A/N: Hi everyone! A later update than usual, sorry, but I'm completely swamped in real life, and I'm having trouble finding the time to write. The whole story's waiting in my head, but I simply lack the time to write it down. So frustrating... Anyway, I probably won't be able to update in the next two weeks, but I'll do my best to give you another chapter before New Year!

Huge thanks to my faithful and wonderful serial reviewers: fresh-BLOOD-was-drawn-2night, traceybuie, BridieM, ThatsMzPeachesTYVM and CoppertopJ! I'm so grateful for all your kind and inspiring reviews! And you're spot on about the problem here, but... you know with Bella and Edward, things are never easy... ;) And thanks for all the following and favoriting, guys!

I suggest you keep your seatbelt buckled, and brace yourselves! Enjoy, and please review! And if I can't update before, Merry Christmas to you all!

Chapter 6

Edward

I tried to regain some composure before Carlisle arrived in our meadow, but I didn't think he would be fooled. My father knew me too well. And like I predicted, his thoughts – only focused on his labored conversation with a very reluctant Alistair – betrayed his concern as soon as he stepped foot on the grass out of the canopy of trees. Oh, God, they look so stressed out. I hope Alistair can help them. I hate to see them like this. They don't need that on top of this shitty situation. I couldn't agree more on this.

He walked towards us and Marcus, who took a few steps closer to Bella and I. Marcus was solely focused on our exacerbated reactions, and he too put much faith in Alistair's ability to help us through this unprecedented situation. His knowledge couldn't do any good, for once, but he tried not to be bitter about it. He couldn't have known that he would be the witness to such a strange predicament.

But my main focus stayed on my beautiful mate. Bella was strong, I had always known it, however right now she had proved me yet again that she was the strongest one out of the two of us, by far. She was holding me upright, literally, as I fought to stifle my still overwhelming sobs at the painful thoughts of her leaving me. I knew that she wouldn't do it, and never would've, but seeing her ready to bolt away had frightened me and shaken me to my core.

I also knew that this meltdown was long overdue. Bella and Jasper had repeatedly tried to break my carefully built shell of guilt and remorse around my memories of me leaving her eighteen years ago, to no avail. I was ashamed to admit that it was easier for me to hide behind my guilt rather than face what I had done to Bella, and feel it in my flesh. Better be sorry, and beat myself up, rather than experience her tremendous levels of pain.

And in that moment, although we hadn't been touching, I had felt it, and still did. I was somehow reliving her pain from that horrible moment, and it was tearing me apart. It was like a huge chunk of my lungs and guts was slowly being ripped away from me, leaving me breathless and aching, and the edges sizzling and raw. I just knew that that was what Bella had lived through during our long months apart, and this excruciating pain was beyond everything I'd ever known, a close second only to the pain of my change, and much more than what I had endured myself when away from her. The knowledge that I did that to her broke me completely.

"Bella," I stammered through my pain, "I'm... so sorry... for everything..."

I crumpled to my kness through her grasp, but she caught me right before I could slide down all the way to the ground. Her grip on me tightened, and she sat down hard on the grass, cradling me to her lap. Our roles were reversed now, but I couldn't find the humour in it. I was too busy trying to control the pain slowly engulfing me, distorting my features and making Bella shout in terror, her eyes frantic. "Edward?! Edward, what's happening? Talk to me, my love!"

I dimly noticed Carlisle and Marcus crouching down right next to us, talking fast, but I couldn't make out their words, even less their thoughts. So I focused on Bella, my light in the night, and fought to stay afloat on this ocean of pain I was nearly drowning in. She had survived it, she had endured it, like the powerful woman she was and always had been, so I would too. I had to do it, for her. I raised my hand to cup her cheek, fighting the blur in front of my eyes, and felt instantly better when I touched her smooth skin. The pain receded, and she ran a hand through my hair, soothing me even more. "You're in pain!" she said with a wince, her eyes terrified. "Why, Edward? Tell me!"

"It's your pain," I murmured, all my energy gone. "Yours from when I left you. It hurts so much, love. How? How have you lived through it?"

Her eyes tightened from the bad memories, but she circled her arms around me, holding me closer to her chest. "This pain's mine, Edward. Not yours. You already have your own. So you're going to give it back to me right now! I won't let you endure it too!"

