"I have to pee," Chouji cried, holding his crotch and doing a sort of bathroom dance.
"What?" Orochimaru said stupidly.
"I have to pee," The chubby little boy said through clenched teeth.
"Oh, shit," Orochimaru mumbled monotone. He had ordered the porter potties two days ago and they had not yet arrived. I am going to kill those bastards.
"Deidara, Itachi!" The snake man yelled.
"What fag?" Itachi asked. The sound ninja chose to ignore this comment and crossed his arms. "They have to pee."
"What do you want us to do about it, un?" Deidara asked so innocently, Orochimaru got extremely annoyed.
"Take them to the Akatsuki Hideout."
"You have got to be kidding," The Uchiha said flatly. "Leader will kill us."
"It's ether it's take them to the base or I'll let them piss on the floor."
Itachi considered it. This would be the perfect opportunity to escape, but then he'd have Deidara. Usually, he was Sasori's problem and Itachi had little to do with the blonde, but from what he heard, Deidara was very annoying and would not, for the love of God, shut up. Still, if he could put up with Kisame's smell he could definitely put up with twenty minutes of nonstop chatter.
"Don't even think about escaping," Orochimaru warned.
"Wha-?" Itachi couldn't hide his surprise at the warning. Could this fruity freak read minds?
"I have a small machine attached to both of your legs if you try to escape you'll get 50,000 volts."
Itachi and Deidara both took the time to look at their legs. Sure enough a small machine was duct taped to the ninja's legs.
"Don't even try to take it off, 'cause it's taped to your leg hair, and that really hurts," Orochimaru gave an evil smirk.
"Right well lets get going," Itachi muttered.
It was as painful as Itachi thought it would be. The whole way to the base Deidara refused to shut his mouth. The kids, which were Chouji, Shikamaru, Sakura, Naruto and Gaara, were near the edge of tears holding back their urine. Deidara meanwhile, talked nonstop about art, birds, and crap Itachi didn't give a shit about.
"Look, Itachi san a that cloud looks like a fish," Deidara said with a childlike wonder which Itachi was hating more and more with each second. "And that one looks like a boat."
"For the love of my sanity do you ever shut up!"
Deidara cocked his head with that retarded grin of his and asked,
"Am I bugging you Itachi san?" Itachi threw his arms in the air in exasperation.
"How does Sasori put up with you?" Itachi yelled.
"Uh, I had an accident," Gaara spoke up sheepishly. On the crotch of his pants, was a darker stain than the rest of the cloth.
"Oh, that is just perfect!" Itachi screamed, walking further away.
"I guess we'll have to pick up some pants too, un Diedara said happily.