Miss-Cagalli: So this is a little songfic that I thought about while listening to "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera from her new cd "Back to Basics". It's a really sweet song and involves a lot of piano and strings orchestra. Hope you enjoy!
BTW: I haven't seen Destiny because it hasn't been aired in Canada yet, so don't penalize me for that. It's not my fault!
All she could do was lie in the rain. No one could tell how much she was crying, with all of the drops running off of her face. It seemed like it was just yesterday since she had seen his face. He had told her how proud he was, but she had just walked away from him. She wished she had known just a few days ago, what she knew now.
She just wanted to hold him in her arms, to take all of that pain she knew he was feeling away. She forgave him now for everything he had done to hurt her. He deliberately tried to push her away to save her, but she was so angry with him, she got herself in the way, and he died trying to prevent what he knew had happened.
All she wanted to do was hear his voice again. There was nothing she wouldn't do just to be with him, or at least see him. Even if she had called him that night, she knew he wouldn't pick up. Even if he was still alive, she didn't think he would even want to talk to her.
She was so sorry for blaming him, and for everything she had done in hate, because he had told her he didn't want to ever see her again. She just couldn't go home now. She was so broken, she would have never been the same the next day, and she knew it. She had hurt herself, by hurting the one man she knew she loved. They were each other's future. He promised to marry her if they stayed together, but now she would never be with him again.
Drowning in the rain would be all I want right now, she thought, closing her eyes. She wanted to look into his eyes and see him looking back with those eyes that loved her. One more chance was all she wanted to change what had happened the night before.
"Why?" she screamed into the rain, "I'm sorry! Please some back."
She would have told him how much she missed him since he went away. "Another chance" were the words that constantly went through her mind.
All Cagalli wanted was to see Athrun alive again...
Even the few weeks leading up to Athrun's death were vivid in Cagalli's mind. She could still see him in her mind, see his smile, see his emerald green eyes. Athrun was a sweet guy, kind, caring and handsome.
Cagalli met Athrun when the war between the Naturals and the Coordinators was still raging on. She was trying to save the Earth Alliance from an attack, although the princess of a neutral nation and crashed her Skygrasper into a deserted island. To her surprise, Athrun had landed on the same island. After shooting at each other, and having a fight, Athrun had managed to tie her up. She was getting soaked in the rain, kind of like she was now, and he had taken a little pity on her and sheilded her from it under the Aegis. The two had stayed in a cave near a fire for the night.
She didn't know his name until they parted the next day when Kira and the rest of the crew from the Archangel had come to rescue her.
She had met him a second time when her friend Kira, who she soon found out was her brother, had gone missing and in his place was Athrun.
The two boys that were such good friends at a young age had tried to kill each other, and when Athrun started the self destruct on the Aegis, his Gundam Suit, it seemed that Kira had gone with the machines in the blast. ORB, Cagalli's nation, was neutral but went out to look at the explosions just outside their border, and there was Athrun, lying on the beach unconcious. Cagalli expected to find Kira, but had taken Athrun in anyways. He was hurt and in need, and although he was with the ZAFT Alliance, she needed to take care of him. Athrun might have been able to tell Cagalli where Kira was if he woke up soon enough so she could conduct another search party.
When he finally did wake up and Cagalli confronted him, Athrun told her the one thing she didn't want to hear: "He's dead... because I killed him with my own two hands." Although Cagalli thought that Kira was dead because of Athrun, she still gave him an amulet with the explination that she didn't want anyone else to die around her.
Both of them hadn't seen anything else of each other until she, Kira and Athrun had joined Lacus Clyne's group that was made of ORB, EA and ZAFT soldiers that believed what the universe needed co-operation and joint efforts whether Coordinator or Natural. Some believed that we needed a blue and pure world so groups like Blue Cosmos were formed, that hated the other side of the war with all of their existence.
Cagalli believed in what Lacus and the others thought, so she joined up with ORB and her father's spirit behind her. Although she didn't want to fight, Cagalli felt that there was no other way right then.
She had shared her first kiss with him, before they both went to fight the last battle of the war. His father, who was Chairman for ZAFT, was firing off a cannon in space that's next target was Earth. It could destroy her home, and Cagalli had to help prevent it.
Athrun had pushed her away that time, the first time he tried to save her. He was going to self destruct the Justice, his newer Gundam Suit after the Aegis, to destroy the cannon, but at the last second Cagalli barged in and took him out before the explosion had errupted.
The two wanted to be together after the war had finished and after all of this time, and they were able to be, up until a few months before he had died, when this heart break had began...
"DAMN IT!" Cagalli yelled, throwing clothes everywhere, "WHERE THE HELL IS IT?"
Myrna, her house keeper came in and frowned on the messiness of her room.
"What are you looking for, Miss Cagalli?" she asked the flustered teen.
"My red tank top! Have you seen it Myrna?" Cagalli asked, breathing heavily.
"It's in the wash Princess," said Myrna calmly.
"Wash?" said Cagalli surprised, "Wait, what did I tell you about calling me Princess!"
"Sorry Miss Cagalli," replied Myrna.
"Now I have to find something else to wear!" yelled Cagalli going back into her closet, "DAMN IT!"
All of a sudden, there was a knock on her door.
"Cagalli?" asked the voice outside her door.
"Just a moment Athrun! I promise I'll be out in a few minutes!" she shouted back.
"I'll be outside with Kira when you're ready, okay?" he replied.
"Yeah Yeah!" she said finally picking out a new blouse.
After ten minutes of trying to get herself ready for him, Cagalli went outside.
It was a chilly and late March morning. Cagalli smiled at her brother and boyfriend as she saw the two of them.
"Hey Cagalli," greeted Kira, "You're late coming out."
"Sorry," she replied, "Couldn't find anything to wear."
Kira gave Cagalli a surprised look. He always took his twin sister as a tomboy, never caring what her clothes looked like. Then again, he never had seen her without a gun holstered on her hip before the end of the war.
The group was going to go for a walk and were going to try and see a movie. Cagalli hadn't been out for some fun for some months now. She had always been busy with ORB representatives who continued to get under her skin. She took over the nation after her father's death, and it was taking a toll on her after just a few years. Glad to get out of the house, she was intending to have the most fun possible.
A few hours after the departure from the house, Cagalli's beeper went off.
"What's up?" Kira asked.
"Damn it," said Cagalli, "One day! That's all I wanted. They need my help with something."
"You go do what you have to Princess Cagalli," smiled Athrun.
"Call me that one more time and I swear Athrun..." she replied angrily.
"What are you going to do to me?" he asked.
"Nevermind!" she replied, "I need to go!"
Athrun and Kira said their goodbyes to Cagalli. Athrun gave her a small kiss on her forehead and she walked towards the city building, anticipating what they were going to ask her to do this time.
Cagalli began to get up from her position in the wet alleyway, and began to walk towards the pier in the rain. Everything looked so different covered in a sheet of rain that she didn't know where she might have been.
The rain was so bone chilling cold that she began to shiver. Flashbacks of when she and Athrun met went through her mind. All of the rain made her wish that she could be sheilded by the Aegis again, like she was so many years ago.
Cagalli knew that Kira would be out looking for her soon, after all she had been missing for a day now. Her brother would be worried, but all she cared about right now was Athrun. He was dead, and it was her fault. In depth, she killed him.
After 5 hours and someodd minutes of working, Cagalli finally got a chance to return home for at least a nap before she had to get back up again and go to a conference with the leader of the Earth Alliance. It was irritating to have to keep meeting all of these people, but Cagalli didn't count on the grudge that the leader still held against the ZAFT forces, long disassembled after the end of the war.