Chapter Fourteen: If I Fall

If I fall, will you catch me? Make it alright, because I'm standing on the edge now.

Emma

Ellie cried for awhile, and I just talked to her most of the day. After she calmed down, she was feeling tired, so I let her crash on my bed. I just sat down on the couch and was about to watch a movie when the doorbell rang. I sighed, stood up, and trudged over to the door.

"Spinner!" I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck. He hugged me tightly, lifting me off the ground a little. "I thought you had to work tonight?" I asked.

"You need me more than The Dot does. So I took the night off," he explained.

"This would be why you're the best boyfriend I've ever had," I told him.

"Boyfriend?"

"Well…yeah. I mean, if you don't want to…"

"Of course I want to be your boyfriend. I was just wasn't sure how you felt about it," he said.

Instead of replying with words, I kissed him hard. His tongue found its way into my mouth, and we moved over to the couch, accidentally leaving the front door open. We kissed for what seemed like hours before Spinner finally pulled away from me and smiled.

"I was just about to watch a movie. Did you want to join me?" I asked, resisting the urge to kiss him again.

"Of course. But first…" he kissed me again, very softly at first, then varying the pressure of each kiss that followed. We didn't hear anyone knock on the door, so both of us were surprised when we looked up and saw JT and Toby standing in the room.

I jumped when I saw them, and brought myself closer to Spinner, gripping his hand.

"Having fun?" JT asked, grinning.

"Is this fun for you Emma?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked them, my voice shaky. Spinner must have noticed because he put a hand up to my back and started to rub it lightly.

"Stop it!"

"We were just stopping by to see if you wanted to hang out," Toby said, shrugging.

"Or how about this?"

"But maybe it's not a good time," JT added.

"Don't."

I held back tears, unsure of what to do. I could hear the words in my head, from that night at the ravine.

"Spinner," I whispered, turning to him.

"Just leave guys," he told them forcefully.

"Maybe you should let her speak for herself," JT said. Spinner's hands left me as he stood up and got in JT's face, pushing him back.

"Don't you want to know what it feels like to be a full blown whore? You're already on your way…"

"Leave him alone Spinner. We were just leaving," Toby said, grabbing JT's arm.

"No, if he wants to fight, then let him fight," JT said, pulling away from Toby.

"STOP!" I screamed, unable to take it any longer. They all froze in their tracks and looked over at me. I couldn't keep the tears from coming anymore, and they poured out of my eyes like rain.

Spinner ran to me and held me in his arms as the two guys prepared to leave.

"Sorry Emma," JT said. "I didn't realize you were so upset."

"Yeah, I'm sorry too," Toby added.

But I couldn't listen. I pressed my head to Spinner's chest, trying to block out the sound.

Craig

I had just finished moving the last of the boxes when Joey got back with the bed. I helped him set it up while Angie watched a movie in my room. By the time the room was completely finished, it was already six thirty. She'd be home any minute.

Joey and Angela were downstairs making dinner when I heard the front door open. I was finishing with the sheets on the bed when I heard her call out to me.

"Craig? Joey said you were up here somewhere…"

"Surprise!" I yelled as I realized she was standing in the doorway, staring.

I was taken by surprise when she started to cry.

"Alex? What's wrong?" I moved over to her and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me. She didn't resist, but simply leaned her head on my shoulder and sighed.

"I'm fine, really," she said into my shirt, her voice coming out a little muffled. "It's just that no one's ever done anything this nice for me before." She pulled herself back from me and looked into my eyes. "Thanks," she whispered.

"Any time," I replied, wiping the leftover tears off of her cheeks. She leaned towards me, and I thought she was going to kiss me, but she kept going until her mouth was even with my ear.

"Why don't I really thank you tonight?" she whispered before walking out of the room.

Spinner

I let Emma cry for a long time. She really needed to lately. When she was finished, she sat up and wiped her eyes.

"Are you any better?" I asked, running a hand through her hair.

"I guess so," she answered. Her voice sounded so tiny, like she was far away from me. She looked so weak; she was definitely not the same Emma that I knew a few years ago. That Emma was commanding and fierce, but now, she was broken.

"I know you don't want to talk about this, but I have to know. JT did it to you, didn't he?" I asked, trying to stay calm. She looked away from me, and I knew my suspicions had been confirmed. I stood up; ready to go kick his ass, but Emma grabbed my arm and pulled me back to her.

"Don't," she said in that same, faraway voice.

"He can't get away with this Emma! We have to do something," I protested. "JT Yorke is a dead man." I knew from my previous experience with this topic that I shouldn't go trying to beat people up, but maybe this time would be different. Maybe we'd both feel better once he got what he deserved.

