Chapter 14: An Unexpected Sleepover
"Okay… everything should be fine now," I pant tiredly, having used up almost all of the wipes I bought to clean up all of the blood on the floor and their faces.
"We're sorry for the mess," they apologize.
"No worries. It's all good," I say.
"So can we like… g-get pictures with you and stuff?" Ram asks.
"Certainly! As long as both of you promise not to tell anyone my real name or share the pictures," I answer.
"We promise!" they say.
Just gonna zip up my jacket since I'm not wearing a shirt before they take pictures.
"Maaan, I was hoping you would forget so we could get some shirtless pics with you," Ram says.
"You're not gonna catch me slipping like that," I chuckle.
We pose together.
"Cheese!" Rom says, snapping a selfie with her phone.
After taking a couple more selfies of varying poses and positions with them, Ram whips her phone out.
"You gotta quote a line from Assault On Giant for me," Ram says, giving me her phone.
"Sure thing," I say.
For the sake of simplicity, I'll just use the main character's most iconic quote.
I clear my throat, preparing to do my impression.
"I swear on my life! No matter how long it takes! I will kill all of the Giants!" I shout, recording my voice.
"That's so cool! Thanks!" she says excitedly as I give her phone back.
"You're welcome," I smile.
"C-Could you please do one from One Date Man for me?" Rom asks.
"Of course," I say.
I kneel down, looking directly into her eyes.
"I'm just a guy who's looking for love. However, all it takes is one date and they're suddenly crazy about me. Problem is, the feelings are never mutual because of how obsessed and clingy it makes them. I need someone who can resist this cursed ability of mine and maybe just maybe I'll find true love. What? You don't believe me? Alright, let's go on a date and soon enough… you'll be swooning for me too," I say suavely.
"T-Thank you so much!" Rom blushes.
"No problem," I say.
Probably about time they returned to the basilicom.
"Hey, girls. It's been fun and all but time to go home," I say.
"Already?" Ram says, disappointed.
"Unfortunately," I say.
"Awww," Rom says.
Ram looks at Rom.
"Excuse us for a second," Ram says, grabbing Rom's hand and quickly taking her to the kitchen.
Does she have some type of scheme in her mind?
They return to me, both of them smiling.
Not sure how I feel about that.
"Can we stay with you for the night?" they question.
… W-What?
"I-I don't know about that," I say, nervously rubbing the back of my neck.
They hug my arms and force me down to my knees.
"Please?" they ask, staring into my eyes with their puppy eyes.
Must… resist… their cuteness!
"Listen, Blanc would want you two back as soon as possible and staying over is going to piss her off," I say, making an excuse.
"It's just one night," they say, eyes starting to water.
I can't do this!
"Okay! Fine! You two can stay! Just stop with the faces!" I exclaim, submitting to their tactics.
"Yay!" they cheer, tightly hugging my torso.
Why am I doing this?
I sigh, accepting that this is happening.
Blanc, if you show up, please don't kill me!
"So what would you two like for dinner?" I ask with semi fake happiness in my voice.
"Hamburg steak!" they shout enthusiastically.
"Gotta help me put my groceries up if that's what ya want. I believe that's fair," I say, smiling while patting both of their heads.
"Okay!" they grin widely.
After stocking the kitchen with the groceries, I start getting some dinner going.
Hamburg steak with caramelized onions and fries accompanied by ice cold sweet tea.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't salivating.
"Dinner's ready!" I shout, having already fixed their plates for them.
They come running into the kitchen.
Getting our plates and cups, we sit on the couch with me in between the two while we watch TV and eat.
"This is amazing," Rom says.
"So yummy," Ram says.
"Glad you like it," I say.
To think that I'm having dinner with my idol's little sisters and arguably my two biggest fans.
Linda and everyone else would fucking kill me if they knew.
"Hey, Leon," Ram says.
"Yeah?" I say.
She stabs a piece of steak with her fork and points it at me.
"Say ah," she says, trying to feed me.
"I-I'm not gonna do that," I say.
"I'll whine if you don't," she warns.
Reluctantly, I open my mouth for her.
"There ya go," she giggles, stuffing my mouth.
"Happy now?" I ask after swallowing.
"Mhmm," she says.
"Leon, now it's my turn. It's only fair," Rom says, tugging on my jacket sleeve.
Turning my head to Rom, I let her feed me a piece of steak as well.
"I'm not sure what you two got out of that," I say.
"It was just fun is all," Ram explains.
"Precisely," Rom agrees.
Sure it was just that.
