Triforce Shards
A collection of one-shots covering all things Zelda.
9. Inferior
"I will take over the world. Don't look at me that way, you know I will. Of course I haven't had as much practice as you have, but just give me a while. You know your game's up, pal. I'm better than you. I look better, I'm younger, I'm smarter than you and I don't resort to the same tactic when I make my attempts to take over Hyrule. You say you're the king? Well I'm the emperor. The shogun. The maharaja. The president. The greatest source of evil that the world has ever known. There's no-one better than me."
"Except of course, for a hat. And me."
"…"
"I at least have never been beaten by an inanimate object."
"But you've failed more times than I have!"
"Only because I've been at it longer than you. And I won once too, by the way."
"…Well, I have fangirls!"
A sigh.
"You're saying I don't? I have canon fangirls, kid, and they're going nowhere."
"People will get bored of you."
"Is that so? Then why is it always asked if I will be in every new game that's announced?"
"My fanbase is growing! You know your time is up, old man."
"Vaati…"
"Yes?"
"You're less than two inches tall. I could crush you with my shoe."
"You wouldn't."
"Ah Vaati, that is the difference between you and I. I am the King of Evil."
Thud.
"That's precisely what I would do."
It was then Vaati realised that the Evil Realm really was too small for his ego to coexist with Ganon's.