Disclaimer: refer to chapter one

NOTE TO READERS: Well, this chapter is a little shorter, but not by a big margin. I wanted to thank all of the readers that have been very vigilant about leaving a comment or review for the chapters they read. I'm very thankful. Reviews and comments are motivation for future chapters. And, don't forget a review is … after all, a fanfiction writers only payment. Thanks in advance for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this newest chapter, but unless you take the time to tell me … I will never know. Thanks!

Thanks for your patience between updates!

Chapter Twenty

Benediction

By Dawn Nyberg

"When the night is overcome may you rise to find the sun … believe and you will find your way … a promise lives within you now." Excerpt by Enya, May It Be

Two Weeks Later

"Now, John I'm sending you home with strict instructions to not do anything strenuous. And, I know you feel up to par, but I'm your cardiologist and I'm saying you're not. That means I won't even consider clearing you to return to work for at least two months."

"Don't worry Doc I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid," Dean commented as he gathered his father's things while his father took a seat in a wheelchair.

"And, here are the prescriptions he needs to get filled," Dr. Jay replied. "And, John we talked about this … these are all taken until further notice … possibly forever."

"Yeah," John grumbled.

"Here Sammy," Dean handed his brother a large plastic bag with some of their father's belongings.

Dean was content to be getting his father home. It had been a long almost three weeks since the heart attack that almost killed John. The past two weeks in CCU had felt like they went on forever. John had begun a heart rehab program at the hospital and had started taking his meds. Dean was happy that they would be home as a family for Christmas. John almost hadn't been discharged in time, but now they had two days to spare before the holiday. Of course, no one had had time to shop for gifts with John in the hospital, but this year being together as a family was enough for Dean.

"Did you get Missouri off at the airport?" John replied.

"Ah, not exactly," Dean hedged as Sam snickered in the backseat of the Impala. John cast a leery glance at his oldest child. Missouri had been a mainstay the couple weeks or so and John considered a Godsend for his children's peace of mind since his heart attack. However, Missouri over the last week had decided to give John a piece of her mind over his leaving his boys. She had given him a tongue lashing in her Missouri tell it like it is manner. He respected the woman more than he'd ever tell her, but with a mild grin he realized she had all ready plucked that thought from his mind long ago.

"What do you mean not exactly?" John's voice was serious.

"Well, she said she'd stay on until after the holidays. She wouldn't hear of leaving yet. She said we're going to need help, and I think she's right. She decided she needed her own space, so she took a room at the Best Western down the block on Olive Street."

"A hotel!" John barked. "How could you agree to let her do that? After everything she's done." Dean cast an incredulous look at his father.

"Hey! Like I can tell Missouri what to do or think when she's made up her mind about something. She said there was no way she was putting any of us out of our rooms. Look," Dean continued. "I tried to make her reconsider, but she wouldn't listen to me, so we compromised."

"Yeah? How?"

"I told her I'd pay for her room, and she agreed after a ten minute debate with her." John grumbled under his breath. "It's just till after the holiday's dad. She just wants to make sure we're okay and that you're fine."

"Dean?" Sam's voice chimed in from the backseat.

"Yeah, Sammy?" Dean cast a glance in the rearview mirror.

"Ddd…don't forget ttt…to stop for the med…icine."

"Oh yeah, thanks Sammy." Dean sighed. He had almost forgotten to get his father's scripts filled. He put on his turn signal to turn up ahead for the pharmacy.

The Winchester House

The kitchen window was open slightly and John caught the scent of food cooking and after nothing but hospital food the last couple weeks or so his mouth was watering. He looked at Dean as they climbed out of the car. Sam and Dean both carried bags of their father's. John looked at Dean. "The hotels within walking distance dad. I gave her a house key. John nodded. They slammed the car doors out on the driveway and soon Missouri came out of the open garage smiling.

"Well, well look what the cat dragged in," she quipped. John smiled.

"Hi Missouri," John offered. "Thanks for staying a little longer."

"Uh-huh," she replied. "I oughtta smack you with a spoon John Winchester!"

"What'd I do? I just got out of the hospital."

"For yellin' at that boy. He's no more a match for my set mind than you are John Winchester. Now, you stop givin' that child grief. I'm here to make sure you Winchester men don't starve over the holidays and to make sure you're all settled before I go back home."

