The following week passed dreadfully fast. Elsie's sleep schedule was scattered and hopefully wished for. She'd fallen asleep in the sitting room one Tuesday with Ymir and Connie, too tired to track up the stairs after ten hours of patrol, and another at the dining table eating breakfast. Levi was no better, and often missing, but she saw the flames lit in his office and once at nine in the morning, after returning from her horribly boring patrol, she'd stopped to say hello for the first time in two days. He snored soundly across his desk, cloak pulled over his eyes to block the sunlight streaming from his curtains. She left him there and returned to their room alone, feet dragging and eyes heavy.

She told herself that their schedules didn't align with Levi now being Captain Levi. He disappeared between Erwin and Hange, and if no one spotted him in a few hours, they knew to suspect he was in the dungeon dealing with Caven. It's all she knew, along with everyone else, what Levi did. She slept alone most nights and when they did catch each other, he would stop her and ask where she was heading off to before ushering her along once more. She tried to not be annoyed that she wasn't more involved with the happenings of Caven and Shiganshina, Levi had said she would be treated like the others once she'd chosen to stay. She was left in the dark just as Eren, who unfortunately did not to take to internally pouting as Elsie had.

"I'm part of the plan, aren't I?" Eren demanded to be heard on their last Friday at the castle. "I should put in my two cents about what we do since it's my home and my titan that will be doing everything."

"You're too emotional to be involved with the planning. They take it from a view point that you wouldn't be able to consider." Elsie said. She probably shouldn't have said anything but Eren continued to ignore her.

Mikasa fidgets with her scarf as Armin agreed, "I'm sure they're talking about things no one wants to talk about. Let them make the hard decisions, Eren, you don't want that on your shoulders."

"I want to know what I'm doing now. Not five minutes before everyone is killed!"

Sasha hurried to glance around the room but they were still alone. Breakfast had been served earlier and a platter had been saved for the squad to eat before heading to bed. Elsie blamed sleep deprivation and perhaps jet lag if it could relate to this odd out of body feeling they all felt from changing their sleep schedules for their attitudes. Jean's eye twitched at conversation.

"Eren, we always figure it out. We're part of Levi's squad now, he has to tell us before anyone else what the plan is. We'll know the night before we leave, just like with the last mission." Armin soothed.

"And not even Levi's old squad knew what was going to happen and they ended up dead! No one knew because they were being sacrificed!"

"It's something we all risk when we leave the walls-" Elsie began, leaning on her palm and not expecting to be heard. Yet, this time, her words sent Eren flying with rage. He kicked the long chair back and Mikasa and Armin leaped out of the way to keep their balance.

"Shut up! You're the captain's wife, all you care about is if you two survive! I care about everyone at this table and I refuse to put them on the line like he plans to!"

Elsie shot up as well, her plate spilling on the table and Historia gasping as she tried to clean the porridge from getting on her lap. Ymir snarled and said something that neither heard.

"You say you want to know what's happening but you don't even know who makes the orders! Erwin makes every decision that happens, every life lost is on him, every soul sacrificed so that he can get you closer to Shiganshina! You can't do it on your own, you're too weak and simple minded to possibly survive out of the walls yourself! Levi's the one in charge of keeping you alive!"

Eren stood aghast across the table. Historia raised to leave and Ymir grabbed the bread bowl just as the titan boy ran across the table to tackle Elsie. She fell back into the stone floor, her vision blurring for a second, before she found sense and elbowed Eren in the face. He shifted and lost his grip on her shoulders and Elsie locked her legs around him to push with all her might. She landed on top and couldn't stop her fist from perfectly hitting him across the cheek. The fight left her with it, Eren's head snapping to the side and his eyes widening in humiliation, making Elsie realize what she'd done.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about where I came from and I'm sorry that we used to be close and you can't even bare to look at me anymore," Elsie said breathlessly, leaning back and pushing herself off him. "It breaks my heart, Eren, that I hurt you. But it's not Levi's fault for what happened in the forest and it's not his fault for what's going to happen. Erwin is commander and he makes the calls, you need to accept that and learn how to work with Levi."

Eren raised himself to sit cross legged and shakes his hair to hide his face. The others stand silently to the side, used to Eren in a fight, Jean rubbing the bruise on his hip from tripping on the stairs during a previous bickering. Elsie glanced back to see Historia and Ymir had slipped out of the room, no doubt to have alone time before the mission, and Connie is encouraging Sasha to follow.

