Harm continued to hold onto A.J. for several more minutes, as he received the strength and support he desperately craved. He then felt the Admiral leading him toward the family waiting area. Just as they were about to round the corner, Harm looked up to see Dr. Abrahms walking their way. Harm stopped in place and waited for the doctor to join them. As the doctor came closer, Harm could see his pensive expression. "Doctor, how's Mac? Can I see her?"
"They're just moving her to the ICU," Dr. Abrahms sighed.
"The ICU? Why is she going to the ICU?"
"It's a precaution Harm. She's still asleep and on a ventilator…I want to…be able…to watch her more closely," the doctor replied, his gaze not fully meeting Harm's eyes.
"What aren't you telling me?" Harm demanded.
"Look, Sarah had a really rough time. We had difficulty controlling the seizures until we got her under anesthesia. Her blood pressure is still very high despite increasing amounts of magnesium and other blood pressure meds. We're going to need time before we can assess the full extent of her neuro…ah… her condition," the physician ran his fingers through his hair.
Harm continued to stare at the doctor, glare undeterred by the physician nervous stance, "Look Sir, you've always been straight with us, I don't need you to protect me now. I need to know what's going on with my wife."
"Harm I can't fully predict what might happen. Why don't we take it one step at a time and discuss the issues as they arise. There's no sense in discussing complications that might not occur."
"Again Sir, I respectfully disagree. I need to know what I'm up against. The two people that I love most in this world are in trouble and I need to know what to expect."
"Alright," Dr. Abrahms sighed and gestured toward a grouping of chairs in the waiting area. "Let's take a seat. My biggest concern regarding Sarah, at this time, is that she hasn't awakened from anesthesia. Now as I said before, that isn't necessarily concerning. She's received multiple medications that can sedate her. Her magnesium dosage has been markedly increased; she was put under general anesthesia and given anticonvulsants." At Harm's confused look, he explained, "Medications to control the seizures. Her blood pressure remains dangerously high despite the magnesium and additional anti-hypertensive meds. Normally, I would expect her to begin to wake up and respond once we reverse the anesthesia, but Sarah hasn't shown any response or attempted to breath on her own." Harm became increasingly restless as the doctor continued. "Harm, like I said I think we need to give her time before we can make any predictions. Her body's been put through a lot in the last hour. If her condition doesn't improve in the next 8-10 hours then we'll consider doing a CT scan of her head."
Harm's eyes widened as he swallowed hard, "Why would you need to perform a CT of her head?"
"Harm," the doctor sighed and shook his head.
"Please I need to know," he begged.
"Harm, with the degree of Sarah's high blood pressure…it can affect blood flow to the brain. If she doesn't wake-up soon, we need to assess for the possibility of an infarct," the doctor quietly replied.
"You mean a stroke!" Harm gaped.
"It's a possibility…a small possibility. Look, like I said; let's not borrow trouble before we know it exists. All of this is probably just a response to Sarah's illness and the medications she's received. We need to give her time to recover. Hang in there and don't give up on either of your girls, OK." The doctor smiled with encouragement and placed his hand on Harm's shoulder as he stood to leave.
Silently, the Admiral remained seated at Harm's side watching the younger man stoically stare after Dr. Abrahms' retreating form. He then leaned over and placed his arm around Harm's shoulders, "How are you doing son?"
"I don't know, Sir. I can't lose either of them; they're my life. I waited so long to get to this point. It's just not fair. Neither Mac or Sophie deserve any of this," he sighed never looking up from the floor.
"Harm, I think I need to make some phone calls. You know…let everyone know what's going on."
"Sir, I don't think I can deal with everyone tonight. I just need to concentrate on Mac and Sophie. I don't want to answer a lot of questions."
"I understand, son. Is there anyone you want me to contact?"
Harm thought a moment then nodded, "Yeah, Chaplain Turner. I think we could all use a few prayers right now."
"Alright, how about your Mom and Frank?"
"Not right now, Sir. I'll call in the morning when I have more information. I don't want to worry them, unless I have to…besides, it's too late for them to come tonight."
"OK, but if you want me to make the call just let me know. I know as a father, if Francesca was in trouble, I would want to know."
"I understand, Sir…but I just need a little time to regroup. I want to spend some time with Mac and Sophie by myself before everyone else shows up."
"Alright son, look it's 21:30 now, how about I call Bud, Harriett and Sturgis in about an hour." At Harm's panicked look, he continued, "Just to let them know what's happened. I'll tell them not to come until morning. They won't be able to see either of 'your girls'," this elicited a small smile in response from Harm, "until morning…but they can offer their prayers and support in the mean time. They'll want to know what's been going on, and you've always been there for them. They'd feel terrible if I didn't let them know."
"Sure Admiral, that'll be fine. I think I'm gonna swing by the ICU to check on Mac," Harm softly answered in response as he slowly rose from the chair and started down the hall.
As he passed the nurse's station he ran in Sally, "Captain I'm really sorry; I hope all goes well for the colonel and Sophie. Hopefully she'll be transferred from the ICU back down here in a day or two."
Harm peered back puzzled, "I thought you only took care of prenatal patients on this wing?"
"When a baby is admitted to the NICU or dies, they like to put the mother on this floor rather than postpartum." She noticed Harm's reaction to the word 'dies' and quickly continued, "That way the mother and father don't have to be exposed to families as they…celebrate…or babies crying…" she stumbled over the words. "Anyway, I hope I get to take care of the colonel again. Take care, Sir." Harm nodded his appreciation and turned to start back down the hall.
"Sir," Harm turned back toward the nurse. "Would you like me to take that?" Sally pointed toward the ice cream cup that he still held in his left hand.
