Thank you to those who are still reading I work alot so I unfortunately do not get to write as often as I would like but I am hoping to have more time in the new year as I a starting a new job with less hours.

I lifted the window open and searched the darkness for the source of the pebbles hitting my window. Adam was stood on the edge of the surrounding trees hiding in the darkness.

"Adam what the hell are you doing?" I whispered over to him.

"You haven't spoken to me since the dinner last week" He explained stepping out into the dim light of the moon "I wanted to make sure you're ok" He added.

"I'm fine" I sighed rolling my eyes.

"Don't do that" Adam growled into the night.

"Do what?" I asked beginning to feel frustrated.

"Shut me out Jay" He pleaded.

"What do you want me to say Adam?" I snapped "You gate crashed my dinner with Gavin and did nothing but make comments all evening".

"Jay I just wanted you to understand how ridiculous this is"

"No Adam your behaviour was ridiculous"

"Jay come down here please so we can talk properly" Adam suggested. I exhaled deeply and turned to look back at Gavin sleeping peacefully in bed, my aunt and uncle had gone away for the weekend, so Gavin had come round and cooked me a romantic dinner. I hadn't told Adam anything about Gavin coming over because I knew he would disapprove; I wasn't even sure he knew Katrina and John were away. If he knew that me and Gavin had spent almost every day together since he took me out for dinner he would hit the roof I was sure of it.

"I can't" I shook my head "We'll speak soon" I whispered at him as I heard Gavin begin to stir.

"Jay…"Adam began but before he could finish I pulled the window shut and started my way back to bed.

"Who was that?" Gavin asked sleepily as I got back under the covers.

"No one…" I told him "I thought I heard something but it must have been the wind" I lied turning away from him and falling back to sleep.

I sat up bleary eyes and stretched my arms way above my head, letting out a little groan as I did. I reached my phone and found a text waiting from Adam.

I'm sorry for the way I behaved last week at dinner. I should learn to trust your judgement but please understand where I am coming from. When I met you a while back you were broken and you have done so well piecing yourself back together I can't just stand by and watch you be torn apart again. I'm here when you're ready.

"So, what are we doing today babe?" Gavin asked as he exited the bathroom drying his hair with a towel wrapped round his waist. I shifted off the bed and began brushing my hair.

"Not sure" I shrugged as I absent mindedly stared out the window.

"Why don't we have a day in?" He smiled coming up behind me and wrapping his arms round my waist "Katrina and John aren't back until the morning I can leave early" He suggested kissing my neck. I leant into his kiss and closed my eyes, pretending for a moment that I didn't have a knot in my stomach telling me to abandon ship.

"Sounds great" I replied. I picked up my phone again suddenly remembering the text Adam had sent. It was silent between us for a moment "Actually…I was thinking of maybe popping to see Adam this morning" I said matter of factly "We could still have a nice afternoon" I added. I turned to face Gavin and immediately wish I hadn't.

"When we agreed to give things another go I thought you'd forget all about him" He stated, his face had gone dark and angry.

"Gavin…" I pleaded "He's my friend and…"

"Jayme!" He snapped his face darker than ever, those beautiful brown eyes I had always loved were almost black "I'm your friend".

"Yes of course…" I stammered, shocked. Suddenly his face softened and he walked round the room toward me, embracing me in a strong hug.

"I love you Jay"

"I love you to" I replied.

"Then please stay away from him Jay" he smiled as he brushed hair behind my ear and planted a firm kiss on my lips "I'm only thinking of you when I ask this" his eyes were big and wide, almost pleading "I don't trust him" he put his forehead to mine "After the way he behaved at dinner I just don't think he's good for you" he sighed "for us" he added with a hand either side of my face.

"He thought he was protecting me" I explained.

"From your husband?" he scoffed "Anyway it's my job to protect you so you won't need him anymore" he added before leaving the room and shouting back asking what I wanted for breakfast.

"Ermm…Just some toast please" I responded. We spent the rest of the day in a romantic peaceful bubble watching films, eating junk food and just enjoying each other's company. These were the moments I loved; these were the moments I lived for when we were just us, nothing and no one else around to interfere. The more time we spent like this the happier I became and the easier it became to forget any small outbursts or any flashes of the Gavin who cheated on and controlled me for so long. That had always been the problem, he knew exactly how to get in my head and make me forget all the bad. He made me feel special and as if I was the only woman in the world. After hours of being curled up on the sofa in pure bliss we went upstairs and made love for the first time in what felt like an eternity. We lay intertwined in dead silence; I was just enjoying the moment of pretending the last month had never happened.

