Chapter Twenty-One: All At Once, Part Three

Sometimes we'd never know what's wrong without the pain

JT

I just asked Paige what was going on with Alex.

"What do you mean?" she asked me, batting her eyelashes and trying to kiss me.

"At the party, she was drinking a lot. She looked really bad. And she said that you were a stuck up little cheerleader or something. But I thought you guys were best friends," I said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"We just…got into a fight, that's all," she looked away from me, and I knew that she was leaving something out. Something important.

"The way Alex acted, it seemed like it was more than that…" I was trying to leave her room to explain, but she just wouldn't.

"I guess it really upset her," she shrugged, looking me in the eye this time. "I called her some nasty names." She sighed and changed the subject.

"Is anyone home?" she asked.

"No, not until tomorrow morning. Dad's on a business trip and Mom's visiting her sister."

"Great. As long as I give myself time to go home and change in the morning…"

"Come on in," I said, grinning and leading the way. I forgot all about Alex and took my girlfriend up to my room.

Spinner

"Are you mad at me Em?" I asked her, holding onto her hand as tight as I could. I didn't want to ever let go of her. I was afraid of what would happen if I did.

"Why?" she asked. Her voice sounded so small. For the first time since I'd known that she wasn't eating anymore, I realized just what I had done. It was my fault that it had gone this far. I knew, for months, and didn't say anything to anyone. I talked to Ms. Sauvé, but even then, it had been too late.

"I never told anyone Emma. Not until I talked to Ms. Sauvé. And even then, I didn't give any names. I just told her I 'had a friend.' It's my fault that this spiraled out of control," I told her.

"Don't blame yourself Spin. This is my fault, and no one else's. Besides, I probably would have lied to anyone about it. How many people would have believed, until now, that I would do this? I wouldn't have believed it if you asked me last year," she explained.

"I should have helped you." I didn't want her convincing me to give in. It was more my fault than it was hers. She had a problem and she couldn't help it. I could have helped it. I could have told someone.

"You're helping me now," she whispered, squeezing my hand.

"Really?" I asked. She nodded and closed her eyes, letting a few tears fall.

"Spinner?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she asked, opening her eyes again.

I silently got up and moved over to the bed, climbing in next to her. Even though I was a little big, she was so much smaller than she used to be, and we fit.

"I'll never leave you," I whispered in her ear and stroked her hair as she fell asleep.


Alex

When I woke up the next morning, it was about six o'clock. My head was pounding so bad that I could barely lift it, let alone actually get out of bed. The rest of my body hurt all over, and I couldn't move my legs much either.

I somehow managed to sit up, and realized I was in a motel room. I couldn't remember how I got there, but then I looked over and started to cry. Jordan was there, fast asleep. I tried to be quiet enough to leave without him noticing. But I couldn't do it.

I got my legs over the side of the bed, and thought that I was getting somewhere, when I felt a hand wrap around my wrist. I gasped in pain as he pulled me backwards and climbed on top of me.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, his breath hot on my face. He reeked of beer and cigarettes, and I probably did too—well, of vodka at least.

"I have to go to school. I'm sure Joey is wondering where I am as it is. You wouldn't want people to be suspicious, would you? Especially if they see you walking out of here with me," I said, turning my head away.

He used his one free hand to pull my face towards him. He leaned down, his body pressing against mine even harder, and kissed me. I did the only thing I could do. I let him slip his tongue into my mouth, and I bit down as hard as I could. He started swearing and fell right of the bed, and his blood dripped on my white tank top; the only thing I was wearing.

I forced myself to move quickly; it was probably the most pain I'd experienced in my life, but I had to do it. I pushed and pushed myself to get off the bed and find my pants, abandoning my underwear. It would take too long to find it. I didn't have that kind of time.

I stumbled out into the sunlight and immediately fell back against the building. The sun was too bright for my hangover, and I couldn't keep my eyes open. I only got about two feet from the building when I felt him grab me again. He kept his mouth shut, but I could see a trickle of blood coming out of the right corner.

