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In the beginning, said a Persian poet, Allah took a rose, a lily, a dove, a serpent, a little honey, a Dead Sea apple, and a handful of clay. When he looked at the amalgam it was a woman.
The skull was not treated as an object of fear. Rather it was seen as a symbol by its new owner in the light it was intended; dedication, reverence and eternal devotion, however macabre. Lucilla had still been naked and panting when her General got up and fetched it for her.
She held it in sweating, trembling hands as he kissed her shoulder from behind and promised her Varden would never hurt her again. It became part of the room; keeping its place on her dresser so she could look upon it when she brushed her hair or changed for bed.
Varden could not have known the little one he had grabbed by the hair in a cantina on Nantoon to force her to watch such terrible, degrading things would hold his skull as a trophy. Not only that, that it would be a gift from her master.
Their routine had had some alterations since Lucilla first came to Finalizer. She still helped him with his coat and his gloves, she still poured him a glass of whiskey if he wanted it. She still sat with him, she would still massage his feet and (if he was tenser than usual) extra relief would be provided if needed.
Most of the time, she sat on the arm of his chair or his lap and they would talk or kiss or both. After that, they would retire. Depending on the mood, they might get physical and collapse into each other in a sweaty, soiled bed.
Other nights, like tonight, he would finish his whiskey (if he had it); they would both get changed and simply enjoy each other's company in bed. That usually consisted of talking, kissing and affectionate, comforting touches before sleep. Before, she was a pleasure slave. Now, she was a true companion.
"Little dove?"
"Mmm?"
The General's husk was laden with relaxation; Lucilla's back was held against his chest, one arm draped over her waist and his chin rested on her shoulder. In this position, he could bury his face in her hair; a comfort he didn't know he needed until he discovered it.
"I have to go away for a few days, my darling." That made her shift in his arms, changing their position completely so she could see his face and he could see the disappointment in hers. "I need to return to Crucival. Another bout of civil war has broken out under new leadership so we're going to take advantage of it to replenish the Stormtrooper ranks."
"Do you have to go?" The soft little plea was more than tempting but if he gave in, she would prove to be the distraction he swore he wouldn't allow her to become in a bid to keep her. To ensure she was comfortable and well looked after; he did need to be able to leave her temporarily to provide for her.
"I do, little dove. Other officers from the Academy will be there, there will be questions asked in my absence." Namely his father and he could do without that inquiry. The more distance he could keep from the Admiral, the better but he wouldn't be able to avoid him on this occasion. All he could do was conduct his business then get back to Lucilla as quickly as he could.
"Can't I go with you?" The General closed his eyes. If he didn't, Lucilla would win. The idea of leaving her alone was distressing enough without her adding to it.
"Absolutely not. It's far too dangerous and I would simply curl up and die if something happened to you, little dove." It wasn't a lie. His instruction to Mitaka still stood. Lucilla's safety is paramount. He felt her arm drape across his shoulder at that particular confession.
"What about Kylo Ren?" They hadn't mentioned that name since that dreadful night and he would rather have kept it that way. It appeared it wasn't meant to be and the Knight was bound to be the Bantha in the room when he revealed he had to leave. It would have to be addressed sooner or later.
"I'm pleased to say Kylo Ren is not on Finalizer at the moment." The relief was unparalleled. His arm resumed around her waist, the need for closeness peaked when Ren's name entered the conversation. "He's chasing a map of Luke Skywalker across the galaxy."
"But…. Luke Skywalker is a myth, General?"
"You know that, little dove and I know it but as long as Kylo Ren doesn't know it and stays off the ship while I'm away, I'll leave him to it."
They were quiet again for a few moments. He didn't want to leave her and he did doubt there would be overlap in the time he would be away and Kylo Ren's return. Still, he was uneasy.
"How long will you be gone?" The question roused him when he didn't even realize he was drifting off to sleep. Though the room was dark, he could make out those beautiful, pale features when he opened his eyes. Her dismay was more than obvious still.
"Two or three days, I expect though I will try to conduct my business and return as quickly as possible."