I was up from the couch again, moving toward the door. Instead of pulling me back, Emma jumped up and ran to me, grabbing onto my hand.

"You can't do this Spin. Leave JT alone," she said, her voice loud and hard this time.

"Why not?" I yelled, getting frustrated.

"Because it wasn't JT!" she screamed back at me. "It was Toby!"

JT

"What do you think that was all about?" I asked Toby. We were driving to Paige's house since we had nothing better to do.

"Who knows," he said, rolling his eyes. "Spinner's probably totally screwed Emma up. I don't' see why she ever got with him anyway. He's the one who made Rick bring a gun to school," Toby said angrily.

"Well, what are we gonna do about this? We can't let her waste her life with that loser," I said, trying to think of something.

"We could kick his ass," Toby said, completely surprising me.

"Right. Just think about that for a minute Tobes. Spinner could sit on both of us at once. I don't think that's a good idea."

"We'll think of something."

Paige

"I can't believe you're both leaving me on the same day," I complained to Hazel and Ashley.

"Well, we knew we'd all be separated sometime," Ashley said, smiling.

"I'm really gonna miss you guys," Hazel said, changing the subject.

"Tell me again why you're leaving on the same day? You're going to different countries," I whined.

"Ashley is flying with me to New York," Hazel answered.

"And I'm staying with her family for a few days, because my plane to London goes out from there," Ashley finished.

"I'm sorry that I'm the only one here to say goodbye," I told them. I felt really bad that no one showed up.

"Yeah, where is everyone anyways? I thought that at least Jimmy would be here," Hazel said, looking down at the ground.

"I have no idea where Jimmy is, Craig is fixing a room up at his house for Alex, Marco is off somewhere with Tim, and JT is hanging out with Toby," I explained. "So it's just me."

"We still love you anyway," Hazel said, hugging me. Ashley hugged me after that and we all had tears in our eyes.

"You sure you're not coming back?" I asked both of them.

"Sorry," Ashley said. "I'm staying with my dad for as long as I can. I'll be finishing school out there."

"And I'm staying in New York. I really need to get away from here. I'll miss you Paige," Hazel said.

"What am I gonna do without you two?"

"Don't worry, you'll still have Jimmy, Craig, Alex, Manny, JT, and Toby," Ashley said, laughing.

"Great, so now my two best friends will be Manny and Alex. I don't think I'll be able to stand it."

"We'll write you," Hazel said.

"And call," Ashley added.

And then we all hugged for the last time.

Manny

"What happened last night? You never called me," I told Jimmy.

"My mom happened," he said with a look of disgust on his face. He'd just come in his van to see me; he told me he had something important to talk about.

"Do you want to come inside?" I asked.

"No, I can't. I can only stay for a few minutes, and then I have to go somewhere," he told me.

"Okay then, what did you need to tell me?"

"I don't know any other way to say this, so here it goes. My mom doesn't want me to see you anymore," he said.

I felt my stomach flop. Why does this always happen to me? I sleep with a guy and then he's gone, just like that.

"Why?" I asked him, biting my bottom lip and trying to keep myself from crying.

"Because she's racist," he said bitterly. "She yelled something about not wanting Asian grandchildren."

Hearing that from him, I did start to cry. I couldn't help it. I'd actually never been hated because of my race…until now.

"I guess I'll see you around then," I said between sobs.

"What? Manny, I'm not leaving you," he told me.

"You're not?"

"Of course not! I'm not going to let my mother stop me from being with my girlfriend. I will always be here for you, no matter what."

I ran to him and jumped in his lap, throwing my arms around him. After we hugged for a minute, I kissed him and stopped crying for the most part. He held me for a few minutes before he said he had to go, but assured me that he'd be back tomorrow.

Jimmy's mom was the last person I thought would pull this kind of crap. I actually expected my dad to act this way before anyone else's parents. But I had the best boyfriend in the world, and that was all I needed. We would get through this, I knew we would.

Jay

"Hey Abby," I told my sister as I walked into the house. I'd been making it a habit to go stay home and take care of my sister, but since her mom was home, I'd gone out, only for a few hours.

"Daddy's mad," she warned me before kissing me on the cheek.

"Thanks for letting me know," I told her. "Why don't you go play up in your room?" I watched her run up, and waited to hear her door close before I went to find my father. I knew very well what he was like when he got mad, so I didn't want her to be around it.

"What the hell Jason?" he yelled as soon as I walked into the living room.

"What's wrong with you?" I yelled right back. I was sick of him being an asshole the only time I ever saw him.

"What have you been telling your sister? She won't even listen to us anymore. All I hear coming from her mouth is that you told her to do or not do something. You're not her parent!"

