Chapter Fifteen: Move Along

Move along like I know you do, move along

Emma

I woke up to find Spinner's arms wrapped tightly around me, like he was never going to let go. I found comfort in that, and lay there for a few more minutes. The night before, after I confessed to Spinner that it was Toby, I broke down again. That alone was enough to convince Spinner not to beat the crap out of him. He knew I needed him to stay with me, so he did. I was beginning to wish that he was the one I'd always been with; not Sean or Chris, but Spinner. If I'd had him all along, then maybe I wouldn't be this way.

I finally pulled myself from his arms, but he didn't wake up. I watched him sleep for a minute. His mouth was slightly hanging open, and a little spot of drool was drying on the couch pillow. I had to smile at that. Only Spinner could be gross and make it look cute. I gently kissed his forehead, pulled a blanket over him, and then went into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast.

I fixed up the coffee pot, popped some bread in the toaster, and started to heat up the stove to make bacon and eggs. I knew the smell of food cooking would wake him up; another thought that made me smile. It seemed like everything about him made me happy. Especially the way he took care of me. He let all of his own worries fade away and allowed mine to take place of them.

When I was almost finished cooking everything, Ellie crept upstairs. I could tell she had cried herself to sleep the night before too, because her eyeliner was smudged on her cheeks and her eyes were red. I motioned for her to look at Spinner. We shared a laugh and then I sent her on her way to get cleaned up. I was really glad that I had Ellie in my life too. As much as I loved Manny, I knew she would never be able to look past my dating Spinner. She was known to hold a grudge for a long time.

As if on cue, the minute I put breakfast on the table, Spinner stretched and fell right off the couch. I helped him up, since he was still half asleep, and led him to the table. He smiled and kissed me softly before scratching his head and starting to eat. I sat down next to him, and Ellie returned to eat with us.

"This is really good," Spinner mumbled with his mouth full of food. I frowned a little at him, but then decided to stop caring. So what if he talked with his mouth full? I'm not his mother. I'm not anyone's mother. So why should I care about stupid little things like that?

"Thanks," I said. Ellie just nodded and kept eating. I slowly picked at my food, causing Spinner to finally say something.

"Are you okay?" he asked, placing a hand on my arm.

"I'm fine," I lied. I couldn't tell him the truth. Of course I wasn't fine. Every second that someone wasn't talking to me, I would think about how I was raped. And how it was my fault. I felt like I was going to explode. I was on the verge of asking Ellie if it really hurt to cut. Because I needed to take my mind off of this in any way possible.

"What's wrong?" Ellie finally asked, taking a break to gulp her orange juice.

"Nothing. I just had a fight with JT last night, over some stupid little thing," I lied again, throwing Spinner a look not to say anything. The problem was, Ellie caught the look.

"I wouldn't have guessed you were lying if you hadn't just looked at Spinner that way," she said, starting to eat again. "So what's going on?"

"I'm not lying Ellie. I'm fine. Are you okay?" I asked her, ready to change the subject.

"Why wouldn't she be okay?" Spinner asked me with a confused look on his face. I remembered right then and there that I was the only one who knew Ellie was pregnant. I was the only one who ever knew there was a possibility of her being pregnant.

"I'm great," she said, obviously faking a smile. Spinner didn't even notice because he was too busy eating more. "Is there anymore bacon?" she asked.

"Sure." I grabbed her plate and filled it with bacon and eggs, and gave her some more toast. Since she was pregnant, she was eating the same amount of food that Spinner was. I laughed a little at that.

"You gonna eat the rest of that?" Spinner asked, eyeing my food.

"Nope, go ahead." I pushed the plate away, eager to give it to him. I'd only taken a few bites of eggs, and eaten one piece of bacon, but I somehow felt full. The food was making me feel sick just looking at it.

"Hey Emma, don't forget, we're going to the mall today," Ellie said. I paused to think for a minute before realizing that she was giving me a look. Then I remembered; today was Ellie's first doctor's appointment.

"Oh yeah, I almost did forget, thanks for reminding me," I told her with a wink. Spinner was oblivious to the whole ordeal.

"We have to leave in an hour and a half, so I better get ready," she said, dumping her plate in the sink. "Thanks for breakfast."

As soon as she was gone, Spinner looked up from his food.

"She doesn't know?" he asked.

"No, she doesn't and she's not gonna know okay?" I said though gritted teeth.

"Emma, we have to tell someone. You have to get help," he pushed.

"No, I don't. I already told you that I'm fine. The only person I want help from is you," I said. I sat down in his lap and kissed him, ready to make him forget that what he knew.

Paige

"I should have never taken this early shift," I groaned, leaning back against the counter.