Picking up my cup, I drink some tea.
"Are you… related to a woman named Linda by chance, Leon?" Ram questions, causing me to choke on my drink.
How am I supposed to answer that?!
Tell the truth or lie?
"What makes you think that?" I inquire, pulling the cup away from my lips.
"You bear a strong resemblance to her," Rom answers.
"Not to mention, no one wears that mouse jacket except her and other people who worked at ASIC," Ram points out.
Lying about myself was never really an option now, was it?
"I am Linda's twin brother. My natural hair color is green but I dyed it. As for ASIC, I used to work for them for the sake of my sister. Thanks to Arfoire's demise and ASIC's dissolution, I was able to quit without consequences and focus on doing manga. Gonna throw me in prison?" I say.
"Not in the slightest," Rom says.
"W-What?" I say, surprised.
"If we were going to do that, don'tcha think we would've done so already?" Ram asks.
"That… makes sense," I say.
"Of course it does," Rom says.
"Besides, we're friends," Ram says.
"Such sweet souls! Thank you!" I exclaim happily while throwing my arms around them and giving them a big hug.
"You're welcome, Leon!" they shout.
"Is there something else either of you would want from me?" I question.
"Can it be anything?" Ram asks.
"Nothing that I deem weird," I answer.
I can tell she's rethinking her choice so I made the smart decision to say that.
"Can I get a kiss?" she says.
"R-Ram!" Rom calls out.
"A kiss on the cheek. Get your mind outta the gutter, Rom," Ram clarifies while chuckling, tapping her left cheek.
Don't think she can really talk but that's just me.
A cheek kiss is innocent enough, I think.
"Okay," I say, agreeing to Ram's request.
"W-What?! Are you serious?!" Rom says in disbelief.
I give Ram a quick peck on the cheek, watching her face turn red.
"T-Thanks," Ram stutters.
At least her nose didn't start bleeding again.
"I assume you want the same thing?" I say, turning to Rom.
"Y-Yes please," Rom nervously replies, preemptively blushing.
Giving Rom a peck on the cheek, she lets out a small squeal.
"And I thought I would lose my cool," Ram laughs.
"S-Shut up!" Rom says.
"How about we finish dinner first?" I ask and lightly chuckle with shut eyes as they start to argue with each other again.
That went surprisingly well.
However, I did just hide the fact that Arfoire is supposedly alive as well as Magic and Brave.
If I told Rom and Ram, they would tell Blanc and she could possibly cancel her appearance at the big convention as a result which would be bad for me.
I won't say anything until I've reached my goal.
If I must, I'll deal with ASIC myself before Blanc and the others do if they dare make their presence known before I get what I want!
I may have only been a spy but all of that questing with Iffy and Marv gave me some fighting skills of my own!
Placing a gentle hand on each of their heads, they stop bickering, looking to me.
"If you tell Blanc or anyone about Ruruichi, can we agree that my background is to remain hidden?" I ask.
"Agreed!" they nod.
"If we tried to explain it to her, she would most likely go off after hearing the name ASIC and refuse to hear the rest," Ram adds.
Yeah, that sounds like a Blanc thing to do based on what I know.
"Great to hear that you agree with me! Now back to dinner," I say.
"Right!" They say, Ram starting to scarf down her food while Rom sensibly takes it at a normal speed.
Still can't believe that I'm letting these two stay the night in my apartment.
Reaching nighttime, I'm currently sprawled across the couch while the twin Candidates are taking a bath.
I'm going to be sleeping on this couch while they take my bed and that's something I'm coming to terms with at the moment.
To be frank, sleeping on a couch sucks though it's only fair in this situation.
"Leon! Could you come here?" Ram shouts.
"On my way!" I yell, getting off the couch.
Walking over to the bathroom, I carefully look inside to ensure that I can't see their naked bodies.
Seeing them sitting in the bathtub with their nudity thankfully obstructed by thick foamy bubbles, I breathe a sigh of relief and walk in.
"Something you need?" I question.
"Could you please wash our hair?" Rom asks shyly.
Seriously?
"Why do I gotta do that?" I sigh.
"Because it's no fun doing it ourselves," Ram says.
"And Blanc is the one who usually does it for us," Rom elaborates.
Basically, I'm replacing Blanc in this situation.
"I'll do it," I groan.
"Stop complaining then," Ram says.
Getting on my knees beside the bathtub, I remove my jacket and toss it aside to prevent getting it wet.
"Don't go getting another nosebleed now, Ram," I joke, chuckling.
