Only Lonely Birds
A fanfiction by Belba Sandylows
Prologue – The Loneliest Bird of All
In a very small town called Verona the people lived in perfection. It was a skill that they passed on to their children and grandchildren to preserve the paradise that had harbored their ancestors for centuries. The townspeople contributed to local charities and taught the newest members of the community to do the same. Everyone knew who was baking bread or picking up trash; there was not much of the unknown here. If someone walked passed you were expected to know his name and how many members that person had in his family—maybe even start up a conversation. The people all shared the same thought, If you don't know what it is, don't trust it. It was a brilliant sort of thinking and this was why no one had ever approached the house near the woods since the current owner had moved in.
Only naturally, curiosity sparked up amongst the young children. They chattered about it and made up stories to startle each other. Sometimes they even dared each other to go and knock on the door but they were all too frightened. The children also knew that if anyone them were caught by a parent, they would have to succumb to a great punishment. But the stories still continued and their imaginations grew.
"I heard there's a half-man, half-bird living there," whispered a little boy.
"That's silly, Theo," giggled the girl. "He can't be a bird and a human. Maybe he's just lonely."
The boy straightened and lifted his chin. "Well, I guess you just don't know what could just be true."
The girl shrugged. "Who knows?"
And no one did know. The adult members of the community did not like to talk about the house nor think about going near it. What kind of person moves into a small area like this and doesn't communicate with anyone? They believed that if a person such as him did not make the effort then they would not move to help either.
For several years the interest in the house turned on and off. Conversation only generated when maybe a light flickered in the front window and little things that suggested someone was actually living there. Even more than seven years later, still no one dared to knock.
That was until Emily Thatcher had come back one summer from her boarding school in the north. Her friends who lived in the town missed her and begged of stories from the mysterious school she'd attended for just one year. She gave them outrageous tales of great big snakes and magic. They all laughed and told her what a fabulous imagination she had. Emily would beam and they would tell her stories of their most recent year. Sometimes she would feel a little sad inside knowing she'd missed quite a few moments with her friends but it would pass as she remembered her great times at her new school.
"Any news about the house?" Emily asked her two friends, Theo and Maddie.
Theo shrugged and plucked a blade of grass, smoothing it in his fingers. "What do you think?"
They were sitting on the hill that overlooked the entire town including the house behind it. Emily's eyes flickered to each of her friends and to the house. Curiosity would always plague her about it—it always had even when she was a small child. Maddie knew what she was thinking about and rolled her eyes slightly.
"Who cares, Emily? It's just a dumb old house," she said hoping to drive the other girl's crazy thoughts from her head.
Emily sat back on the grass. "Well, aren't you the least bit curious? The same person's lived there since we were little and we don't even know who it is. Remember when we thought he could be part animal or something? Don't you want to know?"
"Of course I want to know," said Maddie. "But I'm not going to risk my life to find out. If you're so keen on it why don't you go knock?"
Emily thought for a moment. "You know, Maddie, that's a good idea."
"Who, besides Maddie, could possibly think of such a brilliant idea?" said Theo dryly.
Emily looked at him. "I think we should."
"Go ahead, I'm not," said Maddie. Theo shook his head too.
"Nah, I'm too lazy."
Emily scowled. "Fine, I'll go myself. If you don't see me tomorrow then I suppose you can just reason I am no longer among the living and breathing, all right?"
Theo grinned. "Have fun, Em."
"Yeah, good luck."
Emily stuck her tongue out and stood. She faced the hill, breathing in nervously.
Emily Thatcher was a brave sort of girl. Her interest in everything led her to do very thoughtless things when her curiosity got the better of her. As she started down the hill, she could hear her friends chuckling and mentioning loudly how she was foolish to go knock. She knew that she was venturing farther than anyone else had in her town for several years. She remembered her mother always telling her to never go near the house or she'd be in more trouble than she'd ever been before. Did the rule still apply now that she was twelve?
Emily's footsteps seemed to slow as the hill sloped down. If anyone had asked she would have admitted that she was terrified but she couldn't turn back now that she said she'd see what was there. Theo and Maddie would want to hear what she discovered.
