Chapter Seventeen: What Now?

I just won't relax, I can't catch my breath.

Tim

I was eating breakfast, waiting for Marco to finish getting ready for school, when the phone rang. I got up to answer it, but Mrs. Del Rossi waved me away, motioning for me to finish my breakfast.

"Hello?" she asked. Then she paused, and her face was blank. "Okay, hold on a moment please." She placed the phone down and sat next to me.

"Is it for me?" I asked. She nodded.

"It's your father," she explained.

My stomach started to flip around. I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk to him at all. He kicked me out, then ignored me for so long, that I almost didn't feel like I should ever give him a chance to tell me anything. But then I remembered that he is my father, and I chanced it. I got up and picked up the phone, my hand shaking slightly. Mrs. Del Rossi left the room to give me some privacy.

"Hello?" I asked. My voice had taken on an annoyed tone automatically. I knew I shouldn't act like I was afraid of him, or of what he might say.

"Timothy," he said in a kind manner. "It's so great to hear your voice."

"You would have always heard it dad, but you kicked me out," I pointed out, ready to hang up the phone at any time.

"I know," he said, sighing. He sounded so…old. "I made a mistake Tim, and I'm sorry. I want to talk to you. Would that be okay?" he asked. Now he was asking me? I let him wait for my answer, mainly because I wasn't sure what I wanted it to be.

"You're talking to me right now," I finally said.

"The phone isn't good enough," he replied. "I want to see you Tim. I thought we could talk at that restaurant you go to. The Dot." This time it was my turn to sigh. How could I turn him down? No matter what happened, I still loved my father. I had actually been hoping for a call like this.

"Fine," I said, giving in. "I'll meet you there at seven." I hung up the phone without saying goodbye.

I don't know how I'm going to explain this to Marco.

JT

I don't know how some people do it. Once you've had sex, it's pretty hard to stop. And Paige hasn't wanted to do anything all summer. I wouldn't leave her for that reason. Actually, I wouldn't leave her for any reason, or think about leaving her. I sighed and pushed my locker door shut, ready to find someone to talk to before the day started.

Then there she was, running up to me like a little kid, with a huge smile on her face.

"You're gonna like this…I think," she said, kissing me.

"What?"

"I need sex. Now," she told me. A few people started to stare, so I dragged her outside, to the bottom of the front steps.

"Are you kidding me? You've made me wait three months and now you want it? School's about to start," I complained. She really had to pick the worst time.

"So what? We'll probably only miss homeroom…" she trailed off, grinning.

"And where do you suppose we do this?" I asked.

"I don't care, I'm really horny!" she squealed.

"Wow Paige, too much information," Alex said as she walked by. Paige stopped her ranting and turned around. Alex just stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at us. After another moment longer, she turned and walked way.

"That was weird," I said.

"Let's go!" Paige replied, grabbing my arm and dragging me across the parking lot.

"My car?" I asked.

"It's the closest thing," she pointed out. "Unless you wanted to go in the janitor's closet. Or the boys washroom," she suggested.

"The car's fine," I said. "We just can't get anything on the seats!"

Emma

I didn't want to be back at school. I couldn't stand walking down the halls, or seeing most of the people I had to see. Manny wouldn't talk to me. I could tell that it wasn't because she was mad at me, but she was ashamed by the way she had acted. I didn't want it to be that way. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me.

This year I'd be eating lunch alone, since Ellie and Spinner had second lunch, and I had first. Manny had first lunch too, but she wouldn't sit with me. She sat with Jimmy, Paige, and Craig.

I looked down at my lunch tray and sighed. The sight of the lunch food almost made me sick. I couldn't eat this crap. I pushed it around on the tray for awhile before finally getting up and throwing it away. I wasn't going to look like a loser, so I made my way to the girl's washroom.

I looked in the mirror and couldn't believe what I saw. No wonder no one would sit with me at lunch. I was so fat. My stomach was probably the biggest it had ever been, and my butt was horrible. I had to get rid of this.

