STARING AT THE SUN
CHAPTER 10
BELLA P.O.V
The rest of the summer was spent either at work, or at the beach. Of course Jake wanted to spend every waking minute together. He was still worried about the fact that I was leaving for college and could meet someone new. I tried to reassure him as much as possible but I knew at the end of the day, he was going to believe whatever he wanted to believe.
Every Friday night after Charlie got off work, we would go over to see Billy and Jake. We would usually order food and sit around talking but tonight, I knew something was up when Billy and Charlie called me into the living room and Jacob followed behind.
"We just wanted to have a talk." Billy started. I didn't like the serious looks on their faces. I knew this was going to be bad. "We know that Bella is off to college and that you're both old enough but there was something we wanted to talk about." I exhaled and looked at Jacob who seemed as cool as a cucumber and was just sitting on the floor in front of me leaning against my legs.
"We just want to make sure you're being safe." My eyes widened. Charlie had tried to have the talk with me before but now that they were both sitting in front of us trying to have this conversation, it was much more awkward. "We know you're having sex we just want to make sure that you're both protected so that you don't have any unwanted children. We just want the best for you."
"Oh my god." I groaned closing my eyes and leaning my head back. This was the last thing I thought they were going to bring up.
"With Bella going off to college, I know you're going to visit and with no parents things can get out of hand." I sighed.
"I'm on birth control." I finally confirmed to both of them.
"And we use condoms every time." Jake added. We didn't need to give them details but that was enough for them to know that we were protecting ourselves. "You guys can relax. We're not stupid." He chuckled.
"We know you're not stupid but if you're not careful you can have a child before you're ready." Billy chimed in. I knew that they were just trying to make sure that we were being careful but we were adults who could handle it. At this point, I wasn't even sure if Jake wanted kids. We had never talked about it. We hadn't really talked about any future together yet, we just barely started dating. I didn't want to anything else to the conversation. All they needed to know was that we were protecting ourselves.
"I'm no longer having this conversation. I'm on birth control. We use condoms. That's enough asking us." Thankfully we had already eaten dinner and I'm sure Charlie would be on his way out soon.
I nearly ran to Jacob's room to lay under the cover's away from them. I was so sick of having this conversation with them. Of course I had told my mom that we were being safe and that I was on birth control. I told her to keep it a secret and she did.
I heard Jacob close the door before the bed shifted and he wrapped his arms around me.
"They're so embarrassing." I groaned moving my head to his chest.
"I know but they just want to make sure we're being safe. I want you to be able to go to college and not have anything stand in your way. I want you to graduate so you can get a good job. Then we can talk about marriage and kids if you want them." He commented.
"You think about getting married and having kids?"
"I think about being with you forever, yes. If that's marriage and a kid or two okay. I don't need those things. I just want you." He answered kissing my forehead. "I don't want to rush anything." I knew that there was some part of Jacob that wanted to be married and have kids. I wasn't sure if I was in the same place as him right now. I never felt like I wanted to be a mom but if Jacob was going to be their father, it wouldn't be that bad.
"It's not something I really think about." I commented not looking at him afraid of how he would react. "I'm not too sure about the kid thing." It wasn't that I was against having things, it was just never something I thought about. Jessica and Angela would talk about getting married and having kids in their future, sometimes even talking about baby names. It was never something I saw for myself. At least not until I met Edward. I had wanted to marry him pretty much from the moment I met him. Then he left and I think my feelings went back to where they were before. Then Jacob showed me that there is love and happiness after heartbreak.
"That's okay. Like I said, I just want you." I knew that the only way to carry on the wolf gene was to have a baby. I also knew that it would be extremely difficult for Jacob to watch his child go through the things he has gone through. I think right at this moment, we were both on the same page of not having kids until we were at least 30. "But, I would love to marry you some day." He smiled.
"If you asked, I would say yes." I answered running my hands through his hair that had grown a lot in the last few weeks. The front was almost at his eyes and the back completely covered his neck. "You're gonna need a haircut soon."
"I'm growing it out." He answered. "You like it long." He moved his body so we were face to face. I leaned in to kiss him just as there was a knock on the door. I sat up while he moved away from me. "Yeah?" Charlie swung open the door.
"I'm heading out for the night. Be safe." He said. "Call me if you need a ride or anything."
"I will. Have a good night. Love you." I smiled making him smile.
"Love you too, Bells." With that he left but of course left the door open. I decided to clean up the dishes from dinner for Billy before heading back to Jake's room.
"The guys are gonna come over for a fire soon if you wanna join us." He said grabbing my hand and pulling him to lay on top of him. He kicked the door shut with his foot and kissed me. He ran his hands up the back of my shirt and unclipped my bra.
