AN: I was thinking about what Bellatrix will do for a career in my story Imprisoned in the Past. I got a suggestion from Zugrian for Bella to open her own shop to sell items she had enchanted. After a few PMs back and forth I hit upon the premise for this short one-shot.
Peverell Beach House, Cornwall, 7/31/1986, 08:59
Harry was having a wonderful morning, he had just dropped his squabbling twins off at their Aunt Narcissa's for their lessons in etiquette. Bella was running her new shop selling enchanted items with was making gold hand over fist.
Harry hadn't had time to check out the shop as he had been in Australia for the past two months but from what she had told him she sold items that the everyday witch couldn't live without.
A tapping on the window brought him from his breakfast and he quickly retrieved the paper from the owl. Harry tucked back into his breakfast before he unfurled the paper and didn't notice anything important on the front page. Turning to the Quidditch scores he saw the Wimbourne Wasps were still the favourite for the league cup this year.
It was when he glanced at an ad to the right of the Quidditch scores that he sprayed the coffee he was drinking all over the paper.
Peverell's Palace Adult Novelty Store
Come down to Knockturn Alley to browse our extensive collection of all things perverse. We carry speciality items for the neglected lady who has already given her lord an heir as well as Inflatable mistresses for the discerning pureblood lord and so much more!
Come by this Saturday for this week's special, Lady's underwear half off!
Pureblood owned and operated.
Absolutely No Returns!
Under the ad was a moving drawing of a wooden paddle animated to spank a cartoon of a witch dressed in a black leather bodysuit.
Underneath the picture was a list of items Bellatrix sold and the price for each item.
Products List
Animated parseltongue tongue- 3 sickles
Animated hand- 3 sickles
Inflatable veela- 12 sickles
Inflatable witch- 10 sickles
Inflatable Wizard- 10 sickles
Artificial Animated Appendage
Size...Price
Gnome...5 sickles
Goblin...7 sickles
Wizard...10 sickles
African Wizard...12 sickles
Centaur...1 galleon
Erumpent...10 galleons
Vibration charms 2 sickles extra!
Note: All appendages can attach to inflatable wizards!
Kinks
Enchanted fake gerbil- 3 Sickles
Enchanted fake hamster- 4 sickles
Enchanted fake ferret- 6 sickles
Edible undergarments- 7 sickles
Leatherwear- price varies
Nipple clamps- 4 sickles
Testicle clamps- 5 sickles
penis cage- 8 sickles
Rubber ball gag-1 sickle
Leather restraints- 5 sickles
Auto tying silk rope- 8 sickles
Shackles- 12 sickles
Animated French Ticklers- 2 knuts
Animated feather duster- 3 knuts
Super-swingy sexy swings-15 galleons
Auto whipping whips-9 sickles
Animated spanking paddle- 1 sickle
Trigger word animated paddle- 3 sickles
Animated spiked paddle- 5 sickles
Animated riding crop- 5 sickles
Blood quill- 10 galleons
Never-stink butt plugs- 7 sickles
Potions
Super-slippery edible lube- 2 sickles
Polyjuice potion-20 galleons
Erection elixir- 3 sickle
Male enhancement potion- 8 sickles
Stamina potion- 5 sickle
Lust potion- 6 sickles
Love potion- 12 sickles
De-ageing potion-12 sickles
Chafe-be-gone salve- 6 sickles
Hair removal potion- 4 sickles
Costumes
Hogwarts student- 1 galleon
Hogwarts professor- 1 galleon
Healer- 1 galleon
Death Eater- 1 galleon
Auror- 1 galleon
Maintenance Wizard- 1 galleon
Unspeakable- 1 galleon
Albus Dumbledore- 2 galleons
Professor McGonagall- 1 galleon
Pureblood lord- 2 galleons
Pensive- 75 galleons
Memories-12 sickles
Any other item you wish can be created on request, just contact Bellatrix Peverell at Peverell Palace.
We also buy memories for resale!
69 Spankmy Backdoor
Knockturn Alley, London
All sales are final and staff will not remove any items improperly used or lodged in body cavities!
Harry read through the ad in complete shock. Bella had completely neglected to mention she opened a sex shop!
Come to think of it he had no idea how she had gotten the ad in the paper in the first place, this must have cost a fortune.
