, the blasts up in the city were strong enough to rumble the underground structure.

*BRR-BOOM*

"Are we almost there?" Shinji asked nervously, not feeling entirely safe down there either.

"Just a few more minutes." Replied Kaji.

The triple-agent had parked his spinner somewhere along the facility, being lead down by a highly-classified car elevator. Only NERV personnel were even allowed down there, so letting Shinji in there after he was discharged was risking it.

Kaji made sure they weren't tracked on their way there, and managed to slip underground completely undetected.

*P-BRRRV*

'That blast was closer.' Shinji thought. 'The rumble it caused was stronger than the others.'

Finally, Kaji shone his flashlight at a large mechanical door and reached into his pocket for a card key. The card slot beeped and a green light appeared, unlocking the door and allowing the two entry.

"What is this place?" Shinji asked again.

"One of many emergency facilities only the personnel of NERV know about. None of Tokyo-3's civilians even know what lies underneath their foot. Well, besides the Geo Front, that is."

As the door locked behind them and secured them inside, Shinji had a look around and admitted to himself that the structure itself was pretty impressive. It wasn't too claustrophobic, had all the necessary tools for survival, and seemed sturdy enough that it could protect them from possible collapse at the hands of all the explosions going on in the surface.

"This place is place is secure and heavily armored, it's even got accessibility to the Geo Front via linear-rail." Kaji added.

As he continued talking, Shinji took a peak at the numerous piles of boxes filled with rations.

'This is enough to last months... maybe even a year.' He thought. "Hmm, impressive."

Kaji sat himself down on the steps inside the shelter as he fished for another cigarette in his shirt pocket. He lit the stick of tobacco and took drags that helped him cool down after the intense chase he just got himself and Shinji out of. He knew the place had good air circulation and vents that would prevent the room from building up smoke and/or unhealthy toxins in the air.

"Now, onto what I wanted to talk to you about." Kaji told Shinji.

Unfortunately his listener wasn't all too keen on listening in to whatever he had to go on about.

"Okay so... what exactly is it you need to even say to me? We don't have to talk, you know." He said to him. "In fact, I'd prefer it if we didn't talk... I'm not in the mood to really say anything."

"Hey now, you owe me one." Reasoned Kaji. "I saved your butt from certain death just now, didn't I? Least you could do is hear me out."

Shinji was aware of the fact he hadn't been all that nice to everyone he encountered that day. He wasn't in any mood to receive the pity of those around him after what went down at his father's office. Though he definitely felt bad about it, his anger blinded him and he took it out on those who were trying to help him. Just like he did at Sai-Kuru with his two closest friends.

And since Kaji did just risk life and limb to save him from the massive Angel attack happening outside, he figured he'd listen to him as a form of giving thanks. Though he still dreaded it.

"I suppose you're right." He admitted.

"Good. 'Cuz I think this will put some things in perspective for you just as it did for me."

Shinji wanted to roll his eyes at that one, but forced himself to be a little more mindful of his attitude. He had just gone through this scenario with his mother in the core. She tried her best to give her words of wisdom about how to go on about living his life. He had a feeling that Kaji's talk would be about something similar.

"Will it, now?" He said under his breath. 'Because it didn't make any difference the first time...'

"Okay, first thing's first. There are some things you need to know about me before I tell you this story of mine." Kaji began. "Now, my position here at NERV is that of Chief Inspector, but I have other gigs on the side as well. Ones that could get me in really hot water if I'm found out."

Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean by 'other gigs'?"

Kaji chuckled, curious as to what Shinji would even think of him after he gave him the truth.

"I have other positions... positions that require me to snoop around here at NERV. One's with the Japanese Ministry of the Interior. And the last one... well, that one you might find real interesting."

Shinji could tell he was stalling just a bit. Something told him this wasn't going to be good. He didn't outright ask Kaji what the last one was, but just waited for the answer instead.

"Lastly, I'm involved with SEELE." Said Kaji much to the shock of Shinji.

"What?" He asked in disbelief.

Kaji knew that the truth would anger Shinji. It's why he hesitated a little, despite never wanting to beat around the bush. And though the truth hurt, he prioritized honesty over the hiding of important information.

"Wait, what the fuck?!" Shinji said louder now.

He scooted back a little, which Kaji noticed despite focusing his eyes on the floor.

"You have nothing to be afraid of, Shinji. It's not like I'm going to hurt you." Kaji said in a more serious tone. "I'm only working with NERV and SEELE because I'm spying on them. It's what I was sent here to do by the Ministry of the Interior."