Her mental shield lowered as she asked Carlisle to go hunt for a large animal to bring me, then she concentrated on her thoughts and emotions. Those memories are mine. I don't want Edward to share my pain. I take it back, and will bury it in the back of my mind again. Calm, peace for my mate. Pain for me to store away. Now. Then she closed her eyes, and I felt two things happening simultaneously. The horrendous pain crippling me left me one bit at a time, replaced by a soothing and warm feeling seeping through my core. The love of my beautiful and powerful mate, all-encompassing and healing. In a few minutes, she had taken all the pain away, and filled me with her feelings of love and care for me. I was a sobbing mess again, but from the gratitude I felt towards her. "I love you, Bella," I blubbered. "So much. Thank you."

She only leaned over me and kissed my forehead tenderly, caressing my face and hair with her fingertips. "Anything for you, Edward. Anything. I love you, more than my own life."

"How...?" I asked her again, feeling dazed.

"I don't know," she whispered, cradling me tighter against her as Carlisle was returning, a squirming deer in his arms. "I just lived, Edward. But it's in the past. I won't think about it again."

"Do you think that's why Edward felt your pain?" Marcus's voice reached me from behind me, sounding concerned. "You were feeling it too?"

"I thought about it in passing," Bella nodded gravely, her worried eyes trained on me. "But I didn't think that he would feel it too. We share our emotions now, and we can influence them."

"That's strange," Carlisle said, breaking the neck of the deer who abruptly slumped in his arms. "I wonder if you two..."

"Later, Dad," Bella cut him with a small smile. "Edward needs blood first."

"Of course," he said, putting the deer at our feet. "It's all yours."

I wasn't out of it like Bella had been, but I still needed her help to position myself above the deer's neck, the warm blood's scent tantalizing me. Without further ado I sank my teeth through skin, fur and muscles, reaching the jugular, and greedily drank the tasteless but reinvigorating and still warm blood. My focus came back, sharp and fine, and I let out a sigh as I pushed away from the deer, right onto Bella's lap. "Better?" she asked me gently, still caressing me.

"Much better," I purred, feeling boneless and relaxed now, after the pain and the daze. "Thank you, love. Thank you for the deer, Dad."

"It was my pleasure, son," Carlisle's voice rose from my left. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," I said, taking stock of my body. "I don't feel dazed anymore. But I'm..."

"…not at your peak form," Bella finished for me, watching me intently. "I know exactly what you're feeling, my love. You need rest."

"I'm a vampire," I opposed feebly, not wanting to give in to the weak state I was slowly sinking into, but knowing that Bella often needed some quiet time after such an episode.

"Doesn't matter," Bella said firmly. "Rest, Edward. I'll carry you back home. We'll meet with Seth later, I'll text him."

"I'll call him," Carlisle offered grimly. "Bella, we need to know what's happening with the two of you. Your state is serious, and..."

"I appreciate your concern, Carlisle, but that'll have to wait," she cut him sharply. "Our situation isn't easy, and we're trying to deal with it as best we can, but now's not the time for questions."

"We just want to help you, Bella. And you'd better tell us, maybe we can help you find a solution," Carlisle said calmly as I felt Bella's anger starting to boil. I rubbed her shoulders, trying to prevent her from going off on our father. He didn't deserve it. Well, maybe he did a little, I amended in my head.

"I know, and I'm grateful for your support," my mate replied abruptly, trying to control her still rising anger. "But Edward needs quiet, and frankly, so do I. We're a little bit of a mess, Carlisle. Marcus, could you explain everything to our family, please?"

"Of course, dear Bella," our wonderful uncle said kindly. "Carlisle, I'll tell you all about it, don't worry."

"Edward?" Carlisle addressed me, kneeling right next to me and looking placated for now. "Are you really okay?"

"I think so," I answered honestly, fighting a slow numbness threatening to engulf me.

"May I examine you quickly?" he asked, extending his hand towards me.

