Disclaimer: I don't own jack. Also, the character that rapes her was based off of another rapist from the movie Smooth Talk.
Warning: This story is rated M for a reason.
Summary: Jude is raped, and soon buries herself within a grave of lies. How far will she let herself fall? And, who will pick her up again? T/J pairing. (Sorry, I know, I'm awful with summaries.)
Note: This story takes place in season 2, after episode 20 - Personality Crisis. Jude does not get back together with Spiederman.
Chapter one.
Her car busted again and walking to G-Major, lost in thought. Tommy her bitter producer, Spied her ex-boyfriend, Darius her demanding boss. Everything seemed to be falling apart, the walls that surrounded her now crumbling, collasping. The ceiling cracking and breaking, everything crashing down over her head. She was buried beneath this rubble and there was only darkness, and silence. Jude cut through the allies to make it there faster. If she'd known she'd be walking, she would have left earlier. Her cellphone rang, a text from Kwest, he wanted to know why was she so late. Changing the ring to silent and shoving her phone inside her pocket, Jude went on, focusing on how to breathe when she so badly didn't want to. Maybe she and Spiederman weren't meant to be some couple in love, maybe they were better off. But, he made her laugh, and she still wanted to keep that. In their friendship, if possible. If there was a friendship. She just couldn't think of any reasons to smile all by herself. So, she didn't. And, the frown felt ever-lasting on her lips. Her mind was everywhere else but the alley she was walking down. She didn't even see that she was being followed.
"Jude," a voice shouted from behind her.
Startled, Jude stopped and turned to see who had called her name. There was man standing before her, a strange smile on his face, big sunglasses hiding his eyes. But, the sky was full of gray clouds today. Something felt off. He wore jeans, and a black t-shirt. His hair was sloppy and brown. She noted the obvious strength in his build. The muscles in his arms, and neck. She'd never seen such big hands before. Blinking once, twice, she waited. Why had he called her? When could she leave?
"Hi, Jude," he said, his voice so smooth. "I'm a big fan of yours."
"Oh," she nodded, licking her lips, trying to control the tumbling fear inside her stomach. "Thanks."
"No," he shook his head, taking a step closer to Jude and removing his sunglasses. "Thank you."
He tucked an ear-piece to the sunglasses in his back pocket. His eyes were blue, like tropical water, like the sky on a clear day, like Tommy. She shook her head. She didn't want to think of Tommy. She didn't want to see him in this man. This strange man with the odd smirk on his lips. Like he knew something she didn't know. It was eerie, and wrong. Nervous butterflies racing throughout her chest, wings brushing against her heart, brushing against her white-bone ribs. The creatures finding their way through her shoulders, down her arms, to her hands. Making them tremble.
"I've been dreamin' of this day," he said, taking another step toward her while Jude took another step back. "When I would finally get to meet Jude Harrison in person. You're so beautiful. All the pictures in the world couldn't do you justice. I've just been dreamin' of this day."
Jude nodded, taking another step back, and another step back. If she could just run away. If she could just run, and run away. She kept nodding, there was nothing she could say. There were no words for a moment like this. And, he just kept moving closer.
"You smell so sweet," he said. "Even from here. Like violets. Sweeter then I ever imagined. I bet your hair feels so smooth, like strands of silk between my fingertips. And, your skin. I bet you have the softest skin."
His eyes were gleaming. He was already feeling her hair, her skin. Somewhere inside of his mind, it was already happening. Somewhere inside of his mind, the distance had already been closed between them. He was doing all of these things. The smirk remaining. It was the innocence that made it hurt her so much worse. The expression on his face so sweet. Like a little boy dreaming. But, he wasn't a little boy. He was a man. And, she was a little girl. Those weren't normal dreams.
"I'm your lover, Jude," he said so suddenly.
She stopped walking, stopped breathing. This wasn't happening. This couldn't honestly be happening. It wasn't possible. He couldn't be saying that. He couldn't seriously being saying that. She was just a little girl. She was just a baby.
"I'm your lover," he repeated. "And, you don't know what that is yet, but you will. Now, I know you're scared. That's okay, everyone's a little scared the first time."
"Please," the word bursting from Jude lips with a sob. She shook her head, another step back. "Please."
"I'm the most gentle lover, Jude," he tried to reassure. "I'll touch you so delicate, like you deserve to be touched. Like an angel. And, when I'm fillin' that secret place inside you-"
"Please!" Jude shook head, barely able to see through the tears in her eyes. She felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. "Stop, please!"
"Oh, Jude, don't cry," he said, rushing quickly toward her.
She was too weak to run. Her whole body so tired, like being chased inside a dream. It's too hard to move. His arms suddenly around her, cradeling her, trying to comfort. She shook violently in the fear, trying to shake herself away from him, the nightmare. He let her turn around inside his arms, her back pressed against his chest. She was sobbing too hard, feeling as though the bones inside her body were breaking. Everything within her collasping. His arms around her, and his hands on her wrists, he lead her to the brick-wall. She was too weak to fight.
"Hush now," he whispered. "You'll be just fine."
He turned her gently to face him, holding both of her wrists in one hand and pinning them above her head. He smiled sadly, brushing her cheeks with his thumb, but the tears kept falling. Quickly taking off his pants, he took his time removing Jude's. Un-buttoning and un-zipping so carefully, watching her face all the while. He slid her jeans down from around her waste. He placed his free hand on her hip, sliding it up beneath the fabric of her shirt, running it of over her trembling stomach. Sliding it back down again, he moved to her waist, and down the outside of her thigh, taking her panties with it. Jude shut her eyes and with the cold against her bare skin, felt some part of reality awaken inside her. She began to struggle. Fighting against him, he leaned in close, pinning her whole body with his.
"No," she couldn't open her eyes. "No, no, no. No. No."
"Shhh," he pressed his lips against her ear. "Don't fight me, Jude. I don't want to hurt you. Don't make me hurt you. Please. Don't make me hurt you."
He was pleading. It wasn't a threat, it was a fact. He could murder her. He was insane enough. He might not care about the repercussions. So easily, his hands could wrap around her throat and snap her neck. Just like that. She stopped fighting. Let him press his body closser, feeling his hips against the inside of her thighs. She couldn't focus on the things being done. She felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. At her ankles. And, the way he moved, and gasped. His body rocking inside her. The skin tearing, the wrong, his eyes. She couldn't focus. There was nothing to hold. Her hands in tight fists, the nails digging into her palms. He was raping her. He was raping her. He was raping her. And, there was nothing she could do. And, it just kept happening, and happening. His breathing, and the way he touched her. The whole world was silent. Sounding heavy and thick, falling on her ears. Nothing real.
And, when he was done, he stayed inside her, trembling, for a very long time. Eventually pulling away. Fixing his jeans and then Jude's. Pulling them up from around her ankles, zipping and buttoning. Jude kept her eyes closed, her hands over her head as they had been. She couldn't move. She waited, silent. She waited.
"Thank you," he said. "I look forward to when we'll meet again."
And, she listening to his footsteps growing fainter and fainter. Slowly slumping back, sliding down against the wall, her legs curled close against her. Jude buried her face into the darkness between her knees and felt herself breathing softly. Everything distant, untouchable. She felt her phone vibrating in her pocket.