"You'll come back in one piece, won't you?"
"I'll certainly do my best, little dove."
Crucival was a horrendous planet. Desolate, dying, arid and rocky; why would anyone fight for this godsforsaken place? The dust that settled on his boots with every step made his nose turn upwards and his lip curl; he'd only just arrived and couldn't wait to leave.
The air was heavy and stuffy, breathing was unpleasant. Whether the Stormtroopers found it easier with their helmets or not, he couldn't be sure. The General hailed from Arkanis; a cool, wet planet and Finalizer had been acclimatized similarly for Hux's comfort. He could tell immediately his stay here wasn't going to be enjoyable.
A pair of Stormtroopers followed him, armed and waiting; their pristine white armour was already smudged with orange dirt. His uniform wouldn't escape this dreadful place unscathed, he could feel it Already the heat was getting to him and the weighty black of his uniform would have been abandoned by anyone else. But if the General was anything, he was stubborn.
The officers gathered in a white tent a short walk from where his shuttle landed, six or seven of them at the most. He was relieved that his uniform was not the only one besmirched by the sandstorm brewing outside. Needless to say, the arrival of the General and his Stormtroopers turned heads.
He greeted each in turn, remembering most from the Academy and the ones he didn't recognize, he assumed had arrived after he left. Their ranks varied but by far the highest was the once flamed headed now greying Admiral. The elder Hux half wondered if his son would bring his companion; then again, he had no idea if he even still had her.
"Admiral." Hux greeted his father last with an amicable nod as if merely greeting a superior officer rather than his own father. It had always been that way; ever since he was a young child, ever since his mother died and he was sent to live full time at the Academy.
"General." The older and slightly taller of the two replied, colder than the other. He refrained from mentioning the companion for now (he didn't even know her name) if he did at all. They were here on business after all.
The days dragged and the nights did too when he couldn't sleep. He would doze and drift then reach out for the comfort that wasn't beside him. Bleary; he would feel around, tell himself she had gone to the bathroom. But then when he sat up to wait, he would realize the bed felt different and smaller. Only then would it dawn on him that she wasn't there.
The intense heat of the night and the combined loneliness in the confines of the shuttle made the clawing desperation to return to Finalizer even stronger. He would try to alleviate the pressure by touching himself, tossing and turning in the thin sheets but nothing worked and rest was impossible. His mind wondered what she was doing; probably sleeping.
Did she pine for him as much as he did for her (however hesitant he was to admit it, even to himself)? Was she able to rest in an empty bed without him? Of course she could, she could sleep no matter what the circumstances. He could imagine her splayed out; arms, legs and hair everywhere. He smiled weakly at the image.
Should he bring her somewhere? Get her off Finalizer for a day or so? Somewhere quiet where it could just be the two of them? Maybe somewhere beautiful and wild like Naboo? Bring her to the famous waterfall that jumped into his mind whenever he looked into her eyes?
In that sense, it was easier to get up in the morning, tear through the day (however slow) and fulfil his purpose on this terrible planet. Sitting in meetings, surveying villages and riffling through his holopad; he would often find his mind drifting to Lucilla. Just in general, thinking about her and missing her. The nights were the hardest, he wouldn't deny it.
Finally, the day of departure came. While the General had tried to secure some of the honey he had told Lucilla about, the Creed were hesitant to part with it and Hux left emptyhanded. He was no longer obligated to be on the planet and with that in mind, he was eager to leave before he could be accosted by his father. But someone else got there first.
"General." Hux recognized the unique drawl of Colonel Damten whom he had studied strategy under at the Academy. He was probably the same age as his father, possibly a few years younger. He was a tall thin man, no sense of humour (not that Hux could point that finger), a pointed face and a crop of dark hair with a few silver streaks.
"Colonel." Hands were not shaken, simple nods of acknowledgment sufficed mid-stride back towards the General's shuttle with the Stormtroopers keeping pace behind them. Damten walked beside him and Hux should have known this was going to be something more than reminiscing.
"I hear congratulations are in order, General? Starkiller is looking to be a magnificent machine from what we're hearing back at the Academy." So his father had been talking.
