Hermione pushed the window open, immediately spotting smoke coming from Vauxhill Bridge. "What happened?" asked Ron, trying to get a good view of the incident.
"Can you see if anyone's hurt?" asked John.
"It's hard to tell from up here, but it's pretty likely," said Hermione, turning to face him. "You're a doctor, right?"
"I am," said John.
"So am I," said the Doctor.
"Great, hold my hands," said Hermione. The Doctor immediately grabbed her right hand, knowing what was about to happen.
"…what?" asked John.
"Trust me," said Hermione, offering her left hand to him. John reluctantly grabbed her offered hand, and a second later the three of them vanished.
"Is now a bad time to mention I'm also a doctor?" asked Martha.
"What the hell just happened?" asked Gene, staring in shock.
"They apparated," said Harry, as if that explained everything.
"I'm going to assume that's a fancy way of saying teleported?" asked Sherlock.
"World's greatest detective, that one," said Ron.
"I'd like to think I am," said Sherlock, as Q's phone went off.
"That can't be good," said Q. "Only a handful of people know this number." Q opened his phone, and the first thing he saw was a video. "…I have a bad feeling about this."
"Let's see it sir," said James. "We're gonna need to see it anyway."
"I guess," said Q, pressing play on the video.
"Hello everyone," said a man in the video. "Moriarty's back, baby. It's not everyday you get to meet a man who successfully committed suicide, but here we are."
"When I'm through with him, he'll want to commit it again," said Sherlock, a look of anger on his face.
"So," continued Moriarty. "Some of you may be wondering, 'Moriarty, what are you going to do differently this time?' Well, I'll tell you what's going to be different: I've got a new crew to help me."
"Don't imply that we're beneath you, Moriarty," said someone just off camera.
"Oh, Keats, you big kidder," said Moriarty, wrapping his arm around Keats's shoulder. "Come on, give the world a big smile."
"Get your hand off me before I remove it from your arm," said Keats, clearly not amused by Moriarty.
"Ooh, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," said Moriarty, the camera swinging around to see someone else. "Hey Tom, whatcha up to?"
"What are you even doing?" asked Voldemort, looking at the camera with a confused expression. "What is that thing you're holding?"
"It's a camera, so I can broadcast this to the entire world," said Moriarty, leaning in close to the camera. "He's a wizard, but I'm not supposed to tell anyone that…oops."
"He can't do that…" said Harry, suddenly looking pale. "He can't just expose wizardkind like this."
"Looks like he can," said Ron, also looking shaken from Moriarty's comments.
"Exactly what are you implying from your comments, Moriarty?" asked Voldemort, his wand in his hand.
"Ooh, ooh, he's gonna show us a magic trick," said Moriarty, suddenly very excited. "What are you going to show us, Tommy?"
"I'll show the world you dropping dead if you call me 'Tommy' again," snapped Voldemort, glaring at Moriarty. "I'm trying to decide which spell would be best for breaking that thing you're holding."
"HEY! No breaking my toys," said Moriarty, moving away from the Dark Lord. "Hey Blofeld, what's happening?"
"Oh, just admiring my handiwork," said Blofeld, sitting in front of a laptop with live footage of the burning bridge.
"And very nicely done, my friend," said Moriarty, watching the screen for a few seconds. "Ah, here comes the man of the hour, even if he is a woman."
"I prefer the term time lord," said the Master, calmly walking into frame. "And good news: phase one of the plan has worked. He's where I suspected he'd go. The Doctor can't resist helping people when they're in trouble."
"Excellent," said Moriarty. "Well, gotta go folks. I don't wanna miss the show. Tootle pip." The video ended abruptly, leaving the group stunned by what they'd just seen.
"…Hermione!" cried Ron, realising what the villains were about to do. Without warning, Ron vanished from the room, no doubt going to warn Hermione's group of what's coming.
"Guys, I don't mean to alarm anyone," said Martha, looking up from her phone. "But that video we just watched already has half a million views on YouTube."
"What the hell is YouTube?" asked Gene.
