Part 9b – Continuation of Part 9a
14:00
Saturday, May 20th, 2006
Bethesda Naval Hospital
NICU
Twenty minutes later, Harm was scrubbing in the NICU and proceeding to Sophie's room. He was met by a bubbly marine as he approached the bed. "Hello Sir, I'm Maj. Roberta Moore, but you can call me Bobbie. I'll be Sophie's primary nurse. We like to have a team of nurses assigned to a small group of patients that way you only have to get to know and trust a few of us, and we really get to know our patients and their families. Since, I'm Sophie's primary nurse, I'll try to take care of her whenever I'm on duty," the nurse said with a friendly smile. "Do you have any questions?"
Harm moved over to Sophie's bedside and sat down. He noticed the large brightly colored nametag over her bed. 'Sophie' was written in big letters with flowers and ladybugs drawn all around the outside edge of the card. Harm raised a brow and gestured, "Wow that's pretty impressive," he chuckled.
"Yes Sir, we have a grade school class that decorates the cards as a school project. It gives our little patients their own identity and the school kids get to feel like they're helping."
He reached out and stroked down Sophie's arm before taking her hand. "How's she doing today?" he quietly asked.
"She's had a good day so far. Her oxygen is down to 50 and we've been able to wean her other ventilator settings as well. We've cut the nitric oxide, the medication for the high lung blood pressure, in half since I came on shift," she cheerily noted.
Harm nodded in response, "What about her other blood pressure?"
"That's stabilized on her current medications. I don't expect we'll be able to really wean those until her lungs are more improved and she's started to wake up more."
Just then Sophie opened one drowsy eye and looked at her Daddy. "Hey princess, you're awake," he marveled. She stretched her body in response to his voice, causing the ventilator to alarm. He looked toward the nurse in panic.
"It's OK, Sir. She's fine; the ventilator was just noticing the change in pressure when she moved. The alarms on the oscillator are very sensitive; you'll get used to them," soothed the nurse.
He relaxed back into his chair and began to stroke Sophie's head. "Trying to scare your Daddy are you little one." Sophie blinked back once more before falling back to sleep. He leaned over to place a kiss on her head and whispered, "Your mommy's awake…hopefully, she'll get to come visit you tomorrow. She can hardly wait to see you. We love you princess."
"Did I hear you say that your wife's doing better," quizzed Bobbie as she adjusted Sophie's position and flushed her IV line.
Harm beamed, "Yeah, Mac's awake and they think she can probably move out of the ICU later today."
"Mac?" the nurse looked up amused.
"Yeah," he chuckled. "Colonel Sarah Rabb, that's my wife."
"Ah, why do you call her Mac?" grinned the nurse.
"It's short for her maiden name, MacKenzie. I think she used that name early on in the marines to fit in, you know, show that she could hold her own with all the jarheads," he laughed. "Anyways, when we met she introduced herself as Mac. That's how I've always known her. Sometimes she's Sarah, but mostly she's just my Mac,' he tilted his head and shrugged in explanation.
"I understand, my name's Roberta but my husband calls me Bobbie. You should see the looks he gets when he tells someone he's taking Bobbie out for dinner and dancing," she laughed. "Is Sophie your first?"
"Yeah, we didn't think we'd be able to have children. Mac worked really hard to get her here…she just has to be fine," he sobered and resumed stroking the baby's hair.
Bobbie tilted her head in inspection, "You know Sophie looks like you."
"That was the deal," he whispered thinking back to the promise made 7 years prior.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"The deal…" he cleared his voice, "…she would have my looks and Mac's brains. If she'd been a boy it was supposed to be reversed. She's just 2 years late in making her appearance."
The nurse smiled back in amusement, "You had a deal about how she was supposed to look?"
"Not about her looks…ah, never mind," he blushed.
The nurse laughed, "So how long have you and your wife been married?"
"A year today," Harm beamed. "Sophie is my best anniversary present."
