"Do you even know how to lift a box?"

"What type of question is that? Of course I do, horse face."

"Shut up Titan boy!"

Jean's fist landed on Eren's chin, the boys looking like they were lit in fire of pure hatred for each other. Elsie leaned against the side of the stables, deciding to let this one ride out. In the day they've been here they've managed to shove each other into manure and almost stab each other with a pitch fork (well, more like Eren tried to stab Jean in the back). She thought nothing could beat Petra and Oluo but she had forgotten about these two. They were a ball of never resting teenage rage.

Mikasa walked up as Eren and Jean rolled in the dirt, hands pushing at teeth and shirts being pulled. Mikasa's steel eyes held no amusement as she easily pulled them apart, pushing them in opposite directions and not seeming to be sorry when they fell face first.

"Enough." Mikasa muttered, pulling her scarf up and looking at Elsie for direction.

She momentarily forgot that she was in charge. Elsie kicked off her post and stood in the center of the trio, arms crossed and tapping her chin in thought. The morning had been spent packing and getting the carriages ready for the expedition. The horses were cared for, the ODM tanks prepped, and all recruits were in training squads. Levi was lost in his office and Elsie hadn't seen him in hours, so she didn't plan on bugging him to ask what to do with them. He'd snap her head off and tell her to figure it out.

"Eren, go talk to Hange and see if there's anything else she needs you to do. Mikasa and Jean, come with me to do more sparring." Elsie decided. It was best to give Eren and Jean some space, they still looked ready to lunge past the women and go for each other.

Eren huffed and stomped towards the castle. Mikasa watched him go with a sad look, although the more Elsie stared at her, the more she looked permanently depressed. Jean definitely had a cocky air to him, with the way he stood straight and puffed his chest out when he walked into a room. She felt sorry for them and guilty that she had lived a better life than they ever could.

They walked to the back of the castle where Petra and Gunther were directing sparring. White shirted Scouts lounged in a loose circle, either sitting in the grass or leaning on trees, as they watched two spar. Gunther walked around them as referee, giving hints as he saw them, while Petra had a board and was crossing off names and writing notes in the margin. Elsie left Mikasa and Jean to themselves and headed to Petra's side, peeking at the bracket she created.

Her eyes lingered on Reiner's name and Jean's. Her throat dried and she swallowed thickly, stepping back and scanning the crowd for the culprit. He stood near the back, hard faced and muscle, with Bierthodlt standing next to him. They whispered as they watched, looking devious to Elsie, but normal to the rest. Reiner's eyes caught hers as they spoke and she refused to break eye contact, staring until he looked at Bierthodlt.

Her eyebrow twitched in annoyance. She didn't know what to do. She was caught in a mental battle of morals, one that didn't stop when she was asleep. Last night she had a dream of driving a sword through Reiner's chest, the blood so real that she thought it was on her hands when she woke up. Something deep inside was trying to tell Elsie that she knew what the right option was, but she was just too pussy to do it.

And she couldn't bring herself to ask Levi of it, even if she could find a way of telling him who Reiner was. She didn't want him to do it. It was her idea, it's her problem, and if she can't do this, why was she in the Scout Regiment to begin with? She glanced at Jean, knowing that he would have troubles with killing humans in the future.

Oluo, golden hair shining in the sun, came around the corner of the castle with a large grin on his face. Petra and Elsie groaned in unison.

"Hello ladies," He slid between them, trying to look regal as he peered at the new kids. Or perhaps he tried to look intimidating? "Captain Levi requested your presence, Elsie."

Elsie knew that he was enjoying that. She rolled her eyes and walked off, relieved to be away from Oluo but wanting to watch Reiner more. The castle was silent since everyone was outside and Levi's door was open for once. She poked her head around the corner first, worried that it was just a trick Oluo pulled and Levi wouldn't be there. Levi was there, sitting in his chair and talking to Eld who was on the couch. The two definitely needed sleep.

"You asked for me?" Elsie asked timidly, hating to interrupt their conversation.

The men stared at her before Eld stood and walked out, waiting for Elsie to step in before closing the door behind him. Elsie stood stock still, her eyes darting around the room with anxiety. It had been a day since she'd asked Levi about murder and she knew damn well he wasn't going to ask how her morning was going.

"You're a wreck," Levi stated. "Sit down."

"I take offense to that." Elsie muttered, gladly flopping into the couch.

"It wasn't supposed to be a compliment," He stood and walked over to her, sitting on the arm of the couch with his hands on his pocket. He stared intensely at her, making Elsie sink further into the furniture. "Having any more murderous thoughts?"

Elsie shrugged, avoiding the conversation, "Meh."

"What the fuck was that? Are you a pig?" Levi snapped, his temper short today.

"Oi, leave me alone," Elsie caught herself using the term that the squad was frequently using. "I'm handling it."

"So I can tell Erwin that you disposed of the enemy?" Levi pushed, knowing exactly how to get her to open up.

She rubbed her cheeks, wanting to go back to Oluo, "I don't know, Levi."

Levi tutted and looked away, shaking his head. Elsie knew she needed to decide, the expedition was one day away and so much hung on her. Would this solve everything? Was there any other way? No. No, there wasn't, she had seen the other way and it ended with her squad being slaughtered.

"I told you I would do it." He muttered, still looking away.

Elsie frowned, "Have you killed before, Levi?"

"Have you, Elsie?" He retorted.

She sighed and pushed her hair out of her face, "I guess, I don't know."

Titans are humans. Reiner is a Titan. Fuck.

"When you kill, you know."

Elsie hung her head, "I never thought I'd be making these decisions. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think I'm in bed at home. If someone walks down the hall I think it's my dad, isn't that silly? I miss them. I miss my home."