"It's not that bad," Alex said. At least you have me to entertain you.

"I just don't see how you can work so early in the morning. It's summer! I'm supposed to be sleeping in."

"It's a habit for me. I just never wanted to be at home when my mom woke up from being passed out, so I came here. And even though I don't live at home anymore, I guess it just stuck with me," she said, shrugging.

Ever since I started working with Alex, we got closer and closer. She really was one of my best friends, especially since my only other girl friends both left the country today. Working with Alex was always amusing. She'd try to make me feel better if I was upset, and I'd do the same.

Over the time that we'd been working together, Alex had told me all about her home life. She confessed that I was the only one who knew all of it. She hadn't even ever told Jay. I promised that I wouldn't say anything, but I was still worried about her. That's why, when I found out that she'd moved in with Craig, I was so happy for her.

"So tonight I'm having a party, and you better come," I told her.

"What if I don't?" she asked, grinning.

"I'll just have to do this!" I started tickling her. She squealed with laughter until her face turned red. I finally stopped, feeling merciful, but it was the wrong thing to do. Because then she attacked me, tickling me until I felt that I couldn't breath any longer. Someone clearing their throat from behind us made us both jump and stop immediately, trying to compose ourselves.

I turned around and saw that it was JT. He was eyeing Alex, almost jealously.

"Hey," I said, kissing him across the counter. He looked at me and smiled, finally relaxing.

"Can you take your break yet?" he asked. I looked back at Alex for approval and she nodded.

As I walked off with him, I looked to Alex and smiled.

"You better come tonight! And bring Craig!" I yelled. She just waved me off, so I turned my attention back to my boyfriend and grasped his hand as we went outside.

Manny

Since Jimmy had to go to one of his routine check-ups, I was left with nothing to do. I thought about how I'd normally be hanging out with Emma. We hadn't even spoken since that day in the hallway. I couldn't believe she would do that do me. It's not like I ever went out with Sean or Chris. Best friends don't date each other's ex boyfriends. It's just an unspoken rule.

I decided that I wanted to just go over to her house and give her a piece of my mind. Or maybe I could talk some sense into her.

It only took me five minutes to walk to her house. There was no car in the driveway, so I assumed her parents were gone for the day. The only time they ever left was usually to go to Snake's mom's house.

I knocked lightly on the door, and when no one came, I knocked harder. I was very surprised when the door opened and Ellie was standing on the other side. I threw her a look of distaste but she just rolled her eyes and stepped aside, letting me in.

"Hey Emma! Whatsherface is here!" she yelled out before walking away. I followed her and saw her going down into Emma's room. Who does she think she is? Since when does she roam the house as she pleases? I was dragged out of my thoughts as Emma entered the room.

"Manny! What's up?" she asked casually, as if nothing odd was going on.

"Let's see…you're dating my ex boyfriend, who also happens to be the kid that caused the shooting at our school. Oh and now you have a new best friend, the cutter. Anything I missed?"

"What is wrong with you?" she yelled at me. "Why can't you just be happy for me? You've been off with Jimmy all the time, so it's not like I'm just trying to ignore you. Anyone can pick up a phone Manny!"

"That's crap Emma and you know it!" I screamed. I didn't get any farther because Spinner walked into the room. "What the hell are YOU doing here?"

"I'm her boyfriend dumbass," he said, walking over to Emma and taking her in his arms.

"What good will you ever do for her?" I asked him, quieter this time. "Are you gonna push her around until she brings a gun to school?"

"Shut the hell up Manny. You're the one who isn't being a good friend, and you know that. I care about Emma more than I've ever cared about anyone in my life. Especially you," he added.

"Will you two just stop?" Emma asked pleadingly. I could tell she was trying not to cry, but that was just too bad for her. If she hadn't started doing crap with Spinner, she wouldn't be in this situation.

"Shut up you slut! He's my ex-boyfriend. He screwed us all over and now he's screwing you!"

I expected Spinner to start screaming in their defense, or Emma to jump up and punch me. But what I didn't expect was for Emma to burst into tears and turn into Spinner's chest. And I didn't expect Spinner to throw a look at me like I was the cruelest person in the world. He started talking to me, in a calm, quiet voice.

"You have no idea what she's been going through. One of your stupid little friends is really the cause of this; not me," he said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, still annoyed.

"Spinner, don't," I heard Emma mumble. She dug her nails into his arm, trying to keep him from saying anything else.

"She was raped Manny. Maybe you'd know that if you were around more."

"I think you better go," I heard another voice say from the side. My stomach dropped and I forced the bile back down my throat.

Ellie took me by the arm and led me out the door, slamming it behind me.