Elsie heads to leave the messy dining hall and catch some much needed sleep but Eren called out, "Elsie, wait. I'm sorry for everything. Things will change, I promise."

She looked back, "I hope so. We are on the same squad, we're family now Eren."

"It's just...the whole world is watching and waiting for me to fail. I don't want to let anyone down."

Elsie smiled, "You never have, Eren. You've always exceeded our expectations."

She sleeps alone for half of the night until someone bangs on the door. Elsie sat up and grabbed Levi's dagger, holding it to her thigh as she crept to the door. She knew it could only be Levi or one of the leaders but it wasn't usual for this to happen. She unlatches the extra lock and opens the door, relaxing at Levi waiting in the hallway.

"Are you done for the night?" She asked hopefully, possibly planning on keeping him locked with her.

Levi heads straight for the dresser, "For a few hours, yeah. The last of the equipment will be arriving in the morning and then after that it's only packing the carriages."

"So you guys have everything planned." She grabbed the frame of the bed and leaned on it, watching his belt slip out and land on top of the dresser. His shoulders flexed and she licked her lips, sitting at the edge of the mattress.

"Yes."

She remembered when she lived in her two story house and Levi would pick her up from school. He never discussed his missions with her, always yes or no answers. Elsie rubbed her hands together and said, "Come to bed."

Something about her words made Levi turn and examine her. She doesn't feel like Elsie under his scrutiny. Perhaps he's thinking how much he missed sleeping in their bed or that on the other hand he wanted to go back to his office and be alone. She could never tell with his unreadable expression.

He closed the dresser after pulling his sweats on. He turned and walked towards her, crouching so that her gaze met his. She knew this was no friendly banter that would turn into silly kisses under the sheets. He grabbed her clenched hands and opened them, focused on the red blotches trailing along the inside of her palm and to where her fingers had held the quill, the pain a hazy memory from so long ago. Had it been four months since she'd try to write Annie's name?

"Did you take the blood from Hange?" He asked softly.

Elsie lifted her chin but kept her hands in his hold. She bravely met his eyes, relaxing when she realized this wouldn't be a fight about her returning to her world. He sounded tired, like a parent trying to explain to their kid for the hundredth time the reason they can't stay.

"My blood," She corrected. "Why did she have it?"

"You didn't ask?"

"Of course I did. But is it the truth?" Something in Elsie feels sick with Hange touching, staring, breathing near her blood. It was precious, her's alone, and not to be copied and made more of. That fake, synthetic blood would never touch her veins.

Levi sees her nose curl in disgust and cocks his head, "She was trying to copy it to make more incase you needed a blood transfusion in the future. I asked her to. It's a precaution, Elsie. If something were to happen while we were on a mission we might need more blood."

Elsie tried not to let her pout show. She's been holding it in all week. She felt ignored and little in the grand scheme of the things, once again put on the sidelines. She reminded herself that this had always been the plan for Elsie, she was never to join the military to begin with. An informant was all she would ever be.

"I don't like it." She couldn't form the words to describe the drop in her stomach at the thought of someone else looking at her blood.

Levi tugged a strand of her loose hair, "If it'll keep you alive then it's necessary. Call it a deal for staying."

He didn't have to say more. Elsie smiled small at the mention of being allowed, finally accepted, into his life and it made everything lighter. She felt she could breathe. Even with death looming over her shoulders, it meant nothing compared to being able to have her house in Karanes with Levi.

"Alright." She conceded.

Levi leaned back, "Don't tell me you poured it down the sink."

"Of course not. It's between my bras."

Levi snorts at the obviousness and had no hesitation to open the top drawer. He finds the two vials between her white bras, slender fingers gently placing the material to its rightful spot before facing her, "You're a real smart one."

"You didn't look there, did you?" She remarked, already tuning to slip under the sheets.

"Smart ass." Levi quickly strikes, his hand swatting her ass just before she squeaked and hurriedly sat on her side of the bed.

"You're just upset because I outsmarted you." Elsie nagged, kicking her legs out when he dared to crawl up the bed.

"Ha," He snorted and she knew he really hadn't tried looking for the vials. "I'll tell Hange to watch out for the new genius."