As I was about to agree, Bella suddenly started to growl lowly and snatched me away from our father's reach. My eyes snapped to her face, and what I saw didn't make sense. My mate, always cool and kind and compassionate, always the diplomat, was baring her teeth at Carlisle, her eyes completely black. She looked... feral. And she was, from what I could feel from her body. She was protecting me, and suddenly I understood what my family had tried to explain to me. She was like I had been, and she couldn't be reasoned, no matter who tried or how.

"Bella..." Carlisle whispered, appalled, as he took a hasty step back, palms raised outwards.

"We'll let them be for now, Carlisle," Marcus said calmly, taking his time to rise to his feet in a non-threatening way and retreating to the woods towards the Cullen house. "We have much to talk about."

"Yes, it seems so," Carlisle nodded, looking lost. "Please come back to the house as soon as you can," he added for Bella and I. I dimly nodded, but Bella only growled louder, snapping her jaw in annoyance. Our father looked worried out of his mind, and Marcus had a sad smile on his face.

As the two of them turned around and ran away, disappearing in the underwoods, I focused back on my wife, who was holding me in her arms just like I had done for her so many times before. It was a strange thing, but I enjoyed the moment. She was cradling me against her chest, my head on her shoulder, and my hands were gently caressing her perky breasts.

Her growl morphed into a loud purr, and quite suddenly I found myself lying back on the grass, Bella straddling my hips. The numbness I was sinking into mere seconds ago vanished instantly as she watched me with her unsettling black eyes, her hair making a curtain around us. Her hands were all over me, in my hair, on my body, and I gripped her hips to stay anchored to reality. I didn't know what was happening, but I had this vague feeling of déjà-vu. I had done something similar to her, I just knew it somehow. "Bella?" I asked in a faint voice.

She didn't answer, her purr only growing louder, and she bent over me. Her hands fisting my hair and her thighs squeezing my hips, she kissed me, ravishing my mouth and making me moan in want and bliss. This was heaven, my mate surrounding me and loving me. We kissed and caressed for a few minutes, until she started to drop small kisses on my jaw and neck, before licking me there.

And then I shuddered violently as a flashback crossed in front of my closed eyelids. Me latching my teeth onto Bella's neck as I was pounding into her from behind, lost in utter ecstasy. That was what had happened. And now she would do the same to me.

"Bella, love, are you going to bite me?" I asked softly as she kept licking me. I was okay with it; it was only fair, after all. But she wasn't herself right now, and she didn't want to do it to me. I didn't want her to regret it.

She jerked back at once, her eyes dilating and turning golden again as she took in our position, and she jumped away from me, a look of horror on her features. It was heartbreaking, and I couldn't stifle the whimper rising in me. I shouldn't have said anything. Our connexion was broken, and I was aching from it. We needed this. Marcus had been right. She needed to bite me, and I needed her venom in me.

"No!" she wailed, her hands grabbing her hair as she took three steps back from me, still looking anguished. "No, no, no! I can't do this to you!"

"Bella," I said as I rose to my feet, swaying slightly. "It's okay, love, it's okay. It's what needs to be done. Do you feel it, love? We both need it."

"No!" she screeched, retreating further from me, each step she took breaking my heart a little more. "I can't do that to you, Edward! I won't! You mean too much to me!"

"It's meant to be, love," I insisted softly, trying to hold myself together as the need became more urgent, the loss of her creating a gaping hole in my heart. "Please, Bella. You must be feeling it like I am. We both need this. This connexion..."

She bit her lip uneasily, her eyes still wild and her stance wary. I could see clearly that she was on the verge of running away again, and I couldn't stand the idea of it, even for a short time. "Please stay with me, Bella. Please. I beg you," I whispered desperately, kneeling wearily at her feet.

She gasped, and the next second I was back on my feet, locked into her strong embrace. I felt I could breathe fully again, and her soothing touch healed the hole in me instantly. However she was growling again, but in sheer anger this time. "Don't you dare kneel in front of me ever again, Edward Anthony Cullen! I can't stand it! I'm not ordering you around, and you're not my slave! We're equals! And you'll never have to beg me for anything," she added, her voice breaking. "I love you, Edward. So much. I'd do anything for you."

"I'm sorry, Bella," I told her sincerely, wrapping her small shaking frame into my arms, and feeling much better. "But we need to do this, love. You'll have to bite me."

