Peppers and Resolutions
The shock was still there. It was a long lasting burn like a habanero pepper, it was a shock at first and then it continued to burn. The burn reached down inside you and burned everything, numbing your mind, heart and soul in the process.
Colleen had finally dragged herself out of bed. There was no way that she was going to school today but her body was use to getting up early. She wondered into the kitchen in some ratty sweats and a tee shirt. Her face was splotchy from her late night crying. She saw Mark stirring in his sleep. She walked over to the kitchen and looked through the carnets for some coffee grounds that she could use. After finding some remnants of coffee she started to make some coffee for her dad, herself, and Mark. A couple minuets later Mark finally woke up.
"Hi," Mark said softly, "I have to go get a few things but I will be back later. Okay?"
"Okay." Colleen nodded and then slowly walked over to the couch, slumped down and closed her eyes. A few minuets later she heard Mark leave. With her eyes still closed she began to think of what happened over the last day.
Every think had been going fine. She was tired but that's all. It's common to be tired when you are teaching three classes a day and then learning a new dance almost week. No one had expected this could happen so soon. I knew that she had had a very close encounter with death about a year before I was born but she seemed to be doing fine, everyone said so. I guess her body just couldn't handle it anymore. She gave out. It wasn't her souls time to go but it might have been her body's time. I don't know how I'm going to get through this but I will. No matter what I WILL get through this and live life as much as I can. I will do my best in the play and I will help dad manage the house. Dad, shit. Great, fuck. He is going to have an awful time. Not that I mind but I'm going to have to help him through this as well as deal with it myself. This is going to be a long…how long?
Colleen jerked her head up as if she had just had a light bulb go off in her head. This is going to be a long…FOREVER.
With that Colleen stood up quickly and walked quickly into her room and locked the door.
Mark had stayed the night to make sure that everything went okay but he had to run out for some errands early in the morning. The only sounds he had heard last night was Colleen's sobs and Roger's fazes of rage. Mark had not wanted to leave Colleen there but he had to pick up some more film for himself and work. As Mark walked briskly down the street he began to go through everything in his head. He knew that everyone, including himself, had a lot ahead of them.
I was able to help Roger through withdrawals. But that was his life…no love then. Even though it did not breath, hear, or care he loved it. Now I have to help him through this withdrawal. This time is going to be a lot harder though. This time Mimi was his drug. It kept him alive, it made him want to be alive. That is before Colleen was born then he had two things to keep him going. But this time he will have to learn to live without his love. The one that could breath, hear, and care, but not just care, love back. Roger was going to have to live without Mimi, his love, his soul mate, and his life.
These thoughts ran through his mind as he walked down the street. He was able to help Roger before but he wasn't so sure he could help him as much this time. But Mark made a resolution with himself, if he couldn't help Roger get through this as well as before we would make sure that he helped Colleen in everyway he could. Mark shook his head trying to clear it and continued to finish his errands.
Roger sat in his room starring at the mess he had made last night, and holding a shoebox. In one of his many rages he had torn the room to pieces. Everything in the room reminded him of Mimi. The pictures on the dresser and her clothes, but besides the more obvious things he had kept a box of random things that had to do with Mimi and his relationship. Mimi didn't know but on the night when she had asked him to light her candle he had kept it. Since Mimi had thrown it on the floor he had meant to throw it away after she left but he had kept it. Next to the candle was a small box that looked like it had contained food at one point and it had. Mimi had given him a box of meatless balls as a gag gift after the night at the Life Café. As he continued to look through the box he began to drift into deep thought.
Mimi…oh Mimi why did you have to leave me? I can't live without you; I'll die without out you. I won't be able to make it. I need you. You are my life. I don't think I can deal with myself. I wasn't able to…I should have told you more that I love you, I should have told you that I loved it when your candle burnt my skin, I should have told you so much more but it's to late.
Roger had a quick succession of flashbacks.
Mimi waltzing into his loft asking him to take her out, and him kicking her out for bringing back the slowly dying thought of drugs. Everyone at the Life Café dancing on the tables and Mimi and him talking in the cold night air as the snow fell on their heads. Joanne and Maureen finding Mimi in the park, and Mimi coming back from death after his song. Mimi telling him that she was pregnant and Colleen being born, and then Colleen being diagnosed with HIV.
Roger violently shook his head.
NO! Stop! Don't think all day. There are other things to dive into! Making ends meet, paying the rent. Helping Colleen…Colleen. I sure wasn't much of a father was I? Well that's going to change! I will be the best father that I can be. I will help her get through this. I'm sure this is tearing her apart, her mom dying, seeing me like this. I'm sure Mark had wanted to get my tears on film with this perfect photo opportunity. Wait why am I thinking like that? Mark helped me through my other withdrawal he will be able to help me through this. He doesn't want to see me sad, he is going to help and be caring, that's his personality. He always needs to help someone. Now he has Colleen and I to help and I won't be as bad as last time. I will take his advice and help with Colleen. I need to be more of a dad, hear that Mimi? I'm going to be more of a father. I have been too much of a friend. I will act like a dad and help Colleen through this—not expect her to help me.After looking through a few more things in his box he left memory lane and walked out of his room to go check on Colleen.
So that was the 6th chapter...what did you think? I thought it was pretty good insite into their minds. But it's not what I think it's what the readers and critics think. Please review I would REALY like to know what you thought. Oh and for those who want to know, the Jonathan kid will be comming back shortly (he has a pretty big roll in this Fanfic). Can you ever guess how I got his name? haha Okay soI know its sad right now but this is adrama filledstory! Okay so thats all for now.
Till Next Time...♥