Chapter 3

"I don't know who I am in this flow of life anymore. Got lost. I'm doing my job the way I'm told. I respect those who I'm told to. I despise at the behest too. And I've already forgotten to think what it's like to walk around Moscow with unpresentable look and not to think that on my legal day off I have no right to show weakness. No, with any minor nonsense I damage our department's reputation. I'm tired of protecting the interests of a small stratum of not really good people. It turns out that "good" and "right" are very different things, but they describe them as the same."

Petrovsky turned to Kolesnikov, who was thinking over the words of an old friend and colleague.

"Even though you got to be high up, your vision has become worse. The party doesn't care about people. Take this construction of a new station. We push ourselves, tighten the belt to the last hole, promise people dumplings with bacon for patience, and then give out a donut hole. But people endure, they hope. And our leaders at this time are coming up with how else to show off for the Alliance, to show independence and self-reliance. Like, you run around begging the Council, and we, the great and mighty, feed ourselves and clothe ourselves. And the surplus from feeding is used for building an absolutely unnecessary station. Have you seen surplus anywhere? There is no surplus according to the State Planning Committee, therefore, do not even ask for something really necessary."

"Everything is no better in the Alliance, Oleg. The problem is that they really can't feed themselves, and never could. Do you remember the moment when the United States gathered all the countries under their wing and banner? Most of them put forward the rejection of that old green paper as a condition. And if not for the help of the new-old friends, the Americans would have become poor as hell. And if they had also opened their empty Fort Knox before the conclusion of the agreements, many countries would have torn them apart before dying from starvation. Or would have thrown fake ingots at them. Every time I think about the Alliance policy from a historical point of view and look at the Udina's work, I remember the expression "fools are lucky," Kolesnikov said.

"The Alliance is also wrong in many ways. I don't want to say that we are bad, while they have mint gingerbread hanging from every bush. I want to say that no one cares about anything for a very long time. A close example. Is the appointment of an intel officer as an ambassador a new fashion? Aren't there people that are more competent? At the meantime, our ambassador extraordinary gets diabetes by absorbing liters of his sweet tea. Although he could have done it alongside you at the Citadel. He has more experience than you, he could have shared it. Solely out of love for his state and respect for his comrade. But no."

"Mikhailovich told me that you have some defeatist mood, but this... Maybe you have found an earthly paradise somewhere, and this gives you the right to doubt what was created before you? And for you, to some extent."

"Mikhailovich has now been sent to the construction of the station in order to control the Alliance's inspection commission. That is, to control the controllers. How do you like the job? Is it an honor to guard the guards? And we all do this kind of nonsense. The rivalry between the Alliance and the USSR reminds me of a race for the Guinness Book of Records. And it doesn't matter that you have to do obvious stupid things. To pass a couple of venomous snakes through your nose? No problem. The main thing is that the USSR did it, not the Alliance. And we don't care that no one needs this achievement. The main thing is that it is there. An extra point in your favor is put on a non-existent board, and the fact that this is outright bullshit is not important. But humanity looks with hope at these people. The Alliance wants to see a future better life through the distorted prism of false ideals, while our people - through an impenetrable Komsomol card. And at the same time, all this high galactic community sees us as under-evolved primates. You know what the saddest thing is? The fact that I really believe in that rejected theory. Both our government and the Alliance remind me of gorillas, who beat each other up, wanting to show off for a female ready for mating. However, while these primates are distracted by each other, this female is banged by a completely another male. Not the strongest one. I mean that people basically do not care under whose banner to march. As long as they are fed. And there will eventually be someone else who will feed… But then he'll start banging."

"I wanted to take a break from all this demagoguery on vacation, and you immediately threw me into it. Let's digress. Maybe you're used to seeing the beauty of the homeland every day, but I rarely get it. I'm going to take another dip."

