Chapter Ten: Straightjacket Feeling

Today I'm fine without you, run away this time without you.

Marco

"I really like him Ash," I gushed about Tim. The school day had just ended and I was sifting through my locker to get all my homework out.

"That's great Marco. You should ask him out sometime."

"Nah, I think for now we should just be friends or something. So, how are things with you?" I asked her.

"Not so good. I really messed things up with Jimmy and with Ellie. And Craig…" she added, looking down at the floor.

"Well, apologies really do work," I hinted. "Don't worry, they'll come around."

"That's just it Marco. I don't think they ever will…" she trailed off.

"What are you saying?" I asked. She looked strange.

"I'm leaving Toronto," she said, completely surprising me.

"Where are you gonna go?" I asked.

"To live with my dad," she replied. I could tell she was trying not to cry.

"But didn't he move to…"

"Yeah, he moved to London."

Emma

I went home after I talked to Ellie, but no one was there. A note from my mother explained that she had gone to pick up Jack early and take him out to dinner with her. Snake wasn't home yet either; I guess he was still at school.

I was happy for once. I'd had a great time with Spinner, just talking. It was the first day since the shooting that I hadn't even thought about the shooting. I didn't hear Rick's voice, or the gun go off. Spinner had even confessed that he was partly to blame for it. We took almost an hour talking about just that subject, and still I didn't have any horrible flashbacks.

I felt pretty tired, so I decided to lie down on the couch and take a nap. Snake would probably wake me up when he got home anyway. I had a feeling that we'd have some kind of talk, and he'd lecture me about my actions and all that crap.

"Is this fun for you Emma?" he asked, pressing his lips against mine. The kiss was too hard and forceful.

"Stop it," I cried.

"Or how about this?" He reached up under my skirt and pulled my underwear down.

"Don't," I said, tears spilling down my face.

"Don't you want to know what it feels like to be a full blown whore? You're already on your way…" he trailed off as he pulled his pants and underwear down in one swift movement.

I lunged for the door, but he caught me and pinned me down.

"Please," I said, trying one last time to get through to him.

It didn't work.

"No! Stop!" I yelled. "Please stop!"

"Emma? Honey, are you okay? You're having a bad dream." I heard a familiar voice. I sat up and opened my eyes. I was lying on my couch, safe. Snake was crouched down next to me. He looked very upset and concerned. I instantly realized that I'd been treating both my parents like crap, when everything I was going through wasn't even their fault at all. I pulled him towards me and hugged him tight.

"I'm so sorry Dad," I said, tears flowing out of my eyes.

"Sweetie, don't worry. It's gonna be okay," he said, pulling away and looking into my eyes.

"I just don't feel very proud of the way I've been acting. I keep thinking about Rick and how it's my fault…"

"Emma, it's not your fault. Don't even think that." He kissed me on my forehead and sat down next to me.

"And I feel like taking care of Jack is too much. I just can't take people depending on me so much, because when I let them down, I feel like a horrible person," I cried.

"Your mother and I already talked about that, and we're going to try to find a babysitter for Jack. Someone who will pick him up after daycare and watch him until your mom or I get home from work, even if you're going to be home. That way, you can get your homework done, or go out with your friends, as long as you come home at a decent time," he explained.

"Thanks Dad," I told him, hugging him one more time.

"Your curfew is nine on school nights, and ten on the weekend. Your mom and I decided that would be the best time."

"Okay," I agreed. Nine was a little early, but I wasn't one to argue. I'd been putting them through hell lately.

"We also think that maybe you should go and talk to Ms. Sauvé about how you're feeling and what's going on," he suggested.

"Maybe I will." I'd never really thought of it before, but I also wasn't sure I really wanted to talk to her.

"Why don't you come eat dinner? I made your favorite."

I followed him to the table to eat, finally feeling better.

Tim

I can't believe Marco talked to me last night. He just showed up at my table. I'd been eyeing him for a week, but I wasn't sure if he was gay until last night. And he gave me his phone number to call him anytime if I needed advice. I'd told him about my dad, and how I was afraid to tell him I was gay.

I dialed Marco's number and took a deep breath. He answered on the fifth ring.

"Hello?" I loved the sound of his voice.

"Hey Marco…it's Tim," I said, trying not to stutter.

"Oh hey. What's up?"

"I was just wondering if maybe…maybe you'd like to go out with me sometime?" I closed my eyes, bracing myself for a 'no.'

"Sure. How about Friday night?" he asked. Damn. Of course Friday night was 'family night' with my dad. It was something he'd come up with shortly after my mom died.

"Actually…I have to spend some time with my dad that night," I said. "Can you do something Saturday?"

"Yeah that's fine. How does eight sound?"

"That's sounds great!" I said, a little too enthusiastically. "Bye."

I hung up the phone and resisted the urge to scream like a girl. I have a date with Marco Del Rossi!

Jay

What is happening to me? Last night was horrible. I offered to help Ellie find Emma and then I kissed her. She obviously didn't want it because she pulled away. This is why I don't want to go soft for anyone. I should just stick to messing around with girls at the ravine. At least then I have the power.

I went home for once that night. My half sister greeted me at the door. I feel so bad for her. She's only six and she has crappy ass parents.

"Jay!" she giggled, jumping up into my arms.

"Hey Abby," I said, tickling her before setting her down. "How was school?"

"Good. We made some play dough! Wanna see it?"

"Maybe later. Where's Dad?" Her face fell at the mention of him.

"He went out with Mommy. I think they went to dinner."

"And they left you alone?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Yeah. They always do. I just watched TV for a long time. How come you're never home?" she asked, tugging at one of her curls.

"I would be if I knew you were all alone. Why don't I take you to the park this weekend?" I asked her. Her face lit up and she smiled.

