Tony peered out the door of the small ante-room at the church surveying the well groomed masses congregating in the main hall of the church. He recognised only a handful of people. He smiled when he saw Ziva frisking everyone at the door. As most were military people, they didn't seem to mind too much. Anyone who left was either a terrorists or from the bride's side; either way, he didn't need to see them.

Abby was dressed in mourning: full black complete with hat and veil. Arriving in her hearse was a nice touch but it did confuse others who arrived at the church and thought they had the wrong place.

"I don't think I can go through with this, Tony", McGee whined pitifully from behind him.

Tony looked around to see McGee, grey and sweating, peridoically hyperventilating into a brown paper bag.

"You'll be fine", Tony assured him striding over and taking the seat next to him.

McGee did not look convinced. Tony gave him an encouraging smile and patted him on the back. McGee went back to breathing into his bag.

"She'll be here in about 10 minutes, and then you can get this all under your belt."

McGee whimpered in fear and Tony swore he actually turned another 10 shades of pale lighter. Tony smiled, the last time McGee looked like this; he had been staring at a body in a barrel of acid.

A knock at the door made them both look up and Tony rose to answer it. Opening the door a crack, he caught a shock of red lipstick behind a black veil. It was Abby.

"How's he doing?" she whispered.

"As expected", Tony replied.

"That bad huh?" Abby smiled a little, "Just let him know that the bride has arrived a little early and is going round the block to give everyone time to get into the church.

"Thanks, Abbs", Tony shut the door quietly.

He turned to McGee who had abandoned his security bag and was staring at him intently. "She's not coming, is she?" he panicked.

"She's here already", said Tony in an attempt to assured him.

"Arhhhh!" McGee grabbed the bag again and starting breathing hard.

Tony rolled his eyes and headed back over, "She's going round the block to give people time to get in," he explained ripping the bag from his hand. "Meanwhile, we had better get you organised, you look like crap. You really don't want that face on your wedding photos".

McGee looked up at Tony almost tearfully "What if I pass out at the alter?" he fretted as Tony led him to a small bathroom.

Tony studied McGee's ice-pale features and thought that was a distinct possibility, "That's not going to happen" he said with a conviction that he really didn't feel.

Breathing raggedly, McGee grasped the bowl in the bathroom with both hands and let his head drop. There were pins and needles running the length of his entire body and shimmery silver spots floating before his eyes. Suddenly, his supporting arms gave out and he plummeted lifelessly to the ground with a soft groan. Tony's reflexes were quick enough to deflect him so that he didn't crack his head on the basin on the way down but not quick enough to prevent a bone -jarring landing on the hard tiles of the bathroom floor.

"Dammit", Tony swore.

He knelt down and rolled McGee onto his side.

"Common Buddy", he tapped his face, "It's your big day."

McGee roused a little and his eyes opened blearily. Some colour started returning to his lips and he actually looked better than he'd looked all day.

"What happened?" he rasped.

"You flaked out on your wedding day", Tony informed him.

McGee closed his eyes and groaned, "I'm never going to get through this, am I?"

"Sure you are, that's my job," Tony assured him, "Common let's get you up".

"I think you're supposed to lie still for about 15 minutes.." McGee began reciting.

"We haven't got 15 minutes, Probie", said Tony urgently hoisting him up under his arms.

McGee rested his hands on the basin again. He actually felt a lot better than before. If he had known how much better he would feel, he would have passed out hours ago. It's not as if it hadn't been an option.

"You do realise that if you fail to show, tradition dictates that your BEST MAN has to marry her", Tony pointed out.

McGee looked up at Tony's grinning reflection in the mirror, stunned. Then a small smile flitted across his lips. Tony always knew just what to say. He took a deep breath and straightened.

"Let's do this", he said determinedly.

Tony slapped him on the back and opened up the small toiletries bag he had packed for the occasion. "Right, teeth, hair.." he commanded.

McGee had wondered why his bride-to-be was so insistent on having both a professional photographer and a professional video recorder. Now it was obvious. He was standing outside the church overcome by an overwhelming sense of relief and he had no memory of what had just happened. There was a throng of people milling around congratulating him. Anne was by his side and she looked like he felt. He was sure there was a name for it: wedding amnesia? They were now husband and wife but their bond was more that of strangers who had just endured some horrific tragedy.

Tony had been an unmitigated success as a best man. There was no way he could have gone through this with anyone else. He didn't quite know how to thank him but he'd find away.

The after wedding conveyor belt seemed to be on over-drive. Gibbs was shaking his hand, now Ducky. Tony gave him the two handed shake encompassing his hands. Ziva grasped both his arms for support and popped up on her toes to congratulate him but Tony suddenly grabbed her around the waist and lifted her up to the required height. She gave McGee a chaste kiss on the lips and then smiled playfully at Tony as he dropped her down again.

Then there was Abby, resplendent in full mourning attire. They stared silently at each other for a moment and he could see her eyes moisten again. He smiled gently at her and was totally unprepared when she grabbed him forcefully and attempted to suction out his tonsils before Tony, Ziva and Gibbs managed to tear her away. He stood wide eyed and panting with his new wife staring daggers at Abby.

The crowd was thinning out and heading for the reception. He took his new wife's hand and whispered, "Let's make a break for it", in her ear.

She smiled, nodded and led him quickly to the awaiting car.

McGee looked casually out the window as they drove away. Abby still looked inconsolable. Just as well she had Gibbs and Tony…hold on, he did a double take, Tony was standing behind Ziva with his arms wrapped around her waist. He craned his neck to confirm what he saw but the car drove out of range.

Abby sniffed as the car disappeared from view. She knew this hiccup in life would smooth over soon. Sadly she headed for her hearse and was startled to find a tall man with gel spiked hair, covered in tattoos, chains and safety pins checking it out.

"This yours?" he asked.

"Yeah"

"Cool"

She moved around the car to size him up, "Hmm, Punk: very retro", she said admiringly.

"Give me a lift to the reception?"

"Sure."

She unlocked the door, "So what do you do for a living Mr Punk man?"

"I have a PhD in theoretical mathematics", he started.

She paused and looked up at him, "So what, you're unemployed then."

"Pretty much", he admitted.

"Cool", she said, "let's go"