"But I thought you said she was 2 years late?" Bobbie frowned.
"Ah yeah," he fidgeted. "We've had her promised for awhile."
"I see," Bobbie grinned, it was fun to see a senior officer squirm for a change. "So you and your wife have known each other for a few years then?"
"Ten years," he nodded. "We met in the rose garden. I was being awarded a DFC by the President and we were being partnered at JAG for the first time."
"You met in 'THE ROSE GARDEN'? Wow, that's a story to tell Sophie. So, you've worked together for 10 years, but have only been married for 1 year…took you a while to fall in love I guess?"
"No…" he sighed, "…we pretty much fell in love from the beginning." At the nurses confused expression, he continued, "Well, there was JAG…ah…and we really didn't admit to ourselves much less each other…ah…military protocol, it's kind of like a 500-pound gorilla in the room preventing…ah…suffice it to say I guess I was kinda…slow," he laughed while looking away.
"Yes, Sir," Bobbie snickered back. "I'm gonna run out to get Sophie's next med…I'll be right back.
"We'll be right here, won't we Sophie." He grinned at his daughter, "Sophie sometimes your Dad is a real dolt…I'm just lucky your Mommy stuck around and we finally worked things out." He shook his head and thought back to a day in early May before their wedding. He'd almost blown it again.
xxxxxxxxxx Flashback xxxxx May 6th, 2005 xxxxxxxxxx
They'd been discussing wedding arrangements over dinner when they'd gotten into an argument over the food for the reception. Things had gotten pretty heated when he threw out the statement, "Mac, why don't we just table this until some other time."
Her eyes immediately reflected pain as if he'd physically struck her, "Sure we can table it; we can table everything if you want." Tears filled her eyes, as she quickly rose to leave, grabbing her purse off the table.
He'd barely had time to register her response before she was halfway out the door. "Don't run…" he begged as he grabbed for her arm, "…please, don't run." She turned back with a look of utter despair. "Look Mac, I know we agreed to just leave the past in the past…but no matter how much we want to ignore it…one of us is eventually gonna say something that brings it back to the present. I don't want either of us to 'get slapped in the face' by some meaningless phrase thrown out in passing that is instead interpreted by our past conversations and behaviors." Taking her hand, he pulled her back inside and closed the door. "Why don't we finish dinner then I think we need to have a serious discussion about what we each thought we said versus what we each thought we heard." He hugged her tightly, "I love you."
"I love you, too," was her tearful reply.
He smiled back, "Let's eat." Just to be safe, he never released her hand during the rest of the meal.
As they were clearing the table and finishing up dishes, he walked towards his bedroom. "I'll be right back," he noted over his shoulder. Mac could hear him rummaging through his bedroom closet. When he returned several minutes later, he took her hand and lead her back up the steps to the bedroom. He gestured for her to be seated on the bed, "Make yourself comfortable."
"What are we doing in here, Harm?" she asked with a puzzled expression.
"We're gonna talk and I want you to be comfortable." He started back down the stairs, "Oh yeah, if you need to do anything or get anything I'd do it now…I'll be right back. He grinned and headed for the kitchen.
"Harm," she yelled after him, "what are you doing?"
He returned moments later with a tray of goodies. "Sustenance, Marine…Bottled water, a carafe of coffee and chocolate for you…" he held up a bowl of blue M&Ms, "…and water, nuts and fruit for me."
"Harm, exactly how long are you planning on us staying here? And, where did you get a bowl of blue M&Ms?" she smirked.
"As long as it takes…and Mattie ordered them from some internet site, something about therapy," he shrugged. He threw a couple of extra pillows toward her before asking, "Do you need anything else?" At her negative reply, he waggled his eyebrows and smiled, "OK, batten down the hatches because no one is escaping until we're done." She frowned as he disappeared under the bed, but then looked positively horrified when he reappeared with a rope.
"Harm, what's that for?"