Christmas Day, December 25, 2007

Sam padded quietly down the hall dressed in jeans and a sweater. He put on a pair of hiking boots to combat the deep snowfall. He concentrated with the laces. His fine motor skills had made some improvements with rehab. He grabbed his winter jacket and gloves and slipped out the front door locking it behind himself. He looked at his watch and knew that his brother and dad would probably be asleep until 8:00. And, Dean was picking Missouri up at 10:00 AM. She had hauled Dean out to the store yesterday to get fixings for a Christmas dinner, and she would be over to start cooking. It was a bright and cold Christmas morning and Sam smiled as he inhaled the crisp clean air. He went to the corner and caught the Number 10 bus that stopped by Cross Pointe Shopping Center where he knew the grocery store and floral center were open 7:00 AM to 11:00 AM for last minute holiday food shoppers. He had stopped and grabbed a bus routes map the other day from the library when he finished working. Dean and his father had both thought he should get back to his routine of the library and rehab even while John was still in the hospital. Sam had complained, but after his doctor ordered rest after his seizure episode he did in fact return to his routine.

Sam sat looking out the window as the bus moved through the city. There were only a couple other riders commuting along with him. When the bus pulled up at the shopping center Sam got off. He walked into the grocery store and headed for the entertainment area. He had been pulled out some money from his savings account that Dean had helped him open. He had been able to walk to the bank the previous week during his lunch break and removed some cash from his account. He looked at his watch and hurried around the store.

He bought his brother a new digitally re-mastered DVD version of his big brother's favorite Godzilla movie. Sam rolled his eyes at the black and white movie picture on the cover: Godzilla versus Mothra. Sam still preferred the remake … he didn't care if his brother said it was horrible. He had all ready bought his dad a gift the previous week while he was walking back from the bank to the library. He passed Rob's CD's and Vintage LP's store. He found that the store carried cassettes on a limited basis. He was amazed that there were even still tapes to be found. He knew they would work in his Dad's truck when he was able to return to driving in another couple weeks or so. He bought what he knew his Dad loved: Johnny Cash and Willy Nelson. Sam couldn't stand the music, but his father loved it. He hurried over to the floral section and bought a floral arrangement in a small decorator vase for Missouri. He grabbed a small card and envelope to include with the small floral arrangement for Missouri. He spotted some holiday DVD wrappers on his way out and picked one out to seal Dean's DVD up in, so that he would have something to open. He had all ready had his father's cassettes wrapped in some left over wrapping paper from the previous weeks library event where some staff wrapped gifts for donations for the library and Sam had helped himself to some left over scraps that had been trimmed off of other gifts.

He paid for his purchases and hurried back to the bus stop to wait for the Number 8 bus that went back the route he needed to get home. He stood there waiting with his purchases in hand. He had studied the route maps for a couple days and was still confused by them a little. So, he had tucked them away to take to his occupational therapy session and have his therapist help him understand them. He had finished his lessons on handling finances and money. His therapist had been excited to help him understand bus routes and time schedules as part of his therapy. Sam was pleased with himself. He looked at his watch and it was 7:45 AM and he felt a tad bit of concern that he wouldn't make it home, and he started to wonder if Dean would wake up and find out he was gone. He knew his big brother would blow a gasket. And, he didn't want to worry his father; after all he had only been home a couple days. The bus made good time across town and dropped him off at the bus stop at the end of his street at 8:10 AM.

Sam stomped his feet outside to get some of the excess snow off his hiking boots. He unlocked the front door and walked in quietly. The house was still quiet and as he turned down the hallway he could hear the shower running and knew his brother was up, but hadn't noticed he wasn't home because he had left his bedroom door closed and Dean must have assumed he was still asleep. He slid into his room quietly and took off his jacket. He took off his boots and went about hiding his purchases until it was time to reveal them. He opened his door and walked to the kitchen to try and make some coffee. His first few attempts had not gone well, but he was determined that he'd get it right. The first time he was certain he had done everything right, but when it began to brew in the Mr. Coffee machine and drip down it was nothing but coffee mixed with tons of coffee grounds. And, to his dismay he had forgotten completely that you need a coffee filter. He had made just about every possible mistake, so he was sure he could get it right and surprise his brother and father with some decaf coffee. After all, since John's heart attack that was the only coffee he was allowed, so Dean had switched too in order to make things easier and not tempt their father to hit the caffeine.

