"Fine" he snapped "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I had proposed to Beth, I didn't know I was going to do it myself if I'm being honest" He explained his eyes pleading with me "I showed up with every intention of breaking up with her and coming back to figure out things with you and then once I had proposed I could never find the right time to bring it up, I came to tell you the night I found you looking for your wedding ring when I punched Gavin but you were drunk and upset and then when we spoke at my house I knew you'd be angry and confused so I kept quiet hoping I could buy some more time to tell you before you came on the road for good"

"Wait…" I held my hands up in complete shock "You were going to break up and come back to me?" My hands were shaking as I processed what was being said to me.

"Yeah" He nodded "But when I got here and I saw her I couldn't do it, Jay, I'm sorry" My heart twisted "What we have" He gestured between us "Is amazing…I look at you and I want to rip your clothes off" He chuckled rubbing his stubble "But I've been with Beth on and off for the past 10 years we have a bond that just keeps pulling me back to her and I guess to prove to myself and everyone else that that is still what I want I proposed" the words took the wind out of me, I never thought that his original plan was to leave Beth and come back to me, did he see something more between us?

"And then felt me up and tried to kiss me again" I pointed out throwing my hair in to a bun "The night you kissed me Adam, you said you promised yourself you wouldn't do this, what did you mean?" The words had been spinning in my head since he had said them and I needed answers.

"Really?" He whispered "You don't know" he ran his hands through his hair "I've wanted to do that since the minute we met when the dogs had you over, Jesus Jay you've been driving me crazy since the moment I first laid eyes on you" I stood mouth open in shock as Adam spoke, he grabbed my face looking in to my eyes "You're sexy and you're funny and I have loved every minute of our time together since we met."

"This doesn't make sense" I whispered, "You're engaged."

"Are you telling me that if I wasn't things would be different between us?" He asked staring at me intently.

"Well…I…" I stammered in utter shock, this is not how I expected this conversation to go "Adam…I… you're 20 years older than me" I managed to piece together.

"Yeah…if I was 20 years younger Jay" He said pulling me in to a hug.

"You know what Adam this is bullshit why are you suddenly saying all of this now?" I snapped I didn't believe a word of what he was saying "I've been hurt so much over this past 6 months but I always thought I was safe with you, that at least no matter what happened there was one decent guy on this planet and then you go and prove that you're no better than Gavin" I stepped out of the hug he had pulled me in to. Maybe it was the wine talking but I had a newfound confidence, and I was not about to let Adam get away with this so easily.

"Jay you wanted the truth so that's what you're getting" Adam argued "And you don't get to throw me in the same category as him" He seethed; I'd made him angry "I feel awful about the way I have treated both of you he felt nothing about his treatment of you" He ran his hands through his hair trying to calm himself down "And in answer to your question I promised myself I wouldn't act upon how crazy you make me because I know I'm not the guy for you and I'm definitely old enough to be your dad" He added.

"Just because you feel awful that doesn't excuse your crappy behaviour Adam" I snapped "And you can cut the crap"

"It's not crap Jay" He sighed in defeat.

"Just because you feel bad it doesn't mean you're any better than he is" I told him, it was clear that the words hurt him, he closed his eyes for a second trying to compose himself and process what I was saying.

"What exactly is going on here Jay?" He spoke, his voice shook as he tried to stay calm "Are you mad that I got engaged and didn't tell you or is there something else going on?" I inhaled sharply and took a step back in shock, was he asking me outright if I had feelings for him?

"I'm angry that you weren't straight with me Adam" I chose my words carefully, there was no way I was going to admit how I felt about him, especially not now he had got engaged "I'm angry you kissed me and then disappeared on me for days and then did the same thing again without any explanation as to what was going on or why and then I find out you're engaged, you left me to think that maybe there was something more going on between us, I was so confused Adam I thought we were friends" I answered trying not to cry, he closed his eyes for a second and took a large breath before replying.

"We are friends Jay" He responded whilst trying to grab my arm to pull me in to a hug but I moved out the way too quickly.

"Ok" I said tears now running down my face.