"Reinforcements, Mac," he grinned and proceeded to tie the end to her right ankle. He stretched the other end under the bed and then tied it to his left ankle before reclining back on the bed.
"Harm, you're acting crazy!" she exclaimed with eyebrows now buried in her hairline.
"Mac, I told you we're gonna finish this discussion. Now both of us have a history of running away when things get rough…this way no one can run or hide," he reasoned.
"So, you're just going to hold me hostage until I spill!"
"That's the general idea," he smirked back. "Come on Mac, I want us to settle this…I don't want to spend the rest of my life walking on eggshells worrying about what I said or that you might leave. We settle it now…we can each ask every question that we ever wanted to ask…and we answer truthfully, no holds barred." He tentatively glanced her way. "You want to go first?" She crossed her arms and shook her head. He reached for her hand rubbing his thumb across the back, "Alright sweetheart…first, I just want to say that I love you and nothing can change that no matter what. Along those lines…" he sighed nervously, "…when did you first realize you loved me?" She glanced at him from the corner of her eye then started biting her lower lip. He squeezed her hand, "I promise to answer the same question when you're through."
She inhaled to gather her strength and then nodded, "When did I think I knew or acknowledged I knew?"
He smiled back, "It's not a legal discussion, Mac…answer whichever you want." He kissed the back of her trembling hand in a gesture meant to calm.
"Ok…well I can't say I fell in love at first sight, although you did kind of make me wonder when you stared at me like that…and there was a spark of…" she shrugged, "…electricity when you took my hand. I think in retrospect I was at least in 'serious like' with you…" she smiled, "…when we were in the desert at Red Rock Mesa. When you helped Uncle Matt and then jumped on the skid of the helicopter to rescue me, I knew then you were something special…someone I really wanted to get to know." She sighed again, "Although I didn't acknowledge it at the time, I think I fell in love with you when we went flying that first time. You looked after me when I was shot…you never left my side even though you could have gotten to safety easier without me…and you've been by my side for the most part ever since." He nodded to acknowledge the truth of her statement. She continued, "I knew for sure I loved you somewhere between the time you saved me from Coster…the first kiss we shared on docks…and the trip to Russia." By now she was firmly ensconced in the embrace of his arms.
He caressed her cheek and kissed her, before nodding with a heavy sigh, "Ok my turn…you certainly stunned me in the Rose Garden…I momentarily thought you were Diane come back to life, but as soon as you spoke and touched my hand I knew you were a very different person. She was soft-spoken, chummy…flirty…I don't know…girlish. I cared about her, but in retrospect my feelings for her never even came close to how I feel about you…I'll never feel about anyone else the way that I feel about you."
She reached up to cup his cheek and pulled him down for a kiss, "Thank you," she whispered.
He hugged her back and continued, "At first, you were so…reserved…held back…Mac, I could always win a woman over with my charm…my smile, but you didn't fall for any of it. That intrigued me…I wanted to know more about you. Then when we went flying and you got shot, I felt so guilty for getting you in that situation…I wanted to protect you and I knew I had feelings for you but I wasn't sure how to classify them." He gazed down and saw understanding in her face. "When you showed up on the dock and stopped me from taking revenge on Diane's killer…look, I know you thought I was kissing her, and in the beginning I did see her…I kissed her goodbye, but honestly a few seconds into the kiss I knew it was you…I wanted you, I was just to scared to admit it. I was afraid of those feelings…unable to deal with them at that moment, so I let you believe that I was kissing her." He turned her toward him, "Looking back now I knew I was in love with you when you followed me to Russia…no one had ever gone that far with me before…you helped me deal with my father's death. If I had just been honest with myself then we could have skipped so many of the misadventures and miscommunications that we had to go through to get to here…to get to now. But I had too many issues still unresolved…so I talked myself into believing we were only friends…best friends. My subconscious must have been working overtime though, because when I proposed the baby deal on the steps at JAG I knew I wanted the whole 'deal'…marriage, kids, house…dog," he smirked. "I just wanted to resolve the one last issue of flying before I could commit to you fully…I knew I was right once I got on the carrier, I've never missed anyone so badly in my life. The main reason I came back to JAG wasn't because my career was at JAG; it was because you were there." He fell back tiredly against the pillows at the last admission, "OK Marine, your turn to ask the next question."
