AN: This is the end of the tale. I hope you have all enjoyed MY version of the rest of Harm and Mac's life. Despite what a few may say to the contrary, I think Harm and Mac will be blissfully happy and content. They took too long and worked too hard to get to the point of marriage for them take anything for granted. For all of you who have reviewed this story…thank you so much for the kind words, you make writing all the more enjoyable.
Part 20a of two parts
11:30
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Antepartum Unit
Harm inhaled deeply in his sleep, smiling as he detected the floral and orange scent of Mac's shampoo. He relaxed deeper into the bed, pulling Mac firmly into his embrace. The images of his dreams flitted through his mind before settling onto the image of a formal event.
It was May 18th of 2030, and the Rabb family was enjoying a double celebration. Harm watched with pride as his son led his mother to the front of church and kissed her gently on the cheek, before helping her into the designated pew. Sam made a striking image with his 6-5 height, dressed in formal Naval mess dress. He had just completed his 3rd year at the Academy and had been offered early acceptance to the University of Virginia School of Medicine in the fall of 2031. He had already decided to follow in his father's footsteps and serve in the Navy upon his graduation from the Academy.
Harm paced nervously in the church vestibule awaiting the beginning of the ceremony. He thought back over the events of the previous 2 years. He'd been asked by the new Republican President to leave his position as the JAG and join his cabinet. He received his 4th star along with his appointment to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff after the 2028 election. Mac had been offered the position of JAG, but declined it to remain the Chief Trial Judge of the Judiciary. She'd received her 2nd star, 3 years earlier. They'd both decided, that at the end of Harm's 4-year term, they'd retire to civilian life. Both hoped to spend their time enjoying hobbies, travel and hopefully just being grandparents. In Mac's stead, the Navy still managed to appoint their first female JAG. To everyone's surprise, now Admiral Tali Mayfield had been early promoted to the post. She was fulfilling her duties with honor, integrity and fortitude. Much to the SecNav's consternation, she wasn't a pushover. Harm contemplated whether his daughter might one day have the opportunity to fill the same command post; but then thought, he wasn't sure he'd want his little girl to have to deal with the likes of a Secretary of the Navy. The world was an ever-changing place after all.
Sophie, his thoughts wandered to his firstborn. She had graduated from the Academy in 2028, and as promised, joined the Marine Corp. like her mother. She had just completed her 2nd year of law school at the University of Virginia, and was promised a position in the JAG Corp. upon her completion. Her soon to be husband had also graduated from the Academy, and was currently a fighter pilot in the Navy. Harm shook his head and smiled; there was still a member of the Rabb family flying jets. He just hoped, the fact that said family member wasn't a blood relative, meant the Rabb curse for crashing planes ended with him. Sophie and her fiancé had approached he and Mac, with a simple request. The promised pair had wanted to be married on Harm and Mac's 25th Wedding Anniversary; but since that day fell on a Monday, the wish was not to be. In compromise, it was decided that Sophie should be married in a formal evening wedding, on Saturday, May 18th with the understanding that her parents would join in the celebration. Harm and Mac had balked at the idea of impinging on their daughter's special day, but Sophie refused to be wed unless her parents also celebrated their anniversary. So this 18th day of May, in the year of 2030, was to see two Rabb celebrations: the first, the beginning of a new union with future and promise, and the second, a more mature union still blessed with love for eternity.
Harm glanced up at the noise of a rustling gown, before him stood a vision of beauty in the form of his daughter. Sophie had always been tall, elegant and beautiful; but tonight, she took his breath away. She was dressed in a gown of cream silk. The bodice was beaded with pearls and dipped in the front to set off the pearl choker around her neck; the back dipped further still and was lined in small satin buttons at the midline. The skirt was form-fitting at the waist but flared as it descended to the floor. The train attached to the back waistline in a series of tiny tucks and pleats. The hem of the skirt and train were edged in imported lace and beaded with pearls. She wore a pearl choker with a filigreed diamond locket suspended from the center; her ears were adorned with a similar pearl and diamond design. The jewelry had been an heirloom passed on to Sophie from her Gummy Trish at her death. Sophie's hair was pinned to the crown of her head in a series of curls that then cascaded to the nape of her neck. Her veil was attached to a ring of flowers that intermingled with the dark curls of her hair. In her hand, she clutched a cascade of cream-colored roses. Sophie had insisted on roses, for the wedding floral theme, in honor of her parents' first meeting and the beginnings of the Rabb Family story.