'Whoosh'
Harry jumped when the fireplace flared green and Andromeda dragged a half-awake Tonks through the fireplace into the sitting room.
"I need you to watch her for a bit, I need to go visit my sister," Andi said as she looked through her money pouch.
"Why, Narcissa is still running her lessons?" Harry asked in confusion.
'No, my other sister. She opened a new shop and I absolutely must see it," Andi said as she made her way to the fireplace before Harry could process what was happening.
"Okay," Harry said in a dazed voice.
"Size centaur," Andi muttered excitedly before she disappeared in a flash of green light.
"What's up with her?" Harry asked his thirteen-year-old niece.
"She saw the ad for Auntie Bella's sex shop and said that she could finally try to ride the horsie, whatever that means," Tonks scowled before laying down on the couch and closing her eyes already going back to sleep.
'Bella, what have you done?' Harry thought tiredly as Tonks' snores filled the room.
69 Spankmy Backdoor, Knockturn Alley, 09:13
Andromeda arrived at her sister's shop to see it packed full of customers. As soon as she stepped in she heard her sister's voice ringing across the shop.
"Dammit Dumbledore I will not remove that enchanted gerbil," Bella screeched sounding very annoyed.
"Now be reasonable Bellatrix, it won't come back out and it... tickles," Dumbledore exclaimed hopping from foot to foot.
"You will have to wait for the enchantment to wear off, may I suggests tying a string to one of its feet next time," Bella said in a bored tone.
Andi watched Dumbledore walk away jumping every so often before the next customer stepped forward.
"Ah, Professor McGonagall what can I do for you?" Bellatrix asked.
"Two of the African magnum wizard appendages and an animated spanking paddle," Minerva said looking shiftily over her shoulders.
"Would you like a tube of our super-slippery edible lube?" Bellatrix offered.
"Yes, and a set of nipple clamps... they're for a friend," Minerva said in a cagey tone.
"Of course professor," Bellatrix said patronizingly.
Andi waited while Bella sorted out Minerva's order before stepping up to the counter.
"Andi, what can I do for you this morning?" Bella asked in amusement.
"Two centaurs-sized animated appendages and a pensieve," Andi said in a hurry.
"If you want to sell the memory of you using those, we buy memories for resale," Bella offered as she bagged up both of the eighteen-and-a-half-inch equine-shaped appendages and pulled a box containing a pensieve from under the counter.
"They're not for me," Andromeda said in amusement.
"Are they for the mudblood? *oh*" Bella squealed as a paddle flew off the shelf behind the counter and spanked her on the bum.
"What was that?" Andi asked.
"Anytime someone says mudblood *oh yes* one of my paddles spanks the offender," Bella giggled as the paddle spanked her again before it remained hovering in the air behind her bum.
"Just wait until Harry finds out he's been replaced," Andi giggled as she paid her sister.
"So who are they for?" Bella asked.
"Aunt Cassie," Andromeda lied easily.
"Good heavens," Bellatrix cackled as Andi moved out of the way for the next customer.
"Sirius, what are you doing here?" Andi exclaimed as she ran into Sirius coming from between a row of shelves carrying a cardboard box.
"Just um looking *cough* fancy seeing you here," Sirius said as he tried to shift the box he was holding behind his back.
"Is that an inflatable veela?" Andi exclaimed in condemnation.
"Um well yeah, it's modelled after a real veela, even has a spray that simulates their allure," Sirius said looking uncomfortable.
"Disgusting," Andi hissed in disdain.
"Says the lady carrying a bag of fake horse cock," Bella called from the counter making Andi flush in embarrassment.
"Excuse me I oh hello Sirius," A very uncomfortable Arcturus said as he came out between the shelves, also carrying a box with an inflatable veela.
"Uncle Arcturus!" Andi exclaimed incredulously.
"Excuse me, make way!" An older man barked as he come out of the shelves a whole stack of inflatable veela in his arms.
"Ah Mr Scamander, so good to see you again," Bella beamed as he placed his purchases on the counter
"I had better go, see you later Sirius, Uncle Arcturus," Andi said as she quickly left the store.
Andi apparated straight home, she had a date with Firenze... and Bane that absolutely couldn't wait any longer.