She nodded, "Harm, if you came back to JAG to be with me then why didn't you say or do anything? I was excited to have you back, but you were so reserved…held back."
"I knew I had to find my footing again. The Admiral wanted me to prove myself…and you were so chummy with Brumby…I didn't know where I fit in."
"Mic and I were just colleagues back then; you know, like you and I were colleagues. There was nothing else going on."
"Mac, you and I have never been JUST colleagues…that's a bad example."
"Harm, I even came by your office to see if you wanted to do something together…but you were calling Jordan. I thought you came back for her," her voice grew softer.
"Mac, I only called Jordan because I thought you were trying to work things out with Brumby. Boy we're a pair."
"Yeah well, I made one last attempt in Sydney…but you didn't want me then either…."
"Mac, that wasn't what I said…I said I couldn't let go yet. I just wanted more time, but when I couldn't move forward on your timetable you went to Brumby."
"I didn't plan to get engaged to him. He asked me to dinner and forced the ring on me. I tried to stop him and tell him no, but he wouldn't listen. I didn't move the ring over to my left hand for months. Besides Harm, he was offering everything I wanted…a home, family, kids…everything you didn't want with me," she said dejected "If I couldn't have the person I loved most, I figured I might as well move on to someone who at least loved me."
"Mac, I did offer you all those things…what did you call the baby deal?"
"I thought you were just trying to offer me some kind of consolation prize, an olive branch of sorts, since you were leaving me to go back to flying. I wasn't sure you ever wanted to follow through on the promise…with me. When you rejected me in Sydney, I knew I was right."
"I didn't reject you, Mac…it's just that we were there on business and we weren't as close as we were before I left to fly. I told you I was only that way with you."
"Harm, you looked terrified at the very idea of being with me. You were backed up so far against that ship rail and holding on for dear life, I'm surprised you didn't jump over the side to get away from both that conversation and me. As for only being that way with me, that just confirmed by best friend/sister status…because it didn't stop you from being with Renee. You expected me to believe that you were waiting for the right time to be with me while you were involved with her…that's some leap of faith."
"Mac, I told you before that I never thought of you as my sister. I don't have a sister, but if I did the kind of thoughts that I had for you would have been illegal in all 50 states. Look, I had only gone out with Renee a couple of times and I only continued to date her because you'd moved on with Bugme," he sighed. "Can we move on from those two relationships, because that was a truly dark period of our lives that I wish neither of us had had to endure?"
"Sure Harm…" she sighed, "what else do you want to ask me?"
"Well, why did you run after Mic left? I mean I know you were upset that Renee was at my apartment that night…but I thought we were gonna work it out after I got back from the funeral?"
"Everything in my life was a mess at that point. Intellectually I knew you needed to be there for Renee, but emotionally it hurt…it was like Sydney all over again…you were turning me away. Then there were all the questions about when I was going to reschedule the wedding, why it was cancelled…about us," she looked away.
"What about us?"
"Harm, everyone could see how upset I was after you went down, they knew I located you…and then when Mic cancelled the wedding and left…well, let's just say that things were uncomfortable," she flailed her arms. "I felt like I needed to get away to find myself again."
"I can understand that, but why wouldn't you talk to me when I came to the Guadalcanal?"
"Everything was still too fresh. You came to me, but you hadn't even ended things with Renee yet…it was like she was your back-up plan if I didn't come through…that alone was wrong on so many levels. And then, when I asked you if you would give her up to have me you didn't even answer!"