He approached his daughter, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. He leaned in to place a kiss on her cheek and whispered, "You look absolutely beautiful, princess." He extended his right arm and she placed her hand through the bend of his elbow. He winked once and smiled, "Are you ready for this?" She smiled back, fighting tears of her own, and nodded in affirmation. As the doors were opened, the music of Pachelbel's, Kanon in D, rang from the chimes of the organ, filling the sanctuary with its elegant refrain. He took a deep breath and stepped forward, guiding his daughter in the processional that would begin her new life. As he gazed forward to the front of the sanctuary, he looked into the deep blue eyes of the man who had loved his little girl almost as long as he had. Charlie still wore that same amazed look of awe, admiration and love that he had that very first Christmas Day so long ago. Harm couldn't have asked for a more perfect man to entrust with one of his greatest treasures.
The wedding and anniversary reception was held at the National Botanical Gardens just as Harm and Mac's had been 25 years prior. The bridal couple and her family waltzed through all the obligatory dances, toasted and cut the cake, and accepted congratulations from all the well wishers in attendance. Finally, as the night grew to a close, the orchestra played one last song. As the first notes filled the room, Harm approached his wife and extended his hand. "Dance with me?" A radiant smile graced her face, as she nodded to her eternal love. He pulled her into his arms and began to softly sing the words. He had picked the song because he thought the sentiment described their love. The words of each verse read like an academic discussion of the conventionally held views of love: flowers, candy and the like. But the refrains, those were the words and music of two lovers in conversation and dance: emotional, intimate and caring.
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
xxxXXXXxxx
But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything
xxxXXXXxxx
The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
He pulled her closer into his embrace and settled their joined hands over his heart. He softened the tone of voice and sang the words into her ear with the conviction and emotions of a deeply held prayer.
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything
xxxXXXXxxx
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
As he guided her around the dance floor, the noise of the room stilled, except for the beautiful notes of the orchestra's refrain. He gentled his words further and with the slightest of movement signaled his daughter to approach.
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
As the final notes and words of the last refrain came to a close, he twirled her away from his embrace and paused briefly to accept a perfect red rose from his daughter. As he gathered his wife back into his arms, her back to his chest, he placed the rose into her fingers. When she had accepted the delicate flower, he reached into its center and withdrew a golden eternity ring, encrusted in diamonds from front to back, in an unending circle. Placing the ring on her finger, he sang the last words of the refrain, altering their text.
I love to give you things
And I
I ought to give you wedding rings
I ought to give you wedding rings
The final notes dying into the quiet of the night, he pulled her to him and whispering, "I love you, Sarah," placed a kiss upon her lips. When the quietness of the room was interrupted by the applause of their friends, they ended the kiss but remained in a tight embrace. He leaned into her ear and whispered, "The inscription inside the band says 'Love For All Eternity' with the initials H and S intertwined. Thank you for giving me a second chance at eternity." He pulled back to wipe the tears from her eyes and led her out to the balcony away from prying eyes.
As they existed the door, Sophie handed her mother a beautifully wrapped gift. Walking onto the balcony, they breathed in the cool night air and smiled at the familiar scent of roses. They closed their eyes and reveled in the closeness of each other's embrace. After several moments of silence, she ran her hand up his chest and around his neck to get his attention. When he opened his eyes, she extended the gift, "I have something for you as well. I love you, Sailor." He removed the intricate wrappings and opened the box to reveal a gold Rolex watch, with diamonds inset at the four corners, marking the hours. She explained, "It's an automatic watch. It will run for eternity as long as you wear it." She smiled and turned the watch over to reveal its inscription. The engraved words encircled the watch in an unending circle, 'Harm, Thank You For Giving Me Eternity, Love Forever, Sarah'. The 'H' of Harm and the 'h' of Sarah were intertwined in an intimate embrace of sorts. Tears welled in his eyes as he pulled her close and whispered, "Thank you." She whispered back, "It's like our love, eternal. Once we leave this earth, our love will live on in our children. I thought you could pass the watch on to Sam, so that our eternity never has to end."
xxxxx
His dreams moved forward in rapid flashes with fleeting images, but little detail. He saw graduations, another wedding ceremony and births…giggling grandchildren and love, always a deep sense of love and happiness…and contentment.
