Nocturnal Dementia

IV: A Little Help From Squee-Er, Todd

"You didn't have to do that." Devi muttered, wiping her face with her sleeve. Johnny continued to stare down at her with a seemingly emotionless stare. For a few odd seconds the two just stood there in the rain, staring at each other. Devi looked back at Johnny in confusion. It seemed as if he was daydreaming.

"Uh, Nny? Hello?" Devi waved her hand in front of Johnny's face but he didn't seem to faze.

"Are you in there?"

A few more seconds of silence passed and Johnny seemed to wake up.

I think I found a flower in a field of weeds.

"Huh? Oh…yeah." He muttered dazedly. He shook his head to rid himself what he had left of his daze and he turned on his heel to walk back home.

"W-wait! Johnny…" Devi called after him. Johnny was about to hit the sidewalk when he stopped. He turned halfway to face her.

"Uh…thanks." She said it quietly, but it was loud enough for Johnny to hear. He nodded wordlessly towards her and left.

--

She was becoming too much of a hassle.

She was plaguing his mind like an unwanted disease. He wanted out.

What could he do? She's been bothering him the past seven years. Even though he's rid himself of all emotion he still found her buried at the very back of his mind, and she was too stubborn to leave. Now that he's back in the city, she seemed to be more bothersome than ever.

Johnny stared vacantly at his worn down house, an upset feeling warming his stomach. He didn't feel like going home at the moment. He was afraid that Reverend Meat would somehow repair himself and start talking to him again. His chocolate irises wandered the street until he stopped on the house to the left of his.

Squee. He had to see him, but what if he was still at the mental institution?

Johnny had to try. He made his way across the empty lawn and peered through Squee's window. It was too dark to see the contents of the room, but Johnny noticed that the walls were no longer covered with happy face wallpaper. It was painted a dull, emotionless grey.

Johnny tapped the window. There was no reply. He tried again. This time, a deep, sullen voice replied to his tapping.

"…Scary Neighbour Guy?"

Johnny instantly knew it was Squee who said that. No one else ever called him 'Scary Neighbour Guy' except for him. The window slowly slid open, revealing a thin faced, pale skinned teenager with feathery, messy raven hair and depressing silver grey eyes.

"Squee? Is that really you?" Johnny choked. He almost forgot that it has been seven years since he last saw the little boy. Squee let him inside the room. Johnny took a quick look around. It was no longer the child's room he remembered sneaking into every once in a while. The walls were a steel grey. The cartoon character posters have been replaced with weird looking metal bands.

Squee has sure sprouted over the years. He was just about up to Johnny's shoulders. The little island of black hair has grown out. Squee kept it very short at the back to spike it out, but he left the front very long. His bangs were swept to the side so that it covered his left eye. The sides were cut layered along the ears. Johnny cringed; he wasn't very fond of 'emo' kids, though he vaguely remembered being sort of one back in his younger years.

Squee was dressed in semi-tight jeans with ripped parts at the knees. A heavy studded belt with a Superman buckle kept it up, even though it seemed tight enough to hold itself. His upper body was covered with a small, child's size grey shirt of some band. He was sickly thin; almost as thin as Johnny.

"Todd." The boy replied dully. Johnny chuckled a little bit.

"I always told you that I liked Squee better." He replied, sitting on the single bed stowed away in the corner.

"And I've always told you that my real name was Todd." Squee grunted. Johnny could sense Squee's glare and he nodded.

"Alright, I suppose I should call you Todd…since you're grown up now and whatnot. Say…I thought you were at the institute. Since when were you let out?" Johnny asked, attempting to strike up a conversation. Squee-er, Todd, turned his back to Johnny and stared at the blank wall.

"I was put into the institution when I was nine. I was let out when I was fourteen." Todd grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. Johnny nodded in reply.

"So…you're like what…sixteen now?"

Todd nodded silently. A dissatisfied smirk crept up on Johnny's thin lips.