"Yes I did, Mac…I said I would…you just ran out of the room before I could answer and then you wouldn't even allow us any time alone to discuss it after that."
"Harm, you had to think about it…I left because you had to think about it, like you were weighing your options…Renee vs. me. It still took you weeks to break up with Renee once you got back, which only confirmed my belief."
"I don't know what it is about 'us' that makes me an idiot, but when it comes to you, I never seem to be able to think fast enough, react fast enough…and when I do react quickly I always say the wrong thing. Mac, sometimes you need to give me time to think before I speak," he said in frustration.
She nodded, "OK, my turn…why did you make that statement to Sturgis about every man I've ever been involved with is either dead or wishes they were?" she looked away and began to twist her ring.
"Maaac, Sturgis had been riding me about our relationship…he didn't believe me when I said there wasn't one. I just threw it out there to get him off my six…I didn't really mean it."
She continued to avoid his gaze, "You know, often times the things that people throw out on a whim or when they're angry, bares some resemblance to the truth about what they really feel. I have to wonder if on some level you didn't mean it, after all you said something similar in Paraguay."
He could hear the tears in her voice. "I'm sorry Mac, like I said sometimes my mouth engages before my brain thinks. I don't think that, if I did why would I want to be with you so badly." He pulled her back into his lap and whispered into her hair, "I'm sorry I hurt you…I can't promise I won't say something stupid again, but I'm really trying to be more careful."
Mac nodded and relaxed into his embrace, "What was with Sturgis anyways? He wouldn't give it a rest…he even questioned…" she tucked her lips and dropped her head.
"Questioned what Mac?"
"He hounded me about the two of us until…" she whispered softly "…until I admitted that I was…in love with…you."
"He made you admit what?" he asked as he lifted her chin.
She cleared her throat, "That I was in love with you."
His eyes grew wide, "When did this happen?"
"When he first came to JAG. He and I were working that case involving Cmdr. Aiken, the one that I had the visions about her death, and you were investigating a mishap on the Patrick Henry." Harm nodded for her to continue. "Anyway, he kept goading me…I told him we hadn't slept together…he asked if that was the problem and insinuated if we just got it over with we could move on…" she nervously sighed, "…I told him it wouldn't work because I was in love with you."
"And he didn't tell me…Mac that was what, 3 years before we finally admitted how we felt. We could have saved…" he shook his head, "…why didn't he tell me?"
"Maybe because I threatened to inflict bodily injury to him if he let my secret slip," she chuckled. "Look Harm, I let it slip in a moment of weakness. I didn't think that you felt the same way, and I didn't want to be embarrassed again…maybe you don't understand."
"Actually I do…Mattie got me to admit the same thing last year," he grimaced back.
She shook her head, "I swear Harm…."
"I know, Mac. My turn now…Paraguay," he sighed.
"Harm, I think we should forget that time period just like we agreed to do with the Mic and Renee years."
"I don't think so, Marine…that topic is rich in misunderstanding that we need to deal with…your reaction to my comment about tabling the discussion is proof of that," he gave her an earnest gaze. "Do you need to take a little break before we start?"
"Sure, can I get you to untie me?" she asked with a chuckle.
"Not a chance sweetheart…we're in this for the long haul. Your tether…" he smirked, "…is long enough to reach the bathroom and I brought you all the chocolate you could need."
Several minutes later they had both settled back unto the bed. "Harm, what did you say was the purpose of the blue M&Ms?"
"I don't know, Mattie said they were for therapy…are they working?" he grinned grabbing a handful of her treats.
"Hey, get your own…" she frowned, "…I'm gonna need these if I'm going to make it through a discussion about the fall-out from that particular fiasco." She scooted to the other side of the bed and quietly stated, "I think it was your turn."
He nodded, "OK…Mac what happened before you left for that mission…I mean I knew it was going to be a FUBAR, Webb's missions always are…I didn't want you to go, but you just disregarded my feelings."