Before I did anything, I checked to make sure no one was in the washroom. Then I locked the door and made my way to the first stall. I stuck my finger down my throat and heaved absolutely nothing. I hadn't eaten at all in awhile, but I was still so fat. I kept trying until something came up—even though it was only bile—and I was finally satisfied.

I wiped my mouth off and rinsed it with water before calmly walking to my next class.

Manny

"Have you seen Emma?" I asked Jimmy after lunch.

"No, why?"

"She looks horrible," I explained.

"What do you mean?" he asked, concerned.

"She's so skinny. I could see her hip bones sticking out, and she's pale," I let a few tears fall down my cheeks. "She was my best friend since we were little kids, and I screwed it all up."

"Manny, it's not your fault. You had a right to be upset that she was with Spinner. He's an ass, and your ex boyfriend," he said.

"But he's helping her," I said. "He's there for her when I should be. Jimmy…" I lay my head on his shoulder and cried for a few minutes. "She's not eating," I finally said.

"I don't think Emma would ever stop eating. She's not like that. She's responsible, and…"

"She was raped," I said, interrupting him. Jimmy was silent for a few minutes; we both just stayed like we were. "And I haven't even been there for her."

"Manny, you can't expect yourself to be able to help everyone. It's hard to even know where to start with something like that," he said.

"Maybe I should talk to Paige. She might know what to do…" I trailed off.

"But she probably wouldn't want to dig up those memories," Jimmy pointed out.

"I just don't know what to do then. I can't bring myself to talk to Spinner—not right now. Does that make me a horrible person?" I asked him.

"No, it makes you human. Manny, I have to ask you something," he said. I lifted my head up and looked in his eyes.

"What?"

"Will you move in with me?"

Ellie

Thankfully, the school day went by quickly. And no one noticed that I'd gotten bigger. I only had a small bump in my stomach, but I knew that sooner or later, people would know. I just wasn't sure if I wanted to tell anyone, or just let them figure it out themselves.

I did have a plan though. When Jay finally finds out, I'm going to tell him that it's Sean's baby. He doesn't know that Sean and I never had sex after the shooting. I could tell him that it happened right before we went to Wasaga. It was believable, and since Sean wasn't around to say any different, it would work.

I decided to walk home, rather than take the bus. I had my license, but no car, since I didn't live at home. Before I'd been using my mom's car from time to time, but that wasn't an option now. When I got to Emma's, there was someone sitting on the steps, waiting for me.

"What are you doing here Jay?" I asked, sitting down next to him. When I got this close to him, I wasn't sure what to do. Part of me wanted to just kiss him, or lay my head on his shoulder, while the other part of me wanted to get up and walk away. He just shrugged his shoulders and yawned. "Why weren't you in school today?" I asked. I figured he's make some sarcastic remark about how much I wanted him because I noticed he was gone; but he didn't.

"I was at the hospital all night with Abby," he explained.

"Is she okay?" I asked. I'd grown fond of his little sister; she always asked me to play with her, and told me that she loved me. It would break my heart to find out that anything bad happened to her.

"She had to get her appendix taken out. The doctor said she'd be fine, and she could go home in a week or so. I was just so scared," he admitted. I could tell that it was hard for him to say this kind of stuff to me; to anyone for that matter.

"Well, she's lucky that she has you," I said, patting his shoulder. He looked up at me and stared into my eyes, finally smiling. I couldn't resist that look, or those eyes. I leaned in and kissed him, while my brain yelled at me to stop. He brought a hand up to my cheek and held it there. Then his fingers ran through my hair as I slightly opened my mouth, allowing his tongue past my lips.

"Ellie?" I heard a familiar voice ask. I pushed myself back from Jay and stood, looking at the person who had just called my name. And I couldn't believe my eyes.

Marco

Tim left without saying anything. I had no idea where he'd gone, so I went out to find him. There were only a few places he could have gone, since he didn't have a car. I tried The Dot first, and sure enough, there he was.

I watched him through the window for a minute. He looked happy. He was smiling and laughing while he talked with whoever it was. I noticed that it was an older man, and I got a feeling in my stomach. It wasn't a good feeling.

Finally, I pulled open the door and walked inside, ready to see who he was meeting with so secretly.

