Authoress: (taps microphone) This thing on?!
Zoe: Yes, oh smart one (sigh)
Authoress: OK! YAY! More chapters for the little people!
Audience: WE'RE NOT LITTLE!
Authoress: O-O
Zoe: See what I mean, she is totally oblivious
Jareth: I'm with you on that one
Authoress: Why don't you two just get married?!
J & Z: AHH!
Authoress: I thought you were in the Bahamas for vacation?
Jareth: I was, but then I kept getting mistaken for that singer David Bowie
Bowie Fans: AND ACTOR!
The Trio (A, J, & Z): PIPE DOWN!
Authoress: Suppose I should get on with the fic, huh?
Audience: YES!
Authoress: Did you know David Bowie was a mime?
Everyone: GET ON WITH IT!
Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth, the worm, the crazy hat guy, the king, blah-blah-blah!

Full House Beats All
Let's Do the Time Warp!

"Bloody hell," Jareth exclaimed as he looked at the creation in front of him. It looked like a refrigerator connected to a door.

"Forgive me I didn't have a lot of resources," Kelli sighed as she glared in Shane's direction.

"Hey don't look at me, it's not my fault I'm the only one who has a job in this dump," Shane said and glared at Torrance. Torrance just shrugged and went back to examining her perfectly manicured nails.

"So how does it work?" a voice out of nowhere asked.

"AHH!" everyone screamed and whirled around. Sarah stood on the other side of the room with a grin on her face. Jareth smirked in delight, and don't ask me how you do that.

"How did you get in?!" Kori asked.

"Your back door was unlocked and open, you should be more careful, anyone could just walk in," Sarah scolded. The others shrugged.

"By the way, how's you dad?" Brittany asked.

"Who? Oh yeah, dad, oh he's uh, um," Sarah paused in the middle of her explanation. "Where is he?" she put a finger to her chin and thought.

"Well, you can think about that later, right now, you can either leave or come with us in the time stream," Leah said and pointed to the machine in the middle of Kelli's room.

"What ever you do choose, could you make it quite, your air is polluting my neat and clean room," Kelli said, annoyed. Everyone looked to her then to Sarah.

"Well, I've got nothing else to do!" Sarah said and shrugged. "Hey, who's that? I didn't know you have a gay brother," Sarah pointed to Jareth.

"Oh that's Jareth, don't mind him, he tends to blend into the background," Shane said.

"How does he do that?! I mean look at him! How does that blend into the background?!" Kori asked.

"Jareth? What are you doing here?" Sarah asked. Jareth shrugged and gave her a look of pure innocence (if it is possible).

"Vacation?"

"Vacation, my a-"

"No time for chit chat. Someone throw something into the freezer, I mean, translation pod," Kelli said and pushed the others towards the door. Brittany started to fumble through a pile of book.

"AHA!" she exclaimed and threw a book in the freezer, uh, whatever. Then Kelli opened the door.

"Ok, jump in!" she yelled.

"Into the swirling vortex of horror?" Shane asked

"YES!" Kelli said and pushed her through. There was a scream and then she pushed the others through. This was going to be a very long story. And the scary part is that it's just beginning.


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Authoress: MWAHAHAHA!
Zoe: Um, ok…..
Jareth: We've got to cut her off the cola
Zoe: No kidding
Authoress: Should I stop there?
Audience: OF COURSE NOT!!
Authoress: Is it just me or does the audience yell a lot
Zoe: No, I've noticed it too
Jareth: I guess the reviewers get more

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The group landed hard on a grassy hill. "Alright, who spiked the popcorn?" Brittany asked as she sat up. She looked down and screamed. The others quickly sat up and looked to Brittany.

"What's wrong, why did you scream?!" Leah asked from over Brittany.

"Look at these close! They are soooo tacky," she said and pointed to her clothes. The other sighed in frustration. Leah whacked Brittany upside the head. They then looked down at their own clothes. They were all wearing peasant and dark ages clothing.

"Brittany, what book did you throw into the freez- thing?" Kelli asked when she was done looking at her own clothes. They were all wearing peasant and dark ages clothing.

"Oh yeah, it was your copy of the Lord of the Rings trilogy," Brittany said without a care in the world.

"WHAT?!" everyone stared at Brittany. Before they could strangle the poor dumb blonde they heard hoof beats.

"Crap!" Shane cursed then put on her best happy face. Picture a sadistic mouse. Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn galloped up. The man and elf looked very strapping and many of the girls were drooling.

"Oh brother," Leah rolled her eyes. Jareth was instead keeping an eye on Sarah, who was at the moment staring at Legolas.

"Who are you people?" Gandalf asked. Shane straightened up and cleared her throat.

"Us? Um, we are lowly travelers, looking for, um," Shane started to say.

"Gondor," Kelli said. "Thank god I read the series," she muttered. Shane sent her a glare, but the genius ignored it. The men on horse back looked to each other. Sarah then choose that time to saunter up to Legolas's horse. Incidentally Gimli also road on the same horse (AN: True to the book!).

"What do you say you drop the miniature and take me on that horse," Sarah said seductively. Legolas raised an eyebrow and almost pushed Gimli off the horse, but Jareth pulled Sarah away from the horse then pulled the blonde elf of the horse.

"Oof," Legolas landed on the ground.

"Mm, I though elves were graceful," Kori mumbled to Shane. Shane sighed in defeat. Maybe Aragorn would dump that other elf lady.

"I challenge you to a duel," Jareth said with confidence. Brittany clapped in delight.

"This is just like in medieval times!" she said.

"Uh, Brittany, Middle Earth has a background like in the middle ages and Jareth wears clothing like, well, a king. You need to get a brain sister," Leah shook her head.

"Fine I accept your challenge," Legolas said when he finally found his footing and stood up. Of course the short actor, um I mean, elf was not as tall as the imposing king. Who am I kidding, that line was just for the Jareth fans drooling over his picture now.

Legolas pulled out his bow and aimed an arrow at Jareth. The king yawned and pulled out a crystal. Just as the arrow was fired Jareth threw the crystal. It shattered the flimsy arrow and hit Legolas. Immediately his clothing turned into a ball dress. He screamed and ran away. Gandalf handed Aragorn a five dollar bill.

"Don't worry, it's an improvement!" Jareth called after him and turned to Sarah. She was not a happy camper. She huffed and started to walk away. Jareth's shoulders slumped.

Shane slapped him on the back. "Cheer up Jareth, you should be happy that you showed pansy bow boy who's boss," she said.

"Ok," Jareth said. "Well, we better leave," he said. Shane waved goodbye to Aragorn and the group moved to follow Sarah.

"You think we should go get Legolas?" Gimli asked the other two guys on horse. They looked from each other.

"Nah," they all three said and started off again.

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Authoress: I'm done and I've been waiting to do that to pointed eared boy for so long!

Zoe: Obviously.

Jareth: That was rather fun

Authoress: Hell Yeah!

Legolas Fans: (Holding pitchforks and torches)

Zoe: This does not look good

Jareth: Maybe we should go now, mm?

Authoress: EXIT STAGE LEFT!

All: REVIEW!!