What have I done?

Spinner

"Why would you tell her that?" Emma asked angrily. She wiped her tears away and instantly turned from sad to pissed in only a few seconds.

"Why didn't you tell us Emma?" I heard Ellie whisper from the corner.

"Fuck, Spin! Now Ellie knows too," she cursed, pulling away from me.

"I was only trying to help," I said softly. "Besides, people need to know things like that so they don't treat you like shit; like Manny just was."

"I also don't need people walking on eggshells around me; only being nice to me because…because…"

She couldn't say it. Why couldn't I see that she wasn't fine? That she was torn up inside? I'm such an idiot to think, even after what happened with Paige, that I could help Emma by myself. She needed a lot more people than me.

"I'm sorry Em," I whispered into her ear. Ellie stood by, not knowing what to say. "I want to help you."

"So do I," Ellie added, finally breaking the silence.

"I don't need anyone's help," Emma snapped, backing away from me again. "Come on Ellie; let's get you to that appointment."

I just watched her leave me and lead Ellie off to her appointment. She never even looked back.

Tim

"I'm so sorry Marco; this is all my fault," I groaned.

"Will you stop apologizing?" he asked. "It's not your fault. My dad made a choice that had nothing to do with you."

"You're not very convincing," I said, laughing a little. I just couldn't help smiling when I was around him. Marco meant a lot to me, and I wanted him to know that. But I also couldn't help but feel guilty about his dad. He did leave because of me; because of what he saw.

"I try," Marco said, shrugging.

"Well, if you won't let me apologize, then at least let me cheer you up," I said, kissing him suddenly. I thought he might push me off, not ready to get into anything when he was upset. But instead, he lay down on the bed, pulling me down on top of him.

"You can cheer me up any day," he said into my mouth.

We kissed for what seemed like hours, rolling over and switching positions every so often. Marco ran a hand up my arm, and I pulled his shirt up to kiss his stomach. Everything around us was quiet, and we were never disturbed.

I slowly unzipped Marco's jeans, then popped the button and started to pull them off. Soon after that, we were undressed and under the blankets, our hands traveling over each other's bodies; exploring.

I had never done anything like it before; previously being afraid to let anyone know I was gay. But with Marco, it just seemed right. Like we were meant to be together that day.

My tongue explored Marco's mouth before he finally gently rolled me over. I nodded; letting him know it was okay. Speaking would have probably ruined it for both of us. All we needed was silence; and each other.

Ellie

Emma wouldn't talk to me at all on the way to or from the doctor's office. She stayed completely silent, and I didn't blame her. It was a lot to take in. When were halfway to her house, I told her I needed to be alone. I was really trying to give her some space, so she could think some things through. So I walked a different way, letting her go.

Everything went well during the appointment. The baby was fine, I was fine, everything was great. Except maybe how I felt. Even though I knew it was completely horrible, I'd almost hoped that something went wrong, that maybe I'd lost the baby. I felt guilty even thinking it, but I didn't know what else to do.

I knew I wouldn't be able to do it alone. I wasn't going to pretend that things would be fine, because I knew they wouldn't. I wasn't going to tell Jay, and I wasn't going to keep the baby.

I found myself walking to the park, hoping that I'd see Jay. Even though I didn't want him finding out, and I didn't want him to try to be a part of this, I still found myself going to him. The problem was: I didn't know why.

I looked up from the ground for an instant and saw him. He was sitting on a bench, watching Abby play with some other kids. I wanted to walk away; to run actually. But instead, I went forward, closer and closer to him.

"Hey," I said softly. His head snapped up and his eyes met mine. I was waiting for him to say some sarcastic remark about me stalking him, but instead, he just smiled.

"Hi." My eyes fell on his right eye. It was black and blue; someone had gotten him good. He saw me staring and looked away. Instead of taking the hint, I sat down next to him.

"What happened?" I asked, hoping that maybe he'd tell me. I just wanted to be able to talk to him.

"Nothing big really. I told a few people down at the ravine that I wouldn't be coming back. And I trashed the van," he added. "I heard about what happened to Emma and I just lost it."

"How did you hear? And when did this happen? I only found out two hours ago," I said, surprised at how fast the news traveled.

"Spinner called me last night, after he found out who did it. But he wouldn't tell me because he was afraid I'd kick the guy's ass."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad you trashed the van though. Nothing good ever comes out of there." Without realizing it, I let a hand fall to my stomach, holding it there for a moment. Thankfully for me, Jay didn't notice at all.

"I better get her home. It's almost time for her to go to bed," he said, standing up.