Harm stared at the melted concoction and held it out to Sally. "I didn't realize I still had it…I guess it won't do Mac much good now," he sighed.
"You can get her some more in a few days when she's back down here complaining about the food again," Sally grinned.
"We'll see," he whispered skeptically and continued on down the hall.
xxxxx
22:00
Friday, May 19th, 2006
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Surgical ICU
As Harm approached the nurse's station, in the surgical ICU, he was greeted by a harried unit clerk, "May I help you, Sir."
"Yes, I'm Captain Rabb. My wife, Colonel Sarah MacKenzie-Rabb, was brought up here after her C-section. I was wondering if I could see her."
"I'm sorry, Sir…but postpartum is on the 2nd floor. If you'll excuse me; it's been a busy evening."
"Look Petty Officer, Dr. Abrahms said that my wife would be admitted to the ICU. I would really appreciate it if you could point me to her room," Harm insisted.
"Sir, we don't…."
"That's OK, Alice," an understanding nurse cut the clerk off before she further incensed the situation. "I can assist the Captain." Turning toward Harm, "Can I help you, Sir?"
"Yes thank you. As I was explaining, my wife Colonel Sarah MacKenzie-Rabb was brought up here after her C-section this evening. I haven't gotten to see her since they rushed her to the operating room…I was wondering if I could visit just for a few minutes," Harm replied. "I promise not to stay long."
"Sir, I'm Lt. Colonel Lucy Watson. I'm the charge nurse on the night shift. I believe we're just settling the colonel in and it's not visiting time just now."
"Please, I haven't gotten to see her…last time she was seizing…they pushed me out of the room," came his pleading request.
"Alright, just a minute, Sir. Let me see what I can find out," Lucy smiled reassuringly.
The nurse returned five minutes later, "This is against protocol, but if you follow me I'll let you see the colonel for a few moments." She directed the way into one of the ICU rooms.
Harm was taken aback at the sight before him. Mac was lying still in an ICU bed attached to multiple monitors. She was breathing with the assistance of a ventilator. He quietly approached and collapsed into the bedside chair overwhelmed at all the activity in the room. He carefully took her hand rubbing his thumb over the surface. "Hey Marine, how are you doing? We have a beautiful little girl…she's so small. She only weighs one pound-13 ounces, but she's a real fighter just like her mom. I got to touch her and she opened her eyes and looked at me. I can't wait for you to see her," his voice cracked as tears threatened to fall.
Lucy gently touched his arm so as not to startle, "I'm sorry, Sir…but we need to finish settling the colonel in. You can come back in 45 minutes…it'll be visitation time then," she smiled sympathetically.
Harm nodded rising from the chair. He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Mac's forehead and over each eye, before whispering, "I love you, Sarah. You need to wake up, now. Sophie and I need you…I can't do this alone. I'll be back soon, sweetheart. I'd like to see those beautiful brown eyes by then…please," he pleaded and failed to blink back the tear that escaped and fell on Mac's cheek. He gently whipped away the tear and slowly walked out of the room.
As he dejectedly walked past the nurse, he asked, "Is the chapel somewhere around here?"
"No Sir, it's on the first floor. If you take the elevator down, someone at the information desk can point you in the right direction."
Harm nodded and shuffled out of the ICU toward the bank of elevators. He decided that he needed the kind of help that could only come from above, and it was about time he started asking.
xxxxx
22:20
Friday, May 20th, 2006
Chapel
Harm entered the dimly lit quiet space and settled into the far end of one of the back pews. He bowed his head in quiet repose and began to pray. "Dear God, I need your assistance right now. My wife and daughter are critically ill and I'm not sure if either will survive the night. I'm use to pursuing the impossible and finding answers, but I don't have an answer for this. Please help them, I don't think I can make it without them and I need the patience and strength to allow the doctors and nurses to do their work. I'll love them and care for them no matter what. Please, just don't take them away."
As he continued to pray, a peaceful calm overtook him as fleeting pictures entered his mind. He saw glimpses of Sophie in the NICU, Mac smiling and holding their daughter. Milestones met: removal of the breathing tube…the head ultrasound is normal the doctor reported happily…feedings started by tube…weight over 2 pounds…first feeding from a bottle…going home. Harm shook his head as the thoughts disappeared, but the feeling of peace remained.
Harm was startled out of his musings by an elderly navy chaplain, "I'm sorry son; I didn't mean to startle you. Are you alright…can I be of any assistance?" The chaplain regarded Harm with concern, "You seem to have been deep in thought. Can I perhaps offer some support, guidance…a prayer?" The elderly gentleman looked on with concern.
"Yes Chaplain, a prayer would be most welcome. My wife and daughter are in the ICU. I was just praying myself."
"Yes I noticed when you came in awhile ago. You initially seemed distraught, but now seem… almost at peace?" the Chaplain questioned somewhat amazed. "Perhaps you found what you were looking for?" he reasoned with raised brow.
"Not yet, Sir…but somehow," Harm mused. "I think I saw glimpses of the future. Well, I don't know if it's the future, but a vision of what I'd like the future to be. I'm sorry, Sir…I'm not making any sense…it's been a really long night already," he ducked his head, face blushing feverishly.
"You never know, son…sometimes God allows us to see those glimpses of joy to get us through the nights of sorrow. Don't discount those visions yet…you just might be lucky enough to see them come true. I'll be praying for your family."
"I can only hope, Sir," Harm smiled back. He glanced down at his watch to see that he'd already been gone for 30 minutes. He needed to get back to the ICU to see Mac and then to the NICU to visit his daughter. "I appreciate your prayers, Sir. I need to get back to my family." He quickly headed for the door shaking his head. He was beginning to sound like Mac, visions indeed.