He stuck my sunglasses on my face, an action I was all too grateful for, and threw an arm around my waist, dragging me forward. I couldn't do anything but give in; I was in twice the pain as before from trying to get away so quickly.

"Where are we going?" I groaned.

"I'm walking you to school, you stupid little bitch," he spat, his tongue not bleeding anymore.

"I can't go," I groaned. A huge pain was shooting between my legs, and I didn't think I'd be able to make it there, no matter how close it was. "There's blood on my shirt."

"Too bad. Come up with your own excuse. They'll know you're just trash and you went out drinking. And if you mention me, I'll kill you." He squeezed my hip, digging in his nails, to let me know that he was serious. I believed him.

Suddenly, Jordan was dragging me away from the sidewalk, trying to make it into the grass. We were at the park right near the school. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a car pull up and man get up, hurriedly approaching us.

He caught up with us, and to my surprise, it was Mr. Simpson. He took one look at me, and then another look at the arm around my waist. Mr. Simpson's eyes followed the arm up to the face of its owner. I didn't see it coming. He pulled me away from Jordan and punched him right in the face. Most people haven't seen their teacher punch anyone, much less the guy who was molesting them. It's amazing.

"I served my time, and I could charge you with assault," Jordan said to Mr. Simpson. What was he talking about?

Simpson asked me how I knew him and I just cried. I couldn't tell him that he was with my mother. Because then he'd think even less of me than he already did. I had no idea why I didn't want Simpson to think less of me. I just didn't.

"For your information Archibald," Jordan said with a sneer. "She's my stepdaughter. And she was out drinking all night. I had to come find her because Joey called the house looking for her. At least I care enough to go out and look for her."

"Alex, is that true?" Simpson asked me. What could I do? If I told the truth, he probably would kill me. So I nodded my head.

"He was just looking out for me," I choked out, holding back more tears. "I didn't want Joey to be mad," I lied.

"You need to go home. You can't go to school like this." He was suddenly angry. Maybe he knew I was lying and that was why he was mad, or maybe he was mad that he thought I was proving everyone right that I was the "bad seed."

I nodded my head and looked down at the ground; ashamed of the position I had put myself in. How did I let any of this happen? There was no way out now. At least I still had Joey.

"I'll take you to Joey's," Simpson offered. "Stay away from her," he added, narrowing his eyes at Jordan. I still had no clue as to how he knew him, but I didn't care. At least I was getting away from the bastard.

On the ride to Joey's, Simpson gave me one last chance to tell him anything that I'd been leaving out. I stayed silent, thanked him for the ride, and tried not to limp as I went into the house.

I went into the downstairs bathroom because I didn't have the strength to make it up the stairs. Craig was already at school, Joey at work, and Angie at daycare. I stripped off my tank top and jeans, turning the shower on as hot as it would go. I sat down in the tub and pulled my knees to my chest, letting the hot water pound into my skin. It was burning me, but I didn't care. I had to get any trace of him off of my body.

It was the only way I would stay sane.

Ellie

When I woke up in the morning, I was surprised to find Jay still there. I was sure that he'd be gone, leaving behind no note at all. But he was fast asleep, his mouth hanging open a little. My head was still on his chest; neither of us had moved all night. I tried to think of the last time I'd slept soundly for an entire night, and didn't come up with anything.

I went downstairs and left Jay there, finding a note from my dad. He called the school and said that I was sick. He must have known that Jay was there, and I already told him that he was the father. He knew that we needed time to talk things over. Maybe things would be different since he knew about the baby.

I rummaged through the refrigerator to find a decent breakfast for us. I wasn't much of a cook, but I started to attempt some eggs and bacon. When I'd just finished putting the plates together, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun around, ready to give Jay a good morning kiss, only to find myself face to face with Sean. I completely forgot that he stayed in the guest room.