"Yeah!"

"Okay then, it's a date."

When I was ten, my mother just left us one day. And my dad fell apart. He started drinking all the time, and was never home. He had been my best friend before that. Then, only a few months later, he met Judy and he was happy again. He got her pregnant on their second date and they got married a week later.

I was pretty much ignored by the time Abby was born, but I was used to it by then. I made friends with the bad kids that my dad and step mom hated, and then I stopped coming home. The poor kid has no choice but to pretty much sit home alone until she's at least a teenager. Then she'll probably turn out like me.

JT

I was sitting at home, doing nothing, when the doorbell rang. As soon as I opened the door, I wanted to slam it in her face. But she beat me to it and walked right in.

"What do you want Liberty?" I asked. I was tired, and I didn't really feel like talking to her at all.

"I came to apologize," she said, sighing and plopping down on my couch. "What I said was really out of line."

"You really surprised me Lib. I never thought that you of all people would push sex on me. Of course I never thought that I wouldn't be ready for it either," I said, laughing a little. She rolled her eyes and smiled.

"I thought you'd understand. I've missed you so much," she said, standing back up and wrapping her arms around me. I hugged her back, but then I thought of Paige and I pulled away from her.

"This doesn't mean we're getting back together," I said.

"Why not? I thought you understood."

"Maybe I do and maybe I don't. But our fight made me realize that our relationship pretty much sucked. It wasn't really much of anything except for making out all the time. We never even talked Liberty," I argued.

"Forget it JT! I loved you for four years and you wouldn't give me the time of day!"

"I did when I thought the time was right. But now I realize that there was never a right time for us. And there never will be!" I waited until she stormed out of the house to slam the door like I wanted to from the beginning. Some things never change.

Manny

"Manny!" I heard someone calling my name. I got up from my bed and looked out the window. There was Jimmy, sitting in the parking lot of my apartment building. I was pretty upset. I started to like him but then I saw him kissing Hazel. So I guess what he told me was all lies.

I walked away from the window, ignoring him. He called my name a few more times, and he wasn't giving up.

"I'm sorry!" he yelled. "The kiss with Hazel didn't mean anything!"

I left my room, going past my parents in the living room, and walked out of the apartment. I figured I should stop him before everyone in the building heard my business. When I got outside, he was taking a break from yelling, slumped down in his chair.

"What's all the noise about?" I asked, coming up behind him. "Did you want the world to know everything?" He turned his wheelchair to face me and smiled.

"I knew you'd come around. Look Manny, I'm really sorry. Let me explain," he begged.

"Jimmy, you can kiss whoever you want. You're not my boyfriend. I'm fine with it, really," I lied.

"Then why did you look so upset today?" he asked me.

"We had a fight, and I just wanted to apologize. But you were busy, so I left. I wasn't upset." More lying.

"I know that's not the truth. Hazel is moving to New York. I was apologizing to her for our messy break up, and she asked me for one last kiss, that's all. I figured that I was too mean to her, so I kissed her. And I don't want you to be mad at me," he explained. I couldn't hide the smile forming on my face. He patted his lap for me to sit down, so I obliged.

"Now I feel even more like a jerk," I told him.

"Don't. You're not a jerk, I am." He leaned in and kissed me softly. When we broke apart, he kept his forehead pressed against mine.

"I went back to your house last night you know. Your mom said you didn't want to see anyone," I said.

"What? I asked her if it was you, and she said it wasn't. I can't believe her!" he sat up straight. I could tell he was really mad.

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure she was just looking out for you," I assured him.

"I guess."

"How did you even get here?" I asked him. "Or know where I lived for that matter."

"I asked Emma," he said. Then he pointed over to his van. "My parents got me a driver. You wanna go somewhere? He has to bring me wherever I want."

"I can't, I have homework. But we should definitely do something this weekend," I said.

"That would be great."

Alex

I sat on the end of my bed with my knees pulled up to my chest. My mom's boyfriend had left over an hour ago, but I couldn't move. I was frozen in place, crying my eyes out. I should be used to this by now. It's been happening for six months.

I finally collected myself and looked in the mirror. The worst part about this place was that it was his. My dad left my mom when I was seven. She's dated too many guys to count since then. Some of them were nice, but they never stayed around too long. Most of them hit me because she let them. But her current one was the worst. They'd been dating for a year now. He'd asked my mom to move in with him after only two months.

Ever since then, my life's been hell. The first four months was okay. He hadn't laid a hand on me yet, and my mom seemed happy. But then, one day while my mom was at work, he hit me. I stayed out with Jay that night, and came home around three in the morning to find him waiting for me in the living room.

"Your mother and I have been worried sick about you!" he yelled when I walked in the house.

"Yeah, maybe because she doesn't know that you hit me!" I yelled right back, trying to walk past him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him.

"I didn't hit you," he said through gritted teeth. "You fell Alex, don't you remember?"

"You're such a liar!" I spat right in his face, and that just pissed him off more. He shoved me backwards onto the couch and got on top of me. "Leave me alone!" I screamed.

He was so big that I couldn't fight him off. He put a hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream, and started pulling my pants down with the other.

That was the first night he raped me. I felt so dirty afterwards. I felt like it was my fault and I deserved it. But I know that he's just a bastard. A sick nasty little shit. And I won't take this anymore.

I found my biggest duffle bag and started shoving my clothes in it. I wouldn't stay in his house any longer. I had to get out of there.

A/N: I'm not sure if Tim's mom really died or not...but I don't remember if he said anything about her in the episode where Marco comes out to his dad. Anyway, how do you guys like the story? I had no idea how many chapters I'll end up with. The title and lyrics are from "Straightjacket Feeling" by the All American Rejects and they own it.