"Edward..." she started, her tone strangled from panic. "Please... Give me time. We'll wait for Alistair, then we'll see, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed faintly, knowing that delaying the inevitable would only make our situation more difficult, but also knowing that I couldn't push her on this. She had to want it, to need it more than what her rational and cautious brain could say to stop her.

We stood in the meadow for a good hour, lost in each other's embrace, bonding and purring again, before she stirred a little. "We need to go see Seth."

"Let's ask Emmett and Jasper to come with us," I nodded, thinking that we would have to stay on alert at all times now that we knew that Caius wanted our heads.

Bella agreed without complaining, probably knowing that it was for our safety. "Are you ready to go back?" she asked with a hesitant voice.

I felt her uncertainty and her remorse at her cautiousness, but I couldn't hold it against her. I was the first one to take a step back as soon as any idea of danger or pain loomed ahead of her. And of course I was the undisputed champion of the bad or misguided decisions regarding our relationship. "Don't worry, love," I told her gently, cupping her cheeks and kissing her before riveting my eyes into her soulful and gorgeous ones. "I'm ready."

"I'm sorry," she exhaled in a pained sigh. "I don't want you to hurt or be disappointed, Edward. But I can't take chances with you about this."

"I understand," I said simply, willing to give her time, even though the need of this deeper connexion was more acute than ever, but not painful at the moment. I had the nagging feeling that it wouldn't last. "Let's go back home."

We ran back to the Cullen house, hand in hand, both lost in our thoughts. Of course, in my somewhat weakened state I couldn't focus on reading minds, so it came as a surprise that Esme ran to us as soon as she caught the sound of our feet near the house, and threw herself at us, wrapping us in her tight embrace. "Oh, thank God, you're okay! I was so worried!"

"We're okay, Mom," I murmured, letting go briefly of Bella to hug my mother. I felt a pang of guilt at having been quite neglectful of my family since the events of Isle Esme, too focused as I was on Bella. Of course our family was worried about us, and it hit me only now. "Really, it will be all right."

"Marcus told us everything," she said, her voice shaky as she let go of me and took a step back to look at Bella and me. My mate was quick to snake her arm around me again, making us both sigh in relief. We really couldn't be apart now, it seemed. "How do you cope with it?"

"As best we can," I admitted lowly as voices I wasn't expecting to hear reached me. "Why are the Denalis here?"

"Alice called them," Esme said, pursing her lips in concern. "She said they needed to be here to help us against Caius. Is it okay?"

"Sure," Bella said when I simply shrugged. "That's very nice of them."

"We're family," Tanya said, emerging through the front door, Kate and Garrett flanking her. "Hello, Bella and Edward. We just wanted to help."

"Thank you," I said sincerely, Bella echoing me. And I was truly grateful for their presence. We needed power and numbers against Caius and his goons.

"No worries," Garrett said casually, tossing his ponytail above his shoulder with a good-natured smile. "I've wanted to kick Caius' ass for a century. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to."

"Get in line," Jasper said calmly as the rest of our family and friends went around us from inside, surrounding us. "I've wanted to lit a fire under his behind since Volterra."

"Another Southerner holding a grudge," Emmett teased him, rubbing Jasper's hair who quickly ducked under his brother's arm and went beside Carlisle. "Leave some of his limbs for us to get revenge too."

"We'll see," Jasper and Garrett said together, making almost all of us chuckle.

Only Bella didn't react, and I could feel her tension through our linked hands. She was seconds away from snatching me away again, so I decided to prevent any hasty reaction. "We'll go to our room for a moment, please excuse us," I said softly, looking at all the faces around me. Marcus gave us an understanding smile, Carlisle still looked contrite, Esme shot us a pleading look. Our siblings and friends nodded with sympathetic smiles. I still couldn't hear anything from them, but it didn't bother me. I only needed Bella.

"I called Seth," Carlisle said, probably wanting to redeem himself. He was forgiven, as far as I was concerned, but I couldn't speak for my wife, who was more nervous with each passing second. "He agreed to meet you tomorrow morning here, if it's okay."

"It is," I nodded, speaking up for us once again; Bella didn't seem to be willing, or able to. She was eyeing every vampire around us with a wary gaze, earning bewildered looks from the Denalis and Heidi. But thankfully nobody commented on it, and we took our leave with a few grateful words from me.