"You're right, I'm the smartest woman you know," She decided that his hand hitting her wasn't the worst thing she'd ever felt and braved kneeling, holding out her hand to invite him into her bed. He grinned and grabbed her wrist, spinning it in his hold to trace her scars with his thumb. "Maybe now you'll listen to me more."

"Probably not but you can keep talking," Levi leaned close to inhale her hair, gathering her in his arms, fully kneeling on the bed and taking control of her. She flattens against his chest, her breasts perking at the touch beneath her loose camisole, and his nose presses into her cheek. "Your voice isn't all that annoying to hear."

"What a compliment coming from the grumpiest old man I've ever met." Elsie taunted breathlessly, that weird airless feeling happening to her again whenever Levi touched her.

His hands moved fast and swatted her ass. She laughed in surprise and her hands shot to grip his shoulders, a gasp breaking from her lips.

"Now don't exaggerate about me being old, Elsie." He said her name like an omen, a deity that he couldn't get used to, and she trembled with anticipation in his arms.

Her blunt nails dug into his bare shoulder, "It's true. You're coming up on the dirty thirty, you can't claim to be a young adult anymore."

"What does that say about you? Letting an old man put his hands on you," His fingers knead the ample flesh of her ass and their groins rub enticingly together. She kisses along his chin but he does not give her the kiss she so badly craves. "Sleeping with him," His hands push upwards and leave her butt to slowly drag her shirt up her stomach. She shuddered and tried to stabilize her breathing under his touch. "Kissing him."

Elsie bites his cheek when he turned once more from her, "I have good taste."

He hummed when her lips dropped to lick at his neck, leaving her own mark. He'd left her a hickey, dark and purple and still fading on her shoulder blade, their little secret. She tried to get him back, bit hard when he suddenly grabbed her neck to force her to look at him. She didn't know how her eyes were open, her eyelids dropped low as she took him in, eyes hazy and unfocused.

Levi couldn't hold his cold facade in bed. His cheeks flushed from her attention and if she truly took the moment to focus she could feel his heart hammering. Grey eyes shone brightly, even though she could see how tired he was, sleep was the last thing in mind. He licked his lips and caught her own, keeping her prisoner until their lips were swollen and couldn't keep themselves awake.

It meant a great deal to her that Levi thought of blood transfusions in case something happened to her. Should she be concerned that he was worried she might die on the mission? That he ran every worst case scenario over in his head and the only solution he could do was have more blood made? He truly worried over her life, and Elsie wished that she could positively tell him she would make it. Although she's seen multiple versions of herself dying, it's never felt right, but then again how could she pin point which one would be her end? She knew Levi would be okay. That's all that mattered.

Levi braided her hair before they separated for the day. He woke at his ghastly four am hour and since Elsie had no patrolling for the rest of the weekend, she was added to the group meant to unload the expecting parcels. They showered separately, an easy decision since once again Levi was awake before her and was done before she'd opened her cloudy hazel eyes.

She laid in bed and did not move as he dressed. She stayed on her side, nose pressed into his pillow, until Levi had nothing left to do and sat on the bed. He pulled the blanket from her cheeks and watched her, amused at her blank stare.

"Why are you acting like a sloth?" He asked.

Elsie sighed woefully, "I punched Eren last night."

"What he'd do?"

"Just the usual emotional stuff. He's been like it all week, but he said he was going to change," She sighed and sat up. "It'd be easier to calm him down if I knew what you guys were planning."

Levi shrugged, "He'll know tonight along with everyone else. He needs to learn how to be patient."

Elsie kept her thoughts to herself and said, "Right. Patience is a virtue after all." Although she despised Levi just a tad bit for keeping it from her as well.

"Are you going to get up and face the kid? He was probably crying about it all night."

"If I have too," She drawled, kicking her legs out of bed and looking at Levi beside her with begging eyes. "Braid my hair?"

Now she stood beside Mikasa and Ymir as she unloads the crates of gas tanks. They put them from one carriage to another. It's aching and her back burns by noon but at least she's back onto her normal sleep schedule. She eats lunch like a regular person, and isn't all that shocked not to see the squad leaders, and Eren is infinitely better to be around. Not once did he ignore her when she asked for help or handed him a box, and he didn't complain about not hearing any news and Jean didn't open his mouth to give a scathing remark. All was well between the squad, even Mikasa and Elsie finding themselves in a strange conversation with Historia about childhood books they'd read.