"You made me breakfast too?" he asked, smiling.

"Actually…I forgot you were here," I admitted, blushing. "I'm not used to you being in our guest room—not to mention I'm not used to having a guest room."

"It makes sense that you'd need that much food anyway. You're eating for two now." He said the last part with a little contempt and made himself a bowl of cereal.

Go right ahead, I thought. Just eat our food without even asking!

"Why did you come back Sean?" I asked. I knew our food was going to get cold, but I didn't want Jay to wake up right now either. I didn't need a big fight between the two of them.

"I missed you," he said, sighing as he sat down with his bowl. I stayed standing near the counter, leaning my back against it.

"So you waited four months?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. He had no right to leave for that long, and then show up, right when I was moving on. "You have no right to come back her after I've been able to get over you."

"Why didn't you tell me about the baby?" he asked, not answering my question. A typical Sean move.

"Because it's none of your business," I spat, crossing my arms over my chest. I suddenly felt cold. I wanted Jay next to me. I wanted him holding me.

"Oh. I just thought that a girl pregnant with my child would be my business," he shot back, raising his eyebrows.

"It's not your baby!" I argued.

"So you slept with someone else. It had to have been right after I left. You're about four months pregnant, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, sighing. I wanted to leave the room, but for some reason, I stayed.

"And I've been gone for four months. Four months ago, we had sex. The night before I left…" he trailed off, grinning. I didn't say anything at all, I just let it all process in my mind before replying.

"You used a condom," I pointed out. "Not your kid."

"Actually Ellie, I didn't." My breath caught in my throat. I tried to remember back to that night. Before I knew he was going to leave me. We went to the apartment after going to a movie with Alex and Jay. We kissed our way into the bedroom. And…there were no condoms left…

Sean snorting brought me out of my thoughts. He didn't look happy, like I he was acting. He looked upset.

"You actually don't know who the father is?" he asked.

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. No, it had to be Jay. It couldn't be Sean's baby, it just couldn't.

Does it matter? I'm putting it up for adoption.

"So, who's the other lucky guy? Does he know that he might not be the father? Does he even know there's a possibility?" Sean asked those three questions as I heard someone coming down the stairs. It was Jay, obviously.

"It's you?" Sean exclaimed, looking straight ahead.

"What about me?" Jay asked, scratching his stomach. He was still wearing only his boxers.

I felt bile rising in my throat, and pushed past them, heading straight for the bathroom.

Manny

I sat in Emma's room while she slept. As soon as school ended, I rushed over to the hospital. I told her parents they could go home and sleep, and I talked with her nurse for awhile. They said that she could go home tomorrow, but she would need constant supervision; I promised that I would give it.

I avoided Jimmy all day at school, which was fairly easy, because I realized that he was avoiding me too. The only time I looked at him, I gave him a small smile, but he just looked away. I felt horrible for doing it, but Emma needed me. It's my fault she's here.

"Manny?" I heard Emma whisper.

"You're awake!" I said excitedly, wrapping my arms around her for a hug. She smiled when I pulled back and sat at the end of her bed. "You look better," I told her truthfully.

"Thanks."

"Do you need anything? Some food, a drink, anything at all?" I asked; ready to do whatever she wanted me to.

"No," she said, laughing a little. "You can just relax and talk to me. All I need is a friend."

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you," I told her, feeling more tears starting to come.

"Manny, I didn't mean it that way. This isn't your fault; you know that, right?" she asked me, placing her hand on my arm.

I nodded, even though I didn't exactly believe her. If I had been her best friend when everything happened with Toby, then she wouldn't be in the hospital right now.

"I know what you're thinking," she went on. "But you couldn't have prevented this. No one could have, and it's no one's fault."

That at least made me a little better. I nodded again.

"Let's talk about something happy then," I suggested, knowing full well that Emma was never really a negative person.

