STARING AT THE SUN
CHAPTER 19
BELLA P.O.V
I wasn't giving up the fight on finding an apartment for Jacob and I to live in. Charlie however, said he wasn't talking about it anymore. He screamed until he was red in the face that I wasn't old enough to run a household. We got into it so bad that he stormed out of the house and hasn't been back in hours.
I was fuming. Screaming into the phone at Jacob. Who was clearly blind sided cause he just sat there and took it. Although I wasn't screaming because of him. I was just screaming at him. Charlie and I never got into fights like these. Clearly it was a topic that he wasn't willing to talk about.
So I called in the big guns and called mom.
"Honey, I think he's right. You and Jake have only been dating for a year. Are you really ready to live together?" She asked. I was coming up on 20 very soon and Jacob would be 19 a few months after. Lots of couples moved in together at this age.
"I think we are." I answered. I knew that no one was going to support us in that decision. They had all made that pretty clear. I think Billy would be on board but Billy also knew that Jacob could take care of himself.
"You have to understand, Bella. We were married young. We had a baby young. It didn't work out for us." She said. "He doesn't want the same for you."
"Jacob is it for me."
"You don't know that." She started. "Bella, there is more to life than just being someone's wife and someone's mother. There is a big huge world out there that you haven't gotten to experience yet." I sighed. "Too many kids from small towns like Forks and La Push feel like they're stuck there. They marry someone from high school and they're stuck. Do you really want to be there?"
"I want to be where Jacob is." I answered. I would follow him anywhere. But his place in this world was here. He was born to be a leader. I would stand by his side as he became a true leader. "Not all young couples break up."
"Have you ever been in a relationship where you haven't broken up?"
"Not yet."
"Exactly." I sighed.
"Okay, I gotta go."
"Bells."
"Bye, love you." I then hung up and flung myself face first onto my bed. I just wanted to disappear for a few hours. Sadly Jacob was working and couldn't come save me. But we did have a double date with Rachel and Paul planned for tonight. I let myself lay in bed for an hour before getting up to shower. Billy was going to let Rachel move in with Paul, who was much less mature than Jacob.
I turned the shower on before slowly stripping and getting in. I couldn't remember the last time I took a shower and didn't have Jacob busting the curtain open to join me. I let the normal temperature water run over my skin and sighed. I washed my body before washing my hair. I stepped out and dried off before wrapping myself in a towel.
I mostly dried off and headed to my bedroom to pick out something to wear. I grabbed a pair of ripped skinny jeans that Rachel had talked me into buying. I grabbed a simple red shirt and a pair of vans. We were just going out to dinner so I didn't have to dress up. I quickly got dressed and grabbed a pair of Vans before the front door slammed.
"Bella." Charlie called from downstairs. Great.
"What's wrong?" I asked at the top of the stairs. He was at the bottom of the stairs with his arms crossed.
"You really dragged your mother into this?" I sighed. "You're not moving out."
"Why?" I asked. He always said it was because I wasn't mature enough.
"You're not ready to move out." He commented. I rolled my eyes.
"I want a real reason. What are you afraid of?" I asked. I watched his face as he thought about. Whatever he was concerned about was written all over his face.
"When couples move in together, they get pregnant." I just looked at him.
"You're kidding right?" I asked. I don't know how many times I could tell him and Billy that I was on birth control. I felt like we were always having this conversation. I knew that we were young but we were also adults who weren't idiots. "You're fear if we move in together is that we're going to get pregnant? What's stopping me from getting pregnant right now?" I grabbed my keys and purse.
"Where are you going?"
"I have plans with Rachel, Paul and Jake." I answered. "You know we're not stupid right?" So we didn't use condoms every single time we had sex, but I was on birth control. "I thought you trusted me?"
"I do trust you. It's him I don't trust." There was no reason to not trust him. He has proven himself time and time again that he would never let anything bad happen to me.
"There's no reason for you to not trust him."
"There's tons of reasons to not trust him." I shook my head.
"Why?"
"Your last boyfriend didn't exactly treat you how you should be treated." It didn't matter how long it had been, it still tugged on my heart strings when Edward was brought up in conversation.
"Jacob is nothing like Edward." I glared at him. "I'll see you later." I ripped open the door and slammed it behind me before running down the stairs and getting into my truck before he could stop me.
I quickly started the truck and threw it in reverse pulling out onto the street to head to Jacob's. He should be getting off of work right now and heading home to shower. I could just wait for him.