Elsie cared for Suni before the meeting. She brushed the pinto and gave her extra sugar cubes. She would be ran hard and long this trip, Elsie wanted to prepare her but the horse only blinked slow black eyes at her and dad always said ignorance is bliss. All she wanted was to be brushed and given carrots.

Noir shook his long mane over the next stall door and Elsie took it upon herself to change his hay and make sure his hooves were cleaned. She brushed out the knots that had compacted since Levi's last ride. Noir appreciated the attention and Elsie leaves when the sun sinks beyond the walls and the owls begin to fly instead of sparrows.

"Are you ready for this?" Ymir stands at the end of the stair case, staring at the looming castle and seeming to want to be anywhere else. Oddly she was alone outside, standing to the corner as if hoping the shadows would suck her in.

Elsie shrugged and stopped as well, "I guess. What else can he say?"

"That we actually leave for Shiganshina as planned. Is it silly to admit that I prayed this would be cancelled?" Her voice is strange, warbled and stressed. It's a new look on Ymir and it wrecks Elsie's image of the impenetrable Jaw titan. "I don't want Historia going."

"It's what we signed up for, remember? She'll be okay with you at her side."

Elsie should bring up her transforming ability since the old fraud queen seemed to have forgotten. But the words soothe Ymir a tad bit better than the shadows could and she braved herself to enter with Elsie. Their hands brushed as they walked into the warm dining hall, Historia cackling as Sasha and Jean told a wild story. The tables were filled with all but Miche's squad - who had the misfortune of doing the last patrol - and none were trying to keep their conversations to themselves. People shouted over each other, leaned across to friend's tables, and Armin laughed jovially at something Alaric did. Ymir's pinky twitched and wrapped around Elsie's as they sat, finding someone who understood in the loud room, and the fear in Elsie's throat grew as the realization they only had twenty four hours left hit her. She was as scared as Ymir.

She just couldn't say it was for Historia or Levi.

Elsie said she had to go to the bathroom before Erwin arrived. Ymir's hold had left her hand sweaty and cramped when she stood, and it looked like she was going to offer to come as well, but Historia finally found an opening in Elsie's spot to slide and speak to her girlfriend.

She hurried out of the room but instead of heading up the stairs she went left. The dungeon door stood protected by Bierthodlt of all people, and he stood straight as she headed directly for him. He never looked so large and intimidating, dark eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed in disdain when she stopped. He had hoped she would keep walking and folded his bulky arms, not looking as friendly and round faced as she remembered.

"Hange told me to talk to Annie before we leave," Elsie said easily, maintaining eye contact, not fidgeting, pretending to have an order. "Can I still do that?"

She can see now his suspicion of her had never truly left. He eyed her and tried to see through and Elsie only had better intentions than he did so there was nothing to hide. He can't deny that Elsie, resident squad leader lap dog, had been allowed in the dungeon before to speak to the prisoner. He sighed dejectedly, no doubt wishing he could say no and start something, and moves to let her pass.

"Thank you." Elsie offered as a last thought, one step down and turning to catch his narrowed gaze.

Bierthodlt huffed and turned away, facing the empty hallway once more. No one else would come with Erwin's meeting happening any second. She has to hurry to return, maybe she'll catch the end of his words, but there would never be another chance to speak to Caven and Annie alone. Levi made sure Elsie's ideologies of harmony and peace stayed away from the prisoners, she understood that, but if his harsh beatings weren't getting anywhere then something else had to be done.

Annie appeared healthier in the faint candle glow. She slept soundly on the floor, her legs an equally healed stump above where her knee would be. It steamed vigorously, never ending, and reminded Elsie of a humidifier if not for the rancid smell of skin filling the cells. Caven, placed in Eren's old cell for the use of the bed, held her bloodied shirt over her nose to keep the smell at bay. Elsie stood indecisively between them, not knowing which one to speak to, not knowing what she should say and just that she needed to come.

"You're the midget's wife." Caven called to her first, drawing Elsie's misty hazel eyes toward her.