"That's not important right now," said Harry. "We know where they're about to be. Come on, we can stop them right now."
"That seems suicidally dangerous," said Sherlock.
"I hate that I have to agree with Mr. Holmes," said Mary. "But unfortunately…"
"So, what happens? Do we just hold your hands, and then…" asked Sherlock.
"Yep, and then I'll take us outside," said Harry, as Martha grabbed his arm. "Though I don't normally take this many people at once."
"High risk of uneven weight distribution?" asked Sherlock.
"Sort of," said Harry. "More like a high risk of splinching."
"Okay, now you're just making up words to annoy me," said Sherlock, grabbing Harry's other hand.
"I'll take the girl's hand," said Gene, grabbing Martha's hand. "Don't really feel like looking like a poofter."
"What did you just say?" snapped Martha.
"Oh, don't get me wrong darl," said Gene. "I don't give a rat's arse if you're a dyke or not, mostly because there's more pressing matters at hand."
"Excuse me?!" yelled Martha. "I'm not a…"
"All aboard," said James, intentionally grabbing Gene's other hand. "Let's get moving, Mr. Potter."
"OI!" shouted Gene. "I didn't you say could…" Whatever else Gene was about to say was cut off as Harry apparated out of the room.
"They know they can just use the stairs, right?" asked Q.
"Not when time is of the essence," said Mary, marching up to the window. "I just hope they know what they're doing."
Outside on the bridge was a scene of chaos. A hole had opened up in the middle of the road, several cars were burning, people were running and screaming in all directions trying to get away from the destruction. So, no-one paid attention when five people suddenly appeared on the bridge out of nowhere in front of a petrol tanker.
"Ugh, let's never do that again," said Martha, stumbling a bit before sinking to her knees.
"Yeah, everyone's like that after their first time apparating," said Harry, noticing the truck behind them. "Hey, do you know anything about driving one of those?"
"Not really, why?" asked Martha.
"Depending on what happens, we may need it," said Harry. "What are the chances you can get it to the other end of the bridge?"
"Not great," said Martha. "But I can give it a go."
"Good to hear," said Harry, running off down the bridge. "Ron?! Hermione?!"
"Good news darl, the keys are still in the ignition," said James.
"Excellent," said Martha, flashing a quick smile at James before getting in the truck.
"Oh, sure, when I call her darl, she gets offended," said Gene. "But when Mr. Young and Sexy spy says it, she gets all flirty."
"We…have more important things to concern ourselves with," said Sherlock, forcing himself to stay on his feet. "John? Where are you?" Sherlock called out to his friend, hobbling away as he did so.
"Jeez, everyone's in such a hurry to die today," said Gene.
"Oh, shut up and help me find where the bad guys are," said James, pulling out his gun.
"Didn't Poppins take that off you?" asked Gene, pulling out his own gun.
"You really think I only carry one gun?" asked James. "Come on, we have work to do."
Meanwhile, further down the bridge…
"Guys, there you are," said Harry, running up to Ron and Hermione. "Where are the doctors?"
"Getting as many people to safety as possible," said Hermione. "Has there been any sign of trouble?"
"You mean other than the gaping hole in the bridge?" asked Harry. "Not yet. Which is concerning. You'd think they'd…" Harry was suddenly cut off by a loud shrieking sound, as though someone had just plugged in a microphone.
"Hello? Is this thing on?" came the voice of Moriarty. "Eh, even if it's not, I'm going to keep talking. It'll make the surprise attack more surprising. Anyway, to the one known as the Doctor…wait, doctor who?"
"No, no, just the Doctor," came the voice of the Master.
"Okay, weird, but whatever," said Moriarty. "My friend here, who has ever so kindly decided to bring me back to life, has a few old acquaintances they want you to meet."
Further down the bridge…
"Oh, that can't be good," said the Doctor, who was paying more attention to the announcement that the injured people at this point.
"Why? What's about to happen?" asked John, who'd just finished wrapping up a woman's bleeding arm.