"So? What's that supposed to mean? You're here to take both NERV and SEELE down? What's that supposed to mean for the rest of us? What's that mean for Misato? My friends? Or even me?" Shinji inquired.

"I'm not on any of these organizations' side." Kaji tried explaining.

"You sure? Because it sounds like you're on that ministry's side on all of this."

"You aren't part of NERV anymore, Shinji." Kaji brought up. "I don't know why you're suddenly so worried about what happens to everyone in the organization."

It seemed now that this talk had turned into more of an argument.

"I have friends working for NERV, Mr. Kaji! There are people here I care about! I can't just forget all that!" Reasoned Shinji. Now Kaji himself had frowned.

"Then why were you so ready to let all of them go not too long ago?"

That stopped Shinji in his tracks. He genuinely didn't know what to say. Kaji hated being this assertive towards anyone, but he felt Shinji needed to hear this.

"You were acting cold as hell saying your goodbyes earlier today... and you didn't even try to reach out to your closest friends before leaving. Not even Rei, who I was told you have some kind of thing for, right?"

Shinji still didn't know what to say to him.

"Yes, I'm a spy. Yes, I work for three different organizations that are constantly at each other's throats. But I'm not doing it for any of them. I'm not doing what I'm told because it's all I think I should do. I'm doing it for myself, Shinji." Explained Kaji.

But now Shinji thought he saw some kind of flaw in Kaji's logic.

"How?" He asked. "How can you say you're doing it for yourself when it's just your job? You're still following orders! Just like I was for NERV! And I don't want to fight their wars! But I really didn't have much of a choice, now did I?"

But Kaji was already ahead of him on that one.

"Funny you mention that." He told Shinji, who wasn't exactly sure of what he was referring to.

"What are you talking about?"

"Choice." Said Kaji. "The problem here is choice. And I made mine a long time ago. You may not realize it but you do have a choice to make here, Shinji."

Kaji then observed Shinji's slightly overgrown and shaggy hair. It brought him back to an era of his life he didn't like talking about all that much.

"You probably think I haven't a clue what it's like to be in a hellish war-torn world, so let me tell you about my life after Second Impact. This is what I wanted to talk to you about."

Shinji was not only angry at Kaji now, but unsure of whether to trust him. But there was nothing he could really do now. He was sure Kaji had a weapon on him, and wasn't sure what his intentions were with him or anyone at NERV now. All he could do was play it safe and listen to the man's story.

"After Second Impact, the world was essentially in ruins. Entire cities were swept under tidal waves. Disease, starvation, and of course war ravaged the continents. I'm sure the latter isn't hard for you to picture. In about a year, three billion people lost their lives to the aftermath of the 'Impact'. I'm sure you've already been informed as to the real cause of Second Impact, right?"

Shinji nodded.

"Well just like everyone at the time, I wasn't aware of that. I was only your age when I was out there trying to survive along with some group of kids, my younger brother included. He was about 4 years younger than me."

The mention of a younger brother struck Shinji. Kaji always seemed so independent, so he just assumed he had always been an only child.

"The tragedy took the lives of our parents, so we didn't have anyone to take care of or look after us. We had to do that ourselves. Orphaned kids like us were everywhere back then. And we were all equally terrified." Kaji continued.

He wasn't having an easy time having to look back at those dark times, but he didn't break at all doing so. He needed to relay a message to Shinji, who at this point was actually inclined to listen to him.

"We tried entering the mass shelters around the city, but none of them would take us in. Whether it was because they were at full capacity or not, we weren't sure. Either way, our situation was dire. So we eventually found other lost boys and stuck together to up our chances of survival. We needed to be there for each other... no matter what. If anyone split from the group, they'd end up alone and dead. And if just one of us didn't look out for the other, we'd risk the entire group falling apart. We needed each other."

Now Shinji was really surprised. He never really thought of the hardships Impact survivors had gone through. Hearing about the conditions they dealt with was a shock.

"We scrounged around for food, and we took it by any means necessary. We stole, looted... all that crap. We did whatever we had to do just to get by. And we had to be smart about it. We would take turns collecting the essentials while the rest of the group stayed back in the hideout. We couldn't risk all being found out."

But then Kaji's facial expression went flat, the darkest Shinji had ever seen from him.

"And on this particular night, it was my turn. So... I went off, and came across a military warehouse somewhere along the way. I was sure they had canned goods in there and managed to sneak in quite easily. After the Impact, high-tech security measures were at a shortage. So basically any kid could've snuck in there no problem. But I guess I didn't taken into account the guards inside the warehouse."

Shinji knew something must have gone terribly wrong. He was almost scared of having to hear the rest of the story.