Dean walked out of the bathroom and saw that Sam's door was open. He poked his head inside, but saw that Sam wasn't inside. When he walked into the family room he could smell the scent of fresh coffee coming from the kitchen and smiled. He wasn't sure what condition he'd find the coffee in, but at least it smelled good. "Mornin' Sammy." Dean said as he walked into the kitchen.

"Morning," Sam smiled. "What some coffee?" Dean grabbed a mug and handed it to his little brother.

"Sure Sammy," he wasn't entirely sure it would be something drinkable, but he wasn't about to make his brother feel bad about his previous attempts and failures. He only hoped this one was going to be as bad tasting as the last.

"Hhh…here," Sam gave Dean his famous dimpled-lopsided grin and he was a goner. He figured even if it was awful he'd drink the whole mug if he had too. Dean looked at the dark brew and smelled.

"Smells good Sammy," he offered. The steam rolled off the top of the dark liquid. Here goes nothing, he thought to himself. He smiled as his first tentative sip went down his throat and he took a second bigger drink. "Mmm, Sammy," Dean replied. "We have a winner," he quipped.

"Rrr…really?" He eyed his brother for any sign he was lying to protect his feelings. Sam no longer drank coffee at all whether it was regular or decaf. The doctor had suggested it might not be the best thing for him while on his meds. She had gone into a long explanation about the possible acetic qualities of coffee degrading the medications or causing an upset stomach. So, Sam had stopped drinking it all together much to his chagrin.

"Good Morning boys," John walked into the kitchen in sweats and a t-shirt.

"Here dad," Dean turned quickly and pulled out a chair at the table in the kitchen. "Have a seat."

"Son, I just got out of bed," John mused. "Why would I want to sit?"

"You shouldn't strain yourself," Dean suggested. John chuckled. Both of his son's since he had come home from the hospital two days ago had been busy bodies always acting like mother hens. He thought it was endearing, but it was also a pain in his ass.

"Listen boys," John began. "I appreciate this … really I do, but your old dad isn't an invalid. I can stand in the kitchen. I'm not running a marathon. You have to both just relax, okay? And, stop hovering so much." John eyed the coffee pot. "You make coffee Sammy," John asked with a smile.

"Yes. Dean lll…likes it." John turned quizzical eyes to his oldest and Dean confirmed with a smile.

"Yeah, dad," Dean encouraged. "Try some. It's good." John hated the decaf, but if it was what the doctor had ordered then he'd suffer with decaf rather than his usual. Dean poured their father a mug and watched John take a drink.

"This is a good cup of Joe Sammy. Nice job." John reached out and patted the side of Sam's head.

"Mmm…mer…ry Christmas," Sam forced out with a smile as he looked at both his brother and father.

"Yes, it is," John replied. "Merry Christmas boys." John smiled warmly at both of his sons. "So, Dean, what time do you pick Missouri up?"

"Ten. And, she gave me strict instructions to tell both of you that we are to stay out of the kitchen once she starts cooking. She said she doesn't need us under foot." John rolled his eyes. Dean and Sam both snickered.

Later that Afternoon

Missouri had relegated John to the couch to rest while she put the boys to work on clean up. Sam stayed in the kitchen after the table was cleaned and helped Missouri rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher. Sam rinsed a pan and handed it to Missouri to put in the dishwasher. "Nice job, Sam," Missouri replied.

"Thh…thanks."

"You know it's been real nice seeing you boys again. And, your father, too," she added. "Although, that heart attack didn't make him any less pig headed." Sam smiled.

"It's bbb…been nice seeing you ttt…too," Sam replied.

"Sam," Missouri began. "Remember when I told you boys back in Lawrence to not be strangers … well, I meant it."

"Thh…thanks Miss…ouri. Sss…sorry we never came bbb…back … we…"

"I know," Missouri replied. "You and your brother have been busy since you left Lawrence. I wanted to talk to you Sam about …" her voice trailed off and Sam looked at her.

"About what?"

"I know your abilities have expanded a bit since Lawrence. I know then you were having premonition dreams and you could sense the house wasn't clean yet. You felt the presence in the house still even when I couldn't. But, now I know you're having visions."

"I ccc….can't con…troll them. They just hap…pen."

