The gazes were the hardest part about returning to the wall. As soon as Commander Erwin's horse had passed through the tunnel there was a hush. His face told them all they needed to know, and those who weren't accustomed to Scout missions was shocked to see the bandaged and limping soldiers, astounding whispers breaking out. Elsie had pulled her hood forward, keeping her head down and eyes on the carriage.

Thanks to giving away one of the badges - she tried not to think of who's she'd given - Elsie had prevented titans following them home. The bodies had been returned safely. Which meant... Her eyes trailed ahead to Levi, who had halted to dismount from his horse. She couldn't see his eyes, his hair covering half his face, but knew that he wasn't doing so well. She kicked Sunni and the mare lurched forward, scaring a few people near by.

Levi glanced when she jumped beside him, "Just follow the others. They'll give orders." He looked back at Noir, grabbing the reigns and beginning to walk. Elsie couldn't bring herself to reply, swallowing thickly and staying a foot behind.

She had told him to stay together. Hadn't he understood her? Elsie's eyes narrowed onto the back of his head, for once finding nothing nice to think about Levi. He had let her down most of all.

"Captain Levi!" A man came hurling out of the crowd, a letter in his hand.

"You're Petra's dad, right?" Elsie cut him off, drawing his gaze to her instead of Levi's darkening one. "I said I'd talk to you for her."

"Where is she? Is she going to the hospital? Which one, we could meet her there while Captain Levi and I discuss marriage," Levi's face lost color, refusing to look at the joyful father. "Sorry for the introduction, sir, haha you see I'm Petra's father..."

"Sir," Levi stopped walking, the horses neighing in anger. Elsie soothed them, trying not to listen but wanting to. Wishing that she could've avoided all of this. "Petra was the best soldier I had on my squad, she was a great asset to the cause. I'm sorry but she didn't survive."

"No... No... She just wrote me, I just got the letter this morning..."

"I'm sorry."

Elsie fingered the patches in her pocket wondering what Levi had intended to do with them. Would he have given it to Petra's father or would he have kept it? Elsie tugged on his sleeve, the patches easily passing palms.

Levi glanced down, barely had to look to know what they were, and grabbed the top one deftly between two fingers. He held it up to his black eyes, looking at it as if it had insulted him, before clasping it into Petra's father grasp. The two men held hands for a second, a passing of understanding for the person they were missing, before Levi pulled back and led the horse forward.

"She worshiped him, you know," The old man sniffled, fingering the bent envelope. "She wanted to be as great as him, she wanted to be there for every mission. I told her he was serious, I warned her." He covered his face.

"Petra wouldn't have settled for less, you know. Captain Levi wasn't lying, she was the best. She trained me when no one else had the patience to." Elsie felt her throat constrict but ignored the feeling, focusing on what he needed right now.

He laughed wetly, "Guess that's what happens when you have three sisters." The tears came back.

Elsie stayed with him until he felt strong enough to walk home and tell the rest of the Ral family.

They headed for the Capital. The ride was long and silent, heads bowed. Eren slept in and out of the trip, his mouth feebly trying to open and say something. Each time Mikasa leaned a little bit closer, biting her lip, hoping that he would speak. She had yet to say a word to Levi, resentment building a wall between them. He seemed to know as well, having barely shown interest in her other than telling her to stick with Eren's squad.

Because she didn't have a squad anymore. Just Levi.

The Capitol dazzled the skinny soldiers as they trooped through the streets. Elsie had never seen citizens dressed like the ones in the Capitol's streets. A woman with a large purple dress and small blue umbrella was walking by, mouth open in blatant repulsion to see their muddy boots tarnishing the white streets. Elsie scoffed, shaking her head and kicking Sunni to speed up.

Armin was who she landed closest to. They gave each other acknowledging looks before he looked over her shoulder to a man that was walking with his children, all dressed in bright, flamboyant dresses.

"It's like a whole other world." Elsie said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah. They have no idea what it's like for the rest of us," Armin was deflated. "Elsie, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Did you know Reiner was a titan?"

Elsie smiled, a small, sad one. She was relieved of being the only one to know, the only person to hold the burden of two comrades being traitors. It wasn't a victory, she now understood why Hange and Levi had reacted when they'd discovered Elsie's note. It was a sadness, that it had gotten this far and now they had to turn against someone they had once called friend.

"Yes." The word didn't burn.

Armin looked forward, "Reiner isn't coming back, is he?"

"No."

That night Elsie laid in the claw foot tub, her chin in the water and her hair floating in silky tendrils by her ears. She didn't know how long she was there for. Not until the water ran cold and her body shivers made her get out, water sloshing over the edge and wetting the plush red carpet that was there for her worn feet.

The Capitol definitely put out all the stops. She had her own personal bedroom with a closet full of gowns much like the one she'd seen the woman wear on the street. They had draped thick, white towels for her to use and a comfortable pajama set that had to be silk. Elsie ran her fingers over the pastel purple, having a full length mirror to look into while she brushed her hair out.

It had only been four months since she joined the Survey Corp and her body had drastically changed. Her stomach was toned with a six pack, her once pale skin now tan and golden, her arms buff. There was a large purple bruise on the right side of her hip from when the titan had swung her on the ODM gear and multiple cuts from the branches, some probably needing stitches. But her face had changed the most.

Her round cheeks had thinned out, her chin sharp and eyes permanently furrowed from the stress. Her hair, having been at her shoulders, was now to her mid back. She'd lost track how long it had grown since she'd put it up every day. Elsie dropped her shirt back down after her examination, walking away from her reflection to sit on the edge of the bed.

And then it was just her and her thoughts.

Elsie knew what would fix her anxiety. She had to find the kitchen. She grabbed a robe - because of course they had robes hung on the back of the bathroom door, a thin white silk one that did nothing for the chilly halls - and opened her door. She didn't have to walk very far, in fact she only made a small step out of the door way.

Because leaning against the wall opposite of her was Levi, head low and hands in his pocket. He looked at her through his hair, his eyes dark and red, obvious tension on his face. Elsie sighed, the door closing with a snap behind her.