Chapter Nineteen: All At Once, Part One
Perfection will not come.
Ellie
It has been two weeks since my dad came home. Having him back is like a dream come true, and he's never leaving again.
We told my mom about the baby. Now it's the second week in October, and I am exactly four months pregnant today. The weekend after my dad came back, we went over to my old house to get all of my stuff. And Ben was there.
The look on my dad's face crushed me. He knew about them, but he hadn't seen it for himself yet. She was there on the couch with Ben, kissing him when we walked in. My dad told me to go to my room, so I started packing up my stuff. And then I heard the yelling.
I managed to look out my door and see my dad punch Ben. Good. I hoped his nose was broken again, then stormed out of the room, dragging a few bags behind me.
"Where are you going Eleanor?" my mom shouted. I narrowed my eyes at her and took all I had not to spit on the floor at her feet.
"I live with dad now. Don't bother to come and see your grandchild. Ever," I hissed, walking right out the door.
"I'll send you the divorce papers," Dad added, following me. "I'll be back for the rest of her stuff when you assholes aren't around."
And that had been the last time I saw my mother. My dad did go back and get my furniture, and then he got a lawyer for their divorce.
The new house was nice. It had four bedrooms; one for my dad, one more me, one for the baby, and an extra one that we made up as a guest room. My dad's room and the guest room were downstairs, and my bedroom and the nursery were upstairs. There was a bathroom between the two rooms, where my dad set up my old changing table. It was in pretty good shape.
He also got my crib from the attic of my mom's house. He went out and bought a dresser for the baby's room, but other than those pieces of furniture, it was pretty bare. We still had five months to fix it up.
The rest of the house was made up of a kitchen with a table that had room for six people, a small living room with two couches and a television, and the downstairs bathroom. I already fell in love with it, and I knew I'd be living there for a long time.
"So, about the party tonight," I said to my dad as we ate ice cream at ten o'clock in the morning.
"What about it?" he asked.
"Well, we have to go shopping for decorations. And a cake. Emma dinfitely needs a cake."
My dad had agreed to let me throw a birthday party for Emma at our house. We had already invited everyone. The final list was made up of: Me, Emma, Spike, Snake, Craig, Joey, Angela, Alex, Spinner, Jay, Abby, Marco, Tim, Paige, JT, Jimmy, and Manny. I figured I'd invite Manny too, and maybe Emma could make up with her.
"Let's go then," he said, dumping our ice cream dishes in the sink.
Marco
"I have to tell you something," I said as I approached my mother. She was making lunch for her, Tim, and I. We'd been living apart (Tim and me), but things were great between us. We spent some time together every day after school, and always had lunch with my mom every Saturday.
"What is it?" she finally asked.
"I…I talked to dad," I said softly, hanging my head. Tim reached over and put his hand on top of mine. "And I don't think he's coming back."
"When did you talk to him?" she asked, taking a break from her cooking.
"Two weeks ago." I looked up to see if she had any type of surprised reaction, but she just frowned. "Don't be angry…" I trailed off, slumping down in the chair.
"I'm not angry Marco. You did the right thing, trying to make up with him."
"But it's my fault that he's not coming back. He said it's because of who I am," I whined, feeling like I was a little kid again.
"It's not you, it's him. And to tell you the truth, we'd been having problems before he found out about you and Tim. So it's not your fault, and you have to remember that."
Tim squeezed my hand and kissed me on the cheek. Then my mom placed our plates in front of us.
"Thanks you guys," I said to both of them. "Now Tim, are you ready for the party tonight?"
"Of course."
Craig
I shook Alex a little, trying to wake her up. She stirred, but stayed put, her eyes screwed shut.
"Alex!" I called into her ear. She snapped up immediately, knocking her head right into mine.
"What's wrong with you?" she grumbled, holding her head in her hands.
"I'm sorry. Rough night?" I asked. She looked horrible. But then again, she looked that way every morning nowadays.
"Not really. I had fun last night. More like, rough morning." She swung her legs over the side of the bed and rubbed her eyes. I saw that she was only wearing a short shirt and her underwear, and desperately wished that no one was home.
"Your hangover's that bad?" I asked. She looked up at me, annoyed, but didn't say anything. "Besides, it's not even morning. It's one in the afternoon, and we're all leaving for Emma's party soon."
"Do I have to go? My head is killing me."
"It would be nice of you. Maybe you should think about not drinking every night. I don't like seeing you like this Alex," I told her, sitting down beside her.
"Maybe you should mind your own business. You have no idea what it's like to be me," she said, moving away from me.