"I know. I'm sorry I'm no help Sam. But, what you're capable of is something I'm not. I can sense energies and read minds … I wish I knew more to help you."

"Not your fff…fault. I've only had one vision since my hhh…head was hhh…hurt."

"I know it saved your daddy's life, but almost cost you yours."

"Www…would hhh…have been wor…worth it." Missouri turned and looked at Sam.

"Child," her voice was soft. "You carry so much inside. I worry for you."

"I'm ggg…good." He smiled. "I hhh…have Dean and dad." Missouri nodded. She knew that Sam was troubled by many thoughts and most of them had to do with his fears that he'd never regain what he was, and the truth of that he probably would never be completely the same was beginning to take root in him. She felt his fear that he was a burden to his family and that he was a weight holding them down. She knew she couldn't confront him with those feelings unless he brought it up. But, she wanted to make sure he always knew her door and home were open to him.

"Sam," Missouri started. "I just wanted you to know that if you ever need me for any reason I'm only a phone call away, and my home is always open to you." Sam looked at her for a long moment.

"I know," he smiled at her sheepishly. They finished loading the dishwasher and she started a fresh pot of coffee. "Um, Miss…ouri?"

"Yes honey," she replied as she poured the water into the coffee pot.

"Will you ccc…come out to the fam…ily room … I www…want ttt…to do something."

"Okay," she wanted to pick his mind, but could see the buried excitement in his eyes over something and decided she wanted to find out when everyone else did.

Missouri sat in a chair opposite the couch facing John and Dean. John had turned the TV off. They all sat looking at each other. "What could he be up to?" John asked. "Missouri, you know?"

"Not a thing."

"Well, with Sammy it's hard telling." Dean quipped. Sam emerged down the hall. One arm held what everyone quickly saw were tiny wrapped presents, and in his free hand he was carrying a delicate floral arrangement. Sam handed Missouri the flowers.

"Miss…ouri these are fff…for you," he handed her the petite floral arrangement in the decorator vase. "I ppp…put a card in it fff…for you. Mer…merry Christ…mas"

"Oh, Sam honey," she stood and hugged him. Sam turned and handed his dad two tiny wrapped gifts. John looked at the wrapping job and knew Sam must have struggled with this when he had done this.

"Son? What is this? I mean… you shouldn't have," John smiled. He could see the pride Sam had in his eyes.

"Prrr…pre…sents for you." Sam answered. He turned to Dean and handed his gift. His big brother took it wide-eyed still trying to figure out the how, when and where his kid brother had been able to do this.

"Thanks Sammy," Dean managed the only verbal response he could muster at the moment.

"Wel…come," Sam answered beaming. John and Dean opened their gifts and both had smiles on their faces, but their faces also held questions.

"Sammy?" Dean began. "How did you get this stuff?"

"Store."

"Yeah, duh, Captain Obvious," Dean countered. "Who still sells cassettes?" Dean questioned.

"Place by mmm…my bank."

"And, my movie and Missouri's flowers?"

"Store."

"Yeah, I think you answered that before Sammy. But those flowers still look fresh. Where you been hiding them?"

"Bbb…bought ttt…today," Sam supplied. "Your movie and flowers sss…same ppp…place." Dean's facial expression grew perplexed and then dark.

"Wait, what do you me you bough them today. You've been here."

"Went out."

"Out? Out where."

"Cross Ppp…Pointe," Sam answered his facial expression beginning to show a tinge of worry.

"Shit!" Dean hissed as he stood up abruptly. "Cross Pointe Sam! That's clear across town. How the hell did you get there," he spat.

"Dean, calm down son," John tried to reign in his oldest before he blew a gasket. Missouri wanted to interfere, but she felt like she should keep her mouth closed. She knew where Dean's anger was coming from, and it was out of fear and concern for his brother's well-being.

"Calm down? You're joking right?" Dean turned blazing eyes to his father and then leveled them back on his little brother. "I asked you a question Sam. How did you get there?"

Sam looked down at the floor as he moved his feet back and forth nervously. He suddenly felt like a small child caught doing something bad. "The bus," his voice was a mere whisper. Dean strained to hear the answer.

"What was that?" he snapped. Sam remained looking at the floor as he stood in front of his big brother.

"The bus," he said a little more loudly.