"For just a few minutes, it was all going as I had planned. I found plenty of canned food I could give out to my brother and the rest of the group. However, I foolishly didn't bring a backpack with me, thinking it'd make it easier to run without that added weight on my back. All it did was force me to try and carry all those things by hand. I was carrying too much and ended up dropping one of the cans and it went rolling off towards the direction of the guards. That was enough to alert them."

Kaji was almost done with his current cigarette, already reaching for another.

"They found some punk... me. Actually, my hair didn't look too different from how yours looks right now."

That made Shinji reach up to feel his hair once more. Now he was getting it. Kaji wasn't only trying to teach him some lesson, he was actually opening up to him about something that affected him in the past. And Kaji genuinely saw his younger self in Shinji at the moment.

He began to realize that maybe Kaji was more relatable than he had previously thought.

"Once they spotted me, I put my hands up and dropped everything almost immediately. But that didn't stop them from giving my stomach a serious pounding." The triple-agent continued.

Kaji could clearly remember the sharp pain he felt as the butt of the guard's gun violently jabbed his torso.

"They grouped up on me and each had their turn kicking my ass. It wasn't long before I was completely bruised and bloodied. Then they started pressing me about who I was with."

Shinji couldn't believe what he was hearing. And he knew it'd only get worse from there.

"I told them I was alone, but they didn't buy that. They had dealt with young thieves like me before, and they were always lead to a bigger group of thieves. They knew I was lying. So they took it a step further and placed a gun barrel on my forehead. Then they asked one last time; 'Who are you with?'"

He lit another cigarette after dumping the lone filter of his previous smoke.

"So I caved."

The shock was now apparent on Shinji's face. He was stunned; eyes widened and mouth slightly agape.

"You... told them?" He asked.

"Yup." Admitted Kaji. "I gave away the group's exact location. I knew it was wrong, but it was the first time I had been that close to death. I realized just how terrified I was of dying, Shinji. Suddenly, rational thought just flew over my head. It was only after I told them of the location that they quit beating me around. "

Shinji stared at him in complete shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Most of the guards left except for one, who was keeping an eye on me. I knew I had fucked up. And I had to find a way out of there, fast. I needed to warn the others before they were spotted. But I was too nervous to make any sudden moves, so I stalled for quite a while. But the more I waited, the less time I had to warn the group of the guards. And when I thought of my brother, I began to panic. When the guard least expected it, I chucked a can at his face and booked it out of there. Somehow I managed to dodge all his bullets, too. I've never been more scared in my entire life."

"So... what happened?" Shinji asked him, now completely invested in Kaji's story.

"What do you think?" Kaji asked back. "The guards had vehicles. They got there before I could even leave the warehouse. By the time I did arrive, they were already driving off. It was when I entered our building that I found them."

Shinji was devastated, as was Kaji when he experienced all of this.

"There they were, as if in a pile. A pile of... dead kids... around my age." Kaji detailed. "My brother was lying face down on the floor. I didn't need to face him upwards to know it was him. The only people I had left... all gone. Because of me."

The imagery of dead kids reminded Shinji of Matsuyama again. He thought it was only something his generation had gone through, being put through war at such a young age. But when Kaji told him of his own past, it did put things in perspective after all. What Kaji had gone through wasn't all that different from what Shinji was put through.

"Another thing; my brother and I... we were never the closest before Second Impact. He was pretty hyperactive, and it irritated me to no end when I was a young and moody teenager. I criticized him quite a lot, much to our parents' dismay. But then it all happened, and our parents were killed. He was all I had left. But above all, he was family. It was only out in the streets that I realized just how much he meant to me."

Kaji let out a big puff of smoke, his eyes watering ever so slightly now.

"And then he died because of me."

Before any tears could flow down his face, Kaji casually wiped them off with his sleeve.

"After that, I really thought I was going to die. I even thought of outright killing myself. I had no one else, no one. But for some reason, I kept going. I kept pushing through the rubble and eventually found friends of relatives that willfully took me in. I was a gaunt figure by then... it was a miracle I didn't die of starvation like some stray dog."

This was not what Shinji had expected Kaji's past to be like at all. With how at ease and in control as he looked, it made Shinji think he had a pleasant upbringing and something of a good life. He was the only member of NERV he saw consistently have a smile on his face. And yet, what he had been through was probably one of the worst things Shinji heard a person go through.

Ultimately, it's what formed the mask Kaji wore so well. He kept his cool despite having such a tragedy plague his past.

"What happened then?" Shinji asked.