The final scene came on a fall evening in October of 2046. Harm wandered in through the back door of their small cottage style home. With advancing age, the upkeep of their large 2-story house became increasingly difficult. As Mac's health problems became more severe, it was impossible for her to climb the stairs to their bedroom. Since sleeping apart was not an option either would entertain, they'd made the decision to sell the home that they'd owned for over 30 years. They had been lucky to happen upon the cottage that was now their peaceful abode. Although the house was small, it sat on a beautiful property overlooking a lake. There were gardens that encircled the structure and extended throughout the backyard. They'd spent many evenings together on the back deck just watching the beautiful sunsets over the sparking still water.
As he approached the bedroom, Margaret, the private duty nurse, who had been hired to assist with Mac's care, intercepted him before his final destination. "Sir, could I speak with you for a moment?" He nodded his assent with a smile. Margaret had been a godsend. She was patient and caring, never complaining about the odd extended hours or the meddling interference from family members. She motioned toward the front room, "Perhaps we could sit down and talk in the living room."
Harm felt a sense of dread arise, to form a tight restrictive band around his chest, breathing became almost impossible. He nodded once more, unable to speak. He slowly led the way into the room that was growing dark in the shadows of the evening light. He closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the sense of foreboding, evoked by the darkness. Mac had loved this room. It was bathed in early morning sunlight. She'd commented as such, when they'd first toured the house, the light at sunrise warmed her spirits and drove away the chill that seemed a constant companion to her old bones.
As they sat together on the couch, the nurse turned to him with sorrow in her eyes. She'd been down this road before; it was never easy to let go of someone you loved. This kindly old couple had touched her heart; they were still so connected, so young at heart at heart…so much in love. She gave a slight smile and began to speak, "Admiral Rabb, the General's having a much harder time breathing. She's in constant discomfort," she paused to strength her resolve then continued on in a sympathetic voice. "Sir, I think she holding on for you…she's waiting for you to give her permission to let go. She needs to know that you're going to be OK."
His eyes widened, immediately glazed with tears, "But I don't understand, she seemed so much more alert today. I mean, she visited with Sophie and Sam and all the grandchildren," he begged her understanding.
Margaret bowed her head slightly, avoiding his sad eyes, "I know, Sir. She wouldn't take her morphine, today. She wanted to be alert," she looked up again to make sure he grasped the significance, "…to say, goodbye." She watched as the first of the tears slid down his cheek. She reached out to take his hand, "She needs you to tell her, it's OK."
He closed his eyes, unable to stop the tears, "I don't think I can do that…I can't let her go."
Margaret squeezed his hand, "I know it's hard…but it's the most loving and caring thing, you can do for her. She wants you to be there…with her, just the two of you…she's already said her goodbyes to the children." She paused a moment, "I can stay through the night, if you'd like?"
He shook his head and whispered, "No…we'll be fine. Please, go home to your family."
She nodded back, "Yes, Sir. Can I get either of you anything before I leave?" He shook his head again, but was unable to vocalize the words. Margaret stood and leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek, "It's been a pleasure taking care of Sarah and all of your family. I'll be by in the morning, Sir. Please, call me if…if, you need anything. I'll be home all night." She placed one last kiss on his cheek, and gathering her coat and supplies, headed out the door.
He sat in the dark room, alone with his thoughts. All of Mac's requests, over the course of the day, made sense now. He'd thought it odd that she was so awake. She'd spent the morning visiting with their children and grandchildren. She hadn't had the strength to accomplish that feat in weeks. Then this afternoon, she'd asked him to tell her the story of 'US' from the rose garden, to their marriage, to the birth of their children, and through all of their lives right to the present. When she closed her eyes, he thought she'd fallen asleep, but each time he stopped telling the story…she would open her beautiful brown eyes, and beg him to continue. They'd finally both fallen asleep exhausted at the end of the tale.
He closed his eyes tightly, as the tears continued to fall, how could he let her go. She was as much a part of him, as his own soul. He sat quietly for a long period of time, trying to collect himself, then rose slowly from the couch and dragged his feet down the hall. Pausing again, to place a smile on his face, he slowly opened the door and was immediately met by the sound of her labored breathing. He quietly approached the bed and leaned over to place a kiss on her cheek. She opened her eyes and graced him with a beautiful smile. He returned the smile, "Hey sweetheart, can I get you anything?"