"The bus!" Dean shouted. "Have you lost your mind? You could have ended up anywhere. Dammit Sammy," Dean growled.

"I not get lost," Sam spoke suddenly. His speech resorting to fragmentation. "I learn mmm…map and take rrr…right bbb…buses. I ask Dar…lene to explain maps in rehab. She show me."

"Sonofabitch! They've got no right showing you that shit you could have ended up anywhere," Dean ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Not end up anywhere," Sam shouted back. "I kkk…know what bbb…bus to ttt…take there and bbb…back. I ddd…do it on my own. I'm not stt…stu…pid." Dean could see how upset he had made Sam and he could hear how badly his sentences were breaking apart a sure sign he was upset.

"Sammy," Dean lowered his voice. "It's just…"

"No!" Sam barked. "You ttt…think I ccc…can't do on my own. I ddd…did it! I ggg…got there on my own. I ppp…paid with mmm…my own mmm…money from my acc…account. I ddd…do on my own!"

"Sammy," Dean began tentatively.

"No! Bbb…bite mmm…me," he spat cutting his brothers words off. Sam stormed down the hall and slammed his door. Dean stared down the hall and then let out a frustrated sign and sat down on the couch running a hand over his face.

"Well, that went well." John offered candidly.

"I should go talk to him," Dean started to stand.

"Dean Winchester," Missouri's voice was chiding. "Sit your back side down… now." Her tone was level; however, it brooked no argument.

"But…" Dean attempted.

"But nothing," Missouri countered. "Now, you're going to sit and listen to me before you manage to push that brother of yours any further away." John knew enough to stay quiet. Missouri Mosley had proved over the years to be a very good sounding board, and source of good advice even though it came under her heavy handed tough love.

"Dean, child," Missouri began. "And, you too John," she admonished just to make sure the senior Winchester in the family didn't think he was off the hook. "Look, I know you both worry about the boy, I do. But, Dean he's an adult no matter how you slice it." She saw Dean begin to interrupt. "Not a word from you until I'm done," she ordered. "That boy is twenty-four years old, and yes he has some difficulties, but he isn't a child and you shouldn't make him feel like one. You chided him like he was six and had snuck out of the house and walked to the park alone. You can't do that." Missouri took a breath and looked at both Winchester men.

"I know that you both worry because of the potential seizures, but you can't keep him on a leash just to make sure he's safe. That boy in there is like a handful of sand Dean," she replied. "And, the tighter you try to hang on to him the faster he's gonna slip right through your fingers. And, that goes for you too John," Missouri interjected. "You're not as bad as Dean is, but you're damn close."

"He could die," Dean blurted suddenly to break Missouri's tirade. "If he has another grand mal like the last one … do you get that he could die? He would have died the last time if no one was there. You don't get it!" Missouri could feel the love and desperation that rolled off Dean for his little brother. Her eyes were soft as she looked at the young man seated in front of her.

"Dean, I do understand," she replied. "I know you're scared for him, but you can't stop him from having a life. Sam can't survive in a bell jar, honey. He's cut from a different cloth than you and your daddy. You know I'm right," she spoke softly. "And, you need to know that whatever presumed control you think you have over his life and decisions that you only have as much power as he has given you. He is an adult."

"It's different for him now," Dean interrupted. "And you know it. Sam doesn't understand certain things anymore and he needs to learn them again even if he can. Life is different for him now Missouri … he's different. And, I don't mean that in a negative way, but it's the way it is."

"Are you prepared to have him deemed mentally incompetent Dean? Are you ready to say he's not able to make his own life and medical decisions?"

"No! Of course not!" Dean answered sharply.

"Well, then," Missouri began. "You better loosen those apron strings before that boy suffocates under the tightness. And, you may not like it, but that boy can make his own decisions and sometimes they may be ones that get you worried, but you're gonna have to let him make his own mistakes and learn from them. So, unless you're prepared to take your brother's choices and his independence away by going to court then you better get used to him doing things on his own when he wants to."

"You make it sound so simple Missouri, but it isn't like that for him. Yeah, he can make decisions about some things, but not everything Missouri. Hell, he has trouble with a calculator. He goes to occupational therapy to learn things he either can't remember he knew or that he lost all together. He still has trouble holding a ballpoint pen. And, with his seizure disorder I can't take the chance in him being unsupervised."

