I stood in Paige's kitchen with a bottle of water, I had chosen not to drink so that I could keep a clear head around Adam but the longer I was at the party trying to avoid him every time he entered the room the harder it became not to start drinking. I stood with Paige and a couple of her friends from outside the WWE trying to engage in conversation without sounding like my mind was elsewhere. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I see a tall figure walk into the room, I turned to see who it was and came face to face with Stu.

"Hi" He beamed, wrapping his arms around me, holding me tight.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, responding to his hug by wrapping my arms around his neck, he nuzzled his nose into my neck taking a deep breath in.

"I hadn't seen you since you broke things off. I wanted to see how you are" he told me, pulling away.

"I'm doing good" I responded, "What about you?"

"Yeah, I'm good" he nodded "Where's Adam?" he asked, looking around the kitchen for him.

"He's around here somewhere I think" I shrugged.

"Are you not here together? I thought…"

"No" I interrupted him shaking my head "Stu, when I ended things with you it wasn't to be with Adam" I explained "It was because I knew it wasn't fair to you if I continued something with you when I knew the way I was feeling about Adam wasn't entirely platonic" I revealed, a small smile played at his lips as he looked down at me.

"I thought you'd gone straight to him" he admitted, grabbing a bott le of beer, and taking a large swig.

"Nope, I'm concentrating on myself" I chuckled.

"I'm proud of you" he told me, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to go see where Drew's got to, he sounded pretty hammered when he rang me to come here" he laughed, giving my shoulder a squeeze, and leaving to find his friend. As he left, I see Adam enter the kitchen again, this time he sees Stu leaving. I noted that his usual angry expression at the sight of Stu hadn't taken over, instead he looked sad and defeated as if all the fight had been taken out of him suddenly.

"Hey Jay, can we talk?" he asked, approaching me before I could protest, he had taken my hand in his and walked me upstairs looking for somewhere quiet for us to talk where we wouldn't be disturbed all the while he was still holding my hand, a fact that my whole body was painfully aware of. He walked to the end of the hallway to a door with a small hanging sign that said, 'spare room', he tried the handle and peered in as it creaked open. "Here" he gestured his head in "it should be fairly quiet in here" he said as I followed him in, he clicked the door shut quietly behind us quickly checking no one had followed or seen us.

"What do you want?" I asked as he turned to face me.

"I wanted to apologise" he told me "I've been thinking about you a lot lately" he paused "not that I don't do that anyway" he chuckled "but I know that I've not been entirely fair to you, and I just wanted you to know how truly sorry I am that it turned out like this" he sighed.

"Thank you" I said, eyes wide in shock, I hadn't expected this from him at all.

"I was only trying to save you more heartache than you had already been through, and it turns out I just made it worse"

"Yeah…"

"And Jay…" he said "I miss you" he took a step towards me taking both my hands in his.

"I miss you too" I half smiled up at him, he took a step towards me tracing his fingers along the edges of the bruising now beginning to who around my nose.

"I don't know what I'd have done if she'd hurt you" he muttered.

"It looks worse than it feels now" I told him taking his wrist and pulling it away from my face, I didn't want him to see the effect he was having on me with just a simple gentle touch.

"I wish things hadn't have turned out the way they have" he whispered sadly.

"You had every chance to stop me leaving that room Adam, but you chose to let me leave" I told him "You made it clear that there was no hope for us but you wouldn't let me move on" he shoved his hands awkwardly in to his pockets clearly uncomfortable hearing exactly what he had done "Every time you felt me slip away you'd pull me back, you didn't want me but you didn't want anyone else to have me either" Relief washed over me as for the first time I was completely honest with him "This is all on you."

"Jay…" he uttered his eyes full of sadness "I did want you" He paused for a moment "I do want you" he corrected, emphasis on the word 'do'. "I just don't ever want to hurt you and I know I've done that anyway, but I've made mistakes in the past when I was in relationships, and I've hurt people but you're different I'd never forgive myself if I hurt you to" he explained. I nodded taking in what he was saying, I knew that that was how he felt but this was the first calm conversation we had had about it.

"I don't think you would have" I told him "I know you well enough to know you wouldn't hurt me"

"I should go" he said as he took a step backwards.

"Yeah…" I responded watching him take a few small steps back towards the door with his eyes still fixated upon me. I gave it a few minutes after he had left before I also left the bedroom, so no one got the wrong impression and started asking questions, I darted straight across the landing and shut myself in the bathroom. Leaning against the sink I took a few deep steadying breaths, I knew him being here would be dangerous I'd done everything I could to avoid being completely alone with him in the last month and the second I was the want I had for him had come flooding back, there was no escaping just how much I wanted him. The door opening pulled me from my thoughts, Stu looked a little taken aback to see me.

"You know there's a lock on these things?" he laughed pointing back toward the door, his laugh quickly turned into a frown when he saw my flustered expression "Are you ok?" he asked, "I saw Adam come to you after I left the kitchen, he didn't upset you did he?" I shook my head in response not wanting to talk for fear of screaming in frustration. "Jay, I hope he knows just how lucky he is that he has someone like you interested in him" he told me taking a step to me, placing a finger under my chin and tipping my face up slightly to see him "You're perfect" he mumbled "and I fell in love with you the instant that I met you" he whispered "If only he could see just what he has" he added before exiting the bathroom leaving me completely alone. I turned back to the sink allowing a stray tear to run down my cheek, why couldn't I want Stu as much as I wanted Adam? He was good, and kind, he loved me, and he wasn't afraid to show it he was everything I knew Adam was but no matter how hard I tried to stop it my whole heart ached with how much I wanted Adam. With that the lights went out and the music cut out, all the party goers began shouting and laughing as we were all plunged into darkness. I stood thankful that the blaring music had finally stopped for a moment allowing me to gather my thoughts in the dark for a moment, a second later I heard the door click open. I squinted trying to see who it was, but it was no use. It was completely pitch black.

