Tony was bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored. It was Friday afternoon and he was sitting in a car watching Ziva sit on a park bench and read a book. He should have thought of bringing a book. A book! Wow! He was bored. No, not a book; a tasteful magazine with 'interesting articles'.
He heaved a great sigh and turned his head towards McGee again. As had been the case over the past two hours, McGee was staring distractedly out the window in Ziva's general direction but his focus was not on her, it seemed a million miles away. Every now and again his lips would move like he was rehearsing something but his eyes never left the horizon.
"Plans for tonight, Probie", Tony tried again. Showing an interest in McGee's social life was a measure of just how desperate Tony was for conversation.
"Hmm?" McGee's eyes remained unmoved.
Tony leant over casually and hit him on the back of the head eliciting a rather stronger reaction than he had anticipated.
"Hey!" McGee looked straight at him for the first time since he'd stopped the engine. Why hadn't he thought of the head whack before now?
"What is wrong with you, Probie?" Tony demanded.
McGee floundered for something to say, "Ah, nothing I was just thinking…"
"You've been 'just thinking' for two hours, Probie. How can you possibly have enough thoughts to fill two hours?"
McGee looked down, embarrassed, "I've just got a lot on my mind right now," he said quietly.
"Like what?" Tony probed.
"Drop it Tony", McGee warned meeting his eyes.
"Oh come on, McGee", Tony begged, "I am so BORED! Give me something to work with here, buddy. Give me an equation to solve. Anything…" he added a few exaggerated sobs for good measure.
McGee regarded him steadily for a moment and Tony tried out a puppy dog face. McGee frowned at him and turned away.
"No", Tony gasped urgently, "Don't leave me here alone….help me.."
McGee turned back again and gave him another long, calculating stare. He made up his mind.
"If I was to ask you a question, do you think you could give me a yes or no answer without interrogating me?" he started.
Tony guffawed loudly, "No."
McGee turned away again and Tony grabbed his arm.
"I'm sorry", he whimpered, "ask me, ask me anything."
McGee turned back again, "And you won't quiz me or ask me anything about why I'm asking you this question?"
"Yeah, whatever, anything", Tony's eyes had a dangerous crazed look.
McGee took a deep breath, "Hypothetically", he paused uncertainly and looked at Tony who urged him with a couple of nods, "Hypothetically, if I were to get married in the next year or so, do you think you would consider being my best man?"
Tony stared at McGee in disbelief. There was a stunned silence than stretched out a full minute while Tony considered the best method of overturning the conditions of the question. McGee was still watching him intently.
"What?"
"I mean, theoretically," McGee began over, "you're the guy I spend the most time with at the moment so it seems only logical that…"
"Who is she?"
"Tony!"
"No, no , no, no," Tony admonished him, "you don't just go a dump a question like that on someone and then not tell them anything."
"Tony, you promised."
"Well, I'm unpromising, who is she?"
"You haven't answered my question", McGee reminded him.
"What question?" Tony thought back hard, "Oh that! Oh, yeah, of course. Anything for you buddy." He slapped McGee on the shoulder hoping he could get on his good side. "And if I ever get married, I want you right there at the front door of the church: handing out the order of ceremony."
McGee snorted gently. He hadn't expected anything less, or more of Tony.
"So who is she?" Tony persisted.
"Not telling you", said McGee smugly.
"Why not?" Tony challenged, "Got a 'good personality' has she?"
McGee raised an eyebrow at him, "No", he denied, "I think you'd find her very attractive."
"Ah!" said Tony victoriously, "So you think I'm a threat."
McGee laughed spontaneously, causing Tony to frown at him, "No I don't think you're a threat, Tony."
"Well, why won't you tell me?" Tony pouted.
"Because I haven't asked her yet and she might say no". McGee shut his mouth tightly. He hadn't meant that bit to come out.
Tony was grinning wildly. "Ahhh", he concluded, "and tonight is the night".
McGee looked away guiltily.
"How long have you had the booking", Tony probed, an amused tone in his voice.
"Two months", McGee admitted sheepishly, a small smile playing on his lips.
"And how many times have you cancelled and re-booked?"
McGee looked up sharply in surprise then gave a shy, guilty smile, "twice" he said finally.