The fact that he cared now about the story made Kaji grin just a little. He could tell it was beginning to work.

"About a year into living in my new home, the official explanation for the Impact was published. A 'meteor', they said. Nowadays, only certain people in the world know that isn't true. But back then, word on the street was that some crazy unnatural light had been seen just as the massive explosion happened by fishing ships some 20 miles off Antarctica. It's also no surprise that these same people who reported it went missing not too long after. My caretakers actually believed the official reports, but I didn't buy it for a second."

Now Kaji's spy gig was making more sense to Shinji.

"I felt solely responsible for the death of my brother and all those other kids... they weren't even really our friends. But we had each other. So we stuck with them, and they stuck with us. That was all gone because of what I did. The only way I could even continue living was by finding out what happened over at Antarctica. It's what had gotten us in that crazy situation anyway. And finding the truth was the only way I could atone for those lives lost. After all, that's what stuck with me the most. Their collective demise is my memory."

His second cigarette was about halfway finished already. The discomfort he felt telling Shinji this story made him consume it about twice as fast.

"I was the lucky one. I survived and found a home. I even got proper schooling, eventually making it to college. That was where I met Katsuragi. And it's also where things took a slight turn for me."

"How's that?" Asked Shinji, forcing Kaji to look back on the sweet times he had with Misato.

"Well, she and I hit it off pretty fast. She was really talkative, and I honestly loved listening to her go on about whatever was on her mind. Eventually we saw so much of each other that we would prioritize seeing one another above everyone else. Before I knew it, she and I were in love. And you know what? It felt amazing. It was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. So great, in fact, I got completely sidetracked."

"From becoming a spy?"

"Well, kinda. I started going to college for one reason and one reason only. To work my way up by any means necessary, and uncover the truth of Second Impact." Kaji explained.

"So is that why you two broke up?"

"Heh, yeah. Though it's not like I didn't try to keep that relationship afloat. I loved her, but we were doing nothing but partying for almost an entire school year. It was fun, don't get me wrong. I really did love her. But I decided to focus on the entire reason I was even there in the first place. After what I did to my own brother, it didn't even feel like I deserved to spend all my time in love. My focus went back on doing what I had to do. And the more I went off, the longer I spent time doing so. It drove Misato's insecurity up the wall, and eventually she had to break it off. It hurt, it really did. But I had to carry on."

Shinji couldn't help but feel bad for Misato now. The way Kaji willingly chose to spend less time with her for work made it sound like he just didn't care for her feelings.

"Damn... it sounds like you kinda abandoned her." He said.

"Maybe, maybe not. I definitely didn't mean to hurt her the way I did. But I had my mission." Kaji told him. "And... she had her own as well."

Shinji was thrown off again.

"What do you mean?"

"Second Impact was caused by a now-infamous expedition; the Katsuragi Expedition. It was her father that headed the whole thing. And that's how the first Angel was found. Humans, being so dangerously curious, experimented with the giant humanoid body. They set off the Impact by complete accident, and the explosion was massive. Both Misato and her father were wounded, but only Misato survived. In fact, she was the sole survivor of the expedition. Her father put her in the only escape vessel they had left. She made it, miraculously. He didn't."

Once again, the past of another had shocked Shinji to no end. Nor did he expect Misato to have actually experienced the Impact.

"There's a large scar on her body. It also runs deep inside. Since then, it's become a permanent reminder of that day. That day was the very reason she even joined NERV. Just like how I joined to atone for my brother. She and I both have a memory that drove us to where we are now."

And finally, he was able to make his point clear to Shinji.

"Neither of us are here to just do what we're told, or to further anyone else's agenda. We do it for our own reasons. While you... well, I'm sorry. I can't say you ever did the same."

But now Shinji was upset again.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He nearly shouted, slightly irritating Kaji.

"You only ever fought those Angels because you were told to do so, right?"

"Yeah! And again, I didn't have a choice on the matter!" Shinji reasoned.

"And you're right about that. But you had a choice on what you could fight for." Said Kaji. "I lived through Second Impact's aftermath because I had no choice on that matter. But it was my choice to stick with that group, and to be there for them! And even after I lost them, I still made the choice to live!"

Shinji went quiet again.

"Misato actually witnessed Second Impact. No choice there either. But she chose to go on. You had a choice when you fought alongside your friends in Unit-01, the choice to protect them from losing their lives out there. To the Angels."

"Well what choice do I have now?!" Shinji finally burst. "The Commander kicked me out! I'm not even allowed in Tokyo-3 anymore! I have no choice to make now, I just don't!"

Then Kaji finally stood again and approached Shinji.