She gave a barely perceivable shake of her head, "No…come…sit with…me." She closed her eyes again, exhausted by the effort.
"I'm coming sweetheart, just let me turn off some of these lights." He turned off each light in the room, leaving only the dim bedside lamp for illumination. Crawling into bed beside her, he pulled her into his arms, with her head resting on his shoulder. They lay quietly for several minutes; both afraid to voice the words, each knew needed to be spoken. The only noise in the room came from the bubbling of the oxygen and her labored gasps.
Finally she opened her eyes, "Harm, I…"
He interrupted her with a soft whisper, "I know, sweetheart. I talked to Margaret, tonight. She told me you wouldn't take your pain meds today." He paused to withdraw a shaky breath, "It's been an amazing journey…thank you for giving me 50 wonderful years."
She looked up into his eyes, "Know I've…been…out…of it…but…only…married 41 years…Sailor."
He smiled then closed his eyes as the tears once again began to fall. "You're right about that, but we met 50 years ago in a rose garden…don't tell me you forgot."
She reached up to his face to wipe away a tear, "Could…never forget…best…day…of…my life. Love…you…forever."
He turned his face to kiss her palm, "Best day of my life, too. Who would have thought, that that first electrical spark of a handshake in a rose garden, would have a led to the most extraordinary journey of love. Thank you for each and every moment. I promise I love you more now than the day that we met and everyday in between." He looked away for a moment to catch his breath, then gazed into her eyes with absolute devotion, "Sweetheart, I know you've tried to keep going for me and the kids…but it's OK to let go…the kids will be fine. They'll miss you, but we raised them to be strong. You're such a huge part of who they are…you'll always be with them, by their side…in their thoughts and dreams…and love." He had to stop speaking to blink back tears, "It's OK to let go…I love you."
She closed her eyes to gain strength, "Promise me…you'll…be OK…too." He looked away lest he reveal his thoughts. "Harm?"
He looked back, "I can't…I can't make that promise. You're the other half of my soul…I can't promise to live without that half."
"Harm…the kids…need…"
He shook his head and looked deeply into her eyes, "I can't…I won't make a promise, I can't keep. Please, Sarah…don't make me."
She placed her finger against his lips to quiet his pleas, "Recite…poetry…for me…please."
He nodded his head and took a deep breath, "Yes…just give me a minute to collect myself." He leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead and then began recite.
She looked up, "You…never…did…that one…before."
He kissed her again, "I never thought I could make the words express just how much I love you." He inhaled a deep breath, "But I think I can now…especially now."
She smiled with tears in her eyes, "Thank you…for my…eternity. I…love…you…Sailor."
He closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you too, Marine," and then he began to recite.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seem to lose
With my lost saints, --I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --and if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
As he spoke the last word, she exhaled her final breath. He placed one final kiss upon her lips then pulled her tightly into his embrace. He repeated over and over, "I love you, Sarah…I love you, Sarah…." As he continued to cry, he inhaled deeply at the crushing pain in his chest. His eyes grew wide, was this what losing the other half of your soul…your heart, felt like? He held onto her body and concentrated on breathing deeply. Finally, after several minutes, he rose from the bed and began to gather his supplies, the box, some stationery and an envelope.
xx
Early the following morning, Sophie let herself into her parent's home. She noticed that the house remained dark and quiet. Despite the early hour, her father was usually up and about, attending to her mother's needs. She softly called out, "Mom, Dad…where is everyone?" Receiving no reply, she went in search of her father. Perhaps, he was outside…she wandered through the kitchen and out onto the back deck, calling his name, "Dad…Dad…it's Sophie. Are you out here?" Again receiving no response, she reentered the house and walked toward the bedroom. The door remained closed with only the faintest of light visible under the threshold. As she reached for the handle, she felt a deep sense of sadness. Pushing open the door, the first thing to hit her senses, was the quiet…absolute quiet. She stilled her movement listening for her mother's raspy breathing or the bubbling of the oxygen…it was so quiet, peaceful even. She walked toward the bed and saw her parents intertwined in each other's arms, locked in an embrace. She approached tentatively, noticing the lack of movement…any movement. They were so still and quiet. She reached out to gently touch first one cheek and then the other. Closing her eyes to stem the tears, she moved away from the bed. Placing a hand over her mouth to stifle a soft cry, she turned to leave the room.