"Aren't the guys coming over?" I asked moving so I was sitting on his lap and could see out the window.
"They can wait." He smiled holding my hips. I lifted my shirt over my head and let my bra fall into his lap. Right away he sat up and pressed his chest to mine while kissing me. I dug my nails into his back making him groan. Something I found that he liked in the many times that I had found myself naked in his bed.
I moved off of him just far enough so I could get my pants off while he took his off. I pushed him back and got on his lap kissing his chest and trying to pin his arms above his head.
"Darling, I have supernatural strength." He commented looking at his arms that I was holding down and he was able to easily move. I rolled my eyes before running my hands down his sides and resting right on his hips. "We better hurry." I he answered leaning over to grab a condom. I moved to allow him to roll it on before bracing myself against his chest and sinking down on him. I ground my hips into his moaning his name.
The moon was shining right into his room, lighting up his face that was watching me intently. He was holding my hips guiding me as I bounced slightly on top of him. I heard howling before gasping and covering my chest.
"They can't see you." He whispered chuckling. I'm sure if they paid attention enough, they would know exactly what we were doing. "But they can hear you." He smirked. I rolled off of him and pulled the blankets up. "We'll be fine." He whispered.
"I don't feel comfortable doing it while they're out there." I whispered back to him grabbing my shirt and putting it on. He rubbed my back and kissed the back of my head before handing me my pants. He was dressed much faster than me as I refused to stand up so they couldn't see me. I could hear their laughter get louder as more of the pack joined the group. Jake handed me my sweatshirt and gave me one of his so we could go join the group.
I also grabbed a blanket before heading out the back door. I greeted the guys before sitting next to Leah.
"Hey." She smiled at me.
"Hey." I smiled back. "How's it going?" Over the summer I had gotten much closer with Leah. Of course her mom and my dad had gotten much closer. They tried to claim they weren't seeing each other but I knew there was something more to their relationship than just dinner a couple nights a week.
"Good." She smiled. Jacob sat beside me with a beer. I looked at it and then up at his face.
"You're 17, Jake."
"It's one beer, Bells." He answered. Which was true, it was one beer but he was only 17. I turned my attention back to Leah who didn't seem at all phased that all of them had beers besides Seth.
"I'm moving to Hawaii." She randomly said to me.
"What?"
"I decided to move to Hawaii. I might take some classes. It's far enough that my mom won't visit every weekend but it's close enough that she can fly over if I need her." I smiled.
"That's amazing." I was excited for her. I had heard amazing things about Hawaii and I think she would really enjoy her time there.
"Yeah. I met some girls who were looking for a roommate and were willing to let me get settled before they expected me to pay rent. I have a little savings but it's just enough to get me out there."
"I think you'll love it out there." Not even that but she would be able to get away from all of these boys. She would be able to get away from the love who broke her heart. "Get away from this little town and go somewhere warm."
"I don't know how long I'll be there. I would love to travel the world." She smiled. The passion in her eyes made it seem like she was too big for the small town of La Push. She knew deep down in her heart that this town was no longer her home. "I'm homesick for a place I've never even been to." She whispered, her eyes falling on the fire. I wasn't sure what to say to her. Of course I wished her the best but I knew that leaving the place that you've called home for your entire life, wasn't a walk in the park.
"Gotta find it." I answered. "It's out there. And I can tell for you, this isn't the place." For some, Forks and La Push were draining. The rain and the moss and mushrooms growing off of trees. Before Jacob, before Edward, I knew that this wasn't going to be where I spent my life. Of course living with Charlie was the easy part. He wanted me to be here. He enjoyed me being here. But I liked the warm. After Jacob, I was willing to go wherever he wanted. "I will for sure be coming to visit." She laughed making me smile.
"I know how much you hate it here." She said. I looked at Jacob, who was smiling and joking. The crinkles beside his eyes on full display as he smiled.
"It's not so bad." Of course falling in love with Jacob was never part of my plan. I was just going to finish out high school here, move somewhere warm for college, and then be on my own. Things change and so did my plans.
"You can hate the place and love the people." She commented. I let her words sink in because I think she was right. I loved the people here, not the place. But I was willing to settle for this place because this is where Jacob wanted to be. And anywhere where Jacob was, was home.
I have no idea how it happened, but we ended up at the cliffs. All of the guys were shirtless and shoving each other off the edge.
"Now is your chance to jump." Jacob said wrapping his arms around me from behind. "Water is decently calm. It's decently warm outside." He shrugged. "I'll jump with you if you want."
"I don't know..." I trailed. I probably shouldn't have looked over the edge.