"He's right Missouri," John spoke up finally. He had been biting his tongue long enough. "Missouri I can't thank you enough for helping me and the boys since my heart attack, but with all due respect … your nose is poking where it doesn't belong."

"Well, someone better before you run that boy off all together."

"Run off!" Dean barked. "Where's he gonna go? He had to have the bus map explained to him. He isn't allowed to drive. He can't go anywhere."

"Dean, you and your father both know that you shouldn't underestimate that child. What are you gonna do if you get up one day and he's gone, huh? Sam isn't stupid and if he wants to go … he'll go."

"He won't. He ran off once before and no matter how pissed he gets he won't put us through that again," Dean replied.

"Missouri this is my family and they are my son's," John added.

"Yeah, they are John Winchester and we've seen how much you've done right by them haven't we?" her voice sarcastic. "You leave your youngest in a coma with a horrible head injury and drop all that woe on your firstborn. Yeah, John they're your son's and you don't deserve them."

"Hold on one damn minute," Dean growled. "You got no right passing judgment on my father. Whatever has happened that's between us not you." And, just as the argument was about to step up a notch a quiet voice brought all of their attentions up. Sam stood in the room with his hands fidgeting with each other as he faced the combative trio in front of him.

"I www…want to sss…say sss…some…thing," Sam's eyes surveyed each person individually and landed back at his brother.

"Sure Sammy," Dean spoke. Sam lifted a hand indicating to Dean to shut up, so he silenced himself.

"I www…won't apol…ogize for leaving and taking the bbb…bus. I wouldn't have gone if I ddd…didn't know hhh…how to get there. I'm not a kid. I knn…know I have sss…sei…zures, but I ccc…can't worry about that every ddd…day. I shh…should be able ttt…to say I'm going somewhere and jjj…just be able to ggg…go. I'm nnn…not fff…five any…more. I ddd…don't need a baby…sss…sitter. You and ddd…dad make me fff…feel like you ddd…don't ttt…trust me to ttt…take care of myself. I'm twen…twenty-fff…four." Sam fell silent and looked at the three sets of eyes staring at him. Dean stood up, but kept his distance from Sam allowing his little brother some room.

"Sammy," Dean began. "Dad and I trust you."

"Your brother's right," John added as he stayed seated.

"It's just Sam … your situation is different. You could have another big seizure. It could kill you if you're alone."

"Ppp…people lll…live with sss…sei…zures everyday and they hhh…have lives," Sam supplied.

"Yeah, they do Sammy, but you're different. If you have another grand mal and no one is around to call for help … you could die … and that is unacceptable to me. What if you had had a seizure on the bus, huh? We could have lost you." Sam shook his head.

"No," he spoke softly. "You and ddd…dad try to keep me sss…safe and sss…say you want me sss…supervised, bbb…but I could hhh…have a sss…sei…zure in the middle of the night and you wouldn't know until mmm…morn…ing. It ddd…doesn't matter where I am."

"Out of the mouth of babes," Missouri spoke up. Dean and John looked at her. "He's right. He could just as easily have a seizure in the middle of the night and you wouldn't know until it was probably long over and too late. You can't protect him from this," Missouri supplied. "The boy couldn't be more right."

Dean sat there dumbfounded for a long moment. He shared a concerned look with his father. Sam was right they both thought privately. Suddenly, Dean felt his stomach clench at the thought of waking one morning only to discover Sammy had had a seizure in the middle of the night and died. The mental picture assaulted Dean's senses and he flinched slightly.

"Sam," John began. He was unsure of his voice at that moment his mind like Dean's was reeling. How could that notion never crossed his mind before, John chided himself in his head. "I guess you're right. I just never wanted to think that something would happen to you here and your brother and I not know about it, but you're right. Sammy your brother and I don't want you to feel like we think you're a kid or that we don't trust you. Please, it's just that we worry…"

"I knn…know," Sam conceded. "Bbb…but I nnn…need to be able to try thh…things on my own when I want ttt…to." John nodded.

"You did good today Sammy," John spoke suddenly. "I mean… you were able to use the maps to get on the right buses and then you made coffee this morning. I'm sorry if we've made you feel belittled or hurt you." Sam looked at his father and saw the sincerity in the man's eyes. "It's just we worry that if something were to happen…"

"I ttt…took my ID and hhh…had my cell phone. I wore mmm…my med…ical brace…let. And, I ttt…took my meds. If sss…some…thing hap…pened then some…one would call. It's mmm…my life." Sam replied.