Peverell Palace, 69 Spankmy Backdoor, 11:29
Narcissa entered the shop to the sound of her sister arguing heatedly with a customer.
"Listen here you filthy little mudblood *oh* we do not do returns, you bought the nipple clamps and now you're stuck with them!" Bellatrix exclaimed as the animated paddle spanked her bottom.
"But I can't get theeeeem to come off," The blond woman in her thirties panted out.
"Cattermole, they come with a deactivation phrase," Bellatrix sighed.
"You meeeean this?" the woman asked as she pulled a slip of parchment from her pocket.
"Yes," Bellatrix said impatiently.
"I'm a filthy little mudblood... oh my!" Mrs Cattermole shrieked as she read from the paper only for Bella's paddle to fly over and smack her bottom quite hard.
"They finally let go," Cattermole sighed before rushing out of the shop.
"Oh no, what do you want, Umbridge?" Bella demanded when a squat woman waddled up to the counter.
"Do these blood quills come in pink?" the woman asked hopefully.
"No, nothing in this store comes in pink," Bella said irritably
"Could I request one be made in pink?" Umbridge simpered.
"No, the blood quills do not come in pink you fat toad!" Bellatrix snapped getting very annoyed.
"Very well, I'll take five of them," Umbridge scowled as Bellatrix rang her up and sent her on her way.
Narcissa fell into line behind a man with long blond hair in a similar style to her former husband, she couldn't help but overhear the conversation.
"Ah Ms Peverell, I hope you have my order ready," The man said cheerfully.
"Name?" Bellatrix asked as looked at a scroll beside the register.
"Xeno Lovegood," The man answered
"Ah yes, we have thirty-four sets of nipple clamps-
" Nargle traps dear woman," Xeno cut in.
"Three sets of full body leather suits with masks-
" Those will protect from wrackspurts," Xeno explained.
"Three ball gags-
" They complete the outfit," Xeno agreed.
"Three self-spanking spiked paddles-
"For warding off the blubbering humdingers, don't you know," Xeno grinned cheerfully.
"Six size erumpent animated male appendages with vibrational charms-
"I believe they will attract the female snorkack," Xeno beamed.
"Two wizard-sized animated male appendages with vibrational charms-
"The wife said they would help her take the edge off," Xeno said in confusion.
"And one gallon of our super-slippery edible personal lubricant," Bellatrix finished.
"I also would like six snorkack traps," Xeno requested.
"And I have already told you, this is a dignified business we do not sell snorkack traps you blithering lunatic!" Bella hissed looking left and right in embarrassment.
"Very well that will be... is that an inflatable veela?" Xeno asked in wonder.
"Oh yes, one of our best sellers, you cast the charm specified in the box and they inflate with air activating a charm that makes them quite lifelike," Bella explained.
"I'll take four, I've got just the crumple horn for them," Xeno muttered excitedly.
It took a very long time for Xeno to get his order together and carry it out of the shop, Bella breathed a sigh of relief when the door chimed "mud blood" and Xeno stepped outside his arms loaded with packages.
"I would love to see the looks he gets when he walks through Diagon Alley with that lot," Bella giggled before recognizing Narcissa.
"I see your shop is flourishing," Narcissa said as she eyed the display of appendages behind the counter.
"What can I help you with Cissa?" Bella asked.
"I want five of your inflatable wizards, can you animate them?" Narcissa asked hopefully.
"Of course, do you want the Hogwarts express package or just the classic gangbang configuration?" Bellatrix inquired.
"I believe I want to ride the choo-choo," Narcissa said after some thought.
"What size?" Bella asked indicating the display behind her.
"Do you have anything between African wizard and centaur?" Narcissa asked hopefully.
"Size Peverell," Bella said pulling out a twelve-inch appendage from under the counter.
"Yes, fit them with that!" Narcissa said at once.
"Don't tell Harry I made these, he was asleep when I made the mould," Bella giggled as she wrote down the order.
"You have my word, when will they be ready?" Narcissa demanded.
"By noon tomorrow," Bella assured her.
As Narcissa was leaving she held the door open for Molly Weasley noticing the woman had left her many many children standing in the street.
'I think my sister's shop may have turned the wizarding world into a cesspit,' Narcissa thought to herself as she stepped out of the alley.