"It is of flawless design and careful construction; when the time comes to use it, the result will be devastating." Hux confirmed without breaking his march; hands clasped behind his back as usual and posture immaculate. The Colonel was similar.
"I'd like to discuss something more personal with you, General." Damten imposed himself and Hux felt a jolt in his gut. What could a man he hadn't seen in close to five years possibly want to say to him of a personal nature? He was about to find out.
"Your father mentioned you're still not married, is that correct?" Hux wasn't quite sure how to react to that particular query. He was rather taken aback by it if anything. If the Colonel noticed, he didn't comment.
"It's neither true nor false." The General answered dubiously, neglecting to remove the traces of surprise from his pallid features. He'd never really examined his relationship with Lucilla but the word 'marriage' had never been mentioned, discussed or even thought about to any great extent. And the controversy that would follow….
"I don't understand, General. Are you betrothed? Are you in the process procuring a specific match?"
"Well, no. I find myself in something of an exclusive but unconventional arrangement that is not covered by marriage."
"I see." The Colonel cocked an eyebrow at the younger man while Hux tried to collect his nerve; the questions were unexpected on a professional trip like this one. "Would you care to elaborate?"
"Not as such, no." The redhead had regained himself to a degree and would be blunt where his personal affairs were concerned. Lucilla was no one's business but his own. "May I ask why my marital status or lack thereof is a topic of conversation?" And seemingly not just between you and I, Colonel.
"My daughter has become, what my wife believes to be, a suitable marrying age. She turned twenty two last month, plenty of child bearing years and capability needless to say-"
"Fascinating, Colonel but why are you telling me this?" Hux's bristle was impatient as they reached the dropped ramp of his own shuttle.
"It would benefit you hugely." Colonel Damten was almost smug by the implication. "Stable home life, children to continue your name and legacy and quite a legacy it's going to be. Plus there would be the added benefit of having a relative of power in the Academy. Very useful for funding projects and the like?"
"Did my father put you up to this?"
"I approached your father and he confirmed his support for the idea; he said this meeting would be an ideal time to suggest it to you." The General did all he could not to grind his teeth. So he gifts him Lucilla and less than a year later, he's advocating a marriage to someone else?
"Think about it, General. It would be everything you need." His former mentor had turned on his heel before Hux could respond. "Contact me with your answer."
Hux sat in his seat for a few moments while he processed the spontaneous conversation. It would be everything he needed. But was it everything he wanted? And the more he thought about, the more he realized what he wanted was to be back on Finalizer with Lucilla.
It was late when he felt the touch of home at last. The quarters were in darkness; his dark haired darling was more than likely in bed. Coat and gloves removed; he removed his boots in the armchair in front of the dying embers so as not to disturb Lucilla when he entered the bedroom.
Lucilla's back was to his side of the bed so naturally when he slipped in under the sheets; her waist was gripped and his companion was turned over so her face nuzzled into the hollow of his neck. His heart leapt when her arm crossed over his chest automatically and she cuddled in closer.
Had he been tempted by the offer? How could he be when he had everything he wanted right there with her light breath tickling off his collarbone? But there were things Lucilla couldn't give him. Not in her current state. To bring it up would upset her; it always did.
A delicate kiss was pressed to Lucilla's face, wherever he could without disrupting the position. That woke her. Those incredible blue eyes unseen in any human before opened slowly and her breathing changed from the slow and steady pace of sleep to being (barely) alert.
"You're back." The female breathed in sweet and sleepy delight, her arm tightening in a one armed embrace and her face burying back into where he had placed it, laying small kiss to the area. The past few days had indeed been difficult for both of them.
"I'm back." He confirmed quietly, enveloping her fully in his arms and sating the dull, lonely ache that had plagued him while he was away. He slipped down in the bed and pushed his forehead to hers; their unique communication of affection. "And I missed you terribly, little dove."
"I missed you too." Came the sincere confession as a fair hand reached to gently stroke his face. No one, not a single person living or dead on any planet would have gotten this close to the General nor would they have been received with the same devotion that Lucilla got on a daily basis. "Did you succeed? Did you get what you went for?"