When Emily approached the house, she noticed it was a lot smaller than she'd thought. The windows all had blinds on them so she could not see inside. The trepidation of finally seeing just what was inside made the pounding of her heart so loud that she suspected that she didn't need to knock on the door. A shaky hand rose to meet the wood but she found herself frozen and unsure what to do.
Come on, Emily, you're a Gryffindor! Be brave, she thought to herself. What could possibly be so terrible? Maybe he's a convicted murderer, a fearful part of her mind stumbled. She gulped. Only one way to find out.
Her knuckles tapped gently on the wood. No one answered. Harder, she thought. So, she knocked a little harder. And no one answered…and so she backed up a step, waited, and the door opened.
Her heart was thumping so loudly and her hands were shaking. No one had ever come to meet this man before and she finally did but now she wished she hadn't. Awful thoughts were tearing through her mind viciously.
Those ideas were suddenly squashed when the man opened the door and Emily saw that he looked perfectly normal. Some fear trickled away and her eyes relaxed a little.
"H-h-hello," said Emily.
"Er—hello," said the man awkwardly. Much to her surprise he was quite young. She had been expecting…actually, she didn't know what she was expecting…or anything real.
"I'm Emily," she introduced herself, trying to hide her anxiety. "I was wondering…" Uh oh, she hadn't thought about what she would say. She hadn't even thought anybody would answer! "Well, I was around and I thought I might…er…"
"Come and see if anyone was alive here?" he said. Emily was startled to see the humor in his eyes.
"Er—yes," said Emily.
"Would you like to come in?" he asked uneasily.
Emily glanced back at the hill—her friends were not in view. She scowled silently. "You wouldn't mind?"
"Why not?" he invited.
Emily shrugged. "All right." She followed him inside, fear subsiding like a melting ice cube. He didn't seem like a bad person and his house was not a bad place either. Why had no one realized this?
"Would you like a bit of tea?" he asked, leading her to the kitchen.
Emily's eyes brightened. "Ok."
He invited her to take a seat on one of the old kitchen chairs. She sat down gently.
"Thank you for inviting me in, Mr…"
"My name is Remus," he finished for her.
"Oh," she said. "Well—er, thank you, Remus." She paused and watched him pour the tea. "Do you live alone?" It was a dumb question, but she thought she'd ask anyway.
"Yes," he said. "But I'm thinking of teaching at a school up north. The headmaster's been asking me for quite some time and this time I'm considering. It'd be nice to be around people more often."
"Congratulations," said Emily. Remus handed her a mug of steaming tea. She thanked him. "You know, it's just me and my mum at my house, if you ever wanted to come over for dinner or something I'm sure she wouldn't mind. I mean, she's hardly ever home anyway."
He raised his brows. "Really? Careful what you say, I may just take you up on your offer."
Emily took a gulp of tea, grimacing slightly when she realized it was warmer than she'd supposed. She set it down a moment later and thought of something to say. It was still difficult to believe that she'd achieved something that no one else had before and was proud she was the first. To be first was a very important thing to her; it meant that you could tell people it wasn't so bad or tease them if it really was terrible when they have to do something.
Remus broke the momentary lapse of conversation. "Was it your friends who put you up to this?" he asked.
"What?" she said abruptly.
He smiled rather ruefully. "I gather you didn't come here just to see if anyone was alive. Am I correct?"
Emily raised her brows. She opened her mouth. "Ah—no. I wanted to know who you were and everything but my friends thought it was a foolish idea. I came anyway even though they were too afraid to."
"I see. I'm also curious why no one has ever come to say hello before. Have you any thoughts?"
Emily replied, "Er—well—no one's ever come because they don't know what to expect. See, everyone who's ever lived in Verona goes into town like on their first day. And you apparently never did and no one's ever seen you before so nobody knows what to expect. When my friends and I were little, whenever we talked about who could possibly be living here our parents would get angry because we weren't supposed to wonder. They didn't want us to come and seek you out. That led all the children to believe you were some sort of monster—a dragon or that thing that lurks beneath the bed. My friend Theo used to think the person who lived here was half-man, half-bird. Of course, I never partook in this sort of thing. But I realize it was really stupid for people to wonder so much because you're just a regular person. Townspeople can be quite thick sometimes."