"Wooo, it is serious", Tony teased. "So where are you going?"
"Nowhere you'd go, Tony."
"That was a given, Probie", said Tony flatly, "I don't propose to women in internet cafes."
"No, it's somewhere special to her", McGee explained quietly.
"Good move, Probie", Tony congratulated him; "your personality is already begin sucked away." Then he considered, "Not that that's a bad thing, of course."
McGee glared at him.
"What time are you picking her up?" Tony began again.
"We're meeting there; she has to work a little late tonight."
"So do I know her?"
"No questions, Tony", McGee reminded him.
"So I've met her somewhere!" Tony concluded. The surprised look on McGee's face told him he had hit the mark. Sometimes his powers of interrogation surprised even him.
"Not at work", Tony thought out loud, "I could pick that a mile away…Navy, she's in the Navy" he looked across at McGee to judge how hot or cold he was: very hot by the look of it. "Hmmm, a computer geek in the Navy, that shouldn't be too hard to pin down".
"J-J-J-Just stop, Tony", McGee seemed to be panicking; he had the stammer, tripled eye-blink and the lip licking things going almost simultaneously.
"Relax", Tony soothed him, "Just one little name and I'll be off your back"
"What if she says 'no' and then you meet her one day", McGee challenged.
Tony grinned at the prospect, causing McGee to utter an exasperated sigh.
"I'll tell you her name tomorrow, if she says yes, OK?" McGee finally relented.
"OK", Tony agreed.
"There he is now," said McGee opening the car door.
"He?" said Tony in surprise, "I didn't know you swung that way, Probie. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
McGee froze with the door half open and turned just his head to glare at Tony, "Blake", he said sternly, "Ziva's contact."
"Oh", Tony's head snapped back to Ziva who was by now talking to said man, "Let's go Probie, what are you waiting for?"
The two agents strolled casually across the road keeping Ziva and her contact in distant sight. They quickened their pace when Ziva rounded the corner of a greenhouse which evolved into an all out sprint at the sound of a gunshot. Tony went to the left around the greenhouse as McGee sprinted off to the right.
In moments Tony was by Ziva's side. She was sitting on the ground, cursing in some guttural language and digging a tourniquet out of her purse. Blood was running freely from a bullet wound in her leg.
"You OK", asked Tony, gun still in his hand, his eyes scanning the trees.
"Yes", she growled, "he took me by surprise" she bandaged up her own leg and flipped out her cell phone to call 911.
"Did you suck the bullet out yourself?" Tony asked.
She regarded him levelly, "Don't be ridiculous, that would contaminant forensic evidence".
Toy hovered around her for a moment, "you don't really need me here for anything, do you?"
"No", said Ziva holding the phone to her ear. She lowered the phone as two shots rang out, "Go, Tony" she urged.
Tony grinned, "Two shots, McGee", he muttered admiringly, "Not bad".
Tony rounded the corner of the greenhouse and was surprised to see only a prone body. There was no McGee hanging over it with gun trained. Then there was the horrifying realization that McGee was the body and he ran forward.
Tony grabbed McGee's shoulder and turned him to his side, carefully. There was a dark crimson stain across half his shirt. Tony closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed hard. Tentatively, he felt for a pulse. He let out a relieved sigh: it was there. It was weak, but it was there. The breathing was shallow, but then he'd probably just lost a lung, it was the best he could hope for.
Tony started stripping off his jacket but a strange bulge in McGee's jacket pocket caught his eye. He drew it out slowly and was not at all surprised at what he found. It was a small ring box. He held it up to the light. There was a bullet hole right through the center. He pocketed the box and went about trying to stem the flow of blood.
"Should have told me her name, Probie", he chastised McGee as he heard an ambulance pull up.
As they carted McGee away, Tony suddenly ran after them, "Hold up", he called. He drew up to McGee and frantically searched for his cell phone.
"Her name, Probie", he said in frustration as he extracted the phone. "Why wouldn't you give me her name?"
"Might have something to do with being unconscious", the ambulance guy suggested sarcastically as he hoisted the trolley into the back of the ambulance.
Tony shot him a withering look as they rolled McGee into the back of the ambulance to join Ziva who was sitting up looking particularly pissed off.