I was fuming by the time I got there but his car was in the driveway. I headed inside, Billy was sitting in the living room watching tv.
"Hello, Bella." He smiled as I came in.
"Hi, Billy." I smiled.
"He's in the shower but Rachel and Paul are in her room." He commented.
"Thanks." I smiled heading down the small hallway to her room. The door was open and she was sitting on the floor putting on eye makeup in front of the mirror. "Hey." I commented. Paul was laying on her bed scrolling on her phone. I sat beside him as I looked at Rachel. "My dad is crazy." I shook my head.
"Yeah?" She asked looking at me in the mirror. "What did he do?"
"He was screaming at me that I wasn't old enough to move out."
"That doesn't make him crazy." She chuckled. "He's just protective."
"But he doesn't need to protect me from Jacob." I answered.
"I know that. But you're always going to be his little girl. He's never going to feel ready to let you move out. Don't take it so personal." I sighed. I knew she was right but I was still angry. Movement in the doorway made me turn. Jacob was standing there in just a towel, glaring at Paul who wasn't even paying attention. I smiled at him, his body still wet. I tilted my head a little looking at him. "Jesus christ, Jacob." Rachel said. "I can see your junk. Go get dressed." He chuckled motioning for me to follow him with his head before he turned and headed to his room. I stood and followed him. He closed the door behind us before moving to stand in front of his dresser. His butt also looked good in the towel. I sat on the bed while he pulled out his clothes and got dressed.
He dressed in a pair of shorts and a black t-shirt that clung to his muscles. His hair was slightly falling into his eyes. He looked so good. I felt like I didn't belong with him. He deserved so much more than me. Once he was dressed, he turned to me with a smile. He leaned down and kissed me. He smelled like the old spice body washed he used. I could bite him he smelled so good.
"Ready to go?" He asked resting his hand against my face. I nodded up at him. He leaned down once more before kissing me. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer. I leaned back but he pulled back. "We can't right now." He pulled me up to my feet before we joined Paul and Rachel in the kitchen. They were both also dressed just as simply as us. "Bye, Dad. Call if you need anything okay?" Jacob commented as we all headed out the door.
We followed Rachel to her car but Paul was going to drive. I got in the back with Jacob who right away started complaining about not having any leg room.
"Move up, Rach." He whined. I could see her roll her eyes but she moved the seat up. I held his hand as Paul drove.
We got to the restaurant and Jacob held the door open for all of us. We followed the hostess over to our table. I slid into the booth and Jacob got in beside me. I right away lifted up the menu to look. Our waitress came over and introduced herself. I didn't like the way her eyes lingered on Jacob. If it wasn't for his arm thrown behind me she probably would have hit on him. I looked over at Rachel who clearly didn't like her either.
We all ordered drinks before deciding to get a few appetizers. While they decided on that, I was looking for a meal. I decided to go with a burger. Jacob's hand moved from the back of the seat to rest beside my thigh. I looked over at him, he was deep in a conversation with Paul about some car that had come into the shop.
"So, what if we all got an apartment together?" Rachel asked setting her menu down on the table.
"Fuck no." Jacob commented before I could even say anything. The whole point of us moving out on our own was that we could have privacy. Not that Rachel and Paul would be up our butts but I didn't really wanna live with them and hear what goes on at night. Whenever Billy slept at my house with my dad, I could hear everything that happened.
"Why not?"
"The point of us moving out is so we don't hear you anymore." She rolled her eyes at him.
"You're ridiculous." She sighed.
"Rach, I'm sorry. I love you but I'm sick of hearing you." I said.
"As if I'm not sick of seeing you two on the couch." I immediately blushed. Paul burst out laughing.
"Jesus Christ." Jacob mumbled. The waitress came over and sat our drinks down. We all ordered our food.
"My dad won't let me move out anyway so we don't need to worry about it." I sighed as I played with my straw.
"Dads." Paul said shaking his head.
"And he had the audacity to say it's because of what Edward did."
"Us moving in together have nothing to do with that prick." Jacob said looking at me.
"I know." Thankfully the waitress brought over our appetizers. That would distract him enough to get his mind off of my ex-boyfriend. Hopefully. I still know that we would most likely be getting into a fight about it later. The guys dug into the food and me and Rachel were lucky to even get a taste of it. Thankfully I wouldn't have to share my burger. Although if he wanted a bite we all knew I would give him one. The waitress brought over another round of drinks and then brought out our food.