"And what led you here?" asked Remus.
Emily grinned. "An overwhelming curiosity."
"Well, that'll about do it, I think," he replied. He took a sip of tea which was much more dignified than Emily's great gulps.
"Have you many friends, Remus?" she asked.
He looked at her inquisitively. "Depends on what you consider friends. I have quite a few acquaintances, if that's what you mean. I also know a lot of people."
Emily shook her head. "Actually, I was thinking of people that have you over for dinner and national holidays. Friends who come over uninvited, that sort of thing."
"I used to," he said. His eyes were sad. "But it didn't work out."
At Emily's worried look he added, "Oddly enough it had nothing to do with me."
That doesn't seem fair, Emily said. Poor guy lives alone with no friends…I probably shouldn't have brought it up! "I'm sorry, Remus. I shouldn't ask stupid questions like that."
"Nonsense; you have every reason to ask such things. I can't blame you for your curiosity. Besides, it's been long enough that I should be used to not having my friends anymore."
"How long?" asked Emily.
"Nearly twelve years. It's difficult to believe how long ago it was. Seems just like yesterday that it all slipped away," said Remus. His voice was gentle but one that clearly stated that he would rather not talk about this subject. Emily took a sip of tea.
"That dinner idea still stands as long as you want. Mum's not a very good cook; she's bloody awful with a recipe and even worse without one. But I could make something nice," said Emily. She mentally began to list several meals that were tasty and easy.
Remus smiled. "I look forward to it."
Emily nodded. She glanced at the small clock on the wall, noting its late time. She'd been sitting with her friends for a long time and now only have been here about ten minutes she realized that if her mother got home in time she'd be in a bit of a fix. Quietly explaining this to him Emily stood and set her tea-mug on the kitchen counter.
"Thank you very much for the tea, Remus. I hope you don't think that this will be the only time we meet," said Emily. "And if you ever need anything, our house is the only yellow one in town."
"I'll remember that," Remus said kindly, following her to the door to politely escort her out. "And thank you for finally finding out that I exist. I look forward to seeing you again."
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Emily returned home later than usual that night even though she'd tried to be on time. Luckily her mother was not in yet; must've gotten caught up at work. It was dark out. The clock read that it was already half-past nine o'clock. She shrugged and made herself a little supper consisting of bread and a bit of leftover stew from a couple nights ago. The kitchen was eerily silent, but peaceful.
Well, she'd done it. No more mystery about the house by the woods. She'd seen who was there and what definitely wasn't. It was not part bird, part human. Pure normal human who couldn't have been older than thirty-two years old. He was not an acrimonious person; he was affable. She wished she could have spent further time with him, drinking tea and just chatting the long and formerly tedious hours of the afternoon. Maybe he'd understand the problems with her mother or at least try to. Emily looked into the dark stew and sighed. Maybe he could be someone important like the father-figure she so badly wanted…
Nonsense, Emily, she thought. Don't be ridiculous. You talked to him for only ten minutes, how can you possibly be considering that he'd want to get close? Why do you think he lives alone? So he won't have to deal with children like you.
But he was very pleasant and he seemed to enjoy her company. It didn't seem right. If he disliked people then why did he invite her in?
Emily puzzled herself too often.
She sighed and pushed herself away from the table. The stylish kitchen chair screeched against the floor; she stumbled to the sink and quickly washed the bowl for stew. Her mother was just arriving home when Emily had crawled into bed, ready to sleep off the long day.
"Emily, dear!" called Agatha Thatcher.
"In bed," mumbled Emily.
"All right, we can talk tomorrow."