"If you or Judy were EVER home, you'd see that I've been taking care of her. She needs SOMEONE here! She's only six years old. What the hell is wrong with you that makes you think she can sit alone all day?" I yelled. I opened my mouth to say some more, but was cut short when he slapped me across my face.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again Jason!" he yelled.

"What are you gonna do about it dad?"

He shoved me then, so hard that I fell against the wall.

It was at that moment that I decided I was going to get a really good job, save up all the money I could, and get Abby and I out of there.

Jimmy

"Am I too late?" I asked as I made my way up to where Paige, Ashley, and Hazel were standing outside Paige's, along with JT and Toby. I'd had my driver drop me off down the street because I didn't want to attract attention with the stupid power lift lowering me to the ground.

"Jimmy, you made it!" Hazel squealed, running over to hug me. I politely hugged her back, and realized how much different it felt than hugging Manny. It just felt strange to have my arms around Hazel, so I slowly pulled back from her.

Everyone else moved over to where I was, and I hugged Ashley as well. It was so weird to say goodbye to both of my ex-girlfriends, and I was really wishing that I was back at Manny's with her.

I didn't want to go home either, but after I spent almost an hour there, the sun was going down, and I had to go. I reluctantly got back in the van and headed back to my house where I'd go right to my room and ignore my mother.

Alex

I was laying in my bed, unable to move comfortably, because Craig was fast asleep with his arm thrown over me. It just didn't feel right.

After Joey had gone to bed, he snuck into my new room so I could "properly" thank him. We had sex pretty much the same as we did the other night. I just went crazy when I was with him. I guess I was trying to make up for my uneasy feelings about what I was doing. I was trying to change my own mind, but it wasn't working very well.

I didn't know if I was doing all of this because of what happened with my mom's boyfriend. Or maybe it was the fact that since I'd left home, my mom hadn't even come looking for me.

There was one other reason that I might have been doing this with Craig, but I pushed it to the back of my mind. I didn't want to think about that just yet.

"Craig, wake up," I whispered, shaking him. He wouldn't budge. He was a really heavy sleeper, which was why I had been able to sneak off to the garage the other night. "Craig!" I hissed, ready to shove him off the bed.

I didn't want to make a lot of noise, so I did the only thing I knew would be effective. I kissed him hard, pushing my tongue into his already open mouth. Still half asleep, but with his mouth hanging open; he finally started to kiss me back, and eventually opened his eyes.

"What is it Alex?" he asked sleepily.

"You have to go back in your room now," I told him, pushing him off of me. It was two in the morning.

"Why?" he groaned, kissing my neck. I pulled myself away from him and sat up.

"Because, you have to be in your own room when Joey wakes up. We don't want him suspecting anything," I explained.

"You're right. Goodnight," he said, kissing me softly before quietly sneaking back to his own room. I gladly got up and closed my door, finally able to go to sleep.

Marco

For a long time, I could hear my parents fighting over what had happened. I heard him yelling at my mother all night. She admitted to him that she knew for a long time, and he was so angry with her.

I hid out in the guest room with Tim. He held me while I cried like a baby over what was happening. I couldn't believe it; my father never acted this way in my entire life. He was always quiet and kind, but this one little secret pushed him over the edge.

When it was nearly three in the morning, I decided to go downstairs and put a stop to it. I told Tim that he should stay in his room, and I went downstairs into the kitchen. As soon as my dad saw me, he stopped talking completely. He looked away from me. That moment was the worst moment in my life. When your own father is disgusted by you, there's probably nothing left in the world that could be worse.

"I want him out! Him and that…other boy," he said to my mom. I looked over to her. She had a tear stained face, and I could tell she was holding back even more. She shook her head sadly at me.

"He's not leaving," she said firmly. "And Tim's not leaving either."

"I am his father, and I will decide if he stays or goes!"

"Marco is my son too. And he is staying. If you don't want to be around him and his boyfriend, then you can leave." She stayed calm the entire time, but I could tell that it was very hard for her.

I fought back tears as I watched my father nod his head. He walked right past my mom, out of the house, and out of my life.

A/N: Just to clear things up for anyone who didn't understand, Manny is Filipina (she's from the Philippeans, which is an Asian country) and that's why Jimmy's mom said he didn't want Asian grandchildren running around. There was a lot of Emma and Spinner in this chapter…I know everyone wanted to find out who raped her. Now you know, so who's surprised? Next chapter will be fast forwarded to maybe a few months later. And there will be some more Ellie and Jay confrontation. I know Jimmy's POV was random, but I just wanted it to show that he really wants to stay with Manny. There'll be more about his mom later. Sorry this chapter is up so late today, but I procrastinated and wrote the whole thing today. The title and lyrics are from the song "If I Fall" by Aqualung and they own it.