"It's now or never." He said. I nodded moving closer to the edge. He moved to hold my hand, counted to three and before I knew it, we were plummeting to the ocean below. I screamed right before hitting the water. Jacob's hand never left mine but the cold of the water took my breath away. I kicked as hard as I could to the surface before clinging to Jacob who's laugh rang loud and clear over the crashing waves against the rocks.
He moved me to his back so he could swim to shore. My clothes were half hanging off as he dragged me to the dry sand.
"That was amazing." The fall was quick but the adrenaline rushing through my body made me feel like I could lift a car. I laid on the sand, soaking wet, staring into the face of my boyfriend, my own personal sun and I didn't want to be anywhere else.
We laid on the beach for a while trying to dry off. Billy would be angry when we got home soaking wet and covered in sand. Eventually Jacob gave me a piggyback ride back to his house. When we got there all of the lights were off besides in the kitchen and the light on the porch.
Jacob was able to get us into his room without making noise. He helped me peel my clothes off before giving me a shirt and a pair of boxer's to wear to bed while he threw our clothes in the wash. I laid in his bed, watching him move around the house. Every so often I would catch his eye and he would grin at me. He grabbed a bag of Doritos before joining me in bed.
I sat against the wall looking at him as he held out the bag of chips for me. I took a few without saying anything.
"I'm going to miss you." We hadn't really talked about me leaving recently because I knew how much it upset him. "I don't want you to forget me."
"There's no way I could ever forget you. This is just something I have to do." I moved to sit in his lap and lean against him. His warmth was felt all over my body and I knew that once I went off to college, I would be cold.
"I know. And I support you." He was so young, I was his first girlfriend, I knew this wasn't easy.
"I know it's not easy but I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that we stay connected." I kissed his chest. "I'll ask Charlie to get me a phone. I'm sure he will. I'll call whenever I'm free." I knew that studying, classes and keeping up with my relationship were not going to be easy. When you wanted something that bad, you worked for it. I wanted Jacob, more than anything. But I also wanted a career. I was going to have to figure out how to balance the two.
"It's going to be weird not having you around." He held me tighter. I had noticed recently that he had been holding me tighter. Every kiss lingered a little longer. Every touch was more gentle and more thought out.
"It's going to be weird not living in Forks." I chuckled. "But right now I don't have classes on Friday so I can come home on Thursday's and spend all weekend with you and Charlie and then go back on Sunday night." I answered. "That might change though."
"As long as I get to see you sometimes." He answered kissing my forehead.
"I'm not going to leave and never come back. I want a life with you." I wrapped my arms around him so they rested on his shoulder's. "I want everything with you." I whispered looking into his brown eyes. They looked at me with so much love I could burst.
"I want you to live the life you want." I looked at him confused.
"You're what I want." I answered. He didn't ask a question but I never wanted him to doubt that he was the reason that I was doing this. I wanted to go to college and get a degree and work somewhere so that he wasn't the only one provider for us. I would love to get a cute little house with him on the Res and get married and have a kid. I wanted those things. Of course neither one of us were anywhere near that stage of our life but when it did come, I would be ready.
"I love you." He held my face in his hands so I couldn't get away from him. Not that I wanted to. I leaned in so my lips were nearly against his.
"I love you." I whispered smashing my lips to his. He held me against his body. I pulled away from the kiss to breathe, giving him the perfect time to kiss my neck. I moaned softly trying to get his shirt off but he refused to take his lips away from my neck. He quickly took his shirt off before taking mine off and kissing down my chest. He laid me gently on the bed as he kissed down to the band of the underwear I was wearing.
His kisses were slow. Gentle. Not so rushed. I wrapped my legs around his upper body making him laugh.
"Can I take these off?" He asked his finger's playing with the hem on my thigh.
"Yeah." I smiled at him. The urge to kiss him was slowly creeping up. "Kiss me." I whispered before he could get them off of me. He smiled moving to slowly kiss me, hovering over me so my entire body was covered by his own. I felt safe with him. He slowly pulled away, getting the boxer's off of me before taking his own off.
He grabbed a condom but didn't open it. Instead he laid between my legs, holding my thighs and sucked on my clit. I moaned, covering my mouth with one hand and grabbing his hair with the other. He stayed slow. Working me up and then pulling back to breath.
"Please. Jacob." I gasped pulling at him.
"What do you need?" He asked moving up my body to kiss me before hovering over me again.
"You. I need you inside me." I groaned raising my hips trying to get some sort of friction from him. He kissed me once more before rolling on the condom. He slowly thrust into me making me gasp and reach for him. He held himself against my body but was making sure he wasn't crushing me.