"Move home" Gavin whispered kissing my neck.

"I like it here" I replied rolling over to face him.

"Baby please" he pleaded "We could start a family" he beamed. My stomach churned with anxiety at the thought of starting a family, especially right now with Gavin, it was all too much.

"Gavin this is too much" I told him sitting up "I love you so much and I have loved you since I was 16 and over the past 10 years, I gave you everything I have to give" I explained getting out of bed "When I found you in bed with…" I continued.

"Oh for gods sake Jay" Gavin threw his hands in the air in exasperation and rolled his eyes "If you want this to work then we need to stop going over it"

"But Gavin we haven't even spoken about it" I told him determined to stand my ground. If this was going to work between us I needed to get everything out, I knew that.

"I told you it was a silly mistake" He growled pulling on some shorts and pulling a shirt over his head before leaving the room.

"I think the least I deserve is for you to talk to me and answer my questions" my resolve was faltering but I needed answers. I dressed quickly and followed him out of the room, down the stairs and out the front door and into the pouring rain.

"What do you want me to say?" He snarled "That she's more beautiful than you, that she was more fun or that she was a better shag?" The words cut me deep I couldn't bare to hear them "Because she was all of those things" He seethed.

"Please don't say those things" I begged still chasing him "I love you" I whimpered finally catching him and making a grab for his arm.

"Why do you keep bringing this up?"

"I won't again" I sniffed "I promise"

"You're so ungrateful" His voiced oozed venom "I flew thousands of miles for you because I love you but that's not good enough for you is it? Nothing I do will ever be good enough" Tears ran down my cheeks as he spoke "Maybe I should just go home" he suggested.

"I am grateful" I told him "I never thought you would do something like this for me" I explained.

"Well I did" He snapped before once again turning his back on me, getting in his car and leaving. After a moment of standing silently on the doorstep I turned and went back into the house. She was a better shag? I kept replaying those words over and over in my head, Gavin was the only man I had ever been with, he was the only man I ever wanted to be with and to hear those words from him cut me like a knife. As if on cue my phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Jay, are you ok?" A concerned Adam said.

"Fine, why?" I answered grabbing some tissue to wipe my eyes.

"Come over" He demanded.

"I can't" I told him "I'm just about to cook dinner for me and Gavin" I lied.

"You're lying Jay" He said matter-of-factly "I just see him driving away"

"He's just gone to get some wine"

"Stop lying to me Jay" He growled angrily.

"Please don't" I begged as I tried with everything, I had to force the tears away.

"Either you come here or I come to you" He commanded.

"I'm not dressed" I protested "I have my pyjamas on"

"Stop making excuses and get dressed" He sighed in exasperation "I'll pick you up in 10" He added before putting the phone down, sighing in defeat I began getting dressed, slipping on some shoes and making my way to the door.

"You're relentless" I uttered as I climbed into the passenger seat.

"Yes" He agreed with a nod "Now are you going to tell me what's happened?" He asked. I let out a weak laugh and shook my head in disbelief, he wasn't about to let up.

"It's fine" I told him sternly hoping that he would take the hint.

"Ok Jay…" He said letting out a deep sigh and pulling the truck in to his driveway "let's go out" He suggested obviously realising he wasn't going to get an explanation from me "Let's go for a walk or grab a drink somewhere"

"Walk" I huffed realising I wasn't going to win this argument.

"Great, have you eaten?" He asked as Adam pulled the truck back out of the driveway. I half smiled at the fact he cared about something so insignificant.

"No" I answered.

"Ok…That settles it, food it is" He smiled.

"So, are you going to tell me what's got you so upset?" Adam asked taking a large bite of his burger. We had decided on a small quiet restaurant down a small side street that Adam said he had been two a couple of times, there was only one other table in, an older couple talking quietly amongst themselves, I couldn't help but notice how in love they looked and feel a pang of jealousy. I began to think that maybe I just wasn't destined for that kind of love.

"Look…Adam it was nothing" I tried to convince him "I'm fine…really" I put on my best fake smile.

"There are certain times you can't play that card" His face was stern and I knew I had to give him something more than I already was or he wasn't going to let this one go "This is one of those times" He added.