As she walked back through the living room, to gain some composure before calling Charlie and Sam, her eyes fell upon a letter addressed to her. The envelope rested a top a large gift wrapped box. Reaching out with trembling fingers, she retrieved the note and brought it to her face. Inhaling the scent, she closed her eyes, relishing in all of the fleeting memories evoked by the familiar fragrance of her father's cologne. She opened the letter in the dim morning light and began to read.
My Darling Daughter,
If you are reading this letter, then you have discovered that your mother and I have passed on. We did so peacefully and in each other's arms. Margaret spoke with me last evening. Seems your mother knew her time was at hand, she had asked Margaret not to give her any medication yesterday. She wanted to be alert to visit with you and Sam and our beautiful grandchildren, one last time. The two of us spent yesterday afternoon reminiscing about our wonderful 50 years together. Last night, after saying our goodbyes, I kissed her one last time, before she peacefully passed away. She tried to make me promise to go on without her. I told her I couldn't promise to go on with only half a soul. You see, she is the other half of me.
Before you worry that I did something to myself. I could never do that to you and Sam. However, at the moment of your mother's death, I experienced a deep weight of pain in my chest. I don't know how to explain it, except poetically…a broken heart, perhaps…or loss of half my soul. I once told your mother that we were one soul united in two hearts, and I am convinced you cannot survive with only half a soul. So my princess, I composed this letter with the thought; if I did not awaken from my sleep, you would know what happened. And also know, that your mother and I are together for all eternity…as we always planned.
With this letter, you will find a box. Enclosed in the box are several things for you and Sam. First, my darling, you will find a series of 5 leather bound journals. Your mother and I started the tradition when you were born. We both went back and composed a journal for the first 10 years of our relationship, so that you could fully understand the depth of our devotion and love. I won't pretend that this first journal is entirely accurate, since it was written retrospectively and through eyes clouded with love. The remaining journals were written as our life unfolded and gives you an idea, both from your mother's and my perspective, of the love and happiness we enjoyed.
Also included in the box, are two smaller gifts. The first is for you my daughter. Your mother wanted you to have her charm bracelet, so you could have a piece of all the momentous occasions in our life. You see…the bracelet was started at your birth. The very first charm was a small shoe in honor of our first greatest treasure. The second gift is for Sam. Your mother gave me a watch for our 25th Wedding Anniversary. It will run for all eternity, as long it is worn. Your Mother told me, it was like our love…eternal. As long as you or Sam or any one of our grandchildren and great grandchildren are alive, our love lives on for all eternity.
My Dearest Sophie, I can only wish for you and Charlie all the love and happiness that your Mother and I had the honored pleasure of being granted. Hold on to those you love, they are your greatest treasure and crowing achievement.
Love For All Eternity,
Dad
She wiped the tears from her eyes and set the letter aside. Reaching for the large box, she carefully removed the wrappings. Taking a deep breath, she withdrew the first leather bound journal. The title across the front said, 'The Journey Through A Rose Garden: The Love Story of Sarah and Harmon Rabb' and below in smaller print was the subtitle, 'The Beginning'. As she flipped through the pages, it became obvious that the journal had been bound to include first her mother's then her father's writings. The subsequent journals were similarly titled, only the subtitles had been altered for the time period included. She smiled at the subtitle of the second book, 'The Birth of a Princess, a Prince and a Bear'.
She set the journal back into the box and withdrew one of the smaller gifts, bearing her name. She walked over to sofa and sat down, only to be bathed in the morning light. She pulled on the delicate bow, releasing the buried treasure. Withdrawing the golden bracelet, the gold and diamonds glittered brilliantly in the sunlight. As she studied the heirloom, she marveled that barely a link was left without a charm. She'd once asked her mother what each charm meant, but her mother had only smiled and replied, "That's a secret between two people hopelessly in love. One day my daughter, I will tell you what mystery each charm holds." Sophie wiped at her tears, now she would never know. As her body shook with deep gut wrenching sobs, the gift box fell from her lap. Even as it hit the floor, a small scrap of ivory paper fell from its hidden depths. Sophie retrieved the note and was surprised to find the words of her mother, 'My Dear Bunny, The mysteries to the charms are revealed in the Journey. Read the Journals my Darling Daughter, and you will understand. My Eternal Love, Mama.'
xxxxx
Continued in Part 20b