"Yes you do!" He said sternly as he looked at the boy with serious eyes. "You always have a choice! You even have one now, and it's right in front of your face!"

Shinji realized what he meant.

"You mean... to go back?" He asked. "After all that's happened? No! It doesn't make any sense! I'd be fighting for fath- that man! I hate him! I'll never fight for him again!"

"Listen to me, Shinji. The Angels are currently trying to burrow into the Geo Front. That means two things; firstly, all of Unit-01 is currently stationed inside HQ. And second, if they make it into the deepest region of HQ; Terminal Dogma, we all die."

"W-What?"

Kaji had to briefly explain to Shinji what lay down there, almost having forgotten that he didn't know of the Angel down below.

"That Angel, Adam... the one that was found deep under Antarctica, we have another just like it sleeping in Terminal Dogma. If any of SEELE's Angels make contact with it, it would initiate a Third Impact. Humanity as we know it, would end. All in our very own basement."

'An... Angel? We have an Angel?' Thought Shinji, now questioning NERV's motives. "W-Why is it down there?"

"Look, that doesn't matter right now. Depending on if we survive this attack, I can explain all I know later. Now look-"

Kaji pointed to another mechanical door down the shelter.

"-you can go back to HQ through the access point down that hall, and fight alongside your group... and do what I failed to do for mine a long time ago. Forget your father, he shouldn't even come to mind right now! Or, you could sit here and wait. Unsure of whether or not everyone you love even survives this whole ordeal."

Now Shinji was struck by Kaji's point. And it once again reminded him of his mother's words.

"Go back and fight... For your friends, and for the world that is your home."

"But you have to make your choice now, Shinji." Added Kaji. "Don't wait out of fear like I did. Make your choice now, and do it for what you believe you should do it for."

Kaji then backed away and sat back down, fishing for yet another cigarette. Shinji stood in his place, his hand continuously opening and closing. There was a lot of pressure being put on him, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized Kaji was right.

As was his mother.

'If I stay... I'd be going against mother's words.' He mused. 'I'd be abandoning them, all because of my hatred towards father. I wouldn't be making a choice for myself... I'd be letting his influence take control of my actions again.'

His hands tightened into knuckles.

"I'm... I'm going." Said Shinji.

And with that, Kaji had finally gotten through to him.

"You can leave your stuff down here with me. I'm sure you won't be needing all that in a combat situation." He coolly remarked. Shinji nodded.

"Okay... how exactly do I get to HQ from here?"

"That door over there leads to a linear-rail, there's a control panel inside. Select Route 18 and you should get there eventually."

Shinji nodded once more and began to run over to where the linear-rail would take him back, but Kaji had one more thing he needed to stop Shinji for.

"Hold on now, Shinji! I got something you might need."

He stood once more and untucked the front of his shirt. He reached into what appeared to be a hidden holster under his clothes and handed him a PKD pistol along with extra ammunition. Once all of the gun's weight was on Shinji's hand, he could tell something about it was different.

It was much heavier, and looked just a little more aged than the ones he'd seen carried around by his fellow troops. It even had tiny scratch marks etched onto the barrel.

"You don't want to go in there without a weapon in case things get hairy." Said Kaji.

"Your pistol... you sure you won't be needing it? You'll be out here all alo-"

"Hold on now, that's not just some pistol." Kaji corrected him. "Well technically it is. But think of it more as a blaster."

Shinji was clearly a little dumbfounded.

"You'll get what I mean, now go! Take the gun and do what you need to do. I should be safe here, and if anything happens I always have the spinner."

"Right... thank you, Mr. Kaji." Shinji said before heading to the linear-rail.

He was able to access the door to the train car and found the panel he was told about. There was a lever and multiple buttons naming different routes. He chose Route 18 just like Kaji had told him to, and the door to the train closed. It shifted forward and picked up steady speed, beginning its journey to HQ.

Shinji sat on the floor of the train and leaned on the side of the control pattern, all alone with his thoughts again. That day just kept proving to have the most jarring twists and turns he'd ever experienced. But because of all that, he was now more than determined to fight, as well as grateful for the talk Kaji had with him.

He stared at the pistol as he inched closer to the place he was so ready to leave behind. He noticed his hand wasn't shaking like it used to right before a battle. Shinji was headed to the very place the Angels would likely invade, and for the first time he was ready for it. All the people he grew to hold near and dear to his heart were down there, just waiting to face the ambush head-on.

Kaji arrived too late to save his group all those years ago. But right now Shinji still had time to be there for his own group.

'This... feels right.' He thought. 'This is right.'