"I-I won't! Hmph!" she says, getting huffy and pouting.
Breaking out the shampoo, I lather their hair.
"I'm not being rough, am I?" I ask as I scrub dirt from their heads.
"Not at all," Rom says.
"You're good," Ram reaffirms.
"Awesome," I say.
"Isn't this killing your knees?" she questions.
"A little but it's whatever," I answer.
"You could wash our hair without that inconvenience if you hopped into the tub with us," she suggests, trying to coax me into doing it.
"Ram, I would appreciate it if you stopped trying at least while we bathe," Rom says.
"But then it would be boring," Ram says.
"So shameless," Rom sighs, sinking to neck deep into the water.
"Think I'll pass," I decline Ram's offer.
"How about I show you a little something something to convince you?" Ram says, starting to stand up.
"H-How about let's not and say we didn't?!" I exclaim, grabbing Ram's shoulders and quickly making her sit right back down before I can see anything.
"You're no fun!" she whines.
Is Ram always this out there?
For a goddamn kid, she's strangely very vulgar.
Hopefully, it's just harmless flirting and I'm just thinking way too hard about it.
Rom is also weirdly mature as well but she's more quiet and reserved usually.
Blanc certainly deals with a handful when it comes to these two.
But I guess that's just siblings in general the more I think about it.
After successfully washing their hair, I put my jacket back on.
"We greatly appreciate it," they say.
"It was nothing major. You two are gonna be taking my bed after you get out of the bath by the way," I say.
"Alright," they say.
Leaving the bathroom, I go into my room and seal up the box with the Blanc merchandise as to avoid having those two find out and embarrass me or some shit.
With that out of the way, I return to the couch and rest my eyes.
I can hear Rom and Ram exit the bathroom, going into my bedroom.
"Leon," Ram says.
"Yeah," I say.
"Could you open your eyes?" she asks.
Opening my eyes, I see Ram, wrapped in a towel while standing outside the bedroom door.
Rom must actually be in the room.
"Still drying off?" I question.
Her cheeks flush and she nervously looks down at the floor for a moment before looking back up to me.
"Please… come here. C-Come to bed with us, Leon," she says softly, beckoning me with a finger.
I take a deep breath as I process that.
"I hope you're just messing with me," I chuckle nervously.
"I'm not. I'm being serious," she says.
So… it wasn't harmless. Fuck me!
And Rom apparently feels the same as Ram.
I'm just gonna disarm this as nicely as I can and pray that they are still fans of mine by the end of it.
"I'm extremely flattered but I'm not gonna do that," I say carefully.
"Why not?" she questions.
"Both of you are too young for that," I answer.
"We're not kids. Rom and I are adults. We have literally been alive far before you were ever born," she says.
S-SAY WHAT?!
Adults?! These two?!
"Why the hell did I have to explain nosebleeds?!" I say.
"Because we can get away with acting like kids as long as our big sister is the CPU. Being a CPU is when we become 'true' adults despite us Candidates already being actual adults in the human sense. Not a whole lot of people know a lot of things about us because it's not exactly public information," she explains.
That somehow did and didn't answer the question.
Okay… wasn't expecting that.
The things I assumed about stuff I wasn't around for or informed on are most likely wrong since I initially thought the CPU Candidates were kids and teens.
Should probably ask Linda and the others to give me the ASIC documents to help me educate myself at some point.
I no longer have an argument against Ram so time for a different plan.
"Come here, Ram," I say, still heavily processing that revelation.
Ram's behavior makes far too much sense now.
"If you're thinking about it, CPUs and Candidates can't get pregnant. Just FYI," she says, making her way up to me.
Yeah, Noire already told me that.
I pat her head.
"Get permission from Blanc first because it'd be better if she knew someone was messing around with her sisters rather than behind her back. Got that?" I say.
"Okaaay, may I get another hug at least as a substitute?" she asks.
Huh… I expected her to fight against that given her personality.
Works for me.
"Sure thing," I reply, getting off the couch and down to my knees, giving her a big hug.
"I'm sorry if I've disappointed you," I say, tenderly rubbing her back.
"It's okay. I expected something like this," she says.
"Good becau-," she suddenly kisses my lips and I pull my mouth away immediately.
Goddamn it, Ram! I trusted you!
"You did not just do that," I say in disbelief.
"But I totally just did," she giggles, smiling smugly.
"That's all you're gonna get from me," I say.
"That's completely fine with me. I got to succeed to some degree," she says.
Letting go of her, she doesn't let go of me.