"Tim?" I asked. "What are you doing here?"

He looked up at me, his smile suddenly replaced by a look of worry.

"Hey Marco, he said. "I'm just having dinner…" he trailed off, and motioned toward the guy.

"With who?" I asked. I had a pretty good feeling who the guy was, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"Oh, this is my boyfriend, Marco," he said to the man.

"Nice to meet you Marco," he said, holding his hand out. I wouldn't shake it though; I couldn't.

"Who are you?" I asked, somewhat rudely.

"I'm Tim's dad," he told me, confirming my suspicions. I looked over at Tim, my lips pressed into a frown. I had nothing to say to either of them, so I just walked away.

"I'll be right back," I heard him tell his dad.

"Marco, what's wrong?" he asked as soon as we were outside.

"You shouldn't even have to ask that Tim! After everything you said about that guy, and all the pain he put you through, you're out here secretly meeting with him? How long has this even been going on? How long have you been lying to me?" I asked. I knew I was overdoing it, but I remembered how it felt when I found out about all of Dylan's lies. I felt like it was happening all over again.

"I haven't been lying to you at all. He called me this morning, and asked me to meet him for dinner," he explained.

"Why couldn't you just tell me? I'm your boyfriend! Do you even care about that?" I asked.

"Of course I do. And I knew you'd be upset like this, and not want me to come tonight. I was going to wait for the right time to tell you…" he trailed off, looking down at the ground.

"To tell me what?" I was afraid of his next words. I knew, in the bottom of my heart, what he was about to say. And I didn't want to hear it.

"He wants me to come home."

Alex

I was lying on my bed with the door open, starting on some homework when someone knocked on the doorframe. I looked up to see Joey standing there, looking nervous.

"Let me guess…" I said, sitting up. "You want me to leave?"

"Of course not Alex. We all love having you here. May I come in?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, pushing my books aside to clear a spot for him. "What's up?" I asked him, ready for the news.

"I don't know how to tell you this Alex…"

"What did my mom do now?" I knew it had to be something to do with her.

"She's getting married," he said. "To Jordan."

My heart leapt into my throat, and I tried my hardest not to cry. How could she marry that monster? I started getting flashes in my mind of what he'd done to me.

"Alex?" Joey whispered. I forced the thoughts out of my mind and put a fake smile on my face.

"That's fine with me," I said. "But I'm not going to the wedding. If that's an invitation, you can rip it up," I told him, pointing to the envelope in his hand.

"It's not…" he said, getting that same look in his face again. "I guess you just better look at these. Your mom dropped them off." He handed me the envelope and I ripped it open. I didn't want to wait for the heartache that she'd put on me next. I just wanted it to be over quickly.

They were custody papers. She wanted to get rid of me.

"I wanted to show them to you first. I'd never sign anything like that without asking you," he said. Joey really was a good guy. He wasn't like anyone my mother had ever dated. I knew I'd be safe with him.

"Sign them," I said. "Please."

"Of course I will, if that's what you want," he told me, patting my back. "Things will be different around here you know."

"They already are. Thanks for being there for me Joey, when you hardly even knew me." I gave him a hug and he stood up. He smiled at me before he left the room, closing the door behind him. I knew that things would be better here.

But that didn't stop the tears.

I cried and screamed into my pillow. My mother didn't want me anymore. Well, fuck her then. If she wants to marry Jordan, that asshole rapist, then she could go right ahead. I didn't need any of them.

I only needed one person.

I picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Paige, can you come over?" I asked, the tears on my face drying at the mere sound of her voice.

I hung up the phone and waited for the one person I knew would always love me back.

A/N: I know the JT POV was a bit random…I just wanted you guys to know what Paige was up to. Who do you think it was that Ellie saw after she kissed Jay? I want guesses from you guys! I'm sorry the chapter's late, but I'm gonna sit down tonight and try to write a few chapters for both of my stories. That way, they'll both be on time next week…I finally have a day off from work! Anyway, let me know what you think. The lyrics at the beginning are from the song "Stranger Inside" by Shinedown and they own it.