She played with the lid of her water bottle so she wouldn't have to meet his gaze. "We'd gotten so close in the previous year…it started slowly after the JAGATHON but I thought we were going somewhere…after Bud's accident I thought we'd finally be able to figure this thing out between us…" she peeked a glance toward him from the corner of her eye, "… but then we both reacted so badly to our chance on the bench. No, that's not true. It started even before that…when you were defending that female Commander who was accused of sexual harassment. Something about that case didn't add up…anyway when you made that comment to the effect that I'd slept my way into law school," she sighed. "Harm, if any other acquaintance had made a comment like that I would have been angry…if a close friend had said it I would have been hurt, but for you, the person I loved, to believe that about me…I was devastated. I thought you respected me more than that…then you reacted with such sarcasm to my rulings on the bench…you went behind my back to investigate the Singer situation…and I had to find that out from a NCIS officer."
He tried to take hold of her hand, but she pulled it away. "No Harm! You don't know how I felt…all of that just confirmed my fears that you thought I wasn't good enough…and then when you said that you didn't want me to go on the mission without you," she closed her eyes and nibbled on her bottom lip. "I'm a marine. I'm supposed to be trained to handle myself, but you didn't think that I could." She looked up toward the ceiling, "Of course…turns out I couldn't. You had to ride in and rescue me again."
"Mac, I never meant to suggest that you didn't earn your position in law school. You're a brilliant lawyer…I should know, I have to compete against you…and I've hired you to defend me," he joked to lighten the mood. At her response, he sobered and continued, "I'm sorry Mac. I can see how you might have taken the comment in that way, but that wasn't what I was inferring…it was a tough case and I couldn't use my client's best defense…the comment was just one of those stupid remarks made in frustration…foot in mouth again. As for my sarcasm when you were a judge…you gave back as good as you got…and I admitted later that you were good. The whole mess with Singer…I just plain screwed that one up. I should have leveled with you about Sergei, but I was embarrassed and acting in big brother mode. If I had it to do over I would've told you what was going on and asked for your help…by the time I was released from prison I just wanted to reconnect with you. The idea that you were going on a dangerous mission with Webb scared the hell out of me…not because you couldn't protect yourself, but because Webb's missions are never well planned and there's never back-up. I couldn't lose you."
"If that was the case then why were you so…so…" she sighed and swiped at a tear, "…I don't know…like I said before, you acted like you weren't even happy to see me."
"I was a military man on a mission. I knew I needed to get you and Webb out of there…and we needed to take care of the Stinger missiles," he looked at her and his bravado evaporated. "That's not true Mac. Once you left, I couldn't sleep. I kept having nightmares that you were killed, and I couldn't get anyone to give me information about where you'd gone, what you were doing. I finally convinced Catherine to put me in contact with Kershaw. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't get any more specifics except that you and Webb were in Ciudad Del Este and the CIA contact was Edward Hardy. I tried to talk the Admiral into letting me go find you, but he refused, so finally I had to resign my commission. As I left his office, the Admiral threw out some question to the fact of 'what was I going to do to keep you?' By the time I finally got to Paraguay, Hardy refused to help. If it hadn't been for Gunny I never would have found you."
He scrubbed his hand over his face, "Mac, I was so scared…I saw them shoot that couple and then lead you to that shed. I had to kill a man with my bare hands just to get to you…and when I realized that you were OK, all I wanted to do was take you in my arms. But we needed to get away, and then…" he closed his eyes and shook his head looking away, "…then I realized I was already to late. I gave up everything to find you…and you were already with Webb. Joke was on me once again…I was too slow…too late, once again. I saved you for someone else."
"Harm, I tried to tell you I wasn't with Webb, but you wouldn't listen. You just kept making those snide remarks and innuendos," she pleaded.
"Well, if you weren't with him then why were you kissing him? You two seemed pretty cozy to me," he threw back.