Kolesnikov again plunged into the cool September waters of the lake, to which Petrovsky kindly took him. However, the head did not want to cool down in any way. Oleg was too convincing as a speaker, too persistent. Kolesnikov didn't want to think that his old friend was right and that everything was so bad for humanity. Not for the governments, but for the people. He always considered himself a convinced communist and believed that the policy pursued by the Central Committee of the party was the only true one. And he saw a lot of evidence of this, comparing the people from the Alliance and from the Soviet Union. The level was different. Even his appointment shows that "a cook can rule the country." That it was not so difficult to retrain. No, of course, he would not become like the ambassador extraordinary, who, most likely, could even make friends with Udina. Never. This level is unattainable. But he was able to understand the intricacies of political intrigues. And he would improve new skills more than once. At the same time, he could not imagine a single familiar Alliance officer in the political service. Even calm and reasonable Anderson, with whom Kolesnikov managed to get close, didn't suit.

But if you look at the situation through the eyes of Petrovsky, it became quite sad. What seemed to Kolesnikov only annoying little details, for Oleg was a considerable disadvantage. However, he was always an idealist. And the level of education in the USSR was to blame for his conversations and thoughts. He learned to reason. The Alliance did not teach this. To gain experience in your path - yes. But no more. There were no large-scale thinkers among the people of the Alliance, or there were very few. A special policy, historically laid down once in the United States, had been in effect to this day. But you didn't have to worry that a new Trotsky would be born in such an environment. Or at least Makhno. But the population had a sound sleep. And so had the Alliance government.

Having returned to the shore, Kolesnikov sat down next to Petrovsky. He thoughtfully watched the surface of the lake.

"But we can lose all this while our governments are flirting with each other."

"What are you talking about?" Kolesnikov asked.

"There is a force in the galaxy that neither the entire fleet of the Council, nor, much less, the united human one, can compare with. And this force is close. And we are busy with revisions and measurements of the reproductive organs. No, it can't go on like this. I'm tired, Kolesnikov, I want to act, not pretend to be busy. It is impossible to reach anyone. We need to look for people who are willing to work for humanity, and not live at its expense. That's when the Council itself will ask to join its ranks. In the meantime, the Alliance is only groveling, and what the USSR is doing, represented by you, I do not understand at all."

"Believe me, it's a big job. Especially now, if we are to believe the General Secretary."

"And if we aren't to believe?"

Kolesnikov said nothing.

"And what kind of mysterious force did you mention?" he spoke again.

"A race. The most perfect of all. And this race is approaching us at full speed."

"Is that bad? Is that dangerous? Where did you get the information at all? The Defense Council is silent," Kolesnikov did not understand the disembodied concern of his friend.

"When they talk about it, the information will no longer make sense," Petrovsky shifted his gaze to Kolesnikov. "We have known each other for a long time, so I think I have the right to ask, without fear that you will convey my words to some competent authorities. And the answer, of course, will remain between us. Would you be able to leave the service and go? Just give up everything, slam the door, strangle the longing and run away?"

Kolesnikov knew he couldn't. At the thought that he would have to say goodbye to the service, even if not the best, he felt cold and lonely. And everything that he himself blamed, scolded, did not understand, became a trifle, a misunderstanding. A temporary annoying incident that would certainly resolve itself. And he didn't care that everything was not so good. It was easier for Kolesnikov to say that everything was not so bad. And if you turned a constant humor mode on, then everything in the world would become either beautiful or funny. But not bad and scary. Perhaps, for Oleg, Kolesnikov's position was a powerless sacrifice. The ambassador himself did not think so. He boldly called himself a happy man and he was not lying. And since his youth, he has always hated rebels. He believed that it was idlers who created revolutions, because at the end of the working day he only had enough energy to hug his wife. Nothing more. And to fall asleep thinking that the next day he would be even more tired. And the day after tomorrow, he would be half dead from tiredness. But he knew for sure that another couple of years of such a state, and he would move to a larger apartment. And he wouldn't have to pay for it. And no Alliance bank would take it away just because he hadn't paid the notorious fashionable Western mortgage for it. Everything was stable. And that was it. Indeed, everything. He didn't want to change "stably good" to "stably unclear".