"Okay, here's what I need you to do," the Doctor. "If a bunch of large metal salt and pepper shakers come up and start saying 'exterminate', run away. If a bunch of robots come up and start killing people, run away. If a bunch of angel statues turn up, run away backwards and for the love of God don't blink. In fact, just get ready to run away, okay?"
"What the hell sort of enemies have you made?" asked John.
"When you're nine hundred years old and always getting involved in intergalactic politics, some people just hold grudges, okay?" asked the Doctor, watching as a truck on the other side of the river opened its back door.
"THERE HE IS!" said a very robotic voice, and suddenly a gold covered robot wheeled itself out onto the road. "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"
"Okay, it's the salt and pepper shakers," said the Doctor, grabbing John's hand dragging him behind an overturned car. "Run. Go get the TARDIS, we may need it to escape."
"Wait, what? I don't know how to fly that thing," said John, as the Doctor forced a key into his hand.
"Just press some buttons on the console, it'll probably figure out what to do," said the Doctor. "Or you'll end up in the past. Either way, just get going."
"That doesn't sound…" started John, but the Doctor was already running out of their hiding spot. "This won't end well." John sighed, then started running back towards the MI6 building.
The Doctor ran between abandoned cars, drawing fire from the Daleks. When he got close, he pulled out his sonic screwdriver from his coat pocket, and pointed it at another nearby car. The car began rolling towards the Daleks. "Beep beep," called the Doctor in a mocking tone.
"WHAT IS THIS?" asked one of the front Daleks, as the car drove into it and continued to plough through a few of his allies behind him.
"It's a car," said the Doctor. "Come on now, I'm sure you've been to Earth enough times to know what it is."
"YOU DARE MAKE A FOOL OF US, DOCTOR?!" asked one of the other Daleks.
"Well, if you're going to make it so easy to do so…" said the Doctor, use the sonic screwdriver to turn the car around to hit some of the Daleks from behind.
"EXTERMINATE!" said one of the Daleks, which erupted into a chorus of agreement as the Daleks began firing on the car the Doctor was hiding behind.
"Well, this isn't going as well as I hoped," said the Doctor, seeing parts of the car start to disappear under the constant assault from the Daleks. The Doctor knew that soon his hiding spot would no longer be usable, and the many of the nearby cars were too far away for him to safely escape to. If only something would come along…
"EXPELLIARMUS!" came the cry of three people, and suddenly three of the Daleks had their main guns ripped out of the front of the casings.
The Doctor turned to see Harry, Ron, and Hermione running towards the Daleks, flinging numerous spells at them and sending the Daleks into a panic. "Be careful, you three," said the Doctor, coming out of his hiding spot. "They will try to kill you if they get the chance."
"Yeah, yeah," said Harry, hitting another Dalek with a spell that sent it flying back twenty feet. "Been there, done that, got the scar to prove it."
"We've been getting into dangerous situations for years," said Hermione, hitting one with a spell so accurately that it exploded. "We know what we're doing…somewhat."
"Well, I haven't been doing much dangerous stuff lately," said Ron, who still managed to send another Dalek tumbling backwards. "Unless you count testing some of George's new products. But still, we can handle this."
"That's what I like to hear," said the Doctor, pointing his sonic screwdriver at another car to take its handbrake off.
The four of them continued to push back the Daleks, slowly taking each one out, when the Doctor noticed something in the air. "…oh no, they didn't…" he said.
"What's wrong?" asked Harry.
"If I told you that these guys can fly, would you be upset?" asked the Doctor.
"Well, yeah, but not with you," said Ron. "Why?"
"Ron, just look up," sighed Hermione.
Ron looked up, and saw the incoming flying Daleks. "Ah, that would be bad," he said, as they were surrounded by hostile aliens.
"THE DOCTOR AND HIS MAGICAL FRIENDS WILL BE EXTERMINATED!" said one of the Daleks, as the group began raising the voices in agreement and pointing the guns at the group.
"Well, it was nice knowing you all," said the Doctor. "I'll probably regenerate a few times before I go. You guys might not be so lucky."
"PROTEGO!" yelled Hermione, raising a shield around the group.