Emily snorted into her pillow. Yeah, like they'd see each other tomorrow. Agatha worked from five o'clock to nine thirty…or around that time. Maybe she could have Remus over sometime in the next week when her mother was gone for the night. Oh well, she was too tired to consider what would happen. Her eyes grew too heavy to keep open and sleep fell upon her like an anvil.
The next morning, as usual, Emily's mother was not at home when the young witch descended the stairs. Today, she remembered, Theo was busy helping his sister move to her new apartment and Maddie was supposed to be picking out drapes and furniture for her father's new house.
Instead of doing her summer homework as she should have, Emily chose to meet her new acquaintance and ask if he wanted to join her on a walk. She carefully pulled back her nearly-flat dark hair into a little ponytail. After making sure she looked all right, she strolled out the door and began her way to the house by the woods.
The mid-morning heat was perfect with the sun warming her bare shoulders and knees. Emily started to run through the tall grass because it was only a matter of time before she began thinking and her thinking only resulted in doubt and suspicion. It was not long before she reached Remus's cottage. She charged up to the door and stopped abruptly like a horse trying to halt itself quickly after a full gallop. She knocked politely against the wooden door and waited.
It was not long before Remus appeared looking very tired and a bit sickly. He smiled at her. "Hello, Emily," he greeted.
"Hi, Remus. I was wondering if you'd like to join me on a walk," invited Emily.
He smiled.
The walk they took circled the town. The skies were nearly cloudless save for the grey haze rolling in from the north. Insects buzzed in their unseen domains and the grass swayed in the gentle breeze.
Remus was a clever sort of man. He listened but a careful watcher could see him thinking quickly behind his eyes and interpreting everything a little faster than anyone else. Emily wondered if he could read her thoughts. Fearful of this, she readily thought up something that he would have to respond to if he heard. I'm a witch with typical grades in my magical school and my friend Colin was Petrified by a giant serpent. Remus's face was quite unfazed and she breathed.
The one thing that Emily admired about her new friend was his ability to refrain from talking down to her. He said what he thought she might need to know without censors and complete truthfully. Most adults treated Emily with respect but they covered their words to keep her from becoming fearful. She paused her mind for a moment and considered her mother. Agatha could have been considered the utter contrary to Remus due to her consistent underestimating of her daughter's thoughts.
It was late afternoon when Remus and Emily returned to his little house. Sprinkles of rain alerted them of the changing weather. It began to rain harder as they tried to get under cover. They ended up sopping wet and soaked to the core as they dripped a bucket's worth of water onto the floor.
Remus disappeared for a moment up the stairs before returning with two large towels. Emily gratefully accepted one and wrapped it around her shivering body. Taking advantage of being in his own home, he excused himself for a moment to change into something dry.
Alone in the small living room, Emily peered at the bookshelves. There were books that were clearly muggle possessions but as her eyes trailed along each spine and shiver traveled up her own. Hexes and Jinxes, Hogwarts: A History, and Quidditch Through The Ages. She stared wide-eyed. Remus? A-a-a wizard? Emily could hardly believe it.
To try to prove herself wrong, the young witch traveled to the fireplace and found a flower pot filled with—
"Floo Powder?" she breathed.
Remus was coming down the stairs. Emily cast a worried look over her shoulder. "You know, Remus, I really ought to be going," she said.
His face fell a little. "Is something wrong?"
"You're a wizard?" Emily's observation was not so much a question as it was almost an accusation.
Remus was remarkably calm considering her incredulous tone of voice. He opened his mouth to speak and replied, "Yes. I believe you are too?"
Emily nodded. "Did you know before now?"
"About you? Yes, I assumed so." At her skeptical look he explained. "As the only two people in a small community I could sense the magic of you when you first came to my door."
"Oh. Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I wanted to see if you could figure it out," he said. He pulled out a wand from the pockets of his robes and pointed it at her. For a split second, Emily believed he was going to rid himself of her. To her relief he only performed a drying spell and suddenly Emily felt a lot warmer.
"Thank you," she said.
Together, they sat before the new born fire and talked quietly. The rain drizzled outside, pitter-pattering against the window. Emily giggled at Remus's stories and he smiled at hers. She told him everything, forgetting about the things you should keep to yourself.