"Oh no Jay…" He looked helpless as he took a step towards me but I took one back not wanting him to get too close "Jay I'm sorry I didn't mean for this…"

"We're just friends" I interrupted "Friends who kissed once but that's it" I told him "Adam I miss what we had before, forget Gavin showing up, forget the kiss and the touching, forget all of that" I voiced shaking my head "I miss us as friends spending all of our time together wrestling, watching movies, hiking with the dogs and eating crap food" I was telling him the truth I did miss all of that and want it back but what I wanted more than anything was for him to say he wanted me and not Beth "No matter how awful things were for me I knew that I had you and I miss that."

"Then let's get back to that because I miss it to" He replied pulling me in to the tightest hug imaginable "I wish you knew how sorry I am" he uttered as we held on tightly to each other, he rested his chin on the top of my head "I should go" He whispered into my hair after a few minutes of silence between us but making no attempt to move "I'll see you tomorrow?" He said leaning back a few inches so he could see my face, I smiled up at him. I knew I should still be mad at him, maybe it was years of abuse from Gavin or maybe I was just too soft but looking up at Adam in the moment any anger I felt melted away.

"You should probably spend some time with Beth" I pointed out looking up at him and making no effort to move away, she had seemed pissed when she saw I was here to and I didn't want to cause any drama.

"Yeah" He rubbed his stubble with one hand whilst his other was still firmly wrapped around my waist "She's busy the next couple of days so I don't think she'll be around" He explained.

"As long as I'm not starting World War 3" I chuckled wrapping my arms around his neck, we again stood in silence for a moment, our arms wrapped tightly around each other. "Come on" I said finally breaking the hold we had on each other and the silence between us "You should get back to Beth" I told him stepping back, we said our goodbyes and Adam quickly left. I shut the door behind him and instantly grabbed my phone.

Are you free?

Jayme x

Before I even had time to set my phone back down it began to ring with Isabelle's number on the screen.

"Hello" I answered.

"What's happened?" She asked without even greeting me.

"He's engaged" I stated.

"No…freaking…way" She replied in complete shock.

"Yes, freaking way" I groaned falling back on to the bed.

"And he never told you?"

"Nope" I sighed rubbing my face, I grimaced as I saw the makeup that had rubbed off on to my hand, I wasn't used to wearing this much make up at all "He asked her when he was AWOL a couple weeks ago"

"WAIT!" She squealed "This was after he kissed you?"

"Yep…but before the night Gavin came back when we had been for a drink"

"Oh my god" Isabelle whispered in complete shock, we were both silent for a moment "Have you spoken about this with him?"

"Yeah he said he loves her…" I began before Isabelle began interrupting me.

"Wait a minute…" I could almost hear her mind ticking over as she thought "When he said to you it can't be any more than friends between you guys you don't think this is what he meant do you?" She asked.

"Seriously how do you remember this shit?" I asked again rubbing my face, this time grabbing a makeup wipe when I realised, I had again forgotten how much makeup I was wearing. "Anyway, I think you're reading far too much into this Isabelle."

"You wouldn't have text me if you didn't want to hear what I have to say Jayme" She pointed out, I pulled a face at her down the phone in frustration at how right she was. I wanted to speak to her because I liked what she had to say about the situation, she was so sure Adam felt the same way.

"Look, I think him being engaged is good enough reason to believe that he doesn't feel the same way" I told her with another sigh trying to rid myself of the now heavy feeling that had taken hold of my chest.

"What was his explanation for proposing?" She asked ignoring my statement.

"Well…it was a bit weird to be honest" I explained "He said he never planned to propose, he actually planned to end things with her and come back to figure out things with me and…"

"Well you left that piece of information out" Isabelle laughed loudly down the phone.

"That's not all…" I groaned "He said I've been driving him crazy since we met" I admitted, the words he had spoken were swirling in my mind as I went over every tiny detail of what was said between us.

"Girl, my advice is leave him to it he's made his decision now let him suffer the consequences" I was taken aback by her sudden change of tone "That's him admitting he likes you but for whatever reason he's decided to make the wrong decision…Believe me he'll come running back eventually"

"You know what I've just walked away from a messy situation with Gavin, the last thing I want to do is walk straight in to another one" I told her.

"I think you're right girl" Isabelle yawned "This situation is getting more and more complicated by the day" I had to agree with her on this one, every time I thought I had wrapped my head around it he would come along and complicate things again. Isabelle let out another yawn.

"Sorry I'm keeping you up I'll let you go"

"It's fine, I'll see you when you're back" We said our goodbyes and I put the phone down, I rolled over and groaned in to my pillow, this was not what I had planned when I moved to America.