I attached my lips to his as he slowly thrust. For us, sex was always fast and rough. It was never about making love. It was about getting the job done. About getting the other to feel good. As much as I enjoyed that, this was ten times better. To know that he was in love with me just as much as I was in love with him made everything I was feeling ten times more pleasurable.
His finger's moved to rub my clit as I moaned into his neck. He was sweating, which in turn made me sweat.
"I love you." I moaned into his ear. He groaned into my neck, kissed it and then moved to kiss my lips. I wanted this to last forever. I never wanted to leave his arms.
"I love you more." He whispered moving so I could see his face. I moved the hair out of his eyes looking directly at him as I orgasmed. I knew that I was being way too loud and that Billy would either be knocking at the door or we would hear about it in the morning but right now I don't think either one of us cared.
I didn't realize he had orgasmed at the same time until he groaned in my ear and pulled out. He laid beside me breathing. I rolled into him as he covered us with a blanket. I kissed his chest, watching it rise and fall at a steady pace before looking up at his face. His eyes were closed, his eyelashes sitting delicately on his cheeks. His lips were slightly open and swollen. I ran my finger over them making sure I was being gentle but it still startled it.
"I was almost asleep." He laughed. I smiled watching his face.
"I'm not tired." I whispered.
"You should be." He mumbled. It was nearing 3 in the morning. He was right, I should be tired but my brain wouldn't be quiet.
"I'm not. That happens to people who are in love." He opened one eye to look at me and grinned.
"In love huh?" I nodded before he closed his eye. "I'm in love with you too." Of course I already knew that. It still felt good for him to say it. I giggled moving my body even closer to him. He hissed and held my lower half away from his.
"What?"
"Guys get sensitive too."
"Oh." I laughed covering my mouth. "Sorry." He ran his fingers down my back and gently rubbed over my lower back right above my butt. It right away calmed me. I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to sleep. Jacob's breathing changed as he fell asleep. I was able to fall asleep knowing that he felt safe and that he was in a state of comfort.
The next day when we got up Billy was in the kitchen making himself a burger.
"Little early to be making burger's don't you think, old man?" Jake asked him as he moved over our laundry.
"It's almost 4 in the afternoon, Jacob." He answered.
"Oh shit." Jacob laughed. "Sam is gonna kill me." He answered rushing around. "I was suppose to patrol at noon." As if on cue Sam came into the house and looked at both of us.
"Dude."
"I'm sorry."
"I understand the days with Bella here are numbered but we agreed on a time." He crossed his arms.
"I'll make it up to you." Jake commented. "I promise."
"That's not the point." I knew not to mess with Sam. I knew that he could make Jake do things for the pack that he didn't want to do just because Sam was alpha. "We agreed on a time. I expected you to be there." Jake had asked for Saturday's off until I went off to school so that we could spend them together.
"I'll just come now." He huffed. "It's not that big of a deal." Jacob rolled his eyes. I could tell Sam was annoyed as he looked from Jacob to me. Who was still just in his shirt and boxer's. "Just give me a few minutes and I'll be there."
"Seth did it for you. I expect you to be there tomorrow." With that he left. I sheepishly looked over at Jake. If I had known he had to patrol I wouldn't have kept him awake all night.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled.
"It's not your fault, baby. I didn't think I would sleep that late." I could tell that Billy was just as annoyed as Sam. Of course right now there wasn't any vampire danger. At least not that any of us knew. He kissed my head quickly before making us burgers. I couldn't help but not want him to leave and help Sam. I wanted him all to myself and it gave me anxiety when he was off fighting vampires.
"I won't keep you up anymore." I answered. He sighed. I knew he really didn't mind but I also knew how exhausted he was. Between me, work and the pack, he rarely slept. "I want to make sure you're sleeping."
"I'm sleeping just fine." He answered setting my burger in front of me. He sat down to eat with me. "But I should go spend a few hours with the pack. So when your clothes are done I'll drive you home. I can come by later tonight." He smiled.
"All right. That sounds good." I smiled at him finishing my food and getting up to clean my plate. Of course I didn't want to leave him knowing that our time was limited but I also knew that the pack was here first. He had a loyalty to them that he couldn't just forget about because of me.
Once our clothes were done, I got dressed and he drove me home. I kissed him before heading inside. Charlie was sitting with the dog on the couch. I gave her a quick pet before going off to shower.
Charlie had decided on Chinese for dinner and ordered it from his favorite place in town. We ate together before I headed up to my room. Just as he had promised, Jake was throwing rocks at my bedroom window right after Charlie went to sleep.
"Hi, beautiful." He smiled as he climbed in the window and took his shoes, pants, and shirt off before climbing into bed beside me. "Someday we'll never have to say goodbye, just goodnight." He smiled kissing me.
"Someday." I smiled. "Good night."