"Look I don't expect you to understand, but I felt guilty…we'd been captured because of me…because of my marine motto of 'leave no man behind.' Sadik had captured Gunny and I wanted to go back and rescue him. Hardy wouldn't give me any backup, so I was gonna go in alone. Clay volunteered to go along; he wouldn't have even been captured if it wasn't for me…and then he protected me by being tortured in my place…he wouldn't let them touch me. I felt so guilty listening to his screams…and then you magically appeared to save me once again," she reached for his hand this time. "I thought he was dying. I was comforting him...like I did with Dalton. I wasn't with him, Harm."
Harm pulled his hand away and stood, "Look Mac, Clay just played to your weakness. He used you…he put you in danger, and then made you think that he was protecting you. It wasn't his choice to be tortured; Sadik made that choice not Webb." He was getting angry at the situation all over again. "I gave up everything for you and you didn't care."
"In the first place, I didn't even know that you had resigned your commission until you told Clay; I thought the Admiral had authorized your absence to come to Paraguay. And then when I did find out, I asked…" she paused and bit her lip. "Why did you do it Harm? You wouldn't tell me…even when I asked you point blank. Do you remember a question…'you resign your commission and travel 5000 miles to find me and damn near get killed. Well riddle me this Flyboy, why?' Your only response was 'I think you know why.' Well, clearly I didn't know Harm…nor did I want to misinterpret another one of your cryptic statements…I did that before in Sydney and look where that got us."
He began to pace, "How could you not know? Even if I didn't say the words, how could you not know that I loved you? The actions should've been more important than the words."
"Maybe because you threatened to do it before for your father, for Sergei…heck, you even disobeyed orders to stay with Bud when he was injured. I knew that you cared about me…just like them…but I didn't even begin to fathom that you were in love me…hoped, wished, yes…but never knew." She turned away from him, drew her knees to her chest and wrapped both arms around her legs. She then softly spoke, "Harm, you say that actions speak louder than words, I agree. I deeply appreciate that you gave up the Navy for me, but the actions that I saw at that time were from a man who was argumentative and snide…you spent more time throwing a mythical wife in my face and demonstrating your displeasure with me…" she wiped at the tears streaking down her face, "…all I wanted was for you to take me in your arms and tell me you loved me…those actions I would have understood."
He paced back toward the bed and glared in her direction, "Well Mac, I wasn't the one who said NEVER."
She stood and glared right back, "No you were just the one that sucked the joy out of every situation!"
He paced away and then threw over his shoulder, "That's it I'm out of here. I don't know why I thought that this was a good idea."
"Yeah walk out of my life just like after Paraguay," she yelled. "I never said that I wanted you to stop being my friend, but you disappeared from my life without a word…a phone call. You joined the CIA…I didn't even know if you were alive…but you couldn't be bothered to pick up a phone and return one of my 17 calls just to let me know you were OK."
"You didn't understand…" he waved his hand in dismissal and rapidly walked toward the bedroom stairs. Unfortunately in his haste to get away, he'd forgot about his tether. He'd reached the 'end of his rope' both literally and figuratively and fell dead weight forward hitting the floor with a loud thud. He laid there, face down, quiet and unmoving.
"Harm!" Mac shrieked. The momentum from his fall had pulled her backward onto the bed but with the line taut she couldn't move further. "Harm are you OK…answer me…please be OK," she cried. She tried to untie the rope but couldn't loosen the knot. "Darn squids…teach them to tie knots," she mumbled between sobs. She grabbed the phone, "Hold on Sailor, I'm calling 911."
"Mac don't," came his whispered reply.
"Harm are you OK?" she begged as she dropped the handset back onto the cradle.
He remained motionless on the floor, but let out a quiet embarrassed laugh. "Yeah, I'm fine…the only thing bruised is my ego. I guess it's just desserts that I get caught in my own trap." He slowly sat up and crawled back toward the end of the bed.