"How's Jimmy?" Emma asked, sitting up a little. I got up and fixed her pillows she could be more comfortable. "Thanks," she added.

"That's not such a happy subject," I admitted.

"Why? What happened?" She was concerned, which made me feel bad. She has enough problems of her own to be worrying about mine too.

"We just had a little fight, that's all," I said, shrugging my shoulders as if it were nothing. But it was taking all I had in me not to burst into tears.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. It seems like you really love each other," Emma said, patting my back.

"You're a great friend Emma," I told her, flashing her my first genuine smile of the day.

"You are too Manny," she replied, smiling back at me.

Too bad I didn't feel like one.

Paige

I spent the night at JT's house, and made it to school only a few minutes late. When the day was finally over, I was waiting outside for JT. He drove today, and I needed a ride home.

I realized I had a new voicemail while I was waiting. I checked my missed calls.

Alex

She probably got drunk and left me a nasty message. I decided to listen to it since I had nothing better to do. And I almost wished I hadn't.

"Paige? Paige! Please help me. I know you don't want me anymore but you have to help. Please! I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get out of here! Please Paige, please? HELP ME!"

My blood turned cold as I heard her pleading in the message. She was screaming and crying throughout the entire thing. After the last thing she said, I heard a man's voice. I couldn't make out what he said, but then the dial tone sounded in my ear. The message was left at two-thirty in the morning.

I tried to think if I saw Alex at school today, but then I remembered that I hadn't. Feeling a huge rush of guilt sweep over me, I left the school, and forgot all about JT. I ran as quickly as I could to Craig's house, which thankfully, wasn't very far.

I knocked as hard as I could, and no one answered. Then I remembered that Joey would still be at work, and Angela at school. Alex and I used to go over there and spend time together when Craig was practicing out in the garage.

Craig wasn't home either, and I vaguely remembered him saying something at lunch about going job hunting.

I tried the door, and it was unlocked, which meant that she had to be home. Taking the stairs two at a time, I ran into Alex's room and found her there, asleep in her bed. I sighed and sat down next to her, running a hand through her hair. She had a bruise on her cheek, and lightly ran my fingers over it. Who did this to her?

"Alex," I whispered, trying to get her to wake up. "Alex, it's me." Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of my voice, and she managed a weak smile. "What happened to you?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" she instantly got defensive, and pulled her hair from behind her ear so it would cover her cheek. But it was too late; I'd already seen some of the damage.

"Do you remember calling me at two-thirty this morning? Yelling for me to help you? What happened?" I repeated.

"Oh," she said, laughing a little. "I was drunk, don't worry about it." I could tell she was lying to me. That message was not a drunken joke. I heard the fear in her voice.

"Tell me the truth," I whispered, frowning at her.

"It is the truth. I was with a guy at the ravine, and we were joking around," she said. I shook my head and sighed.

"Even if you were telling the truth, that's not a very funny joke. And what were you even doing at the ravine, with a guy? You don't even like guys."

"Just mind your own business Paige. You're not my girlfriend anymore. I guess you never really were to begin with. So go back to JT, okay?" she snapped, pulling the blanket over her head.

"Don't be like that Alex. I'm trying to help you. You asked for my help in that message, and I'm here now." I moved around and lay down next to her, intent on staying. I wasn't going to leave her alone in this state.

"Paige, don't do this," she groaned. "Please just go away." I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was crying. "Just go."

"Alex," I sighed. I pulled the blanket down so I could see her. She turned around and faced me. I wiped the tears off of her face and kissed her cheek. "I care about you, and I don't want to see you like this. Just tell me what happened."

"I can't be with you like this. I can't be this close to you and not have you," she whispered, brushing my cheek with her fingers. She rolled back over and sighed.

"You don't want me to stay?" I asked. I wasn't sure why it was happening, but I wanted to stay with her. I didn't want her to turn me away.

"No, I don't," she answered. My heart fell.