"Are you really going to make us get permission from Blanc to get to you?" she gently questions.
"I am," I affirm.
"You know she's gonna say no," she points out.
"Who knows? There's a chance she'll say yes," I say.
"We know what we want, Leon," she says.
"Which is precisely why I'm asking this of you and Rom," I say.
"Fiiiine, we'll do as you ask," she says, giving up finally and freeing me from her hug.
"Glad to hear it," I say.
She ominously stares at me.
"Something the matter?" I inquire.
"You were definitely thinking about saying screw it and was gonna hop on me just now," she accuses, pointing at me.
What?! That's absurd!
"I was not! Don't go making shit up!" I shout defensively.
"You can keep telling yourself that but I know the truth," she smirks, turning her back to me and walking towards the bedroom.
"Oops," she says, taking her hands off of her towel.
Noticing her towel slipping, I rush towards her and leap, managing to catch her and tighten up the towel on her body.
Ram just refuses to quit!
"You thought you were slick. Nice try but you still failed, little lady," I snicker.
"Damn it! I really thought I had you," she pouts, going into my room and closing the door to get changed.
I could've and probably should've just outright said no but the possible consequences that came to mind should I refuse entirely were just too much to make that an option.
Probably overthinking stuff again but that beats something like Blanc castrating me with her hammer for turning down her sisters or some other bullshit akin to that.
I will keep my word should Blanc magically allow it though I do firmly believe she won't.
I can hear the two of them attempting to whisper despite being a few feet away.
"I assume your efforts were for naught?" Rom questions.
"Yeah. Leon wants us to get Blanc's permission first," Ram explains.
"That's going to be quite the interesting situation," Rom says.
"FYI, I can hear the conversation," I shout, returning to the couch once more while I hear them loudly gasp from my sudden interruption.
Man, I'm getting really tired.
After a few minutes, I begin to drift towards sleep.
It's about time this crazy day was over.
"Leon!" Rom and Ram yell, alerting me.
What is it now? I really wanna sleep.
"Yo," I yawn, walking into the bedroom.
Both of them are in my bed, sitting upright.
There's so much space left yet it's not worth it especially if Mina walked in on me sharing a bed with them.
That would land me in so much hot water!
"Can you read us one of your stories to help us sleep?" Rom asks.
"Are you kids or are you adults? Pick one already," I sigh.
"Nah, the best of both worlds is where it's at," Ram chuckles with Rom joining in.
"So what do you want me to read?" I say.
"Actually, I just said that for fun. I want… a goodnight k-kiss," Rom says.
"That's it?" I ask, walking to the right side of the bed.
"Yes," she nods.
Easy to do.
I kiss Rom's cheek.
"Good night, Rom," I say sweetly.
"G-Good night, Leon," she stammers.
"You're not gonna kiss Rom on the lips like you did me?" Ram inquires, mischievously grinning.
"Y-You kissed Ram on the lips?!" Rom says, surprised.
"Ram, you liar! You're the one who kissed me!" I refute.
"It's all the same really," Ram says.
"But it's not though," I say.
"Doesn't matter. What's fair is fair," she says.
"Yeah, whatever," I say.
"You don't have to kiss my lips, Leon," Rom says.
I give Rom a quick kiss on the lips anyway.
Taken aback, Rom immediately lays down and buries her blushing face in a pillow, going on a muffled tangent which is probably more fangirling out.
"Satisfied now, Ram?" I say.
"Very," Ram giggles.
Leaning across the bed and over an incapacitated Rom, I kiss Ram on the cheek as well.
"Good night, Ram," I say.
"Good night, Leon," she says.
Sleep awaits me now.
"Where are you going?" she questions as I leave.
"To sleep on the couch," I yawn.
She peels back the blanket and pats an open spot on the bed.
"There's plenty of space for you to sleep here too. I promise that nothing sexual will come of it," she says.
I would but I don't trust my unconscious self and for all I know, the world will conspire against me and I end up in a lewd moment upon waking up.
Not taking any chances!
"I'll be fine. Appreciate the offer though," I say.
"Suit yourself," she says.
Exiting the room, I shut the door behind me.
"He's gone now. Are you going to stop?" she says.
"I can't!" Rom cries out.
"Overreacting much?" Ram asks, annoyed.
"Maybe!" Rom shouts.
"Good grief," Ram sighs heavily.
I quietly chuckle to myself.
I think I've heard enough.
Welp, time to hit the sack.
Hopping back on the couch for hopefully the final time tonight, I quickly fall asleep.