"I can't," Kolesnikov honestly admitted. "Perhaps my too stable life makes me a patriot. But I really believe it's not that bad."

"It's good that our ambassador believes in this. It is important. Forget about what I said. It doesn't suit you. And the world needs idealists. Especially in politics. But I'm a practitioner. I am the one who should prove to you the "ideality" of your system. But I can't. I don't believe. I've made a decision, perhaps the most important one in my life. I'll try to leave the service before they shoot me. Glad we could see each other. A bad time is coming, maybe we won't talk anymore."

"Drop it, Oleg," Kolesnikov got scared for his comrade.

"It's too late to drop. I'll give you a lift to the city."

Kolesnikov tried powerlessly to banish the memories of his short vacation on Earth. Even Shepard's report couldn't make the ambassador concentrate. His mind reeled with thoughts about Petrovsky, who left the service and joined a little-known and dubious organization. It was so unlike the principled Oleg, who was always foaming at the mouth about the exceptional importance of his work. And now he gave up everything and ran away. Kolesnikov did not like to think so, but the only word on his mind was "a traitor".

"Are you sure that this Liara can be trusted? Family ties are a very strong thing, even for people who seemingly hate each other most devotedly. You know yourself that one can hide from own blood only on the other side, if there is one. And it probably won't work there either," Kolesnikov looked thoughtfully at the holographic image of Shepard.

"Not that case. Liara was not close to her mother. There is no hate here. There are no feelings at all," the commander assured with conviction.

"I hope you're right. May I ask where you are going now?" Kolesnikov risked asking.

Shepard gave the ambassador a thoughtful look.

"I'll keep looking for Saren," he said vaguely.

"That is, you will fulfill the primary task of the Council? I heard that Hackett warned you about the geth threat in the Gagarin system. Perhaps they have bases in the neighboring systems of that nebula. Why don't you want to go there? Research there has been stopped because of the danger. And this affects the economies of both the Alliance and the USSR. Hackett asked not to interfere with the Soviet navy, but delays are bad for resource prospection. Moreover, Alliance colonization in other systems directly depends on supplies from this part of the galaxy.

"And the construction of our station, too. But it's better not to be a patriot talking to Shepard."

"Saren is a much greater danger than temporary economic stagnation. Don't you agree?" Shepard squinted at the ambassador's face.

"Not really. If pirates or slavers ruled this system, then indeed you could have waited. But it was Saren who brought the geth, and the devil knows what they are up to. To throw our economy out of balance by preventing research ships from landing? Are they building a colony? The quarians haven't so far managed to regain their homeworld and drive out the geth who settled there. And if they settle here as well? It's not very far from Earth. Saren, on the other hand, moves with a mobile, but a small retinue. Wouldn't it be better to deprive him of mass support, and then boringly to shoot the bodyguards?"

Kolesnikov watched Shepard with pleasure, who began to nod in agreement.

"Maybe you're right. Thanks for the clarification."

"Always glad to help."

Having ended the call, Kolesnikov sat down in chair. The mood became a little better, which is not bad. Of course, it's not very interesting to choose words for a boy who should understand such things without a commanding officer. But this was the Alliance's fault, which didn't consider it necessary to make its people mobile, not Shepard's. However, trying to gain the captain's trust in such a gentle way was not the worst plan. And then he would offer Zaeed to provide fire support and strengthen the spirit. And commander's nerves at the same time. The ambassador was sure that a person who could stand Massani for a long time and not become a shot victim of his bad mood was capable of everything.

Thanks for reading!

Do not hesitate and write about all mistakes, translation screw-ups and your impression of the story itself)

Credits:

Author: Екатерина2 ( ficbook /authors/724290)

Fanfic: "Из СССР с любовью" ( ficbook /readfic/3443325/9028842)