I got up and left, unsure of what else to do. My phone rang as I was walking away from the house. It was JT; he was waiting for me.

Marco

I sat in my room after school, waiting for Tim to call. I guess it was pretty bad that I only hung out with him, and not any of my other friends, but I couldn't help it. He meant so much to me, and besides, everyone else was paired off anyway. Paige was with JT, Craig with Alex, Spinner with Emma, and Jimmy with Manny. We all hung out with our respective boyfriend or girlfriend and that was about it.

I was thinking about a day for us all to get together when the phone rang. I answered it, thinking it would be Tim. But it wasn't.

"Marco? Please put your mother on the phone," the voice of my uncle boomed out at me.

"Why?" I asked, deciding to be a pain. He could talk to me.

"Just put her on. Now." I knew how my dad's brother got angry very easily, so I gave up with a sigh and called down to my mother. I hung up as soon as she answered, not really up to listening in on her phone call.

I flopped backwards on my bed and suddenly wished that I could talk to Ellie. We hadn't had a good, serious talk in a long time. And she's pregnant. She didn't even tell me. I wanted to ask her about it; I was sure she'd tell me. We're still best friends after all. Aren't we?

I picked up the phone to call her, completely forgetting that my uncle called. They were still on the phone, and this time, I didn't hang up.

"I'll be right there," I heard my mother say. It sounded like she was crying, or had been.

"Don't bring Marco," my uncle told her. "He doesn't want him there," he added.

"Fine," she answered coldly. She slammed the phone down, obviously irritated. I hung up the phone and went over my computer, pretending that I'd been on it the entire time. I heard my mom's footsteps coming up the stairs.

She knocked on my door and I called for her to come in.

"What did he want?" I asked her, seeing the look of worry on her face. She'd done a good job of hiding the fact that she had been crying.

"What?" she asked. "Oh, your Uncle wanted me to go see your father," she said, not giving any other details.

"At his house?" I figured that wasn't where she was going, and I knew my mom never lied to me.

"No," she replied. "He's at the hospital."

"What?" I yelled, jumping up from my desk. "Why? Is he okay?"

"I don't know honey. I'll tell you as soon as I get back what's going on," she assured me.

"Can't I come?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer. She shook her head sadly.

"It's just not a good idea right now. I'll see you later. Maybe you should invite some of your friends over. Watch a movie," she suggested. She left without another word, and I immediately rushed over to my phone and dialed Tim's number.

Craig

I found Alex lying in her bed when it was time for dinner. The door was open, but I knocked anyway. I knew she was awake—she was staring up at the ceiling—but she didn't say a word. I decided it would be okay to just go in. She was my girlfriend after all.

"It's time for dinner," I whispered, crawling up on the bed and slipping my arms around her. I felt her flinch and move away. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Please Craig, go away," she begged, rolling over so her back was to me.

"Alex, why won't you talk to me?" I asked, getting irritated. "All you've been doing lately is going out and getting drunk. We haven't even spent any time together recently. I miss you." I smelled her hair as I kissed her neck. She smelled like cigarettes and alcohol, but I didn't mind.

Apparently she didn't like me kissing her neck though, because she pushed herself up into a sitting position, and kept her back to me, staying hunched over.

"Why are you acting this way? Do I suddenly repulse you or something?" I didn't move from where I was sitting, mainly because I didn't want her to run away from me. She was too far as it was.

"I can't do this anymore Craig," she said, sighing. She was crying; I could hear it in her voice.

"Don't cry Alex. What are you talking about? I love you…" I paused and I could tell those words had some kind of effect on her. I just wasn't sure if it was good or bad. I'd never told her that, but I'd been feeling it lately. I couldn't stand to be away from her, and when she left every night, it really hurt me.

"You don't love me Craig," she finally replied, turning around to face me. That was when I saw the bruise on her cheek. I gasped, and slowly brought my hand up to brush my fingers against it. She pulled away before I got there.

