Long time no see. Sorry about that. Here's the 5th chapter. Lots and lots of love to empyrealfantasy who corrected my poor English. ;-)

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Chapter 5 : One more step

The afternoon was sunny. They had stopped in a quiet place to eat and rest. Since their last battle a few hours back, they all were thoughtful about their new ennemy and his motives.

Sanzo blew the smoke out of his lungs in a long stream. He sat on a rock while looking at the scene in front of him; Hakkai was once again teaching Goku his techniques. They were speaking from time to time, throwing balls of energy at random. But Goku's blasts had some especially weird trajectories, making Gojyo sweatdrop and grumble every time one was flirting with his red hair, accusing the monkey to aim his head on purpose.

Sanzo - /but I have to admit that his technique has improved... even Hakkai's.../

Hakkai – Well, I think it's enough for today! We should rest now.

Goku (destroying the ball he was ready to launch) – What? I'm not tired!

Hakkai – Goku, be reasonable. There's no need to do it till exhaustion.

Goku seemed to want to say something but finally nodded.

Goku – I think you're right

Gojyo (lying on the grass, looking up, taunting) – Yeah, it's better to stop and limit the damage for today, you are a real public menace, saru.

Goku (vein throbbing) – What are you saying erokappa?

Hakkai (smiling) – Maa maa! No need to fight! (speaking to Goku) But if you want, I can show you the other technique.

Goku (calm and serious) – Ok!

They moved away from the other two, sat and started to talk quietly, concentrating.

Hakkai – If you want to be able to heal, you have to concentrate very hard in order to canalize your energy at it's maximum. This method isn't so different from the balls of energy in fact. (staring at him seriously) I'm sure you can do it, but I have to warn you. It's a dangerous technique. I mean, if you're injured, you mustn't use it. This method uses your vital energy, so if you're weaker, it can really be dangerous. Do you understand?

Goku – Yes, I got it.

Hakkai stared at him in silence a few seconds and then they continued. After only a matter of minutes, a green light could be emanating from Goku's hands.

When it happened, Hakkai, Gojyo and Sanzo could only open their eyes wide of surprise. Goku who had been concentrated until then looked up to meet Sanzo's eyes. They gazed at each other intensely. Sanzo didn't look away. He was surprised to see such a serious expression on the saru's face, as if he was trying to tell him something. Sanzo suddenly understood.

/ Because I want... I want to be able to protect you... /

If he wanted to learn this technique from Hakkai it was only... to protect him?

Sanzo clenched his teeth and glared at the young man, who didn't seem in the least impressed.
Goku finally looked away. Hakkai and Gojyo who had looked at the scene nonchalantly exchanged a meaningful glance.

Gojyo – Goku, do you have some energy left?

Goku – Huh? Yes, why?

Gojyo – Perfect! So I can take my revenge from the other day!

They moved away for more room and then started to spar and squabble.

Hakkai approached the monk and sat down next to him. Sanzo lit another cigarette. He didn't say anything for a moment, the two of them looking at Gojyo and Goku's spar games.

Hakkai – What do you think of it?

Sanzo – Of what?

Hakkai – Goku made a lot of progress recently. In any case, he seems motivated to make some. Do you know why he does that?

Sanzo - ... No.

Hakkai smiled. But his smile faded quickly.

Hakkai – I just hope he won't do anything that would be dangerous for him by exceeding his limits.

Sanzo glanced at Hakkai. He suspected the young man to know more than he was saying. Sanzo couldn't help but think about his words. Goku wanted to improve his technique to be able to... protect him... and apparently this baka would be able to endanger himself one day because of him... /as if I hadn't already told him that I don't need his damn protection. What language do I have to tell him in? 'ch'/

Sanzo felt Hakkai staring at him.

Sanzo – Now what?

Hakkai – What's going on with Goku?

Sanzo seemed a little bit surprised but it didn't last. He frowned, irritated, slightly looking away.

Sanzo – What... what do you mean?

Hakkai (smiling slightly) – you know Sanzo, you can't fool me, nor Gojyo as you may have noticed... If you want to talk about it, you know where I am.

Sanzo didn't look at him and stayed quiet…but his silence sounded like a yes to Hakkai's ears. The healer just smiled.

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At the end of the afternoon they stopped in an apparently calm little town, deciding quickly to stay for the night to recover from their hard day.