"You don't have to make these decisions." Levi finally looked at her, sad and lips turned down.

Elsie smiled faintly, "I'll figure it out, Levi. Don't worry."

Levi snorted and stared at her, a look of bewilderment gracing his features. She smiled under his gaze, reaching a tentative hand out to pat his knee. He raised an eyebrow, his eyes trailing to her hand that seemed to linger for too long. She pulled back, her cheeks red, and stared at the floor. She just thought she could try to comfort him but she should've known better.

"Is that what you do to make people feel better? Rub their knee like a pervert?" He teased.

She was spurred into a stuttering mess, "H-Hey! Says the old man who touched me first!"

"Old man?"

"You started it!"

"You fucking brat, who the hell are you calling old?"

"There's no one else here, so hmm, who could it be?" She taunted, tapping her chin in thought.

Levi shook his head and shoved her in the shoulder. Elsie giggled and waved him off, feeling better already. She thought she caught his lips tilting up into a smile but before it could reach it's full potential, there was a heavy knock on the door. Levi stood stiffly and opened it, stepping aside to let Erwin in. Elsie immediately hopped to her feet, saluting the Commander with pursed lips.

"Hello, Elsie," Erwin smiled, closing the door and taking a seat in the couch. Elsie tried to scoot away without being obvious. "How has your time been with Captain Levi?"

"It's been great, thank you Commander." She said, smiling.

"I'm glad to see your wounds have healed. Is there anything new to tell?" He asked casually.

Elsie stiffened and shook her head, her teeth clenched tight. Levi slid his hands into his pocket, staring at her as well.

"Very well. You may leave." Levi dismissed her.

She happily ran out of the room.

Commander Erwin gave a run down of everyone's positions for the expedition, a large map behind him and using figurines to show everyone. It was quick and easy, Elsie being told to stay with Levi Squad. Mikasa and Armin were upset they wouldn't be with Eren or each other, grumbling their way out of the dining room. Elsie stayed in her seat, watching Reiner and Bierthodlt lumber out of the room. Dinner had been served before the meeting, everyone fed and ready for bed. Tomorrow was their last day at the castle, everyone sick with nerves and ready to hide their panic from each other.

Elsie went to her room after the meeting, avoiding Petra who was gesturing to come to the sitting room. Elsie sat on her bed and watched the moon rise, listened as the castle quitted down. She cracked her knuckles and kicked her feet, her pulse racing when she thought of what was on her desk. The blade shined in the moonlight, taunting Elsie with the evil she was about to do. It didn't matter if it was Reiner; he was going to kill Levi Squad. He needed to go.

When she figured everyone was asleep, she grabbed the knife and slid it in her waist band. She left her shoes in her room, stealthily walking up the stairs to the end of the hall. To the right was his door. He was rooming with a boy named Roman, she had learned, and he was sweet enough. She hoped he slept through it.

Her pulse quickened, her hands sweating and shaking. She inhaled deeply before twisting the knob, pushing the door as slowly and gently as she could. To her relief it didn't creak and allowed for the lamp light to filter in from the hallway. She tip toed into the dark room, looking between the two beds and feeling puke rise in her throat. A fluff of blonde hair showed through the grey comforter to her right and she pulled out the knife, rubbing the handle. She held her breath as she stepped over him, her eyes wide as she softly pulled the blanket down to expose Reiner's face.

He reminded Elsie of a sleeping child. His lips were pursed but parted, whispers of air escaping. His face was relaxed, no stress lines or frown in sight. He was a person, someone's son, but tonight he was Elsie's first murder. She balked at the thought, almost talked herself out of it, but then she remembered how Petra, Gunther, Eld, and Oluo looked when they were dead. He was receiving a mercy killing.

Just count to three and do it, she thought.

Reiner looked young. How old was he?

One.

Who would find him in the morning?

Two.

Was she actually going to do it?

Three.

Elsie moved quick, pressing the knife as deep as she could into his throat before pulling up. Blood, red and hot, gushed out and his blue eyes flashed open. Horrified, he grasped at his throat as he choked on his blood. Elsie stumbled back, hurrying to close the door and run down the hall. She slid in front of Levi's office, heart racing, eyes watering, and shoved the door open. The room was empty.

Had he left with Erwin?

Elsie pushed her hair back, panting she realized, and dropped her hands. She looked down, shocked to see she still held the knife. It was tainted red, fresh and bright, and she quickly pushed it back into her waist band, not caring if blood got on her clothes. Her fingers were red and she gagged, feeling the bile come rushing up. She covered her mouth and darted down the stairs, away from rooms where people could hear. The only place she could think of was the kitchen, just around the stairs. She bolted into the warm room, grabbing the first bucket she saw and holding it to her chest as she threw up.

Elsie cried, making it harder to breathe, and threw her tears she vomited more. She was making it worse, she knew that, but she couldn't fucking believe what she had just done. She killed a man in his sleep.

Something slid along her spine. Elsie chocked and spun, smacking at whoever was touching her. She was so frazzled she didn't see the black hair or concerned grey eyes, instead she saw angry blue eyes and blood gushing at her.

"Elsie! Elsie, it's me, calm the fuck down," Levi shouted over her own screams. She blinked once, twice, three times before crying harder, impossible to talk. He grabbed her shoulders, his fingers digging into her skin. "What did you do?"

Elsie shook her head, too hysterical to speak. Levi grabbed her bloodied hands, running his fingers over the red, "Elsie... What did you do?"

"I had to! I had to!" She cried, covering her face. "I had to save them!"

Levi pulled her into his arms, crushing her in a hug. She sobbed into his chest, seeing Reiner's scared blue eyes.