"I know what it's like to not have any real parents left," I said softly, placing a hand on her leg. She jumped, and stood up, acting very skittish.
"Except I still have a mother. She just doesn't want me."
I watched her leave the room and sighed. I didn't want to see her hurting herself, and beating herself up over her mom. She wasn't the same person that I fell for.
Spinner
I got to Ellie's house before anyone else, and helped her and her dad set up the rest of the decorations. I'd been hoping to talk to her alone, about Emma, but no such luck. She was really busy, and as soon as we finished, she went upstairs.
Surprisingly enough, the person who showed up after me, was Paige. I expected her not to come, or show up late. But there she was, with a wrapped package in hand, and towing JT along with her.
"Spinner, what a pleasant surprise," she said, somewhat fake. I rolled my eyes, but walked up to her and placed a hand on her arm.
"Can I talk to you?" I whispered, jerking my head to the side to show that I wanted to get away from JT.
"About what?" she asked, pulling her arm away.
"It's really important," I pleaded.
"I'll be right back," she told JT, surprising me. She followed me out to the backyard, where I knew we'd have some privacy.
"I need to talk to you about Emma," I said, not wasting her time or mine. "She's been in a similar situation that you were, and I think you're the only person that can talk some sense into her…" I trailed off, hoping that she'd guess.
"Meaning, she's dating you, and she's crazy for doing it?" she asked, laughing a little. She saw the look on my faced and instantly stopped. "Sorry."
"Paige, I didn't want to bring this up at all, and I don't want to cause any problems for you, or bring up bad memories. But, the similar situation is…what happened to you…with…Dean." I forced myself to say his name, anger building in my every muscle.
Paige's face turned absolutely white. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me, her mouth hanging slightly open.
"When did this happen?" she asked.
"About four months ago," I said truthfully. I didn't expect Paige to hit me, but she did. She smacked me on my shoulder.
"What is wrong with you? Haven't you gotten anyone to help?" she asked, tears in her eyes.
"She doesn't want to go through with a trial. There's no evidence. You of all people should understand that. Ellie and Manny know too, but I'm not sure if they've told anyone. I'm really worried about her Paige," I said, finally breaking down. I let a few tears escape my eyes before quickly drying them. "I thought you could talk to her."
"Of course I will," she said. "Is there anything else I should know?" she asked. "Like who did it?"
"I think maybe she should be the one to tell people, not me. But Paige...I don't think she's eating. She looks so thin, and she always looks so weak. I talked to Ms. Sauvé two weeks ago, but she hasn't even done anything about it. And when Emma found out, she freaked on me. She hasn't even talked to me since," I explained, crying even more.
"I'll look out for her Spin." She rested a reassuring hand on my arm before hugging me, and wiping her own tears away.
"You have no idea how much that means to me," I said. I prayed that Paige could help Emma. She was my last hope.
Jay
I sat on Ellie's couch and stared at the ceiling, a cup of punch in my hand. The party was going pretty smoothly, and everyone seemed to be having fun. Everyone except for me.
Ellie answered the door when I showed up. She smiled at me, took the present from my hand, and walked away. I haven't seen her since. It seems like she's been avoiding me all night.
Angela had come up to me and asked where Abby was. I nearly broke down and started to cry, but instead, I managed to keep up my "tough guy" persona and glared at her before shrugging. She saw right through it though. Damn little kids.
"What's wrong?" she asked, sitting down on the couch next to me.
"Nothing that's any of your business," I said, staring ahead. "Get lost."
"I'm gonna sit here until my dad is ready to go. So you can tell me if you feel like it," she said, leaning against the back of the couch.
I groaned and stood up, finally ungluing myself from the couch. Instead of leaving, I walked out into the backyard and lit a cigarette, away from the commotion. I sat down against the house and smoked, trying to forget the past weeks' events.
I went right back into the hospital that night, to see a doctor about my eye. I lied and said I got into a fight with someone at a party, and he seemed to believe me. My cheekbone was broken, and it hurt like a bitch.
He said I needed surgery or something, so I gave him my dad's insurance information. What a load of shit. I told him my dad was there with my sister, but not to bother him because I was fine. Bad idea.
My dad came back with the doctor, acting all concerned and upset. They scheduled a day for my surgery the following week, then the doctor left to give us a minute alone.
"Make sure you're gone." My dad hissed before leaving the room.
The surgery went well and all of that crap, and now here I am, stuck with wearing a bandage over my eye.