It was not the first time Emily wished she had her own father. Someone like Remus. Someone who would care for her everyday. Someone who would write her letters at school and beg her to come home and save him grief. She wished that her mother had not conceived her from a man who had disappeared only a few months after she was born. It was always going to pain her to wonder why her only father had deserted her and left his daughter to grow up in the arms of an irresponsible and unloving mother.
Emily did not tell Remus about her father. He would not want to hear; it would only make him angry. She pushed her grief aside and tried to focus just on her new friend and pretend that everything was all right if only for a little while.
Days passed by. They were hot and lazy hours that seemed to cling on forever. More and more did Emily find herself in Remus Lupin's company or off chasing her other friends in the woods. She knew they were growing close like family and she had yet to tell her mother about her new friendship with the unknown. He helped her with the homework the professors had dumped upon her at the end of the last year. He had many pointers having done most of the assignments some twenty years earlier. The older wizard never missed a chance to be with her even if he did have to help her with homework. Maybe Agatha would understand about Remus; he was more than just a friend…he was her family.
It was late when Agatha returned home that night. Emily was reading a musty old book with significantly bent corners with the pages glowing a yellowish hue. Setting down her purse upon the chubby and overstuffed red chair and shedding the dark blue denim jacket, Agatha gently sat next to her daughter and leaned in slightly.
"Yes?" Emily inquired hoping her mother did not want to have an emotional talk.
"Emily, love, I am curious what you would think of having a sister," eased Agatha.
Emily plastered on a guise of composure. Alarms were ringing in her head, screaming at her to jump ship. Abort, abort! Whatever Agatha had in mind was definitely not going to benefit either one of them. "Mum, if you want to get pregnant, then it's your puzzle to piece out. But you have to remember that I won't be able to take care of it nor will you because of your super fancy job."
Agatha sucked in through her teeth. "Well, there's a problem with that Emily."
Emily was trying to jump ship. Go, go! "Mum…a baby would not be the best decision right now."
"You see, that's the problem. It turns out…I'm with child." Agatha tried to smooth out her red plaid patterned skirt but the more she rubbed her shaky hand against the fabric the more it wrinkled.
Emily had just dived in, headfirst. She was swimming, swimming…and then a shark swallowed her whole. Her dark eyebrows fused together and her eye gave an angry twitch.
"Who?" Emily asked. Her voice shook as she tried to keep it calm and quiet. "Who, Mum?" When her mother was silent, the witch raised her voice slightly. "Who? You know, babies don't just pop! infest themselves into a woman's womb."
"I know that, Emily," Agatha said quietly. "It's time I told you the truth."
"Well, you probably should."
Agatha sighed and reached out to stroke her daughter's hair. "He's a co-worker. Lately we've been hooking up. Emily, there is nothing wrong with that. I am a single woman in my early thirties! I am allowed to go on dates."
Emily scowled. "You're not supposed to lie to me."
"Have I lied to you? Tell me. Have I lied to you?"
"You haven't told me to truth."
"No, I haven't told you anything. Look, I told Augustus about the child and he really wants to raise it," Agatha said.
Emily nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes, of course he does! Just wait for the part when he walks out on you…like someone else you thought you knew."
The air of bringing up Emily's father set a cool façade to the solemn face of Agatha. The woman's eyes lowered to slits and she stared at her daughter.
"I know how to make decisions, Emily. I will bring this child into the world whether you like it or if you don't. Augustus will be here for me and the baby. For once, I don't care what you think. Deal with it," sneered Agatha.
It was the first time Emily could not say something to her mother in return. It was the first she actually felt a pang of respect for the woman. She almost smiled to still see Agatha's chin held high in the air with the satisfaction of finally being on top. Emily knew her stomach was bubbling in anger but the sheer impression of her mother finally taking control overruled it.
Nevertheless, Emily snapped her book shut, stomped up the stairs, and slammed her door so fiercely the whole house shook. And that was it. For the moment, Agatha held the power.