"Stu?" I asked into the darkness without receiving a response. I continued "Stu, I'm sorry if I hurt you" I told him "I really did truly care for you but…" I took a deep breath "A few months ago me and Adam kissed and after that something clicked in my head" I admitted "I thought at first that it was nothing and I was being ridiculous but the more time I spent with Adam the more I felt myself falling and I swear to you I didn't plan for it but it just happened I never thought he would be interested in someone like me so I brushed it off, tried to move past it and then when I met you and you were so open with me about your feelings I knew I had been lucky enough to stumble upon someone so special and kind and any woman would be lucky to have you" I took a breath "but it turns out it wasn't enough and please don't think that's on you because in truth I don't think anyone but him will ever be enough for me and I guess that's something I will just have to live with because I'm in love with him…but he's not in love with me so…" I was relieved that I was finally being honest with both Stu and myself but devastated that I knew the chances of me and Adam actually starting a relationship were zero. He still hadn't said a word in response, the shouting in the house had died down now turning into chatter as they all waited for the lights and music to come back on "Stu?" I asked hoping he wasn't too angry at me; he had just told me he was in love with me, and my response was to tell him he wasn't enough for me and that I was in love with someone else. I heard him pace up and down clearly upset, I took a step with my hand out trying to find him so I could apologise once more but something in my mind told me suddenly that this wasn't Stu, maybe it was the scent or his presence, but I was suddenly very aware that this wasn't who I thought it was. I gasped and went to explain myself but a set of lips crashing to my own interrupted me, the kiss was hungry and passionate like whoever this was had waited a million years for this very moment, they groaned slightly into the kiss. Their hands grabbed my hips pushing me back towards the sink, I reached a hand out behind me steadying myself as I did, trying not to lose my footing. The hands began roaming from my hips to my bare midriff exploring every inch of it, whoever it was they were desperate to feel every last inch their hands trailed up my back pulling me closer to them, so our bodies were pressed together. I sighed into the kiss finally responding I had come to the realisation in seconds that this wasn't Stu at all, kissing him had never felt like this. This kiss was hungry and passionate, Stu had always been soft and gentle with me as if I would break if he was too rough. I moved my hands from the sink to their body hoping to figure out who this was by touch, but they grabbed my hands and placed them back on the sink, whoever it was they didn't want me to know it was them. Without a second thought they had lifted me, so I was sitting on the edge of the sink, my legs wrapped around their waist pressing them against me. Their erection pressed into me through their jeans, I moaned lightly as I moved my hips to feel its length. I again attempted to move my hands, this time he was too engrossed to realise as I placed my hands behind his neck deepening the kiss allowing his tongue entrance to my mouth. Another low groan escaped his chest before he suddenly pulled away and I heard the door open and close again. He was gone. I sat on the edge of the sink catching my breath for a few seconds before the light came back on, I looked around for any sign of who it might have been, I knew it wasn't Stu for sure and it couldn't have been Adam because he had every chance to do that when we spoke in the bedroom so surely, he would have done it then. I jumped down and opened the door hoping they would be standing outside on the landing waiting but there was no one, the music was thumping again as I searched the living room, Stu was sitting with Drew laughing and chatting away. I walked through to the kitchen and found Paige. My lips still burned from the kiss as if their lips were still there moving effortlessly with my own. I placed a hand on my stomach for a second as my skin tingled with the memory of their hands.

"Where's Adam?" I asked Paige, a small part of me was hoping it was him who had just kissed me like that, who else could it have been? I convinced myself who in their right mind would kiss a woman like that who had just declared they were in love with someone else. It had to be him; there was no other explanation for it. I felt my stomach begin to flip in anticipation looking around for him so I could grab him and do it again. I had to do it again. No more running after that kiss.

"I think he left just before the lights went out" she told me; a sympathetic look written across her face. My breath caught in my throat as I gained confirmation it hadn't been Adam who had just kissed me like that, horror washed over me as I learned that there was someone here at this party who knew how I felt.

I walked through the door of my hotel room and ran my hands through my hair in frustration. One five-minute conversation with Adam alone had sent me spiralling back to square one. I had worked so hard over the past month to move on from my feelings for Adam and that one conversation had undone it all. I threw myself onto the bed and let out a deep sigh as I stared at the ceiling recalling the kiss in the bathroom, I was so sure it had been Adam until Paige said he had left before the lights came on, who else could it have been? My phone ringing pulled me from my thoughts.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Jayme…" Katrina's voice responded, she sounded distressed causing me to sit up forgetting all about the kiss and Adam.

"What's wrong?" I asked panicked.

"It's John" She sniffed "He's had a heart attack" She told me, my mouth fell open in shock "He's in hospital Jayme…"

"I'll be there as soon as I can" I told her "I'll leave now and get the next flight home" I added grabbing my suitcase and hastily throwing my clothes in.

"I'll see you soon" She said through a sob before putting the phone down. Throwing the last of my clothes into my suitcase I zipped it up and made my way quickly down to reception to check out.