Goku and Gojyo left to buy food while Sanzo and Hakkai stayed at the inn. They were looking for shops still open at this late hour.

Goku – Most of them are already closed now.

Gojyo – We should hurry or the great Sanzo sama won't be happy to not have his precious cigarettes.

Goku stayed quiet and looked away slightly as if he was embarrassed at the mention of the priest.

Gojyo – Did I say something wrong?

Goku (smiling) – No, not at all, it's okay.

Gojyo stopped. Surprised, Goku did the same thing, looking up at him.

Goku – Gojyo?

Gojyo (serious) – you know, I'm not blind. I know something's bothering you. And if you tell me it doesn't concern the monk as I think it does, I swear I'll shave my head.

Goku should have laughed at that, but instead, he just stared at Gojyo, as if he was trying to determine the older man's believability. Gojyo understood.

Gojyo (sighing) – Goku... you can trust me on this...

Goku (looking away) – It's not that but... I don't think you could understand.

Gojyo laughed quietly – If you only knew... I think I can understand... so what's going on?

Goku – Well...

What could he say?

Gojyo – You love him, don't you?

Goku (very nervous) – What? No! I mean... I...

Gojyo was still looking at him. He put an arm on his shoulder.

Gojyo – Goku, you can tell me. I won't laugh at you, I swear.

Goku stayed silent a few seconds.

Goku - ... Yes, I love him.

Gojyo – And you told him?

Goku – Not exactly, but...

Goku blushed. Gojyo looked at him, waiting for the next part.

Gojyo – But... something happened?

Goku nodded and added with a small voice, blushing even more.

Goku – We... kissed.

Gojyo's eyes open wide. He smiled a little.

/well, this monk isn't as prude as I thought after all.../

Gojyo – And did you...?

Goku (blushing a deeper shade, embarrassed) – No!

Gojyo only smiled and ruffled the young man's hair.

Gojyo – And what did he say?

Goku – Well... nothing. /but then why did he kiss me?.../

Gojyo put his arm around Goku's neck and started walking again.

Gojyo – I think you shouldn't worry about that. Give him some time. (looking at him) We all know how shy is our pretty monk, right?

Goku slightly smiled. Even if Sanzo hadn't given him an answer yet, he would do all he can to obtain it.

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The diner was rather quiet at the inn. They were practically alone to eat in the restaurant. Sanzo and Goku were face to face at the table and glancing at each other when they thought that the other wasn't looking. Sometimes their eyes would meet, then they would just stare at each other a few seconds before looking away when the heat in their cheeks threatened to be seen.

Goku and Goku were arguing as usual, but perhaps with less conviction than they were used to. Maybe this was due to the infamous fan's lack of appearance. In fact, Sanzo seemed strangely calm and pensive. Hakkai was looking with interest at all the subtle differences with curiosity.

Finally, at the end of the diner, Sanzo stood up and went to the bar to pay the meal. Goku followed him with his eyes before talking to Hakkai and Gojyo.

Goku – What are we going to do now?

Hakkai – Well, I think we should go to bed, we have a long way to go tomorrow.

Hakuryu 'kyuued' to agree with his master. Sanzo came back and only a few minutes after, they all were in their individual room.

Sanzo, once alone in his room, leaned back against the door and let himself slip on the floor, sighing. The day had really been trying for them all, between the trap, the road, and above all Goku. He had a monstrous headache. After a few minutes he got up and went to the bathroom. He undressed and entered the shower at a slow pace, still lost in his thoughts as he was. He turned on the hot water, letting it slide down his smooth skin and the steam cloud his senses. Putting his hands on the wall, he leaned against it, his eyes looking down at the ground. He was confused when he was thinking of the young man. Day after day, he could feel he had less and less the willpower to reject him, even if his brain was telling him this was the best thing to do.

He looked up and closed his eyes, the water falling directly on his face. He couldn't avoid the saru forever. But what could he tell him? He knew what he wanted to tell him, what had been so long for him to admit. But even if he admitted it… this wasn't the right thing to do. They couldn't be together, could they?

In fact, he didn't know what to do anymore. Should he let Goku break his walls, exposing himself and becoming vulnerable? He opened his eyes. His fear was that the young man would endanger himself for him as his master had so long ago.

/It won't happen once again, I won't allow it/

He clenched his fists. He turned off the water and exited the shower, dried himself and dressed halfway, leaving himself shirtless. He headed for his bed and lay down heavily; he was tired but couldn't sleep. His thoughts wouldn't let him have a moment's peace.