"Yes, it is," John conceded.

"Fine, Sammy," Dean began with a long sigh. "You want some more freedom … we'll work something out, okay?" Sam nodded.

Missouri looked on at the Winchester family. "Well, that's some progress."

Later the Next Day

Sam had gone to the library to work for the day. The Christmas holiday had fallen on a Tuesday, so there wasn't a long holiday weekend. Dean had gone into work for a half day. He had returned on a limited basis just to make some extra money. Missouri had come over around 9:00 to start making meals to freeze that would get the Winchester men through at least three weeks. She wanted to make sure they were eating well for a while until their lives were back into full swing. John sat in the kitchen reading the paper as she cooked. They exchanged banter most of the morning, and there seemed to be no hard feelings from the previous day's exchange of words.

John went to the family room and picked up the cordless phone to call a number he knew by heart. Something had been bothering him since yesterday and he knew he needed to find a solution. He suspected it was bothering Dean, as well. After all, both Dean and John had run into each other late last night as he started to sneak into Sam's room just as Dean was sneaking out. They both looked at each other knowing full well why they were there. Sam's statement about a nighttime seizure had scared both John and Dean more than they had led on.

"Ivy Ridge Rehab Center, how may I direct your call?"

"Yes, is Dr. Myers in today?"

"Yes, she is. Whom should I say is calling?"

"John Winchester."

"Hold on while I transfer your call."

"Thank you."

John call landed with Dr. Myers administrative assistant, Becky. "She's on the other line Mr. Winchester. She should be done anytime now. Do you want to hold?"

"Yes, thanks Becky."

"Oh, you're welcome."

John hung on the line a couple minutes and then heard Dr. Myers familiar voice. "Hello, Mr. Winchester. It's good to hear your voice. How are you feeling? Sam told me you'd be home in time for the holidays."

"Yes, it's good to be home with my boys."

"What can I do for you?"

"I'm hoping you have a solution to something that has Dean and I both worried."

"Okay, tell me."

"Is there something we can use … a monitoring device or something for Sam at night. We've started to worry that if he were to have another grand mal seizure at night while we were sleeping… I just worry that he could stop breathing again and we'd never know."

Dr. Myers spoke with John for awhile and finally offered up a solution. "Sometimes when families are sent home with a baby that was premature or had breathing problems they are sent home with an oxygen monitor that warns when either the baby's oxygen levels are too low or has stopped breathing. I could prescribe something like that for Sam. It's the same set-up as the hospital. He'd simply sleep with a clip on his finger, and should he seize and stop breathing the alarm would sound to indicate that he wasn't breathing."

"And, the monitoring equipment?"

"It's a medium size unit. The main unit would stay in Sam's room, but it comes with one satellite unit that's about the size of a portable baby monitor. The alarm would sound and alert you that there was a situation. I can call into a Jefferson City Medical Supply and prescribe one for Sam. They'll explain the simple set-up and you can carry it out of there. I'll make arrangements through Sam's social worker here at the center. The state will pay for the equipment purchase since the seizure disorder is a life-long potential problem and Sam is considered special needs in the eyes of the state. His social worker Lena will handle the paperwork. I'll have a medical rush put on the papers. It may take a week for the paperwork to go through, but the supply store will allow you to get the equipment today."

John finished with the phone call feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. He called Dean's cell phone. "Dad?" Dean's voice held a hint of panic. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. I spoke with Dr. Myers."

"Why? Something wrong with Sammy?"

"No, I spoke to her about a solution for our nighttime dilemma."

"And?"

John went on to explain what she had prescribed. He gave Dean the information he'd need to pick up the equipment and told him where the supply was located. "Sammy's not gonna like this," Dean supplied as they ended their conversation.

"Maybe not, but once he's sees it's better than being dead he'll give in. And, anyway he'll know it's to give us peace of mind. He'll be okay Dean."

"Yeah, I guess … no other way really."