"I did." The reluctance in the answer brushed a curious glow over Lucilla's angelic features but she didn't press the issue. Not yet. "Several families have been persuaded, amounting to about one hundred extra new recruits. I'll be sending a squadron next week to collect them."
"Is everything alright?" The last part of his answer was disregarded. Her eyes were trained on his face, taking in everything. Where there should have been relief, pride and accomplishment, she also noticed dismay and unease. "You seem…. A little off."
"Just tired, little dove. Rest was almost impossible, that place is so damn hot. And I'm not used to sleeping in an empty bed. Not anymore." Lucilla blinked but the stare continued after that. She knew him well enough by now; he never lied to her aside from the night he handed her over to Kylo Ren. Which was how she knew now that something wasn't right.
The General shifted with something akin to discomfort though Lucilla remained in his grasp, she was backing him into a corner without so much as a word. It seemed she had a greater hold than he thought she did.
"I was offered a match." He paused at the admission and wanted to look away from her but couldn't seem to bring himself to do it. "A marriage. To a Colonel's daughter. Twenty two years of age. He wants me to contact him with an answer."
Lucilla's face seemed to fall into an awful mixture of panic and devastation. It happened so slowly that his heart sank at the same rate into a depth he didn't think it could sink to. Even more so when she pulled her body to put a distance between them.
"Are… Are you sending me back?" He didn't think he had ever moved so fast in such a confined space. Lucilla was grabbed and pulled back to him despite her hesitation and this time, she was held more securely where he could look into her eyes in a blatant attempt to assure her.
"Never, little dove." His forehead was pushed to hers again and he felt her relax slightly but not entirely. "Never. Even if there was something to send you back to, never!" His voice wouldn't raise despite how his passion wanted him to but he wouldn't be apart from her. Those three days had been torturous, how would he cope permanently? He wouldn't.
"The match was suggested, offered." He explained, forlorn and desperate for her to understand. "It was an offer, nothing more though I think my father is eager for me to take it."
"Are you going to take it?" That despondency was still there as if she was afraid to know the answer; he wasn't sending her back but… He wouldn't be her's anymore. The skull would have been just that, no longer a symbol of dedication and devotion to the Rose of his Empire.
"Little dove…."
"You should." His heart cracked when her voice did. "A Colonel's daughter, she's of respectable breeding, no doubt. That will look good for you and she's younger than me. She's probably more beautiful than me too."
Her eyes closed despite her sudden frantic ramblings in a vain attempt to restrain the tears that threatened to spill onto the pillow. It slowed them but didn't stop them completely. Was this all born of minimized self worth? Or was she afraid of losing her General?
Did she truly want him to have what he needed out of loyalty to her master, despite what it would do to her? Hux watched, petrified and afraid to move. Why?! Why did he open his mouth?! Why was he so easy to read?!
"She can give you things I can't." Lucilla continued with a heartbroken sigh, he knew what that meant. She meant children and that had already crossed his mind. "She can give you everything you need, why shouldn't you take it?"
"Lucilla." The female's cheeks were wiped and an attempt was made to wipe her eyes but she kept shaking her head. "Darling. Please, look at me. Look at me, Lucilla." Warily, she did just that. Her eyes opened and still watered.
"Have you ever considered that maybe what I need is not necessarily what I want?" She didn't answer though her lip still trembled, her breathing strained and he continued. "Little dove, I'm not taking it. I was never taking it. I wouldn't dream of it. Everything I want and need is here on Finalizer."
"Except Kylo Ren."
"Except Kylo Ren." He repeated, relaxing at her stab at humour despite the jolt she had gotten. Her tiny form was cradled comfortingly against his significantly larger one while random kisses of utter adoration were pressed to her face.
"I'm not interested in what she can give me. I'm only interested in what you strive to give me every single day and that's more than enough. That's all I need for as long as you're happy to do so. To hell with my father and to hell with the Colonel. He'll have my answer tomorrow and it won't be the one he wants."