Elsie slowly wanders towards the cell. She keeps her distance, understanding Caven's cruelty and wit had drawn Kenny for a reason, "You're Kenny's lapdog."

The woman jerked upright at the mention of her captain. She tried to maintain her gruff image but she looked weak with her bandaged stomach and gaunt skin. Her cut upper lip pulled back to snarl, "How do you know him?"

"I know Kenny from way back. We all do here and I'm sure you know the reason why," Elsie's voice is stronger than how she feels. Erwin should be here, or at least Hange, for this discussion. She knew she wouldn't be able to say anything beyond Caven because she already knew. "Do you think he'll come for you? Or are you disposable now that you've been caught?"

Caven plays to Elsie's words like a fiddle. She tried to sit further up and would've strode to the cells to strangle the blonde if not for her wound. Her weak growl does nothing to deter Elsie and she quirks an eyebrow in indifference.

"You should all be planning your funerals." Caven hissed.

Elsie doesn't make it in time for Erwin's speech. She rubbed the back of her shoulders as she came upon the entrance of the dungeon, trying to catch Bierthodlt's gaze when she passed him. He resolutely focused on the hanging candle holder and Elsie had no difficulties blending with the others to head upstairs. She caught sight of Ymir's head, taller than the others, peering into the bathroom before disappearing into her room with Historia for the night.

She turned to step up the third case when a hand shot from behind and halted her. She stumbled and turned, "You could call my name, you know."

"Oi, shithead, get your ass in my office now." Levi snapped, unkind, and did not walk until she did.

He's mad and Elsie knows why. She doesn't try to act tough in the face of trouble and bowed her head in defeat, her steps sluggish compared to Levi's rapid approach to his office. All she could plan to say was that she needed to talk to Caven alone and she'd learned that they would be coming back for her. Although, she worried that when she said it Levi would already know and chew her out for not listening to orders. She wished she could've gotten Caven to talk more but as much as Levi had said, the conversation turned quickly to fuck you's and Elsie wanted to leave more than talk to the foul woman.

He doesn't slam the door behind him but it groans from how tightly he pressed it shut. Elsie instantly sat in the uncomfortable chair before his desk and buried her hands between her legs. He walked around her before settling in his own chair, leveling her with such a cold look that she felt like Eren.

"Where were you?"

Elsie swallowed nervously, "I went to talk to Caven-"

"You fucking idiot-" Levi growled, clenching the edge of his desk, half out of his seat at her easy admittance. He had already known, no doubt that ugly brute Bierthodlt had caught him in the hallway, and barely contained his rage.

"-and I know they're coming for her! I didn't say anything to her, or even feed her or change her and-"

"No fucking shit they're coming for her! Erwin told you at the fucking meeting, so you fucking went down there just to hear it from herself? Fucking ridiculous."

"I thought that maybe she would say something-"

"Oh I'm sure she would've spilled her guts if you fucking braided her hair and talked about the world's problems. You can't walk your ass down there, she's not a goddamn guest and she's alone for a fucking reason. If we needed you to talk her, we would've told you."

Elsie opened her mouth to retort and Levi's hand flashes, a lone finger silencing her, daring her too rebut. She silences and slouched in her chair, crossing her arms and blowing her cheeks out like a squirrel just to do something other than yell at him. She knew it was against orders but this is why Elsie was here to begin with - she needed to talk to them to let Erwin and the others know.

"You are not a captain nor a squad leader, and you're no damn torturer so you have no reason to be in the cells. Do you understand, Elsie?"

"Yes. Even if you're making it harder on yourselves by not letting me talk to her." Elsie huffed, not all that appeased, but having already done it so what else could he do? She tried once and the conversation had been nothing but insults. Pathetic.

Levi wouldn't be so mad if she had found something to tell him.

"You missed Erwin's meeting."

Elsie couldn't meet his eyes, found the veins on his wrist rather fascinating to stare at, "I was doing something else."

"Sneaking into places like a rat," Levi's voice had lost the anger but his lips were still tight and his knuckles turned white during their talk. "We're leaving at dawn on Monday and Squad Klaus is to stay and protect the prisoners."

"Can't wait." What could she say? Other than spitting Kenny's name out she had nothing to go off of. If only they would talk to her.

"Are you pouting because I told you off?"

"Yes. I don't like not being involved, I wish you would tell me what's going on with her. I could help, you know."