And the memory of the young man's lips on his own didn't want to leave him.

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Gojyo entered Hakkai's room and closed the door.

Hakkai – So what did you want to tell me?

Gojyo (smiling, amused) – I just wanted to announce you that you won our first bet.

Hakkai (smiling, but a little surprised) – How do you know? You talked with Goku ?

Gojyo – Yes, apparently you were right. But Sanzo is not very chatty about his feelings.

Hakkai (smiling) – I think it's just a matter of time.

Gojyo – I just hope he won't hurt the monkey.

Hakkai – If I were you, I wouldn't worry. Sanzo may be bad-tempered and have trouble showing what he's feeling but... (amused) I don't think he can hurt him. Goku really is a good influence on him.

Gojyo looked at Hakkai.

Gojyo – Like you... you have a good influence on meHakkai looked up. They gazed at each other for a moment, trying to guess what the other was thinking.

Hakkai – But you on the other hand are a very bad influence on me

Gojo (vein throbbing on his head) – Oï what do you mean by that?

Hakkai only smiled enigmatically before he changed the subject.

Hakkai – So, does our second bet still stand?

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Goku had also taken a shower and was now lying on his bed in T-shirt and boxers. But he couldn't sleep; the events of the day getting mixed up in his head. Finally, after some tossing and turning he got up reluctantly, seeing he would not be sleeping any time soon. He took the large pillow from the bed in his arms as he left the room. Once in the corridor he hesitated. He walked to Sanzo's door and hesitated once more. He knocked. A few seconds later, the answer came.

Sanzo – Nan da?

Goku – It's me, can I come in?

Silence. Then, Sanzo opened the door, glaring at him. He really seemed irritated.

Sanzo – What do you want?

Goku froze, blushing a little in front of the half naked man. Of course it wasn't the first time that he was seeing him like that, but it was the first since the last 'events', which changed a lot of things. He glanced at Sanzo warily, considering if it was wise to continue. Despite his apparent anger though, he didn't seem that irritated - more exhausted than angry.

Goku – I can't sleep.

Sanzo stared at him, silent.

Sanzo – And?

Goku – Can we talk?

Sanzo glared at him once more, but this time Goku had seen a flicker of apprehension in his eyes. After a few tense seconds, Sanzo entered the dark room without a word. Goku followed him and closed the door behind them.

They were only a few meters apart. Goku was standing in the middle of the room whilst Sanzo was leaning on the table. They stayed like that for a moment, not speaking, which irritated Sanzo. Just being alone with Goku was making him nervous, even if no one could ever tell that was the case. He lit a cigarette to calm his nerves and glanced at the young man who hadn't moved, still hugging a huge pillow. His eyes were pensive but also determined, which was disturbing for the monk.

Of course, recently he was getting used to see this kind of look in his charge's eyes, but he couldn't help but feel powerless in front of this change. He feared losing him, but this simple fact was hard to admit after so many years. He had always thought he was alone and that all he wanted was to stay that way... since his master's death.

However, Goku seemed to hesitate now. That was his last chance to escape.

Sanzo – If you have nothing to say, get out. Don't come and bother me for nothing.

Goku looked up and stared at him intensely. He spoke with a calm voice, which was unusual for him. It made Sanzo imperceptibly shiver.

Goku – You know perfectly well what I want to say. Or rather what I came to ask you (murmuring) why…

Sanzo looked away and breathed the smoke out of his lungs.

Sanzo – Your stupid questions annoy me. I'm telling you, if you have nothing to say, get out.

He really sounded irritated, but Goku knew the man well enough to see that the anger was only a mask. He looked at him more closely.

/this feeling... it's fear… he's scared/

Goku breathed. Sanzo wanted him to leave just because he was scared? Who was he kidding ?

Goku – I stay, I want to know. I won't leave until you answer me.

Sanzo tensed. Goku noticed it but didn't say anything.

Goku – Why?

Sanzo stayed silent, smoking his cigarette. Goku could see that despite his calm mask, the man was thinking hard. Suddenly he spoke with a very low voice.

Sanzo – I don't have any answer for you.

Goku quietly laughed.

Goku – I don't believe it.

Sanzo – Believe what you want and leave me in peace, or I kill you for good.

He stood up and turned towards the window, crushed his cigarette in the astray on the sill before folding his arms.