Bella all but carried me upstairs, breezing through the flights of stairs then through our door, and deposited me on the bed just before closing and locking the door behind her. She leaned back against it, her eyes riveted in mine. I could see her internal fight as the gold battled the black, finally winning. Her features smoothed then, and she slumped a little. I stood and walked to her, taking her in my arms. "Hey, love, what's the matter?"

"I'm so afraid, Edward," she whispered, clutching me tightly against her. "I feel this... this urge to claim you. The need is so powerful, my love! But I don't want to give in, not until I know exactly what it will do to you."

"And what it did to you," I added in concern, kissing her hair as we snuggled against each other.

She shrugged. "I don't know about it yet," she said. "Only that we can share our emotions and influence them like Jasper."

"And dive into past emotions," I recalled with a wince, thinking of her pain.

She caressed me, easing my torment in an instant before I could dwell on it too much. "Yes, that's weird."

"Weirder than all that's happening, you mean?" I asked lightly, wanting to distract her.

It worked a little. She giggled faintly, then made me lean over her to kiss me. The spark was instantaneous, and the urge more powerful than ever. I wanted her claiming to happen, we just needed it. But she pulled away from me with a low moan, and I groaned. The absence of our new connexion wasn't painful per se, but it was definitely missing, and I could feel it.

Bella didn't look better, and I could feel the tremendous willpower she was using to control her instincts. She was so strong, I was in awe of her. But I just wished she gave in. "I really hope Alistair will arrive soon," she said breathlessly, trying to regain some composure.

"Yeah, me too," I agreed fervently, running a hand through my hair.

After a few seconds hesitating, we went to our bed and cuddled on top of the covers, seeking out peace and comfort. She didn't speak, and neither did I. There was nothing to say yet.

Some hours later – I didn't keep track of the time – I heard a car coming, and knew that it was Alistair. Bella jumped out of my arms, looking frantic, and I followed her more slowly but as eagerly out of our room. We needed answers, right now.

As we reached the living room, Carlisle was introducing a very nervous-looking vampire to all our family and friends, and I had to admit that Alistair, although closed-off and standoffish as I knew he was from our interactions on my blog and Carlisle's stories, tried his best to appear gracious and polite.

I focused hard on him, willing my mind-reading to turn on already, and caught a little of his thoughts as he forced a smile towards Kate and Garrett. ...don't appear threatening, but I'll be on my guard. Garrett is a hothead, always has been. And they're mated, ugh. Another sickeningly-sweet couple. Why have I agreed to come here again? Oh yeah, to help Golden Boy and his chick. And speak of the devil... Oh yeah, they look ill, all right. And the scar on Bella... Blimey, it's too late. Can't do anything about it, I suppose. Well, I'll tell them, and then I'll wash my hands from all this. And I have to track Caius... I knew I should've stayed in England. Why have I agreed again? And look who's here, another chick that...

His thoughts abruptly stopped as his mind went blank, preventing me from starting to ask the questions burning my lips, and I heard a loud gasp from the person he was looking at. Tanya.

"Oh, no," I muttered, feeling that our problems had just multiplied. "Not this."

"Edward?" Bella asked, echoing all the people around us save two, too engrossed in each other. "What's the matter?"

"Trouble," I just said as I concentrated on the future couple. And by the looks on both of their faces, I knew I was right and that it wouldn't be a walk in the park. And as I feared...

"No!" Alistair cried out suddenly, making everyone jump except me. "You've made me come here to be mated?! No! I refuse! That won't happen!"

He stormed out, hastily followed by a resolute-looking Alice and a more baffled Jasper and Carlisle, as Tanya let out a dejected sigh through her angry expression, her voice growing louder with each word she uttered. "Please tell me that's a joke! No wonder I had never met my mate before! Alistair never leaves his English shithole! Fuck, why in hell would I have to be mated with the biggest fucking vampire asshole ever walking this Earth?!"

A ringing silence followed her shouting, then Rosalie sighed. "Great. As if we hadn't enough on our plate already."

I really, really want to hear from you about this now, please! Much fun ahead! XD