"It's really great what you're doing for her," I said. "She's lucky to have you." He held out a hand and pulled me from the bench. We were close, almost too close, and just stood there, looking into each other's eyes. Suddenly, he leaned down and kissed me, his lips gently massaging mine. I didn't pull away.

"Do you want to come back with us?" he asked once the kiss was over. "My dad and step mom aren't home tonight."

NO NO NO! My head was screaming at me. I should have left then, and never looked back. But I couldn't, and I didn't.

"Sure," I said, smiling and letting him take my hand.

Alex

"I'm so glad you came!" Paige squealed, wrapping an arm around my neck and leading me into the house. She had already been drinking, I could tell by the smell coming from her.

"Where's JT?" I asked, looking around for the little shrimp that was usually glued to her right hip.

"He had to work," she said. "But that's okay, because I have you!" she said, tapping a finger on the end of my nose. "And where's Craaaaaig?" she asked, bumping my hip with hers.

"He couldn't come; he had to baby-sit." I was lying. I hadn't really wanted to invite him. I needed some time to think without him always over my shoulder.

"Bummer. Oh well, we'll just have to have fun without them!" she yelled, pulling me out into the middle of the crowd and starting to dance.

"That should be relatively easy," I said, not being able to keep the smile off of my face. "But Paige, I don't dance!" I yelled over the music. She frowned, but I knew she was only joking around.

"Fine then. We'll just have to get you a drink!"

Several drinks later, Paige and I were up in her room, talking about how much parents sucked. I'd told Paige a lot about my home life, but never anything that my mom's most recent boyfriend did to me. I couldn't bear to tell anyone; they'd all think I was a freak for letting it happen.

"Sooooo, tell me all about your latest drama," Paige said. I knew she would actually listen, no matter how drunk she was.

"Let's see," I said, tapping my chin, pretending to think. "I'm currently sleeping with someone just to try and forget about my problems, but it's not really working." I sighed, unsure of what to do. Maybe Paige could help me.

"Is that why he's really not here?" she asked. "You didn't even ask him to come, did you?"

"Nope," I admitted, shrugging my shoulders.

"Why? I mean, it's not like you'd end up having sex here. I wouldn't allow it in my bed. Or my mom's," she added, smiling.

"To tell you the truth…I just wanted to be alone…with you." I looked her right in the eye and let a small smile form. She just stared at me, and I'm sure she was seriously thinking about running from the room. I was completely surprised when she leaned towards me and kissed me on the lips.

Neither of us let go as we kept kissing, and eventually lay down, her on top of me. I wasn't sure if she was doing it because of the alcohol, but I knew it was something that I'd wanted for a long time.

She pulled my shirt up and kissed me from my stomach up to my chest. My hands found their own way up her shirt, and I rolled over so that I was on top of her. She pulled me down so that our bodies were pressed together tightly. Her breath was hot on my neck and I gave in to her every touch.

Jay

I couldn't tell Ellie the truth. Sure, Spinner had called me and told me what happened, and I had gone to the ravine, trashed the van, and swore to myself that I'd never go back there. But that wasn't where my black eye came from. I couldn't tell her it was from my dad; that I was too weak to defend myself against him.

I finished putting Abby to bed and went downstairs to find Ellie sitting on the couch, staring around the room.

"Surprised?" I asked. I saw her jump and look over at me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I bet you expected a trailer," I said, walking over and sitting down next to her.

"No, not really." She wasn't talking much, just bouncing her leg up and down.

"So…" I trailed off, looking around with her. I didn't know what else to do. I'd never been powerless around a girl before. She just…did that to me.

But when I looked back towards her, she was staring right at me, and this time it was her that leaned forward and kissed me. I cupped the side of her face with my right hand and she leaned in closer, snaking her tongue into my mouth.

It wasn't long before I had my hand up her shirt. She didn't push me off; she just climbed into my lap and started kissing my neck. I slowly moved my hands down to her thighs, resting them there as she moved her lips back onto mine. I gradually slid my hands up her legs, but when I reached a certain point, she stopped.

She jumped up off the couch, her eyes laced with doubt.

"Sorry," I whispered, "I just…"

"No, it's not your fault. I just can't do this," she said, sighing and turning away. She moved for the door and I followed, trying to stop her.

"Ellie, wait!" I reached out, trying to grab hold of her arm, but it slipped out of my grasp and she was gone, quietly closing the door behind her.

A/N: I know I said I was going to move a few months forward in the chapter, but I didn't want to just yet. The next chapter will be moving forward, right past the summer, because I want to get to the birth of Ellie's baby at some point. The title and lyrics are from the song "Move Along" by The All-American Rejects and they own it.

urban luver: I wanted people to be shocked, so I planned for it to be him. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and thanks for the review!