That night, after the hospital, I packed up all my stuff and left. It wasn't like I had much of anything to pack, so it only took a half hour. I just shoved my clothes and photos into two bags, tossed them into my car, and drove off.
I had nowhere to go, because I obviously had no real friends. I briefly considered Wasaga Beach, but decided against it as soon as Ellie entered my mind. And that brought up the possibility of living with her. I went by her new house, and saw that it had room, but I couldn't do it.
So I headed off to the ravine, the place that was my second home for so long. And I've been sleeping my car. It's pretty pathetic, but it beats living with my father.
I missed Abby so much, but right now, I couldn't do anything about it. As soon as I'd gotten to the ravine that night, I called the police and told them about my "neighbors." Apparently they called the right people, and they took her away.
I watched through the hospital window as some official looking people approached my dad and her mom. Judy started crying hysterically. They were taken out of the room, and social services talked to Abby. She was calm, and she didn't look upset at all. It was the only thing that I could do for her.
JT
I must have been feeling very sympathetic, or very insane. Whichever one, I wasn't sure why I walked up to Alex and started talking to her. She was hungover, and it looked like she hadn't slept in days. Paige had been telling me that they were good friends, so I felt like I should try to be friends with her too.
She was leaning against the wall in the corner, holding a cup of punch. I watched from a distance as she pulled a small flask out of her pocket and poured whatever it was into her cup. Then I decided to approach her.
"Like the party?" I asked. She looked up quickly, then frowned.
"Go away JT," she said angrily, taking a big gulp of her drink.
"Alex, are you okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned. Now that I was even closer to her, she looked even worse for wear. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her skin was as white as a ghost.
"As long as I've got this," she said, holding her cup up a little, "I'm great." She took another sip and grinned.
"Maybe you should slow down," I warned her. We were only at a birthday party, and there were kids here. Okay, so only one kid…but there were parents too.
"Maybe you should mind your own business," she shot back, licking the alcohol off of her lips. "And go find your stuck up little cheerleader girlfriend," she added.
"I thought you and Paige were friends?" I was getting a little confused. "Best friends…"
"Not anymore. Things change quickly JT; you should have figured that out by now."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, even more confused.
"I'm just about done wasting my breath. I have more drinks to make," she said, simply walking away like we hadn't been talking about anything at all. I immediately felt very angry, though I wasn't sure why.
Things change quickly JT; you should have figured that out by now…
What did she mean by that? What had changed that I didn't know about?
I had decided to find Paige, and ask her if she knew what Alex was going on about, when a surprise guest walked in the door.
Manny
"I was just so stupid, and I'm sorry," I told Emma. I'd finally managed to get her alone so I could apologize.
"I don't want to talk about it Manny, but I forgive you. You didn't know, and it's not your fault," she said. We hugged then, and I didn't want to let go of her. She felt so tiny in my arms, like she would snap in half if I hugged too hard.
"You're my best friend, and I don't want anything bad to ever happen to you again," I said, trying not to cry. "I'm worried about you Em," I added.
"Don't be worried. I'm fi…" I think she was about to say fine, but she suddenly froze and stared at the door.
"What is it?" I asked. When she didn't answer me, I turned around, and saw only Toby standing in the living room. "It's just Toby…" I trailed off, still oblivious to what was going on.
Then I saw Spinner charging at him, and I knew. It was him.
"Come on Emma," I said, grabbing her arm and trying to direct her away from the confrontation.
"No!" she screamed, so loud that the entire party just stopped. Everyone was silent, watching, and waiting to see what would happen next.
Emma
I broke away from Manny and slowly walked forward, right towards him. I wanted to scream, spit in his face, punch him, do whatever I could to get him out of my head. I wanted revenge on Toby. I wanted him to feel the way I did that night…
"Is this fun for you Emma?" he asked, pressing his lips against mine. The kiss was too hard and forceful.
"Stop it," I cried.
"Or how about this." He reached up under my skirt and pulled my underwear down.
"Don't," I said, tears spilling down my face.
"Don't you want to know what it feels like to be a full blown whore? You're already on your way…" he trailed off as he pulled his pants and underwear down in one swift movement.
I lunged for the door, but he caught me and pinned me down.
"Please," I said, trying one last time to get through to him.
It didn't work.
"Who's gonna save you now?"
I shook the thoughts away and bit my lip. Spinner. Spinner would save me now. I saw him get in Toby's face, and start pushing him to the door. I never should have gotten angry with him. He was everything to me.