Goku observed him, looking at his graceful body and the soft blond hair in the moonlight. The young man put his pillow on the ground and approached slowly the man, without a sound. This one must have felt him approach but he didn't react. Goku feeling encouraged, moved behind the monk and wrapped his arms around his waist, his cheek leaning on the bare shoulder. Goku's T-shirt was softly rubbing against Sanzo's naked skin while his arms were slightly caressing his thin and soft stomach. He shivered at the close contact with the man. He felt Sanzo tense (and maybe shiver a little, but the young man wasn't sure about that) but it didn't dissuade him him. His arms tightened a little bit their grip on the man, snuggling closer, as if he feared to see him escape.

Sanzo (irritated) – What do you think you're doing? Let me go!

Goku wondered briefly if he shouldn't obey but seeing that the monk wasn't moving, he persisted.

Goku – Not before you answer me

Sanzo – Baka !

Goku turned his head, his lips brushing against Sanzo's neck. He whispered.

Goku – I just want to know… what I am to you.

Sanzo was silent. Goku continued, still whispering.

Goku – I don't know what you're afraid of, but I can promise you nothing will ever happen to you, I'll aways protect you because… You're important to me… I could die for you...

Sanzo roughly freed himself from his hold and turned to face the young man, clearly very angry. Surprised, Goku didn't move.

Sanzo – Die ? That's what you want ? DIE? You think that's what I want?

Goku – I…

Sanzo – You still don't get it, do you ? I don't need your fucking protection! I don't need a millstone round my neck! So get off my back, ok?

He stopped, trying to catch his breath. A few seconds later, he was murmuring.

Sanzo – Now get out, I've had enough of you.

Goku didn't move, only staring at the other man, calmly.

Goku - What do you fear?

Sanzo – I said get OUT !

Goku – I won't, I want you to answer me.

Sanzo glared at him, but Goku could see that he was shaking. The room was now completely quiet. They were still standing near the window and their faces at only a few centimeters of each other. Sanzo didn't remember how they had gotten that close together.

Sanzo murmured with an angry but slightly shaky voice.

Sanzo – Why are you doing this ?

Goku – Why did you kiss me ?

Sanzo froze. He didn't answer. Their eyes were now locked on each other.

Goku – What are you afraid of?

Sanzo clenched his fists.

Goku – Does it have anything to do with your master ?

Sanzo was shaking. Goku lowered his voice.

Goku – Sanzo… I won't disappear. I don't want to die, nor do I want to see you die in front of my eyes without fighting. So yes, I'll protect you, whether you like it or not.

They stared at each other intensely for a moment. Sanzo had regained his composure. He wasn't shaking, nor was he angry anymore. He approached the young man, their faces now dangerously close.

Sanzo – Do as you want, but you better not die, or I'll go in hell to kill you myself.

Goku slightly smiled, looking at him and speaking softly.

Goku – We have a deal.

Sanzo – 'Ch, baka!

Goku's smile broadened but he remained serious.

Goku – Sanzo… Why did…

Sanzo (cutting him) – Shut up, enough stupid questions for tonight.

Goku opened his mouth to protest. Even if he had received some answers, most of them unsaid but eloquent, on the reasons of Sanzo's behaviour towards him, he still didn't know the most important answer of all.

Sanzo didn't let him continue. The blond had taken his face in his hands and his lips were now on his own. The kiss was soft and gentle, still slightly hesitant despite their previous meetings. Goku closed his eyes, appreciating the moment, savouring the soft skin and feeling the blond hair tickle his face.

It ended too soon from Goku's point of view. He opened his eyes and gazed at the man, meeting two violet eyes shining in the shadow and reflecting gold. Sanzo's voice was low and strangely soft.

Sanzo – I did what I wanted to do.

Goku's eyes widened and he flushed quickly. It wasn't a real declaration, but it was the best he would obtain from the monk for the moment.

Suddenly, Goku seemed to hesitate, looking down.

Goku – Sanzo...

Sanzo – What now ?

Goku looked up. Their faces were still very close.

Goku – Can I stay here tonight ?

TBC

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Yeah, I know, I'm cruel.

But the next two chapters will come soon... if I'm motivated. ;-) LOL

In fact, I'll translate two chapters in one. But I still have so many pages to translate. Why did I write such a long fic? (sob). The next chapter will be somehow the end of the first part of this fic. After, more characters will appear.

Reviews?