"I just got emotional about everything" I shrugged playing with my chicken.

"I'm not buying it"

"Well buy it" I huffed leaning back in my chair watching the elderly couple now leaving hand in hand my heart ached as I wished more than anything I had that with Gavin.

"No" We locked eyes both determined not to back down but I knew I wouldn't win.

"WE HAD AN ARGUMENT, OK?" I snapped throwing my hands in the air "Happy now?"

"About?" He gestured for me to elaborate completely ignoring my sudden outburst.

"What does it matter Adam? It happened and now he's gone ok" I wiped my eyes with my hand as I began to cry for what felt like the 1000th time that day "Can we please just drop it" I begged taking a deep breath.

"Ok" Adam nodded as he reached over and gave my hand a squeeze "Now finish up I want to show you where to get the best donuts in the world" He smiled at me. I finished up quickly, we paid and left heading towards the donut place Adam wanted to show me. The November night was cold, ice cold, I wrapped my jacket tight around me wishing I had worn something warmer than just a vest top and jeans. Without saying a word Adam swiftly took his jumper from over his head and handed it to me.

"You don't need to do that" I told him trying to hand it back.

"Shut up" He laughed pushing it back towards me. I smiled as I pulled it on over my head, the sleeves swamped my arms and covered my hands. I took in a deep breath of Adams scent, the familiar feeling of safety overwhelmed me as the scent hit me.

"Thanks" I muttered. We walked a little further in silence periodically I took in a breath of the scent attached to the jumper to remind myself of how safe one person could make me feel. The sound from a nearby bar filled the air as we got closer, I had only ever been to a bar a couple of times in my life Gavin had always persuaded me not to go telling me that it wasn't me he didn't trust it was the other guys that were out to. I had always thought it was kind of sweet that he worried so much but now I couldn't escape the feeling that maybe it wasn't sweet at all. I observed the queue of people all waiting to get inside all chattering between themselves and having, I couldn't help but feel as though I had missed out on a lot. After a moment my eyes stopped on a man and woman stood on the pavement smoking a cigarette each, they were holding hands and he was whispering into her ear as she giggled flirtatiously, her long blonde hair hung in loose curls around her shoulders. She wore a tight black dress that clung to her hourglass petite figure, her legs felt as though they went on for days and were tanned to perfection, her feet were squeezed into a pair of open toed strap stiletto heels. She was everything I had ever dreamed to be. My stomach dropped as I registered who the man was, my eyes filled with hot tears and my throat felt tight as I tried with all my mite to force myself not to cry. "Gavin" I chocked as a stray tear broke free and ran down my cheek. Adams' head whipped round as he heard me speak.

"Wh-?' He began until he see what I see "Let's go" He said grabbing my arm and tried tp steer me back towards the car. I stood rooted to the spot in shock. "Come on Jay" He commanded tugging my arm.

"What's wrong with me?" I whispered not breaking my gaze from Gavin and the mystery girl.

"Fuck this" Adam spat through gritted teeth as he let go of my arm and stormed over to Gavin. "Are you for real dude?" He growled grabbing Gavin by the collar. The mystery girl screamed.

"What the fuck do you want?" Gavin spat back.

"You to stop doing this to Jay" He answered still gripping on to his collar. Gavin looked over Adams shoulder at me stood wearing Adams jumper crying at what I had just seen.

"Jay" He said "Jay you've misunderstood" He begged.

"I love you" I sobbed as I finally let go and let myself cry "Do you even love me?"

"Come on baby..." He smiled shrugging Adam off and taking a couple of steps towards me. "Of course, I do" The mystery girl looked at what was happening in complete confusion.

"Gav?" She asked confusion clear on her face.

"Not now" He said through gritted teeth.

"Adam" I said looking over at him "I want to go home" I sniffed turning away.

"Baby please…" He sighed grabbing my hands "You know how much I love you" He smiled "After what we spoke about earlier, I was so hurt that…"

"Adam" I sobbed holding my sides not wanting to hear another word, with that Adams arms were around me and we were walking back towards the car. I climbed into the passenger side and Adam strapped me as I was paralysed with the grief of what had just happened.

"It's gonna be ok" He told me looking me dead in the eye "I'm going to get you home"

"I don't want to be alone" I mumbled.

"Ok" Adam half smiled as he kissed my forehead, shut the door and jumped in the drivers' side.