He almost had Toby all the way out the door when JT came from out of nowhere and started pulling at Spinner's arm. I wanted to yell at him to stop, but he didn't know. No one knew except for Spinner.
Spinner pulled his arm away from JT, and was about to punch Toby, when Dad and Joey came out of nowhere and broke them up. I wanted to scream at them to let Spinner do it, but nothing came out of my mouth.
"What's going on here?" Joey asked, holding Toby out of Spinner's reach.
"Tell them Toby! Tell them why I should kick your ass right here!" Spinner yelled. I felt hot tears falling down my cheeks, and I couldn't stop them. I walked even closer, putting a hand on Spinner's arm.
"Spinner, don't," I warned him.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Toby yelled. Then he turned to me. "Emma, I only came to say Happy Birthday. Call your dog off of me," he said, grinning.
"SHUT UP!" I suddenly screamed at Toby. Just having him look at me put a chill down my spine. I lunged at him and started clawing, feeling my nails dig into his face. My mother grabbed hold of me and dragged me back.
"Emma, what has gotten into you?" she asked me. Everyone was staring.
"It's Spinner," JT said suddenly. "He's changed her into a completely different person."
"You think I've changed her?" Spinner said, unexplainably calm. He was going to do it. He was gong to tell. "Do you want to know who really changed her Yorke?" He asked.
"Spinner, don't!" I screamed. I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was having a heart attack; my chest started to tighten, and I was gasping for air.
"Toby changed her!" he yelled.
"No!" I screamed, clutching into my chest. I fell to the ground, and struggled to breathe. Both of my parents were above me, but Spinner didn't stop.
"He RAPED her!" I heard him yell. My eyelids fluttered and everything went black.
Ellie
The room became completely silent as Emma lost consciousness. I saw my dad call 911, and Toby turned to run, now that no one was holding him. Spinner grabbed him and knocked him to the ground, punching him over and over again.
When the ambulance came, Spinner and Toby stopped fighting. Emma's parents prepared to follow in their car. Toby ran the first chance he got, and instead of chasing him again, Spinner got in the car with Emma's parents.
The rest of us just watched the ambulance go, unsure of what to do next. The party was obviously over.
Craig, Alex, Angela, and Joey left at once, not wanting to stick around for the uncomfortable silence that had filled my house. Manny was pushing Jimmy to the door, yelling out to his driver that they had to go to the hospital. The last people to leave were JT and Paige. JT looked like he was going to be sick, and Paige was telling him that she had to go talk to Emma.
I guess everyone went off to the hospital except for me, my dad, Tim, Marco, and Jay. Marco walked into the living room and put an arm around me, leading me over to the couch. Tim sat beside him, and my dad said he was going to start cleaning up.
Jay came into the room last, sitting down on the other side of me and taking my hand. I wasn't sure why I was so upset. Emma was the one who should be feeling like this. Maybe it was just the hormones from being pregnant, but I started to cry. I lay my head on Marco's shoulder and cried for a few minutes.
Everything was still silent. I should have gone straight to the hospital, but I hated that place. I didn't want to see Emma like that. She'd become my best girl friend, and I didn't want to watch as doctors poked and prodded her. I prayed that she would be alright, and just cried.
"I guess I missed the party," I heard someone say from the door. That voice…
I looked up and nearly jumped out of my skin. My stomach started rolling around, and I thought I was going to be sick. It could have been morning sickness, or the baby moving around, but I knew it wasn't.
I stood and back away from the door.
"What's wrong?" he asked. "I didn't think you'd be upset to see me. I've missed you Ellie.
"Sean?" I whispered, unable to hold back the newest flow of tears that followed. I looked to the couch and saw Marco and Tim just staring, unsure of what to do, or why I was so spooked.
Jay stood up and came to my side, grabbing onto my hand. I didn't know why he did that, but I was glad for it.
Sean walked right up to me and brushed some hair out of my face. Then he looked me up and down, surveying the state I was in. He reached out and placed a hand on my stomach, and I wanted to scream. What was he doing?
"Ellie…are you…pregnant?" he whispered.
I wanted to turn and run, hide from Sean, and Jay, and Marco…
I couldn't speak, my throat was incredibly dry. And for some reason, I found that I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't lie to anyone anymore. I wiped the tears off of my face, and nodded.
A/N: How was it? Sorry if the beginning was boring…but I was just trying to get to the end of the chapter. Any guesses as to what will happen next? The title and lyrics come from the song "All At Once" byThe Fray, and they own it. Part 2 will be up next Thursday (unless I finish it early, and decide to surprise you).