Mac for her part pulled up the slack in the rope and moved to the floor at the end of the bed to meet him. They sat together dazed for several minutes before Harm started to chuckle. Mac looked at him in confusion, "What's so funny, Sailor?"
"Can you imagine the look on their faces if you'd actually called 911. How would you have explained our 'predicament'?" he gestured his eyes toward the rope.
She laughed in return, "I don't know…it would have been interesting that's for sure. The EMTs would have had a great story to tell about 2 navy lawyers tied up." She laughed harder, "Can you imagine explaining it to Cresswell?"
He pulled her into his embrace and laughed, "Luckily we won't have to."
Mac looked up into his face and her eyes widened, "I wouldn't be so sure about that, Sailor." She gently fingered the growing goose-egg on his forehead, "You're gonna have one nasty bruise and probably a black eye to match." She drew his face down and gently kissed his forehead. With lips still on his forehead, she whispered with cracking voice, "I'm so sorry, Harm. I don't ever want you to walk out of my life again."
"I don't intend to, Mac," he whispered back. He paused for a moment before continuing, "I didn't call because Beth said when I talked to you that I would know."
Mac pulled back and asked with a puzzled look, "Beth who and you would know what?"
"Beth O'Neill, she was my partner at the CIA," he explained. "And she said, once I talked to you that I would know that it was over. Mac I couldn't call…I'm sorry but I couldn't call."
She nodded in understanding. "Any more questions?" she asked as she ran her fingers through his hair.
He pulled her into his lap and nodded, "I promise not to run… why did you say NEVER."
She tried to pull away, but he held tight. "Harm, do we really want to go there again?"
"Yes, I think it's important. Please, I need to understand…you said I didn't fight you. Why would you expect me to fight when you stated your intentions?"
"She hung her head forward, playing with her ring again, "Because I fought for you."
He pulled her face back toward him, "When did you fight for me?"
"After the JAGATHON, when you said we were at the end. I suggested that we start back at the beginning. I couldn't let you go."
He nodded his head, "One more question…why did you help me get Mattie?"
She snuggled in close, "Because it was important to you, and you were important to me. When I told the judge that you were the kind of man that I would want to be the father of my children…I didn't mean the kind…I meant you were the man. But after Paraguay, I thought I lost that right…that chance."
"Never Mac," she jerked her gaze back toward him. "And that NEVER, I mean, you were always and will always be the one for me." He leaned forward and kissed her then sighed, "OK are we done now?" She nodded back with a look of complete exhaustion. He glanced quickly at his watch, "Wow, it's after midnight…what say we settle in and get some much deserved sleep."
She smiled back amused and held up her right foot. "Can you cut me loose now?"
He laughed back as he undid the knot, "I don't know Mac; I kinda like being tied to you."
xxxxxxxxxx End of Flashback xxxxxxxxxx
"Sir…Excuse me, Sir?" Harm jerked up to look at the nurse. "I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to startle you, but you've been in another world for at least 20 minutes. I just wanted to make sure you're OK," asked the amused nurse.
Harm scrubbed his hand roughly over his face and then blushed, "Yeah I'm fine. I guess I zoned out there. What time is it?"
Bobbie looked down at her watch, "About 15:30, Sir."
Harm started to stand, "I guess I better get back to the SICU to check on my wife." He leaned over and gave Sophie a kiss on the forehead, "I'll be back later, princess." He whispered quieter, "That comment about your Dad being a dolt…could you forget about that? I won't tell if you won't," he grinned into her forehead.
He stood up straight, "It was a pleasure to meet you Bobbie. I look forward to you taking good care of my little girl. I'll be back later this evening…I'm headed to the SICU to celebrate an anniversary," he waggled his eyebrows.
Bobbie looked up amazed, "Sir?"
"Later Major," he left the room chuckling, leaving a stunned Major in his wake.
Bobbie leaned over to the baby, "Ah Sophie, about your folks…"