New Year's Day, January 1, 2008

Dean was on his way back from the airport having dropped of Missouri for her flight back to Kansas. She had brought in the new year with them all and had told to never hesitate calling her or coming for a visit. The airport wasn't too crowded and Missouri had insisted he drop her off and not park. Sam had stayed home with John. The roads weren't too busy at 9:30 AM. Dean figured half of the city was probably sleeping off hangovers from New Year's Eve parties. He smiled to himself and shook his head … boy, had his life changed in the past year. There was a time he would have been one of those fellow hung over people, but that wasn't his life now. It hadn't been that long ago, but somehow it seemed like an eternity. His father was scheduled to begin his heart rehab in another week, and Sam was back to his regular routine.

Sam had been annoyed a few days ago when they had told him about the oxygen monitor, but much to Dean and John's relief he hadn't put up as big a fight as they had prepared to endure. Dean's mind wandered back to a memory two days after they started using it. He and his father both wanted monitor duty, so they agreed to trade off and share. Dean remembered he had the first week.

Sam slept like a log on his new seizure medication. He did all right during the day on it, but oddly enough at night when he took his final dose for the day it knocked him out. Dean was fast asleep when a loud beep intruded into his dreamland date with a Playboy pinup. He grumbled into his pillow trying to ignore the noise that seemed determined to ruin his good time, and then with a sudden gripping panic he shot up into a sitting position in his bed. His eyes taking one quick moment to see the red light flashing on the monitor and hear its incessant beep as his mind filled with one thought, one purpose, get to Sammy. John's sleep had been shattered by the unexpected alarm sound as well. It had been more muted through his closed door, but as Dean threw open his door the sound filled the hallway. John bolted from his bed. His heart hammering in his chest out of fear. Both men shared horrified looks as they burst into Sam's room.

Sam remained sleeping soundly as Dean ran to him. John reached out and stopped Dean from grabbing his brother. "No, Dean look…" John said as he pointed to a clearly non-seizing Sam. "He's not having a seizure."

"Dad, the alarm…" Dean barked.

"Easy, son," John answered as he bent down and picked up the pulse-ox monitor clip that had worked its way off. "Sam must have knocked it off in his sleep." John gently grasped Sam's hand and clipped it back in place. And, to Dean's relief he saw the oxygen levels that weren't showing a moment ago glow into life with a 98. Both Dean and John relaxed noticeably and they left much more quietly than they had entered and Sam was never the wiser.

"Man, that new medicine really knocks him on his ass at night," Dean commented. Both men had sat up in the kitchen for an hour talking about anything since both were too wired to sleep immediately after the Sam scare. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"That kinda shook me up," Dean's voice shaky at the admitted fear. John let out a sigh and patted his son's arm.

"Me too son. Me too," John replied.

Dean pulled into the driveway and into the garage. It still seemed strange that everything he had wanted for the longest time had fell into place. He had his family with him, but there had been a huge price that all of them had paid in one way or the other. He walked into the kitchen and found his dad reading the paper, and Sam was digging in the freezer for his whole wheat frozen waffles. Man, who ever heard of a whole wheat waffle, Dean mused in his own head. I have a health food freak little brother.

"Everything go okay at the airport?" John asked putting his paper down.

"Yeah," Dean answered pouring himself a cup of coffee. Sam was still digging. The freezer was fuller than usual since Missouri had pre-cooked almost three weeks worth of main dishes and had frozen them. "So, Mr. Organic," Dean quipped in Sam's direction. "Looking for those whole wheat pieces of crap you like to eat?"

"Not crap," Sam mumbled from the freezer.

"What ever you say," Dean volleyed back and took a seat at the kitchen table across from his father. He grabbed a discarded piece of the newspaper and started to read.

"Fff…found them," Sam's voice was excited. Dean just rolled his eyes. John lowered his paper slightly and watched his boys. Dean had his nose in the paper just like his old man and Sam was confidently working the toaster oven to toast his waffles. The new year had come in relatively quiet with a good meal ala Missouri and they had watched the tried and true New Year's tradition on the TV and had watched the ball drop in New York City's Times Square. He felt lucky to be alive and to have his boys, and silently John Winchester prayed that their lives would have a quiet year. However, something in his gut whispered a different answer, and he pushed it away … for now.

To Be Continued

Well, this chapter wasn't quite as long as the last, but still a little chunky. I hope you enjoyed it, but without your comments and reviews I have no idea how I'm doing.

And, to everyone that takes the time to review a chapter they have read … I appreciate it.

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