"Yes, I do," I said, trying to convince her of it. I already knew that I meant it.

"We can't be together Craig," she said, letting a few tears fall down her cheeks.

"Who did that to you?" I asked, suddenly feeling very angry.

"No one," she told me, obviously lying.

"Are you seeing someone else? And getting drunk with him? Is he the one who hits you? Do you think you're better off with someone who hurts you Alex? Because the last time I checked, I've never laid a hand on you like that." I felt the sudden need to defend myself, even though she hadn't admitted any of it yet.

"Yes Craig, there's someone else. And I don't get hurt. I'm fine. So leave me alone, okay?"

I felt my anger to disappear, only to be replaced by a different emotion. Sadness. I didn't want her to do this to me. I did love her. She was breaking my heart.

"How can you leave me for some bastard who pushes girls around?" I asked, feeling tears well up behind my eyes. I would not cry in front of her.

"Get out of here!" she screamed, turning her back to me again. "Just LEAVE!"

The anger was slowly building up again. She's acting like I'm the one hurting her, when it's really the other way around. I got up and stormed out of the room before I did anything I would regret later.

Then I slammed my bedroom door, threw myself onto my bed, and cried.

Emma

Just before dinner time, my mom finally convinced Manny that she could go home and get some rest. Dad showed up shortly after that, having just come from the school. Right after he came, my nurse brought in a tray of food from the cafeteria.

I made a face at it and pushed it away a little. It looked disgusting. There were chicken nuggets that were soggy when I poked them, and a scoop of mashed potatoes that looked more like ice cream. I won't even get into the pile of whatever vegetable that was supposed to be in the corner.

I'm a vegetarian, so I wouldn't have eaten the chicken anyway. And even if the food had looked delicious, I wouldn't have been able to eat it at all. One look at any kind of food turned my stomach. And I was so used to not feeling hungry anymore.

My mom frowned at my actions, but my dad asked to talk with her outside. They left, and I pushed the cart away that held my tray, rolling over on my side. They must have thought that they were being quiet enough, but I could hear bits and pieces of their conversation through the crack that the door had been left open.

"…Alex, one of my students…" I heard my dad say. What was so important about her? "…the guy she was with. I punched him." Wait, my dad punched someone?

"Who was it?" my mom asked. It was always harder for her to be quiet. I could hear everything she said.

I missed the name my dad mentioned, but I heard my mom gasp and start to cry.

"Jordan?" she asked.

I instantly froze. My heart started pounding in my chest; so loud that I was sure they would hear it. My breath caught in my throat and formed a huge lump.

"I think he did something to her," I heard my dad say. "…hangover…black and blue…"

I felt like I was going to throw up, but I couldn't move. Alex and Jordan. He did something to her. He…he was back.

My chest started to tighten; a feeling that had become familiar to me. I couldn't breathe anymore. It was too much. Too much flooded my head; memories of meeting Jordan, of realizing who he really was. Visions of Alex being subject to a monster like him.

Something nearby started to beep and wouldn't stop. I realized it was my heart monitor right before everything went black.

A/N: Sorry that the last chapter was so late. This one's up a few days early to make up for it a little. Chapter 22 will hopefully be up next Thursday. Again, the title and lyrics are from the song "All At Once" by The Fray and they own it.

I'm a bit confused about JT's living situation on the show. I remember in the episode where Liberty painted on JT's locker, Mr. Radditch said he was trying to get in touch with JT's parents. But then when Liberty was pregnant, he lived with his grandmother (I think) or did he just go to her for help? I don't understand, so in this story, he lives with his parents. But let me know if I mentioned him living with his grandmother earlier, and I'll change it.

The line break is splitting the days; after Spinner's POV, it's the next day. Hmm, earlier, when I mentioned that her mom's boyfriend's name was Jordan, did anyone realize that it was the same guy that lured Emma to the hotel room in the very first episode? So the chapter was mainly about Alex, but I needed it at some point.