"Shit. I've been away too long haven't I?"

Todd shook his head and turned to face his neighbour. His once big, innocent eyes have been replaced with smaller, sleepy yet crestfallen eyes that showed living proof of how cruel and vile the world really is. Over the years Todd has grown out of his innocence and he drank every word that Johnny said to him the day he left. Now he understood what he meant by how vile people were, and how easy it was to give into one's own anger. Johnny could see in Todd that he now understood. He was old enough to open his eyes, to take in the harsh reality of this world. It almost brought a smile to Johnny's face, knowing that there was another being on this earth that understood what he was thinking.

He just hoped that Todd didn't turn out to be exactly like him.

"So why are you here? Need some bactine or something?" Todd asked, breaking Johnny from his thoughts. Johnny shook his head quickly. A sudden thought raced into his mind.

Maybe he can help. Todd's a teenager; he would know…right? It doesn't hurt to try.

"Uh, well no…but I came to…er, ask you something. I need help on something and I thought you'd be of some help." Johnny explained, fiddling with his hands. Todd raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"It's girl problems isn't it? Don't ask-I can tell by the way you're talking-oh, and the way you're playing with your hands like that." Todd replied almost automatically, a smirk playing on his lips. Johnny smiled nervously in return.

"Dammit Sq-Todd, you've grown up."

Todd ignored the comment and continued rambling.

"It's Devi isn't it?"

Johnny almost choked on his saliva. He shot a shocked look at his neighbour.

"Wha-how do you…"

"I met her at the café a couple of years back, when I was just released from the institution. My parents didn't even bother to pick me up as usual-hell, I don't even think they noticed I was gone-but anyways, yeah, I met her, and she recognized me as 'the kid that Nny always used to talk about' and we struck up a conversation. The rest is history." Todd explained, cocking his head to the side. Johnny nodded slowly. He remembered talking to Devi about Sq-Todd a couple of times. He ever expected them to coincidentally meet though.

"Do…do you still talk to her?" Johnny stuttered shakily. He clamped his eyes shut after he saw Todd nod.

"We meet regularly at the café. She's a nice person-she lets me stay over when my parents are being jackasses, which, you may know by now, is most of the time. She's sorta like a big sister to me, if you will." Todd explained. Johnny cast his gaze to the dark carpet and nodded again. He tried finding words to say but his mouth ran dry and his throat seemed to be closing up on him.

"So…when's the next time you're gonna talk to her?" Johnny asked nervously. Todd ran a hand through his untidy hair, his silvery eyes glinting under the dim light from outside.

"Whenever I want to." He replied simply. He walked over to his bedside table and picked up a small orange bottle, where he popped the white cap open and turned it on an angle so that its contents would come out. Cupping a hand underneath the opening, he shook the bottle a little bit, only to reveal a single capsule tumbling into his open palm. Johnny instantly recognized the pill-it was Prozac.

"I've been on these babies for seven years straight." Todd said a little lightly, popping the capsule into his mouth and downing it with a glass of water that was sitting idly on the end table. Johnny nodded and got up from the bed.

"Is…is that the only medication you're on?" He asked slowly, unsure of the question he was asking. Todd shook his head and set down the now half empty glass.

"I'm on two sleeping aides and another anti-depressant. What you've done was pretty fuckin' traumatizing for a nine year old-hell; it would be horrifying for anybody."

Johnny gave him a sheepish smile and scratched the back of his head. He suddenly felt uncomfortable having this conversation with his neighbour.

"Yeah…I sorta thought so. Uh, anyways, sorry for intruding…I think it's time for me to get outta here. I'll talk to you later, Sq-Todd." He said with a simple wave, and began to crawl out the window. He stopped midway when Todd tapped his shoulder. Johnny turned to face his neighbour.

"Ah, the hell with it…Squee sounds way better than Todd when you say it."

This brought a true smile to Johnny C's face.