My burger looked so good that there was no way I was letting Jake have any of it. Thankfully he also go a burger so he would be satisfied. He of course finished before I did and was asking about dessert. Him and Paul decided to go half and half on an ice cream sundae. While the waitress was clearing the table of our dinner plates, he leaned back against the back of the seat and rest his hand on my thigh. Usually I would grab his hand so he couldn't move it but I trusted him to not try anything.
I should have know.
I felt his hand moving but had no clue what he was going to. My eyes widened when his finger slipped into the ripped in my jeans and gently moved closer to my clit. Thank god they were super tight and his finger couldn't fit between my legs in the jeans. I tried to compose my face but he could see the reaction it gave me. Rachel and Paul were too busy staring at each other to realize what we were doing. I glared at him but he just smirked. I was going to murder him. When the waitress came over with the dessert, he removed his hand and gave his full attention to her.
"How long have you worked here?" He asked looking right at her. He was only doing it to piss me off and get me jealous, and it was working. I glared at the back of his head. She was clearly flirting with him and I didn't like it. She lingered at the table for far longer than she needed to. All I knew was that he was not getting laid tonight.
"I need to go to the bathroom." I said to Jake. He glanced over at me before sliding out of the booth. I glared at the waitress as I walked away from the table. I stood in front of the sink for a while before deciding to head back out. The waitress was gone and so was the dessert. He stood to let me back into the booth. I grabbed my money to pay for my half. I was not going to let him get away with flirting with someone else right in front of me.
Once the bill was paid. We all headed to the car. Paul and Jacob joked for most of the ride back to the house. When we got to the house, I pulled out my keys and headed to my car.
"You're not staying?" Jacob asked following behind me.
"Nope." I answered.
"What's wrong?"
"Are you seriously asking me that?" I asked unlocking the door.
"It's not a big deal."
"Flirting with someone else right in front of me, is a big deal." I commented getting into the truck. He stood blocking the door so I couldn't shut it on him.
"Seeing you jealous turns me on."
"Well it doesn't turn me on."
"Good luck, Jake." I heard Paul call before the front door closed.
"If you wanna go flirting with other bitches fine. Just don't do it in front of me."
"First off, she wasn't a bitch. Second-"
"Flirting with someone else's boyfriend makes you a bitch!" I cut him off. Did he seriously think that I wouldn't be jealous of that? He clearly didn't know me at all. "Enjoy your hand tonight." I commented trying to get him away from the door.
"God you're so dramatic." He rolled his eyes but moved so I could shut the door. If I had been flirting with another guy he would have murdered him. But he can do it and it makes me dramatic? I started the car and drove off.
I never wanted another girl to love him. It terrified me daily that he was going to meet someone that he imprinted on. Or that he had some type of connection with and he would leave me. He had to have known exactly what he was doing. My mind was racing the entire car ride home. They way they hit it off made it seem like he did imprint on her.
I tried not to think about it. He was just flirting with her to get me jealous. And it worked. But my mind would always drift to him imprinting. It was going to happen sooner or later. I knew it would. I would never be prepared for that moment.
Once I got home I quietly opened the door and kicked off my shoes. I headed up the stairs and peeled the jeans off. I quickly threw them into the hamper before grabbing pjs. I shut off all the lights and got into bed. My mind was racing the whole night. I hated when he did things like that. It's one thing if someone is flirting with him, he usually paid them no mind. But tonight was different and we both knew it. I didn't want to think about what was going to happen between us. I never wanted to lose him and the thought made me sick to my stomach.
I was going to lose him someday. Whether it be tomorrow or two years from now. Something was going to happen. I could feel it. I was going to lose him and I really don't think I was going to survive this time.
I was half expecting a text when I woke up the next morning, a call, something. I got nothing. I wanted to text him and say that I was sorry for running off but I shouldn't be the one saying sorry. I wasn't the one flirting with the waitress in front of his face. It seemed like something so stupid to be upset about but he knew my fears and he still did it.
I don't even know how much sleep I got last night, not much I knew that much. I was exhausted. I wasn't leaving this bed today. An asteroid could be coming right at the house and I wouldn't move. I wanted to get sucked into a hole.
And I remember this feeling. When Edward left. I knew the days before that something was going on. That something wasn't right. Things hadn't been normal. He was acting strange, being distant. This was the start of that with Jake. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach that something big was coming and I had no way of stopping it.