"There's nothing to help with. Her squad is buried in the forest and the Interior Police's captain is nothing more than a fat lard who can only give orders beyond his half trained men. All we can do is wait for them to attack."

"No, he's not."

Levi rubbed his eyebrow and fell back into his chair. She missed how he looked weeks ago, with no circles beneath his eyes and a clean shaven face. He'd skipped shaving this morning and she could see the dark stubble growing, her eyes following along his cheekbones to meet his dark eyes.

"I know the man, Grant Verchhall. He bribed his way up the ladder to get a comfortable position without any work."

"That's not the captain of the Interior Police," Elsie can't believe Erwin hadn't figured it out. Hadn't he investigated when he'd went to the capital? Surely somewhere it was logged that Kenny Ackerman worked for the government. "They never told anyone." She said in realization.

"That's the name Erwin got when he was in the capitol and I can't imagine he could fuck up badly enough to forget the captain of our enemy." Levi was tired and over the conversation, his voice low and slow to punctuate that it was finished.

"They never told anyone because no one would have let it happen. He's a horrible man, Levi, you know him! He's killed Military Police for years and he worked with the royal family and that's how they knew about him-"

"Stop, Elsie-" He shook his head, standing with his hand out as if it was blasphemy.

"It's him, Levi! The one from when you were a kid, who found you with your mom-"

Levi pushed out of his chair and turned to stare out the window, biting his knuckle as he stared at the limitless sky. Elsie instantly stopped speaking and half stood before sitting back down. She said she would let him deal with it however he wanted.

He said nothing and stared. He stared and stared and he didn't look like Levi. He seemed to regress into those dark years, remembering Kenny and everything they did together. Was he back in that dark wooden room, his mother's decaying body laying on the bed as all he could was stare and wait for starvation to take him? And then for this tall man in a cowboy hat to walk in and take him out of there and show him a new life, and speak to him and acknowledge him and care for him, was Levi thinking back to all the days they'd spent together?

And now they stood on opposite sides of a war.

"I'm sorry for talking to Caven." Elsie said eventually, still in her chair.

Levi sighed, "Shit always happens when you talk. We can't afford to have you injured before the mission."

She hadn't considered her throat burning or another coma when she'd walked to the dungeon. Caven knew and that was enough comfort for Elsie.

"Maybe I'm the one with a hero complex." She said dully causing Levi to chuckle.

He turned from the window and took her in, droopy and apologetic, and he sighed once more. The weight of his duty rested on him.

"I haven't seen Kenny in twenty years, the man's old but he'll still be the mad genius I remember. At least now I can expect his attacks. He's routine like that, always did things the same in every murder he committed." Levi frowned at the end of his words.

Elsie doesn't think he's unclenched his fists since they've entered the room. Deeming it calm enough to do so, Elsie finally stood and drifted to his side. She leaned on the window sill and took in the starry sky. She would open it a crack to relieve the stressed air but preferred the warm temperature to the nippy winter winds.

"He loves you, you know? In his own odd way." Elsie said and is relieved when nothing happened.

"He doesn't know what love is."

"I don't think anyone does. I still love my mom, or the memory of her. I know she probably still loves me and left for her own reasons. I just don't know them yet." Elsie shrugged and pushed back to turn around.

Levi watched her move, "Did you try finding her?"

"When I was twenty two I had just graduated college and thought it would be the right time to look. Dad said she was never close to her family and stopped talking to them after she moved out. All I had was her name, Florence Eiriks, and that she grew up in Maryland before moving to Vegas. So, I bought a ticket and flew out there and met my grandparents for the first time. They were nice but didn't offer to keep in contact, maybe they thought I would ask for money or something, and had no pictures of her and had no idea that she even had me. Or Tucker. Or married my dad. And that was enough for me. I just wanted to know but I guess she really didn't want us to find her."

Later that night, as Elsie pressed her lips tiredly against Levi's collarbone in good night before resting her head, he murmured, "One time, I went back to where she died and asked for her client list. They saved it, all two hundred odd names, and I read them all. I remember their names, and their faces, because I wanted to know which one was my father. Most of them had wives and kids and good jobs. Others lived on the street that I walked by often. I knew some of them. But I never found him. I don't know what I would've done if I had met him face to face."