"An excellent idea," said the Doctor, as the Daleks began firing. "You've delayed our deaths by a minute. What's step two of the plan?"
"I'm still working on that part," said Hermione, firing counter spells at the Daleks with her friends.
All of a sudden, there was a gunshot, and one of the Dalek's guns broke off its body. "I have no idea what you think you are," said Gene, firing again. "But now you have to deal with a couple of armed bastards."
"I suppose that's one way of describing us," said James, shooting a few of the Daleks in what he assumed was their eyes.
"Pretty sure three people makes us a trio," said Sherlock, also shooting a few of the Daleks. "Anyone have some magnets to screw up these robots?"
"They're not robots technically," said the Doctor. "More like a super intelligent lifeform in battle armour."
"Dumb looking armour," said Ron, putting a shield charm around the new arrivals.
"DOCTOR!" said one of the Daleks. "YOU WILL TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO BACK DOWN AND SURRENDER YOURSELF TO US. THEN AND ONLY THEN MAY WE EVEN CONSIDER LETTING THEM LIVE!"
"Reducto," cried Harry, blowing one of the Daleks to pieces.
"That's all the answer you're going to get from us," said the Doctor, as he and his friends continued wreaking havoc on the Daleks around them. "By the way, where's Martha?"
"Oh, she'll be here soon," said Hermione.
"I wish she wouldn't, it's a little dangerous here," said the Doctor. "Wait, what's that?" Down the road, a petrol tanker had just turned off of Millbank, and was racing towards them and aiming at the Daleks.
"Ah, that would be our cue to get out of the way," said Hermione, turning around and grabbing the Doctor's hand as she started running away. "Boys?"
"Already working on it," said Ron, pointing his wand at the truck's wheels. "Diffindo." The tyres of the truck popped immediately, causing it to go into a slide. The driver immediately jumped out, as Harry pointed his wand at her.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" shouted Harry, floating Martha away from the truck as it crashed into the Daleks. The tanker split open, pouring petrol across the bridge.
"INCENDIO!" yelled Hermione as everyone got clear of the crash, sending a small flame at the spill…
…a small flame that caused a large explosion. The trio and Martha barely managed to take cover as the tanker exploded, knocking any remaining Daleks out of the sky or into the Thames, with the flames engulfing the ones on the ground.
"Remind me never to agree to one of your plans again," said Martha.
"What the hell is wrong with you four?" demanded Gene, storming up to the group. "If we weren't being invaded by murderous aliens, I'd have all of you behind bars for attempting to destroy a bridge."
"Yeah, yeah, we know," said Hermione. "But be honest, do you really think you could have handled all of them without doing that?"
"…That is not the point here," said Gene after a moment of consideration. "What matters is…what is that noise?"
"Ah, Dr. Watson must be here," said the Doctor, as the alarm sound got louder and the blue police box came into view.
As the TARDIS fully materialised, the door opened and John poked his head out. "Wow, it actually worked," he said, before looking at the scene before him. "What the hell just happened here?"
"Sorry mate, you missed out on all the fun," said Ron.
"I wouldn't call nearly getting incinerated 'fun'," said Martha, walking into the TARDIS.
"Well, you're the one who apparently agreed to it," said the Doctor. "So really, that's on…" All of a sudden, something shot out of the smoking debris at the end of the bridge, striking the Doctor in the chest.
"DOCTOR!" screamed Martha, as Harry and Hermione both pulled their wands out and watched as a Dalek, heavily damaged and melting away in some parts, rolled awkwardly towards the group.
"EX…TERMIN…ATE!" wheezed the Dalek, forcing itself to keep going.
"Reducto!" yelled both Harry and Hermione at the same time, turning the thing to dust.
"How badly did he piss those things off that they'd keep going after him in that condition?" asked Gene.
"That's not important right now," said James, picking up the Doctor with Sherlock and dragging him into the TARDIS. "Is there somewhere we can go so we can get him treated?"
"I know a place," said Harry.
"Good, tell me where," said Martha, taking Harry to the control panel. "Everyone, get in here before we leave, because I'm not waiting."