Disclaimer: AAARRRRGGGGGH! I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO BOTHER!

Meanwhile, back at the Everglot mansion in the world above, Victoria was practically squishing her face up against the window to see if Victor was outside.

"Gosh dang it, Victoria!" Maudeline shrieked. "Get away from the freakin' window! Hildegard just got done cleaning the window and I don't want to pay her even more!"

Victoria walked away from the window and walked into the living room where the Everglots and Van Dorts were drinking tea. After an hour of awkward silence, Barkis Butt-Face entered the room.

"Lord Barkis, I trust the room is to your liking." Maudeline said.

"Oh, yes." The butt-chinned villain replied. "The unicorn décor is simply fabulous! But I have some dreadful news."

"What is it!" Nell Van Dort screamed and questioned at the same time. Barkis snapped his fingers and the town crier who looked like Prince Charles entered the room.

"Would you care to repeat the daily headlines?" the butt face asked. The annoying guy nodded and started screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Here ye! Here ye! Van Dort kid has been seen snogging mystery broad. They then ran away into the evening. And now for today's weather: Scattered showers…"

"SHUT UP!" Barkis shouted. He then kicked the poor town crier out of the house.

"Mystery broad?" Nell questioned. "He doesn't even know any broads besides me!"

"Or so you thought…" the butt headed villain replied.

"FETCH ME MUSKET!" Finis thundered. Emil came scurrying to him with musket in hand.

"Don't get carried away with this!" William Van Dort cried as he took the musket out of Emil's hand and put it back on the wall. "He probably had a slow news day and he made up some wacky story."

"Nevertheless!" Finis replied. "We are one groom short for the wedding tomorrow. Not to mention the financial implications…"

"Just give us some time to search for Victor. Until dawn." Nell protested.

"Have it your way…"Maudeline said. "JUST GET YOUR FISH MERCHANT BUTTS OUT THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

Meanwhile, back in the Land of the Dead, the Corpse Bride was looking for Victor.

"Oh, Viiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiictor! Where are you my darling?" she called out.

"If you ask me," a maggot that lived inside the bride's head replied. "Your boyfriend's kind of jumpy."

"He's not my boyfriend, Gosh dang it! He's my husband." She replied. She then went looking for Victor in another place. It turns out that Victor was hiding behind the statue of a horse skeleton that the dead woman was standing next to. He was then spotted by the maggot who was poking out of the Corpse Bride's eye socket.

"There he goes!" the maggot exclaimed. The bride then went in the direction that the maggot told her to go. On the way there, a barrel of hands pointed her in the direction of which Victor was running.

Victor ran and ran until he finally hid himself in a coffin and pretended to be dead. The bride went right past him. Just then, a black widow spider descended from a high place and said. "Married, huh? I'm a widow." Victor whacked the spider and went running off.

"He went that way!" the spider cried.

Victor finally reached a dead end and had no choice but to climb up it. He climbed and he climbed until he reached the top. He grabbed a hold of something until he panicked when he knew it was the dead bride's leg.

"You could've used the stairs, silly!" she said as she picked him up over the ledge and sat him on a bench. It was on a cliff that overlooked the whole land of the dead. "This view just takes my breath away." She said. "Well, if I had any!"

"I just figured out we're married." Victor said as the dead bride sat down on the bench. "And I don't even know your name."

"That's a great way to start a marriage." The maggot said sarcastically from inside her head.

"Shut up!" she exclaimed. "My name's Emily." She told Victor.

"Emily…" Victor said to himself.

"I almost forgot!" she said as she handed him a box with a bow wrapped around it. "It's a wedding present." She whispered.

Victor opened the box and found bones inside it.

"You gave me a box of bones!" he asked. "What kind of wedding present is that! I was expecting a Ben and Jerry's ice cream cake!"

"Just wait," she told him. "It gets better." Suddenly, the box started quaking and it spilled the bones out. They then formed the skeleton of a dog. The dog picked up a collar that was lying on the ground and handed it to Victor. The collar read "Scraps".

"OHMYGOD!" Victor exclaimed. "It's my old dog Scraps!"

"What a cutie!" Emily said.

"You should've seen him with fur." He replied. "Sit!" he commanded. Scraps sat down.

"Roll over!" Scraps got down on the ground and his whole lower body rolled over while his head stayed the same position.

"Do the worm!" Scraps started break dancing and was dressed in gangster clothing.

"Play dead!" Victor commanded; Scraps then cocked his head. "Sorry…"

Scraps then jumped up on the bench and started getting pampered by Victor and Emily.

"Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this." Victor said. "Then again, you'll never have to meet her." Just then, Victor got a brilliant idea. "But then again, I think you should."

"OH GOODIE!" Emily exclaimed. "Where are they buried?"

"They're still living." Victor replied.

Scraps then barked at Emily.

"What's that Scraps?" Emily asked. Scraps barked back. "Oh no, we possibly couldn't."

"What?" Victor asked.

"Elder Gutknecht…" Emily said in a creepy voice as thunder and lightning crashed in the background. Victor then screamed like a girl and wet his pants.

END OF CHAPTER! What'd you think of it? Read and review and I'll give you a cookie and pictures of Victor Van Dort for all of you fan girls out there!

Love Always,

Harry's Girl 01031992

"I've got a dwarf and I'm not afraid to use him. Now I want some questions!"

-Victor Van Dort, His Royal Sexiness!